Day 889 - Morrissey and Bowie Toe to Toe

February 19, 2014, 6:29 am

≫ Next: Day 890 - Noel's Blue Rose

≪ Previous: Day 888 - Black Cloud

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My black cloud is lifting, and in fact, the despair of losing my whole music collection has been replaced by an excitement of building a new one. One of the many, many positive things to have emerged from this whole MorrisseysWorld experience, is my introduction to music (particularly from the 60s and 70s) that I have never previously listened to. This introduction means that the music library I am now starting to piece together, will be light years away from my collection of the past. There is one artist in particular, whom MANY of my fellow Morrissey fans INSIST I have to include in my new collection, and that is David Bowie, but I'm just not sure. Let me explain:

I was born in the mid 1960's and my early years were spent listening to the music my parents listened to.
My dad didn't really seem to have any particular interest in music, but I suppose his teenage years (1949 to 1954) were pre the music revolution, so by the time rock n roll emerged, he was too old to 'get' pop music. My mum was born a couple of years after my dad, but likewise, she wasn't really into her music, so I ended up being born slap bang in the middle of the road, with the Carpenters and Cat Stevens for company. I'm sure the only reason that I wasn't run over, is because nobody was moving fast enough.

CARPENTERS - SLOW MOVING.... EXCEPT RICHARD CARPENTER'S NIPPLES!

Top of the Pops changed everything for me, and by 1975, I was spending every penny I had on the latest chart singles. YES I bought both Bye Bye Baby and Give a Little Love by the Bay City Rollers, and YES I bought Oh Boy by Mud, but my favourite song of 1975 was Space Oddity by David Bowie. What I didn't know though (as I was only 9), was that David Bowie had actually been around for ages by the time I had found him, and both Aladdin Sane and Ziggy Stardust had long since come and gone. I had been born too late!

So that is where I left David Bowie, in 1975, although I did buy Boys Keep Swingin', Ashes to Ashes, and one or two other singles along the way, but I have NEVER purchased a Bowie album. I have always felt that Bowie just wasn't mine, mainly because I had missed him at his peak. I fully understand why Morrissey loves Bowie so much, because Bowie 'shaped' Morrissey, but the real 'shaping' points in my life, were firstly hearing What Difference Does it Make, followed by seeing the Smiths perform... sorry, not perform, only seals perform.... er, seeing the Smiths LIVE in 1985.




Anyway, back to Bowie. Is it too late for me to 'get' Bowie?

One thing that I am starting to discover, is that there are many, many similarities with the career's of both Morrissey and Bowie, and it is really interesting to see what they were achieving at similar ages. Looking at their careers this way, it shows that if you run out of ideas/steam (and this seems to happen around the ages of 40 and 50 (crisis points?)), it is probably best to do NOTHING rather than feel you have to keep doing something. Or am I wrong, and are albums such as Never Let Me Down, Tin Machine and Earthling worth having in my collection? From what I have read of them, somehow I doubt it, and perhaps this is my problem with Bowie. If I had lived through the Ziggy times, perhaps I would feel more 'forgiving' for the Tin Machine days, but I look at his whole career, and I just can't see that there is anything to grab me from after 1980! That's 34 years ago!

I may be biased, in fact I'm sure I am, but I honestly believe that Morrissey's total career output is stronger than Bowie's, and therefore, in my eyes, Bowie's work doesn't live up to Morrissey's. Morrissey seems to KNOW when to leave the audience wanting more. In the context of a career, Morrissey seems to understand, possibly better than ANYONE else, when NOT to release an album. As I have stated before, I believe it is absolute bollocks that Morrissey hadn't been able to get a record deal, he just FULLY understood (however frustrating as it may be) that you HAVE to wait if you want EVERY album to be as good, or better, than the previous one. Morrissey quite possibly even learnt this from studying Bowie's mistakes. There I go again. Who am I to call Bowie's album's 'mistakes', after all, they continue to sell well, but is each Bowie album better, or as good as the last?


TIN MACHINE II - A NUMBER 23 ALBUM FOR BOWIE IN 1991

Perhaps I am over analysing all this. Perhaps I should just go out and download all of Bowie's albums from the early seventies and leave it at that, after all, I DO like all the early stuff that I know about, but in the meantime, here is the Toe to Toe career achievements of Morrissey and Bowie:

AGE 24 - Bowie has first album chart success with Hunky Dory (Number 3 UK 1971)

               - Morrissey has first album chart success with The Smiths (Number 2 UK 1984)

AGE 25 - Bowie releases his Ziggy Stardust album (Number 5 UK 1972), which many people see as his legacy.

               - Morrissey releases his Meat is Murder album (Number 1 UK 1985), which makes him one of the most famous advocates of vegetarianism.




AGE 26 - Bowie releases Aladdin Sane album (Number 1 UK 1973) & cover album Pin Ups (No.1 UK 1973)

               - Morrissey tours all year with The Smiths. The Queen is Dead album is delayed.

AGE 27 - Bowie releases Diamond Dogs album (Number 1 UK 1974 )

              - Morrissey releases The Queen is Dead (Number 2 UK 1986)

AGE 28 - Bowie releases Young Americans album (Number 2 UK 1975)

              - Morrissey releases Strangeways Here We Come (Number 2 UK in 1987, which goes Gold), splits with The Smiths and releases Viva Hate (Number 1 UK 1988)

AGE 29 - Bowie releases Station to Station album (Number 5 UK in 1976)

              - The Smiths release live album Rank (Number 2 UK 1988)

AGE 30 - Bowie releases Low album (Number 2 UK 1977) and "Heroes" album (Number 3 UK 1977)

              - Morrissey releases a number of singles including The Last of the Famous International Playboys (Number 6 UK 1989)

AGE 31 - Morrissey releases Bona Drag album (Number 9 UK 1990) and Kill Uncle (Number 8 UK 1991)

AGE 32 - Bowie releases Lodger album (Number 4 UK 1979)

              - Morrissey tours

AGE 33 - Bowie releases Scary Monsters album (Number 1 UK 1980)

              - Morrissey releases Your Arsenal album (Number 4 UK 1992)

AGE 34  - Morrissey releases Vauxhall and I album (Number 1 UK 1994)

AGE 36 - Bowie leaves the RCA record label and signs to EMI'. Releases Let's Dance album (Number 1 UK 1983).

- Ironically, Morrissey leaves EMI and joins RCA for the release of the album Southpaw Grammar (Number 4 UK 1995). Morrissey supports Bowie for part of his UK tour.



AGE 37 - Bowie releases Tonight album (Number 1 UK 1984)

AGE 38 - Morrissey releases Maladjusted on the Island record label (Number 8 UK 1997)

AGE 40 - Bowie releases Never Let Me Down album (Number 6 UK 1987)

AGE 42 - Bowie (as Tin Machine) releases Tin Machine (Number 3 UK 1989) The album doesn't sell well, and Bowie and EMI part company.

AGE 44 - Bowie (still as Tin Machine) releases Tin Machine II album on the London record label (Number 23 UK 1991)
              - Morrissey releases You Are The Quarry on the Attack label (Number 2 UK 2004)



AGE 46 - Bowie (no longer as Tin Machine) releases Black Tie White Noise album on Arista label, which includes a cover of Morrissey's I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday (Number 1 UK 1993)
             - Morrissey releases Ringleader of the Tormentors (Number 1 UK 2006)

AGE 48 - Bowie releases Outside album back on the RCA label (Number 8 UK 1995)


AGE 48 AND 36 RESPECTIVELY

AGE 49 - Morrissey releases Years of Refusal on the Decca label (Number 3 UK 2009)

AGE 50 - Bowie releases Earthling album (Number 6 UK 1997)

AGE 52 - Bowie releases Hours... album on the Virgin label. The album includes a song written by a competition winner, who then got to sing backing vocals! (Number 5 UK 1999)

AGE 55 - Bowie releases Heathen album on the Columbia label (Number 5 UK 2002)
              - Morrissey is set to release a new album for the Harvest label (Number ? UK 2014)

Bowie has released two further albums since 2002, Reality in 2003 (Number 3 UK 2003) and The Next Day (Number 1 UK 2013)

Right then, I suppose I had better get listening to some Bowie..... but somehow, I STILL can't get excited. I think I'll concentrate on Billy Fury first.

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Day 890 - Noel's Blue Rose

February 20, 2014, 9:36 am

≫ Next: Day 894 - All Quiet

≪ Previous: Day 889 - Morrissey and Bowie Toe to Toe

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How ironic that on the day that I wrote about David Bowie, he becomes the oldest ever recipient of a Brit award, picking up the 'Best UK Male Singer' at the age of 67. I'd better get listening to 'The Next Day' as soon as possible.

Bowie didn't actually pick up the award himself, Noel Gallagher announced to the audience, "You maniacs didn't think David Bowie was actually going to be here? David Bowie's too cool for that. He doesn't do this shit. David Bowie has sent his representative on earth. The one and only Kate Moss is going to receive this award on his behalf."

And on she strolled, an absolute vision, dressed in Bowie's ORIGINAL Ziggy Stardust outfit from 1972.







And just as Morrissey had told Rustle Brand what to say prior to introducing him at Hollywood High School, so Bowie had given words to Kate. Morrissey and Bowie are SO similar. Morrissey IS Bowie. Bowie IS Morrissey. Here is Bowie's acceptance speech, as read by the stunningly beautiful Kate Moss:

"In Japanese myth the rabbits from my old costume that Kate's wearing, live on the moon. Kate comes from Venus and I come from Mars, so that's nice. I'm completely delighted to have a Brit for being the best male, but I am, aren't I Kate? I think it's a great way to end the day."



The newspapers are all full of the whole Bowie/Kate outfit, but the most intriguing thing for me about  last night's Brit Awards, was the sight of Noel Gallagher wearing.... a BLUE ROSE brooch!



It goes without saying that NOBODY has picked up on Noel's Blue Rose, just as NOBODY picked up on Jonathan Ross favouriting a tweet of a photo of Morrissey accepting a Blue Rose on stage. Morrissey's 'show biz' mates are subtly flaunting Blue Rose, and the world can't see it. Noel is of course best friends with Rustle Brand, and only a few weeks ago, Morrissey and Noel were spotted in the same London hotel. Noel is also known to be a huge Moz fan. Noel KNOWS you know!

Perhaps, when Morrissey is awarded the 'Best UK Male Singer' award at next year's Brits, he can send Rustle Brand to receive it, dressed in the Blue Rose shirt that Moz wore in the 'Boy with the Thorn in his Side' video. The shirt currently hangs on the wall at the Salford Lads Club:



Mind you, I'd rather Moz send Kate Moss dressed in the shirt. Have I ever mentioned that I once met Kate? Yes, I believe I have. She really is the most STUNNING looking woman alive, so before I move on, just one more Kate picture for good measure:





Despite Morrissey being somewhere in France (La Fabrique?) recording his new album, he still finds time to pop into The Twitterdilly Arms on an almost daily basis. I have no idea of Morrissey's recording patterns (although I have this image in my head of him sauntering down to the studio at around 10 am each day, having first had a breakfast of tea and toast, and then laying down his vocals in one, before sauntering off again, leaving the band and producer to do their bit. I would then imagine Morrissey sauntering back down to the studio mid afternoon to let the ordinary people know if he approves or not! Now, time to get out of these brackets and back to the sentence that I'd just started, which to save you going back, reads, "I have no idea of Morrissey's recording patterns"), but he tends to drop into the Twit Arms late in the afternoons, lately in the guise of Astraea (@fadinggoldleaf), looking distinctly like Gina Lollobrigida.... well he would, wouldn't he..... although actually, the doubters would of course scream, "It CAN'T be Morrissey! Do you really think Morrissey would turn up on twitter with a profile picture of Gina Lollobrigida, pretending to be a girl?" Er, YES, I would, and he HAS!




And on the subject of the doubters, the Morrissey blogger, Julie Hamill tweeted this morning to all four members of the Smiths, to say 'Happy debut album birthday' (It is 30 years ago today that 'The Smiths' LP was released). I pointed out to Julie that the twitter address that she had used for Morrissey (@itsmorrissey) was no longer used by him, and that she should contact @FadingGoldLeaf. Julie ignored my advice, but with great authority announced:

Julie Hamill ‏@JulieHamill  6h

@TheRatsBack@itsmorrissey@FadingGoldLeaf he doesn't tweet, but he looks.

What makes all these people think they KNOW what Morrissey does or doesn't do? HOW can Julie possibly KNOW that Morrissey 'looks' ? It really is incredible!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Astraea and the daily pub visits. Actually, before I get back to that, I must mention a tweet from the 'Morrissey 25 Live' director, James Russell. Earlier today, he tweeted Noel Gallagher to congratulate Noel on his "nice threads". I tweeted JR to point out the Blue Rose on Noel's lapel. JR suggested that perhaps it was "footy related", but then followed it up with:

JamesRussellDirector ‏@JamesRussellMCD  27m

@TheRatsBack whOo knows eh?

I know "whOo knows", James bloody Russell knows, as does Noel bloody Gallagher, Rustle bloody Brand, Jonathan bloody Ross and God knows whOo else. They ALL bloody knOw! :

THEY KNOW..... THEY ALL BLOODY KNOW!

Right, back to Morrissey and his jaunts to the Twitterdilly Arms. It's funny, because whenever 'Parody Morrissey' or 'Broken Morrissey' make a visit to The Arms, I always report what they have said, mainly because they are being witty, controversial, or giving clues regarding MorrisseysWorld, but I never really make mention of Astraea's offerings, when in fact she has SO much to offer. Astraea, and in fact Fifi, are Morrissey's gentle pessoa's, his more feminine side, so from now on, I shall report on the visits of both Astraea and Fifi, to the Internet's Number 1 Morrissey theme pub.

Astraea usually sits near the jukebox, sipping champagne, and conversing with Willow (@smashingblouse7). Despite the fact that I have mentioned many times that I believe Astraea to be Moz, hardly anybody interacts with her, and in fact, she only has 76 followers. Morrissey is on twitter, and has 76 followers! Perhaps I am wrong, perhaps Astraea ISN'T Morrissey, but for now, I shall report her offerings, which are mainly musical offerings. Here are yesterday's highlights:

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

"Don't say anything, especially not... anything. Don't say anything,...just follow me..."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmIUjMZKlGQ …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmIUjMZKlGQ (NE DIS RIEN - SERGE GAINSBOURG & ANNA KARINA. It is a mesmerizing video, so I would highly recommend watching.)

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

"Don’t say - anything. Don’t be - scared. Just follow me to the end of the night, to the end of my madness...let time forget about tomorrow"

SERGE AND ANNA.... IT'S ALL ABOUT THE EYES

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

Steve, you really have such lovely... arms. pic.twitter.com/CUaDLPgQNy

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

What's that, Steve? You don't want to come in because you're not dressed yet? Don't be silly! Step right this way... pic.twitter.com/1EJQvlpijp

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

They say nice things come in threes, so... pic.twitter.com/sRLcW8XnC2

STEVE MCQUEEN

I have to say, Astraea certainly has better taste in men than Broken, although I suppose Broken does at least fancy men who are still alive, whereas Astraea does tend to go for the older, deader type!

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

@TheRatsBack I'm always either where I'm unexpected, unrequired, or generally just not supposed to be. It's a special talent I cultivate.

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

Eno. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7BDS19H9OM …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7BDS19H9OM (DEAD FINKS DON'T TALK - BRIAN ENO. Needless to say, I have never heard this song before, nor indeed ANY Brian Eno. I sometimes wonder if I really am a lover of pop music. I have been SO...... un-inquisitive! My music education continues.)


BRIAN ENO

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

@TheRatsBack And I know you said you want to live in France in 1961...but I think you might have liked 1967 as well. It's quite beautiful. At the very end, in her sadness she whispers, "I am the only one who always remains... alone..."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9uNAtG-tfk …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9uNAtG-tfk (ROLLER GIRL - SERGE GAINSBOURG & ANNA KARINA)

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

@smashingblouse7@TheRatsBack This song from the film is incredibly beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bW-sqHZF28 (UN JOUR COMME UN AUTRE - ANNA KARINA)

Astraea ‏@FadingGoldLeaf  Feb 19

@TheRatsBack These are the things I am attracted to. They have reeled me in, my entire life long. I don't know anything else.

That is pretty much it for today. I doubt the 30th anniversary of the release of 'The Smiths' has meant much to Moz, although perhaps he might just look in the mirror tonight, raise his glass of champagne, and say, "You've done alright kiddo."








*Goes off singing* Fifteen minutes with YOU, wellllll, I wouldn't say no.

Day 894 - All Quiet

February 24, 2014, 9:42 am

≫ Next: Day 895 - Twitterdilly Arms Top 10

≪ Previous: Day 890 - Noel's Blue Rose

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All is quiet on the Moz front, with no sign of Parody Moz, Broken, Greyer Girl or Fifi  in The Twitterdilly Arms over the weekend, although there was a very brief visit from Astraea last night, but the mysterious Willow (@SmashingBlouse7) is doing her upmost to convince me that Astraea is NOT Moz!

The mysterious Willow is also trying to convince me that Astraea is staying away from the Twit Arms because of all the extra followers that she is attracting as a result of my deluded insistence that she is Moz, but Willow's theory doesn't quite ring true, because I have been deludedly insisting that Astraea is Morrissey for a very long time now, but NOBODY believes me, and even since my latest mentioning of Astraea being Morrissey in my last blog entry, the 'extra followers' theory still doesn't add up, because Astraea's follower numbers have actually GONE DOWN!


ASTRAEA - WHOSE TWITTER AVITAR IS GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA. I SHOULD POINT OUT THAT I DON'T FOR ONE MINUTE BELIEVE THAT ASTRAEA IS THE REAL GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA, NOT EVEN I'M THAT DELUDED.

I have no idea why the mysterious Willow is so keen to convince me that Astraea isn't Morrissey, but the relationship between the mysterious Willow and Astraea is almost sisterly, which makes me more convinced than ever that they know each other. From the moment the mysterious Willow turned up in the Twit Arms a few weeks ago, she immediately bonded with both Astraea and Fifi, and the relationship is perfectly balanced, which makes me believe that Willow is not just a friend, but a VERY close friend of Morrissey's. The fact that the mysterious Willow also has incredibly good music taste would leave me to believe she is somebody like Linder Sterling, but of course I really have NO idea, and will probably never find out.


LINDER STERLING - JANUARY 2014. PHOTO AND COPYRIGHT JIM WILEMAN


LINDER 'WILLOW?' STERLING IN HER HUNTER WELLIES ON A BEACH IN CORNWALL - PHOTO & COPYRIGHT JIM WILEMAN (SEE A NUMBER OF OTHER GREAT NEW LINDER PHOTOS HERE: http://jimwileman.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/linder-sterling-north-devon-portrait-photographer/)


The 'not knowing' throughout this whole MorriseysWorld adventure has been part of the intrigue, although at times it can make all of us both frustrated and paranoid, after all, look what happened the other week to Marcus; he almost seemed to take leave of his senses as he hounded me in the belief that I was Broken. The anonymity of the internet can play hideous tricks on the brain! Astraea didn't stop to chat or play any songs on the Twit Arms jukebox, but her sister in crime (the mysterious Willow) played many great songs, and more than made up for frustrating behaviour by posting this poster on the walls of the Twit Arms:








BRIGITTE, OH BRIGITTE

The only other two things of interest to come from Twitter this weekend were a photo of Moz posted by Nancy Sinatra, and the announcement that the Bestival headliner will be announced tonight at 7pm, although I now realise that it DEFINITELY won't be Morrissey, as A) Morrissey himself has told me that negotiations reached a dead end, B) There has been NO mention/rumour ANYWHERE of Morrissey playing Bestival (except here!) and C) There is NO C!

Nancy Sinatra ‏@NancySinatra  Feb 22

Morrissey, "Sunny" and me. Photography by the beautiful & talented Amanda. @akerlingerpic.twitter.com/r1zw57pd3T

MORRISSEY, NANCY AND SUNNY

In the interests of fair play, it is only right that having posted fleshy pictures of both Gina and Brigitte, I post one of Nancy. I could post one of her unbelievable 1995 Playboy shoot (which I have never of course seen), but instead, here is a little something from the sixties:


OH NANCY

And as I am being so fair, it is only right and proper that Linder also gets the fleshy treatment.... sort of:


OH LINDER


Now, where was I? Oh yes, Bestival, which Morrissey DEFINITELY isn't going to headline:


SUNDAY HEADLINER TO BE ANNOUNCED AT 7PM TODAY, WHICH DEFINITELY WON'T BE MORRISSEY

It is probably just as well that Morrissey wasn't propping up the bar of The Twitterdilly Arms at the weekend, as I was extremely busy. On Saturday, I made a rare departure from my bedsit, and headed to London with my eldest son to watch Chelsea play Everton. I used to go and watch football every week, and held a season ticket for many years at Fratton Park, the home of Pompey, but in 2010 my football team died, and so did my love of professional football.

My visit to Stamford Bridge on Saturday was only the second game of professional football that I had attended in four years, and as we arrived at Fulham Broadway tube station, I was suddenly reminded by a carriage full of drunk Everton fans, what I had missed; as they broke into song, singing (to the tune of Human League's Don't You Want Me), "Fulham Broadway baby, Fulham Broadway, oh oh oh." Such meaningless little simple things.


FANS AT FULHAM BROADWAY BABY, FULHAM BROADWAY, OH OH OH

As we arrived at the ground, I was reminded again of what I had missed, as I breathed in the 'buzz of anticipation' that surrounds a football stadium. The only other times I ever get this feeling, is when I attend a concert, particularly a Morrissey concert.

At the match itself, despite not being a Chelsea or Everton fan, I sang my heart out, and was reminded yet again of why I used to love football so much. I could have been singing anything, but it was the act of singing in public with complete unabated freedom that I enjoyed so much. It just makes you feel alive, and to sing in unison with thousands of other people is just an unbelievably GOOD feeling. After four years, I think I can safely say I have fallen back in love, not with Chelsea, but with football. I don't need to pin myself to one particular team, it is the 'event' I have missed, NOT a team.






CHELSEA SCORE THE WINNING GOAL IN THE 94TH MINUTE OF A 90 MINUTE GAME!












THE FANS HEAD HOME


Apart from the Scouse wit, unison singing, buzz of anticipation, and perfect day out with my eldest son, the other highlight of my weekend came from a very funny anonymous comment that was posted on the Morrissey Solow website. I very rarely visit Solow these days, but I occasionally have a look, just to see if anybody has discovered anything interesting. Over the weekend, Solow had posted a 'nothing' story from the NME, quoting Morrissey's former producer Stephen Street as saying that he doesn't believe that the Smiths will ever reform (yawn). In response to the nothing story, our old friend Uncle Skinny wrote:

Don't care what anyone says. If it ever happens, I'm quitting whatever I'm doing to be at the front of the queue.

P.


In response to Uncle Skinny's comment, an anonymous commenter humorously posted something along the lines of, "No you wouldn't, you've not got it in you. You would be stood at the back with the rest of your Northern friends trying to play it cool." I can't use the exact quote, because despite Skinny's insistence that NOTHING gets deleted from Solow because of their 'freedom of speech' policy, he deleted it!


Sometimes the truth is far too much to bear, and although the 'Northern' comment was unnecessary (Southern men are no different), the anonymous commenter was of course right, Skinny wouldn't act like an excited puppy, he wouldn't be anywhere near the front of any queue, because he, just like most other British men, would be far too reserved. In our heads, we are all poets, romantics and lovers, but most of us never let the real 'us' out, we live the life that we feel is 'expected' of us. We behave in a way that we believe we should behave. The life we would like to live usually stays within the compounds of the mind. It is only in very recent years that I have learnt to let go. Writing this blog has proven highly therapeutic for me, and the whole MorrisseysWorld and Blue Rose phenomenon has allowed me to be..... me..... and if the Smiths were ever to reform, which personally I have no desire for, I would be at the front of the queue, but then again, I will be at the front of the queue for any concerts that Morrissey happens to play near me this year, but rather than playing it cool, I will have a blue rose between my teeth, and will unashamedly behave like an excited puppy.





That will do for today, I will now carry on re-building my music collection, which I have to say, is proving to be very enjoyable. My thanks to everybody, particularly the mysterious Willow, Astraea and anon from my last blog entry, who are all feeding me with wonderful songs. I  can't stop playing Dead Finks Don't Talk by Brian Eno, and Five Years by Bowie is just.... JUST! I am also REALLY loving Billy Fury, Serge Gainsbourg, Wanda Jackson, Nico (particularly I Will Be Seven), Juliette Greco and Permanently Lonely by Timi Yuro, which is just the saddest song EVER.... and is currently on repeat!

And finally, finally, having announced that I am back in love with football, and am back in love with my music collection, I must also announce that; having caught a glimpse of Top Gear on tv last night, I think I might be falling back in love with cars, well, one particular car at any rate. Eight years ago, as I hit forty, I fell out of love with cars, mainly because my children could no longer fit in the rear of my V12 Aston Martin DB7 Volante, so I was forced to sell it and become a sensible parent.


DB7 - NOT CHILD FRIENDLY


Actually, going back to the whole 'British male' thing, it is a combination of children and hitting forty that really change the British man. The phrase 'life begins at forty' is CRAP. Forty is a horrible age. In our twenties and thirties we have drive and ambition, but at forty we start to run out of steam, drive and ambition. I have really struggled with my forties, but as I approach fifty, I am finally starting to re-find my identity. Anyway, I am completely starting to digress and waffle. It's just as well nobody reads this rubbish. The point I was going to make was that last night, on Top Gear, my passion for cars was re-ignited by this, the Alfa Romeo Disco Volante (Italian for Flying Saucer):


ALFA ROMEO DISCO VOLANTE - STUNNING

Why I am writing about football and cars, I really don't know. It's because there is no sign of Moz. I won't bother writing again unless The Mozziah returns, so I shall leave with a picture of Uncle Skinny at the front of the queue for the Smiths. Actually, he wouldn't queue himself, he would find some other numpty to queue for him:
THAT MAN QUEING FOR THE SMITHS COME BACK CONCERT - HE HATES MORRISSEY, AND YET RUNS A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO HIS SOLO WORK.....YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP

Day 895 - Twitterdilly Arms Top 10

February 25, 2014, 7:32 am

≫ Next: Day 896 - Chris the Wonder-kid

≪ Previous: Day 894 - All Quiet

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TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 10 - BROADCAST TODAY AT 2.50 PM IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS TO AN AUDIENCE OF TWO; WILLOW AND ASTRAEA.



1. FIVE YEARS - DAVID BOWIE (UP 1): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=louXPUW7tHU





2. WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE - LITTLE JIMMY SCOTT (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaQYtdk1Tko




3. DEAD FINKS DON'T TALK - BRIAN ENO (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7BDS19H9OM

ENO - THE ORIGINAL LOG LADY?


4. PERMANENTLY LONELY - TIMI YURO (UP 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeU_yf-rQL8





5. UN JOUR COMME UN AUTRE - ANNA KARINA (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bW-sqHZF28




6. WHY WAS I BORN? - LITTLE JIMMY SCOTT (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew_ON0uPTMs




7. LA JAVANAISE - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzusP8AeEyc




8. MALADJUSTED - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBORqna0VhM




9. NE DIS RIEN - SERGE GAINSBOURG & ANNA KARINA (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmIUjMZKlGQ



10. ROLLER GIRL - SERGE GAINSBOURG & ANNA KARINA (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9uNAtG-tfk

Day 896 - Chris the Wonder-kid

February 26, 2014, 9:57 am

≫ Next: Day 898 - I will be seven

≪ Previous: Day 895 - Twitterdilly Arms Top 10

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This morning I made myself late for work because I HAD to play Morrissey's version of Bowie's Drive-In Saturday.





























I will explain WHY I had to play this record later on, but first, I have news to report from the Twitterdilly Arms; first of all, Parody Moz apparently made an appearance yesterday, and secondly, Astraea has gone!

The reason I have written 'apparently', is because by the time I sauntered into the 'World's Number 1 Online Morrissey Theme Pub', Parody Moz (and all traces of his twit account) had once again disappeared, and the only reason I was even aware that he had been in, were the remnants of conversations that various people had had with him. I have since learnt from my sources (Heather!), that Moz was only around for a very short period of time, but he mentioned that the new album recalls The Queen is Dead, and that he expects it to chart at Number 2 in the UK, and Number 7 in Australia!

Bearing in mind that Morrissey's highest ever chart position in Australia is Number 12, with Your Arsenal, I would guess that it is fair to say, he is in an optimistic mood. And on the subject of Your Arsenal, the reissue/remaster came out on Monday, although I have to admit, I haven't yet bought it, mainly because there doesn't seem to be enough difference from the original (which there was with Kill Uncle). Is there enough difference?


YOUR ARSENAL - REISSUED. MORRISSEY'S MOST SUCCESSFUL RECORD DOWN UNDER

I expect I shall buy the new Your Arsenal, if nothing else than for the bonus DVD of a 1991 concert from the Shoreline Amphitheatre:


MORRISSEY SINGING AT SHORELINE IN 1991

And on the subject of concerts in California, this billboard has recently gone up, although according to True-To-You, the concert (along with a number of others) has ALREADY sold out!:







And on the subject of concerts with legendary supporting artists, Sir Cliff Richard has been very keen to stress that he was joking when he previously mentioned meat eating in relation to his Morrissey concert. He has now stated, "I made a joke of it", and has blamed the press for twisting his words. Hmm. Cliff has also stated that he and Morrissey have never met, although previously Cliff had stated that they met in a hotel in Kent in 2011. You just don't know what to believe with Sir Cliff. Perhaps Alzheimer's is setting in. It would be dreadful if Cliff were to walk on stage in New York and sing, "When I was young la la la la la".


CLIFF - JOKER

And on the subject of Alzheimer's...... no, I can't do it! I would dearly love to now write about a hilarious exchange of emails that I had this morning with Morrissey (which included something about Alzheimer's), but I can't. As I have previously written, Morrissey emailed me a few weeks ago, under the guise of Fifi, and we have continued to exchange fairly regular emails ever since, with Morrissey's words being incredibly witty and sharp, and mine being particularly sycophantic and dull. He has even sent me the odd (odd as in occasional, not strange, although actually, they are quite strange too) photograph of the place he is currently staying. I really wish that I could share Morrissey's emails here, in my online diary, but I just don't think I should.

I suppose to a certain extent, the dynamics of my blog have now changed, in that it is no longer a case of me thinking it might be Morrissey behind the whole MorrisseysWorld phenomenon, I now KNOW it is him, although, in truth, I knew it was him from the very beginning, and I DEFINITELY knew it was him when he quoted "toothbrush" last January. The main difference now, is that I believe (deludedly, of course) that Morrissey and I have become friends, so I can no longer just publish anything and everything, I have to think about what I share..... but I may perhaps share the odd one liner from those emails, after all, they are just too good not to share.... and after all, it isn't really him, is it!

Many people reading this will presume that I am once again behaving like a fantasising bullshitter, and to be honest, that suits me just fine, and in fact, it adds to the fun of this whole journey, and WHAT a journey it has been. Over the past two and a half years, so much has happened, and so much has changed, particularly the personnel in the Twitterdilly Arms. So few of the initial crowd are still around, with the only constants who have truly believed and been around ALL the way through, being EARS, Heather, myself and Loughton Lil. MancLad, Lizzy Cat and Girl Without have stayed with it, although not always with full belief, and MANY others are still lingering and watching, but again without conviction.


THE OLD GUARD OF THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS: L TO R: LOUHGHTON, MANCLAD, ME, HEATHER, EARS AND GWO

But let's put aside the old guard and MorrisseysWorld, it is time to concentrate on the Blue Rose Society and the future. Blue Rose members continue to swell, and the BLUE ROSE SOCIETY is set to grow and grow as the US concerts approach. This year, the BRS will REALLY take off. The two latest recruits are Nicole (@Bunnygal833), who latched on to the end of yesterday's chart countdown, and Jack Shet (@TheeOtherBill), who describes himself in his Twitter profile as a "retired rockabilly god", and has already tweeted his ideas on how to smuggle roses into the concert venues. Jack is going to the concerts at Atlantic City and Hershey. This is going to be a fun year for the BRS.

JACK SHET - LATEST BRS MEMBER, AND RETIRED ROCKABILLY GOD


I've somehow managed to completely side track myself. Today's blog was supposed to be about Parody Moz's appearance in the Twit Arms, and Drive-In Saturday. I really shouldn't let my mind wander, it is most unprofessional, and I am a professional blogger, although as professions go, the pay is shit.... but the rewards are worth more than money could buy. Let me get out of this current paragraph and back on track.


Parody Moz apparently also re-tweeted two old tweets from drummer Matt Walker yesterday, which I am told are these from 2012:

matthew walker ‏@mwBATTERY  12 May 2012

things are weird and getting weirder.

matthew walker ‏@mwBATTERY  5 Jun 2012

just posted a statement on morrissey-solo...not really possible to sum it all up but it's a start.

A MATT WALKER SELFIE FROM TWITTER - NOT RETWEETED BY THE MOZ

I have no idea why Moz chose to retweet those two Walker tweets, but I would guess that he has been pulling Matt's leg about them. I would also guess that initially the whole MorrisseysWorld 'thing' was Morrissey's own private joke, but now, all his band members are aware of it.

Astraea's departure from the Twit Arms has left a huge hole, and the BRS are already in mourning. Hopefully it will only be a temporary departure. Before leaving, Astraea posted me a photo of an unsmiling Serge Gainsbourg with Brigitte Bardot. The unsmiling photos of Gainsbourg are by far the best. He looks far more french when he isn't smiling. Gainsbourg is a man who looks as though he should have had a cigarette permanently hanging from his mouth..... actually, I think he did, which is probably why he died at just 62. Here is the photo Astraea posted, along with a couple of other photos that I have chosen to post for no reason other than I like them:





BRIGITTE & SERGE

JANE BIRKIN AND BRIGITTE.... OH SERGE, YOU LUCKY, LUCKY MAN


GAINSBOURG (SLIGHTLY SMILING.... BUT COMPENSATED BY THE CIGARETTE) AND BIRKIN

And now to Drive-In Saturday. As I rebuild my music collection; which by the way, has greatly benefitted from yesterday's introduction by a new FTM contributor called 'CC' to 'Little Jimmy Scott', who has INSTANTLY become my new 'on repeat' singer, with the two songs that I placed in yesterday's Twit Arms Top 10 being my particular favourites.... although I have plenty more to yet discover..... this sentence is becoming very long and is full of commas, where was I? Oh yes:

As I rebuild my music collection, I have been listening to a LOT of Bowie, and I have to admit, that at LAST, I am getting him. 'Five Years' is just the most perfect song ever, and as I listen to each Bowie song and album, I feel compelled to use Wikipedia as my guide. It is ALL so fascinating, and something that in 1972, I couldn't possibly have hoped to understand.

Anyway, this morning, as I sat in bed watching the last ever performance of Ziggy Stardust at Hammersmith Odeon on Youtube (FROM 1973), I suddenly had this urge to try and find out why Morrissey had particularly chosen to cover Bowie's 'Drive-In Saturday'. I firstly listened to Bowie's version, which is SU 'FUCKING' PERB, and then I watched/listened to Morrissey's version, which if I am honest, I hadn't really paid much attention to before, but now, having finally found out what it is about, I realise not only do I LOVE it, but it has slightly different words to Bowie's version. I immediatley leapt out of bed, grabbed my Mozipedia, and quickly realised that, just as with 'Jeane', it DIDN'T have the answers! Simon Goddard quite rightly notices that Moz sings "Chris the wonder-kid" instead of "Twig the wonder-kid", but he is unable to tell me why!


My own thought is that "Chris the wonder-kid" is Chrissie Hynde, but of course, it is just a guess. I think the only reason I particularly have Chrissie on my mind, is because yesterday, I was playing some old vinyl on my Dansette Conquest, and one of the records I played was the brilliant 'b' side to 'Kid' (wonder kid?), a song called 'Tattooed Love Boys':













FROM THE RAT COLLECTION - WITH A BAD CASE OF RING WEAR

So, does anybody know who Chris the Wonder-kid is? Fifi, are you still with us? Can you enlighten me?


(And just for good measure, here is the mesmerising last song from that Hammersmith Odeon concert, where Bowie announces the end of Ziggy, before singing my NEW favourite song, 'Rock n Roll Suicide'. Note that somebody manages to jump on stage right at the end and hug DB. It is ALL so Moz like.... but would Bowie fans STILL try to stage invade, like we Moz fans do?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLZNBbxJ2xo)

And finally Esther, and finally Cyril, Morrissey will NOT be playing Bestival this year, as I may have previously mentioned, the headliner is.... Nile Rogers! Hold on, that means that Fifi must be Nile, and NOT Morrissey! I'm getting emails from Nile fuc**ng Rogers! Actually, let me re-write Fifi's actual words regarding Bestival, "drop your anchor at the Isle, make your way to Robin Hill. Johnny Marr will be there, I will be there and maybe good old friends will be there too." Fifi never actually said Moz would be playing at Bestival, but perhaps he WILL be there!

Goodnight.

*Goes off singing* A good time was guaranteed for one and all, the tattoos did target practice in the hall while waiting, for their number to get called out, I, I, I found out what the wait was about.

Day 898 - I will be seven

February 28, 2014, 1:04 pm

≫ Next: Day 899 - I will be twenty

≪ Previous: Day 896 - Chris the Wonder-kid

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Now, today's blog was going to be about a variety of subjects, including; the return to the Twitterdilly Arms of both Broken and Astraea, Beck's new album, Morrissey winning an NME award for Autobiography, my purchase of Your Arsenal, Fifi's comment regarding 'Chris the wonder-kid', my latest emails from Morrissey, Ganglord, the return to FTM of Fancy123, Kristeen Young's new LP, and a new Morrissey interview, but a discovery this morning has sent me off on a rather exciting tangent, which although isn't news as such, I feel that I just HAVE to write about it.

Before I get stuck in to my 'exciting tangent', I MUST firstly report that for the past two evenings, the rock genius and best selling author, Morr-ee-say, has logged onto twitter, has then invited his fans to join him in the MorrisseysWorld chat room that he created especially for his fans, and then sat in the said room, alone, as his fans ignored him! You could NOT make this up!


ALONE AGAIN.... NATURALLY

The pessoa that Morr-ee-say had chosen to use in the chat room, was that of Broken, which is perhaps why his fans ignored him. Broken is basically a Bieber loving homosexual of high intelligence, who likes a bit of an argument, but it is STILL Morrissey, and Broken is a human being, so WHY did Morrissey's fans ignore him?

In fairness, Lizzycatmoz entered the chat room, but she left virtually straight away, even though I guess Morrissey was going to try and help her see why she had misread 'Gobgate' so badly. (Note for anybody new to this blog, 'Gobgate' was a bit of a falling out amongst the Blue Rose Society members a few weeks ago. You can find details in my old blog entries.) Lizzy just CANNOT see that Broken IS Morrissey:

Lizzycatmoz27 February 2014 15:15

I would have been happy to chat with Morrissey last night, instead it was Broken
who started going back over old ground. Hence my decision to leave.

I was unable to join Broken as I was out and about all day yesterday, but I eventually logged in just to say a quick hello. I am embarrassed for my fellow BRS members, so I will shout this out again, MORRISSEY IS BEHIND THE CHARACTER BROKEN, IE @BROKEN1ANDONLY, but don't try and engage him as 'Morrissey the pop star', because he ISN'T Morrissey the pop star. Does this make sense? Well, it certainly doesn't to Lizzy.

Unfortunately I haven't got time to post all of Broken's tweets, but I MUST mention one, which had me laughing my little rat socks off. Broken had spotted a tweet from @bbceastenders with the below photo of Max Branning, and Broken tweeted, "Why does William Hague look so worried?"





WILLIAM HAGUE

And now to Fifi, who made a welcome return to FTM with the following reply to my question about 'Chris the wonder-kid':

Anonymous26 February 2014 21:32

Interesting new post, Rat.
I have a slightly different theory regarding "Chris" but I like the idea it might be Chrissie too.

Did you know Bowie originally wrote the song for Mott The Hoople? They never released it (therefore he shaved his eyebrows off) but they did release "All the young dudes" which was their biggest success.

Heather, the quote about TQID is accurate as far as I remember. Although my twitter account is not active anymore, I was having an impromptu Babycham at The Arms when Parody showed up. What are the odds!

I miss you all little charmers, I will be back soon. You are every day on my mind.

Welcome to the new members. Enjoy the journey. We all do.

Fifi

Fifi, PLEASE don't leave us in the dark, will you share your theory?

Right, I need to get to the 'exciting tangent', otherwise I will be here all day and night..... but first, I really DO want to mention the new Beck album, 'Morning Phase'. I wasn't even aware that Beck had a new album out, but as I lay in bed this morning, reading that the re-issue of Your Arsenal is at Number 32 in the midweek chart, I noticed that Beck is Number 1 in the midweek, and therefore heading for Number 1 this Sunday. I am not particularly a big Beck fan, although I LOVE Loser, and also purchased his album Odelay, which is excellent,  but the reason I am mentioning this new album is A) It is Beck's first release for Capitol, which bodes well for Moz and B) Having listened briefly to the album on iTunes, it sounds FANTASTIC.

MORNING PHASE BY BECK. NEW TO CAPITOL AND ALSO AVAILABLE ON VINYL

I didn't want to download Beck's album, so I rushed to Tesco first this morning to buy it on cd. I appreciate that Tesco is not very glamorous, but it is now the ONLY shop that sells cds in my town. There is of course NO retail outlook in this pathetic county of mine that sells vinyl, but at least I can still buy cds..... except I CAN'T, because despite Beck heading for Number 1 this weekend, Tesco doesn't stock it! I have now ordered the album online, which is what I have also had to do for Kristeen Young's new album, and what I  also had to do for Your Arsenal. No shops selling music.....we live in one FUCKED UP WORLD!


KRISTEEN YOUNG - THE KNIFE SHIFT IS BEING PRODUCED BY TONI VISCONTI. GUITARS BY BOZ BOORER. DRUMS BY DAVE THINGY FROM THE FOO FIGHTERS. RELEASED IN MAY

I have so far managed to cover most topics that I intended to, but Astraea'a return, Ganglord, my emails from Moz, the return of Fancy123 and the NME award for Autobiography will have to wait until next week. I am unable to blog again until Tuesday at the earliest, so by then, I expect we will have moved on to pastures new, but if somebody prods me, I will try and remember to mention all of the above.

It is the topic of Morrissey's new interview with Billboard.com that led me on my 'exciting tangent'. I won't post the whole interview, which is an email interview conducted by somebody calling themselves M. Tye Corner (tuts to self), but I can report that Moz is on TOP form. The interviewer has written a little pre-amble to the interview, which starts with the dreadful, "Heaven knows Morrissey was miserable for much of 2013." GIVE ME STRENGTH! Morrissey's very first answer made me HOWL with laughter:

Billboard: Hi Morrissey. Thanks for taking time for us. Where are you right now?
Moz: I'm in France recording a new album. But surely you'd rather discuss the Smiths?

 Billboard: Your autobiography became an international best-seller and is being translated into 14 languages. How surprised were you by its success?
Moz: I felt a bit rash hoping for a no.7 position, so when it came in at no.1 and stayed there for five weeks... I was breathless. It's sold more than I ever imagined.

NUMBER 7!!! What was it that Parody Moz last mentioned on twitter? The number 7! What Nico song did I mention in my blog of Monday? 'I am Seven'! Coincidences, of course, but as the interview went on, so did the coincidences, as pointed out by this anonymous commenter on my last blog entry:

Anonymous27 February 2014 22:59

"Prince recently revealed that he’s an exceptional ping-pong player. What surprising, secret talent do you have?

I'm an exceptional ping-pong player.

What did you wake up worrying about today?

Ukraine. Why do news reporters call the people 'protestors'? They are the people! It's the government who are the rebels. Silly world, isn't it?

Lastly, what's one piece of advice you wish someone had given you in 1984?

You should always judge a book by its cover."

he finishes with 3 direct mw quotes!

I have to admit, I don't actually remember when MoorrisseysWorld mentioned the above three quotes about ping-pong, people protestors or judging a book by the cover, but it is the subject of ping-pong that led me to a posting on Morrissey-Solo.com (Solow) headed, 'Johnny Marr gig report at the Night & Day Cafe (Sep. 29); set list included 5 Smiths songs'.



NIGHT & DAY - A PUB IN MANCHESTER, AND THE VENUE OF A JOHNNY MARR GIG ON SEPTEMBER 29TH 2011

The Solow article is from September 30th 2011. The reason that the google search of 'Morrissey ping pong' led me to this article, is because an anonymous user on Solow used the words "ping-pong vagary" and "Morrissey" in the same sentence. This anonymous user signs themselves off as 'we'll let you know', which immediately got my attention, because I suddenly remembered that I had read comments from this 'anon' commentator before, and I also remembered thinking that 'we'll let you know'might be Morrissey!

Having been led to this Solow article, and seeing that 'we'll let you know' was the author, I felt compelled to read the whole Solow posting of the Johnny Marr gig at the Night & Day Cafe, and OH MY GOD, WHAT a discovery!

There are a total of 130 comments, so I can't post it all, but I will post the comments of the anon who signs himself/herself as 'we'll let you know', as well as some comments from some 'other' users in the same thread. I'll start with our old friend Uncle Skinny, the moderator from Morrissey-Solo.com. Skinny's first act is to run straight to Johnny's defence when the very first (anonymous) comment on the thread points out that Johnny "int no front man":

Skinny: Give the guy a break, It's his first gig singing in ages, playing songs he hasn't played live for 25 years. I'll be up the front next week cheering like a mad bastard.
P.


P.

I wonder if Skinny really did go up front the following week, or did he not have it in him? Anyway, this isn't about Skinny, so let me move on. Actually, one of the next comments is ALSO from Skinny, who once again sees his role as 'Chief Johnny Defender', even though he can't actually spell Johnny's name correctly! It's a shame Skinny has never shown such loyalty to Morrissey on the website entitled 'Morrissey-Solo', but that's another story.

Anyway, here is Skinny jumping to JM's defence against another 'anon', who is posting in a foreign accent (and yes, that is possible!). I would go as far to say (having read the whole thread), that the 'anon' with the foreign accent is playing the role of a 'Parody Jesse Tobias'. Skinny happens to KNOW that this 'anon' is the same person as the first 'anon', because of the IP address, although I should point out that when I once had a 'discussion' with Skinny on Solow, he TOLD me that he KNEW I was in Ely in Cambridgeshire (based on my IP), although I have NEVER set foot in Ely EVER! Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked again. Here is Anon/Parody Jesse, followed by Skinny:


Anon: Dear son, this marr performance is patetic. I feell sorry for him, he didn't put one, not one even mediocre song post The Smiths (apart short solo in PSB song "My October Symphony" - it is rather decent attempt of 30 seconds 20 or so years ago) AND NOW THIS???!!! How deplorable performance, so heartless, so battered. Now we see how strong Morrissey and his band are live, they kick the shit out of this marr hobos. Mozz and co. look like Man on stage, marr and co. look like pussy's. And another thing, this patetic hair dye; is he, marr, gay or what?

Skinny: Well, that's very interesting since you were the same poster who slagged Johnny off in the first response to this thread. You must really hate him. And you'd be in the minority here.
Because Johny is my GOD.
P.


JOHNNY (JOHNY) MARR - GOD TO UNCLE SKINNY AND GODLIKE GENIUS TO THE NME IN 2013, ALTHOUGH FOR 2014 HE HAS BEEN REPLACED BY:


DEBBIE HARRY - GODLIKE GENIUS 2014 (THE AWARD WAS ACTUALLY AWARDED TO BLONDIE, BUT LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES HERE, IT IS ABOUT THE LEAD SINGER, IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THE LEAD SINGER!


Now, I may be completely and utterly wrong, but something is telling me that the anonymous Solow commentator pretending to be a parody Jesse might, and I do mean might, have been....... Morrissey! I just can't help feeling that Morrissey, having watched the Youtube footage of Johnny Marr absolutely MURDERING the hallowed words to the Smiths songs at the Day & Night Cafe, felt compelled to tell the TRUTH about Marr's career, but would NEVER be so cruel as to do it as himself.  The poor spelling and grammar make the postings HILARIOUS, but virtually all of the words written by  Anon/Parody Jesse ARE the truth. 

As I say,  I may be completely and utterly wrong, but as you read the posts below, try and picture 'anon' as Morrissey pretending to be Jesse, but also see the words as the REAL feelings of an UTTERLY distraught Morrissey, who couldn't quite believe what he had just seen on Youtube (I am presuming that Moz watched it on Youtube, and didn't actually attend the concert? Actually, let me just check back and see if I can find out from my blog entry of that day where Moz was, wait there........ OH MY GOD! The evening of September 29th 2011; the night that Johnny Marr probably dropped to new depths in the mind of Morrissey (if indeed the 'anon'was Morrissey, which I may have got completely wrong), Morrissey was on twitter and was having his first ever interaction with...... ME! Jigsaw, jigsaw, jigsaw. And now I seem to be stuck in some brackets again. Where was I? Oh yes. I had just said "try and picture 'anon' as an UTTERLY distraught Morrissey, who couldn't quite believe what he had just seen on Youtube....").... i.e. Johnny Marr hitting new depths as a performer, and you can almost see the tears in the parody words, as 'anon' writes and links Youtube clips of Marr's career:

Anon:In recent interview Marr is talking how bad he feels on stage, now, these concert evident's that Marr can't play live, also, he's singing is ghastly. Thank you David T to break the myth. Yes, Morrissey is one to see live if you want to experience The Smiths Spirit. Marr should go to PSB and be studio musician for them. They will like his coloured hair.


NATURAL OR DYED?

Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-c7A500Po0
Pet Shop Boys with Marr "My October Symphony" - last time Marr was attached to inspiration AD 1990/91; after, so pity Marr is (and will be)....and yes, Marr never had SPINE to play this solo live, because, let us face it, he is studio musician. Period.

Skinny: I admire your guts. Keep ploughing that lonely furrow.

P.

Anon: Sweet and dear P., lonely is Johnny.
He's song (HE'S SONG!) has no chart, no chart what!so!ever! since he stop serving Morrissey.
Period.

Anon:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4mPq...eature=related

now listen this italo disco crap by marr.
why he didn't play this shit instead of destroying morrissey's brilliant songs??????

(Ed - the above Youtube link no longer works, so I'm not sure what the "italo disco crap" is!)

At this point, 'Chief Johnny Defender' could take it no more, and once again leapt to the defence of his God (who STILL isn't Morrissey, even though Skinny is a moderator on Morrissey-Solo.... but that is STILL another story):

Skinny: Change the tune, dolt, you're making more of a fool of yourself than you already are. P.

Oh if only Skinny knew, and as I continue to write this blog entry, I KNOW I am right, I just KNOW I am, although Morrissey would NEVER admit it, and nor would I ever want or need him too, just as I never want or need him to admit he is behind MorrisseysWorld. The other great thing about posting anonymously, is that you can also post things that you believe/know to be true, without the likelihood of being sued, such as the next offering from 'Anon':


Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BgbvjvAWuY or maybe he, marr, should stay with happy mondays and sniff & snore some more cocktails of heroin & coke to prevent us from this killing, slaughter fantastic morrissey's songs!

(Ed - the above youtube link is of JM telling the story of his 'Happy monday's kidnap'.


A HAPPY MONDAY!


Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKciOAXMxk0
this horror of group has kick out marr, because, according to The Cribs, marr is shit; as person and as musician.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of a song called 'Housewife' by The Cribs, which I have never heard of!)

THE CRIBS.... APPARENTLY!


Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn4j37CX29g
Solid song and solid album from The The, but, marr is just session musician, all songs are made by Matt Johnson. Again, marr is nothing but servant to some other talent.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of 'The Beat(en) Generation' by The The.

Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=068AFYvd58E
he, marr, was working with Talking Heads on their worst album "Naked", TH split after this debacle. According to David Byrne, it was no use from marr because boy just didn't find not one tune during the sessions.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of 'Nothing but Flowers' by Talking Heads.

Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk what the hell?? someone should pay me for listen to this retarded coxcombry!!! well, dear friends, he, marr, was crawling with these insects! as a session creep of course!
DEAR GOD.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of 'Float On' by Modest Mouse

Anon: Electronic did do a number of great songs but, again, the world won't listen:
Getiing Away with It - apparently written about Morrissey - according to Tennant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSfjtdnUsls&ob=av2n 
Get the Mesage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7sVS...feature=relmfu
Forbidden City: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HETySgf-SYs&ob=av2e 
Vivid - terrific harmomica from Marr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9dXWgYKutY&ob=av2e

ELECTRONIC - NOT SLATED BY PARODY JESSE. COINCIDENTALLY, I THINK I AM RIGHT IN THINKING THAT MORRISSEY LIKES THE PET SHOP BOYS

Anon: Now, marr, you are rich, you are respectable, you are exemplar, you are hero, YOU ARE GOD, indeed, you are god even to me.
But. Only because you meet these flaky 22 year old Dorrissey.
Without him, where are you? Just a servant to pop-wretch - another after another after another after another.
Look, LOOK! and be divine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAxpvw4qOZQ

(Ed - the above youtube link is of 'Accept Yourself' by the Smiths.

Anon: And now, when I teached Unckleskinny some pop-history, I'm going off to drink some green tea with jaffa cakes (strawberry injection). Goodnight and thank you!


Now, for those who have been following Our Mozzer through the phenomenal journey of MorrisseysWorld, TELL ME that the above words are NOT Moz! You can't, can you? 





Don't worry, there is more. Parody Jesse returned to the thread:


Anon: Morrissey is Author. Marr is servant. Morrissey was great at Glasto. Marr this days only can play in pubs fool of smoke and nasty sweat. Mozz band is relevant. Marr band is sad bunch of hobos. Tobias can play live. Marr live performance is clumsy at best (just look videos above, he killed his own songs, Christ!). Mozz is clever. Marr is idiot (Jesus, he dare to sing Morrissey's songs with such "voice", even Liam fool of E, Heroin, Coke, booz, and Noel's spit sounds better at 3:00 AM out of some whore's bed after straight 12 hours animal party).


A Solower called 'Last Night I Dream't' then joined in, and just L'OO'K at Parody Jesse's reply, which is not only the 'give away', but will have you in stitches. It's all in the 'Elton':

Last Night I Dream't: Brillant! He looks great for his age!! Just Amazing!! If he comes to my town I will be there. Just a great bloke..I can't say enough nice things about him!! From when I first time I met him in Manchester (he gave me a ride in his car) till at the Cribs show a couple of years he is just such a NICE MAN! Love he is doing Smiths songs!

Anon: Ghastly! He looks awful for his age (look at gay hair dye)! Just patetic!! If he comes to my town, I will run like I run from TV every time Sir Elton John is there. Just a sad bloke.. I can't find enough aversion about him because he destroyed such a good Morrissey songs in this pub on videos above!! From the days of The Smiths (and I love to listen to him and Mozz on my Ipod driving my Vespa scooter) till the fooking Cribs and Modest Rats, he turn to such a SQUALID FIGURE! I hate he is doing Smiths songs so bad!

MODEST MOUSE (APPARENTLY).... CERTAINLY 'NOT' RATS!


Anon: According to Magnet interview, for marr this is "the best song ever made":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAamgOEmXg4
yep, he should die of SHAME.
Since he left Morrissey, he left the style and class in his life. Just hobo.
Period.

(Ed - the above video link no longer works, but it is 'Super Fly Guy' by S-Express)

Anon: And why he didn't play cover of that S-Express junkies instead of killing of Morrissey's songs???????????????????????

By this point, I think Uncle Skinny was a beaten man:

Skinny: Back to work, now. P.

Anon: Sweet and dear P. Current marr is odium; 
He can't dance or sing,
He can't do anything!
But what the hell?
The kid's a looker.

Just add cash and stir
And there you are
Another noncense, non-star
(Da da, da da da da etc.)

There's no pretense, 
This kid is dense
But what the hell?
The kid's a looker

Just add cash and stir
And the crash consumers line up
Shoulder to shoulder.
(La da la da da da etc.)

Sometime through the night
The kid shed his life
So very sad
However do not call this number again
We're busy moulding the face of the kid's replacement, yeah.
(La da da la da etc.) 

BUT, HE'S NOT EVEN LOOKER NOW!


THIS KID IS A LOOKER


Skinny: What the HELL are you talking about? I get the sense that even you don't know. P.

THE ABOVE COMMENT HAS JUST MADE ME CRY WITH LAUGHTER, OH MORRISSEY, I LOVE YOU...... not that any of the above comments really have anything to do with Morrissey, I am completely and utterly deluded. I am a fantasist. I am a bullshitter. Anyway, there is more:

Anon: Dear P. It is clear.
Mozz rocks!
Marr bollocks!

Anon: I'm on the mission.
To teach you solowists.
Fundemental facts of pop.
Why Mozz matters.
And why everyone else don't.
Specialy sad dead indi ex star marr.

At this stage, the anonymous commentator starts to sign off his/her postings as 'we'll let you know', although it could of course be a completely DIFFERENT anonymous commenter, and of course ALL those other previous anonymous postings could be from a dozen different people..... although both 'Parody Jesse' and 'we'll let you know' BOTH mention drinking green tea. A coincidence, nothing more! Ahhh, the beauty of anonymity.


GREEN TEA - THE BEVERAGE OF CHOICE FOR BOTH 'PARODY JESSE' AND 'WE'LL LET YOU KNOW'

Anon: And we know.
The teachers are afraid of the pupils.
But.
This is for the brave ones.
we'll let you know

And, at last, the 'ping-pong' posting that led me here in the first place:

Anon: why marr didn't play that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Le-Uw-dx2o 
ping-pong vagary in this ghastly pub?
why did he butcher morrissey's poetry?
we'll let you know

(Ed- the Youtube link is for 'Atom Rock' by Quando Quango, which JM apparently played on. I personally have never heard of it, but then again, I have never listened to a single song by Modest Mouse or The Cribs!)

Anon: Christ, he could with ease blend this ludism http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Le-Uw-dx2o into his pub set!
Why stab Morrissey's giant genius with that prols on stage?
we'll let you know

Anon: Fair is Fair, he could hitch and jerk with his banjo that tune
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Le-Uw-dx2o 
so why for heaven sake take massacre on Morrissey's sacramental
we'll let you know

Anon: or take this marr prostitution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmE7b3mzzso
with jolly jolly jerky jerky on banjo IN PUB FULL OF PROLS he will replicate baloney flatness of this yowl
so why, why, for dear god sake pickpocket DORRISSEY??????????????????????????????????
we'll let you know

(Ed- the Youtube link is for 'Still Feel the Rain' by Stex, which is apparently ANOTHER song that Marr plays on, and history has forgotten.)


I THINK JOHNNY IS THE ONE ON THE FLOOR!

Anon: my green tea is becoming cold. is this enough (pop-lessons) for you today Uncleskinny?
There is more and more to come Uncleskinny!
we'll let you know

Skinny once again jumped back in, and his comments remind me of Cliff Richard/GOB/Chuck/Lizzy/RosyMires/Hector Lector/Amora/Alex Petridis. Sometimes, people should REALLY, REALLY should stop and think before they write/speak:

Skinny: No, you keep 'em coming, you're doing a great job of looking like a fucking idiot. P.


Anon: but come on, all you can do after this titanic knowledge that i give you is SCOOLBOYINSULT
hm
we'll let you know

Anon: so, i'm proving that no one here, specialy "administrators", like Unckleskinny, know nothing about pop-culture!
well
we'll let you know

Anon: Uncleskinny is a moderator. He likes to be called "P" ever since rap broke in the UK.

At this stage, somebody called Peterb jumped in:

Peterb: All these guest threads are vile, uninformative and I cannot understand what they are trying to say. What is the point? Is it some strategy whose aim is to discredit the site?

Anon: All these threads are noble, very informative and we deeply understand what they are trying to say. The point is clear. It is inteligent strategy whose aim is discredit the illiterate, in pop-culture sense, moderators of the site!
In past 48 hours visitors of this site get more pop-culture informations, assemble Morrissey and The Smiths, then in full decade of spiteful masticate via Morrisseysolow.
more and more is coming
we'll let you know




Anon: You know that all posts considering decay of Johhny Marr are true.
Marr's career is whoring (so he satisfy shallowly with irrelevant).
Mozz career is fighting (so he engage, with highs and lows, constantly).
we'll let you know

Peterb: Jesus Christ guys (I'm referring to you Anonymous Guests) why can't you write proper sentances?
What does 'so he satisfy shallowly with irrelevant' mean?
And what is all the 'we'll let you know' s about?
Why can't you just say what you mean in intelligible language and then others can respond. 
This is called normal decent human behaviour.

Anon: The meaning of "so he satisfy shallowly with irrelavant";
Year 1990.
Marr is working with his hairdresser (yes hairdresser) on this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rib3OXyyreM
His hairdresser is close to happy mondays drug scene so Marr has a wish to stich him self to latest music trend via THAT CRAP!
SO HE SATISFY SHALLOWLY WITH IRRELAVANT!
Showing he is no artist (post The Smiths, or, correctly, post Morrissey), just pop-whore who suck even his drugpul gayish hairdresser to circle pop-worlds margine.
That year, 1990., Morrissey put out one of the best singles EVER in the history of pop-music: November Spawned A Monster.
You get? Mozz is artist, Marr is patetic.
Marr-popwhoredom
Mozz-popkingdom

we'll let you know


(Ed - the above youtube clip is of a song called 'Kiss me Cold' by Andrew Berry. In 4 years, it has had 456 hits. Is this REALLY Johnny's hairdresser, and was Johnny REALLY working on this song?)

Anon: Johnny walked away from his chance to be one of the greats and he will spend the rest of his career trying to capitalize on the memories of fans. He's very, very impressed with himself and his fans seem to enjoy that, but neither he nor they are "cool". 
Thanks, The Management

Anon: Johnny Marr is the absolute king of satisfying shallowly with irrelevant. I get a sort of anticipatory feeling when I encounter anything he's done because I can count on it being satisfying but at the same time I know it's shallow and irrelevant. That's our Johnny and we like him just like he is. 
The Management

Anon: Shallowly solowers
You see, you need higher education.
Now, if you pass literate exam - comprehend: shallowly - try to consume that sluggish marr:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbO7rNAedXY
you see/hear, boy can't play, boy can't sing - boy is no good. Boy is Sad. Boy is Patetic. Listen to that heavy-metal solo. Christ, Tobias is paganini on geeta for poor marr.
Why?
Lack of style, lack of mastership.
Master=Morrissey
we'll let you know

(Ed - the Youtube video is of JM singing with The Pretenders and MURDERING, and I do mean MURDERING the lyrics of Meat is Murder. I had never seen this before. It is NOT for the faint hearted.)

Anon: you are nice
you are kind
you are learning
you need this knowledge
you are waiting for so long
we'll let you know


Anon: darling
you are fidgety now
don't be
we are here now
you don't need to worry about 
we'll let you know

Peterb: The toads are wearing slingbacks.
There's Turkey for lunch
And when you dance
I am reminded of a printing press.
I refer the honorable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago.


Anon: Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive with my Vespa scooter, while I listen gorgeus Tobias "This charming man", the brutte off?
we'll let you know

MOZ VESPA

Peterb: My underpants are glowing

as Roger Banister loans me a fiver.
Goat is on the Menu!
Bad new for goats.
I refer the honorable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago

Anon: Dear son,
To maintain intelligent correspodence, we use Larkin's (as great Morrissey idol) poem "Toads", because, dear son, you fetch in one of your post word "toad".
But.
You didn't get this artistic association.
So.
Your last post is monthy python blah blah.
According to the facts, you are example of Monobrowed Cro-Magnon Man, and it is mostly impossible to go ahead with you.
We kindly ask you never to appear in Morrissey linkage converstaion - EVER!!!
we'll let you know

Anon: Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive with the brutte off?
...
Philip Larkin, "Toads"
Philip Larkin is the nation's favourite poet!, even to Mozz.
Now, solowers, you are learning the basics. But you need to go from scratch. You marr's and shaun ryders sad hobos...
we'll let you know

Anon: Now.
This site has to be closed.
DAVID TSENG and co. NEVER HEARD ABOUT Philip Larkin!!!
we'll let you know

The whole Solow article can be found here: http://www.morrissey-solo.com/content/391-Johnny-Marr-gig-report-at-the-Night-Day-Cafe-(Sep-29)-set-list-included-5-Smiths-songs?#comments




Well there we have it. I am of course ridiculously deluded to even think that the anon's could be Morrissey, OF COURSE THEY AREN'T, NOT ONE OF THEM!

And finally for today, Erica on twitter has asked if anybody ever managed to identify the man on the drum kit from last year? Fifi, do you have a theory?



WHO ARE YER?

*Goes off singing* Superfly guy, gonna take you higher

Day 899 - I will be twenty

March 1, 2014, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Day 868 - A Flickering Flame

≪ Previous: Day 898 - I will be seven

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Happy 20th Birthday Justin
With love
#BlueRoseSociety

Day 868 - A Flickering Flame

January 29, 2014, 6:43 am

≫ Next: Day 870 - "Blue Rose Society will never die" - Morrissey France 2014

≪ Previous: Day 899 - I will be twenty

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I believe that Morrissey initially started his MorrisseysWorld website either through boredom or as a bit of fun. It soon became a place where he could show off his talent as a comedy writer, and express his views on certain issues, without the whole world having to see and pass judgement. Morrissey's views on a New World Order and freemasonary for example, are subjects that he may well not want to discuss as 'Real Morrissey', but ironically, as 'Parody Moz', he is able to be the real HIM. MorrisseysWorld is Morrissey's safe haven.

I believe that Morrissey has thoroughly enjoyed these past couple of years, spending time in an environment where he has been able to engage with a small group of fans without them passing judgement on everything he says, does, or stands for. It must have been especially refreshing for Morrissey seeing as he has had to suffer years of abuse from not only the media, but also from his own so called fans on the Morrissey Solow website.

During this MorrisseysWorld adventure, Morrissey has also been able to create the Blue Rose Society; a group of people who shared his outlook and views. The inspiration for the BRS came from Oscar Wilde's similar concept, whereby a small group of close friends and supporters wore a green carnation in their button hole to show allegiance to Wilde.


A MODERN DAY SUPPORTER OF WILDE


When the Blue Rose Society was formed, Morrissey asked that we all bring roses (red, white or blue) to his concerts, but unfortunately, although many people thought it was a good idea, most people's actions didn't speak as loud as their words. I remember heading up to Manchester in July 2012 as though it was my calling, but all the others who had been part of our initial little band (with the exception of Marcus Markou) found an excuse NOT to wade down to the mosh pit with their rose in hand. Most were either embarrassed or just didn't care about it in the way I did. I didn't let it bother me, after all, who am I to tell people what to do, and it showed me that there was a difference between 'MorrisseysWorlders' and 'The Blue Rose Society'.


MANCHESTER JULY 2012

I was gutted that I failed to get my luminous blue rose to Moz in Manchester, so gutted, that when a tour was announced in the USA, I headed over to New York, where I eventually managed to get my flashing piece of plastic to Moz (via his tour manager), although I once again failed to get my real blue roses to him at both Long Island and Brooklyn.


FLASHING THE PLASTIC IN MANHATTAN - JAN 2013


SO CLOSE IN BROOKLYN - JAN 2013

A number of the BRS have shared my passion, and have done all they can to get a Blue Rose to Morrissey. President Kyle succeeded in NYC, and Vulgar Angie even managed to pass Moz the Blue Rose Ring in LA. Little Devan managed to get his Blue Rose to Moz during the recording of Morrissey25:Live, for all the world to see. Others such as EARS, Heather and Moz Fiend have traveled miles to try, but as yet without success. There are people out there who really, really love the idea of BRS, but these people aren't necessarily the same people as those who love MorrisseysWorld.


PRESIDENT KYLE'S BLUE ROSE SITS ON THE HIP - NYC 2012




HOLLYWOOD HIGH - MARCH 2013

With MorrisseysWorld now apparently gone, BRS needs to have a meaning. My interpretation has always been that it belongs to Morrissey, and it is his to do as he pleases with it. It can only survive if Morrissey wants it to survive, but I would guess that he, like Wilde, would like his society to be full of 'supporters', and NOT people who question his motives, actions and beliefs.

I didn't write about this yesterday, because I hoped that it would go away on it's own, but the reason that Morrissey wanted to bring an end to this whole phenomenal adventure was because people started to take him to task for his actions. WHY the hell should Morrissey have to justify anything to anybody? If he doesn't want certain people in his society, then that is up to him. Did people not stop to ask themselves why Morrissey would want to pass niceties with anybody who shows signs of homophobia, or mocks suicide? He doesn't have to prove things were said to him, this isn't a court. If he says he witnessed it, then he witnessed it. Why would he make it up? Only two days ago Morrissey was describing  how harrowing his youth had been, as he battled with what society perceived was 'normal'. He tweeted that he had been taught that his "desire for love is a blight from the devil", so WHY, 40 years later, should Morrissey have to face a cross examination? The answer is, he doesn't, well certainly not here anyway. "I don't want to be judged, I would sooner be loved, I would sooner be blindly loved."


"I am human and I need to be loved."


If Wilde's green carnation represented homosexuality, which many believed it did, then wouldn't it be great if the Blue Rose represented humasexuality, although ultimately, it is up to Morrissey what he sees it representing, it is HIS society. What is more, if those people who are around Morrissey aren't the sort of people he wants around him, whether in the 'real' world or in cyberspace, then why would he put up with them?

.
If Morrissey decides tomorrow that he doesn't want me around, I would accept it and move on. It has been an absolute pleasure to have been able to get this close to a man who to me, is untouchable as a modern day poet. The words he has given through song define my life. I don't care if people think I am a fawning sycophant, I owe Morrissey far more than I could ever afford to pay, and so the very least I can do is to offer my support, which I will do, unquestioningly, for as long as it is wanted.

 I am sure that many people won't agree with my view, but that is fine, I will lose NO sleep. Whilst MorrisseysWorld is gone, if Morrissey sees FTM as a safe haven, where he can escape the torture of everyday life, then that is what I will provide.

Anybody leaving petty or hurtful comments will simply have them deleted. If you want to take Morrissey to task, Solow is just a click away.

Viva Blue Rose

Rat

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Day 870 - "Blue Rose Society will never die" - Morrissey France 2014

January 31, 2014, 3:00 am

≫ Next: Day 871 - "Fitted heaven like a glove"

≪ Previous: Day 868 - A Flickering Flame

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It has been a really bizarre week in the life of MorrisseysWorld and the Blue Rose Society, and there is SO, SO much that I want to write about and catch up with, but unfortunately I just have no time over the next few days, so this will be my last blog post until next week. Hopefully next week I will be able to report all the recent events, which include; me being maliciously 'outed' against my will on twitter by a cyclist from Coventry, being threatened and having my privacy invaded by a treehugger from London and receiving abuse at the hands of an older woman who claims to like cats.... and these were ALL members of the Blue Rose Society! You couldn't make this up.

However, much more importantly, Morrissey has issued a statement on my previous blog entry saying, "Blue Rose Society will never die." Broken has also tweeted to say "keep pruning the tree", as the BRS has to have the people in it that Morrissey wants to be surrounded by. Despite Chuck's insistence that Broken PROVES to her the words of others, rather than taking his word., it would appear that Broken still wants Chuck around, and I understand his reasons. She is a kind well meaning person, so I hope she can drop the insistence and show 'support' for BrokenMorrissey, ie a Pessoa of Morrissey's that portrays his 'broken' side, a side that over the years has probably threatened to engulf him completely. I hope this makes sense to Chuck. Green Carnation was an organisation of Wilde's SUPPORTERS, and BRS is a group of Morrissey SUPPORTERS. No questioning. Support. Don't mistake this for fawning, he gets that in the outside world, SUPPORT means trust, belief, and acceptance that what Morrissey stands for, is what you yourself stand for. A cult? No. A common goal? Yes.

I do so wish I had time to write more today, I especially wanted to mention the hilariously coincidental tweet sent by Joe Chiccarelli, but it can wait until Monday.

So, for now, I must rather excitedly report that 'Fire' has sent me an email. There is so much about this email that I also want to discuss, but instead, I will invite the members of BRS to leave their own observations and comments. There were two photos attached to the email, of  books that 'Fire' has purchased whilst in France. I will publish the photos on Monday, as I am having to type today's blog entry on my phone (my laptop has died) and it is very restrictive. One of my own observations is that the subject matter of 'When last I Spoke to Carol' (ie Carol Weissweiller) has 'lost' the 'e' to her name, in much the same way that 'Jeane' gained an e. The subject of the Trilogy Ring and it's mention in 'This Charming Man' is UNBELIEVBLE. We are being given information (or at least theories) that Smiths fans would die for.

Anyway, enough of my observations, let's have yours, and that does NOT include you, Marcus Markou, your views are NOT welcome here, and if you post any, I will take it as continued harassment.

Words of Fire:

Dear Rodent friend,

I recently started reading your blog on recommendation from someone I dearly love and I enjoyed your passion, dedication and keen interest in the Arts.

So I decided to write a few theories that were very well received and I felt I had found a place for my hyperactive mind to fulfil its never ending need for recognition.

Unfortunately, the excitement was short-lived and what I once saw as a community of kind, generous and intelligent people turned into a place of public bashing, which is something I have always run away from.

I was highly disappointed to see you had deleted all the posts and comments that were made in connection to the Arts (Cocteau et al.)

It was a definite sign for me that my contribution was no longer needed.

I am not judging your choices in any way, I find honourable you would want to stick by 'Broken' believing he IS the real deal, it shows you are and always have been committed to the ONE person you started the blog for. Whether you are right or wrong is irrelevant as long as you believe what you are doing is the right thing to do for Morrissey himself.

I hope you understand my decision to step away. It is nothing personal. As a matter of fact, I really enjoyed our conversations (with you and the other members of the BRS), I thought you were all extremely sweet to me at all times.

I just cannot find my place in all of this anymore and given I have a lot on my plate right now (with a side of delicious organic French vegetables), it might just be the right time to go back to what I usually do. 

You asked me a lot of questions and I tried to answer as much as I could but like I once said to you, some things are better left unsaid (or just cannot be said) but I still had more to tell. So as a farewell gift, I will try and give you a few additional answers.

- The RANK code. There is no code. It's not a code, it's a message. It's a painful cry. It's so painful that it cannot be told to the world and like I said to you recently, I should not have mentioned it. There aren't any numbers in Alexandra's eyes, the answer is in the words, the choice of songs. I cannot say any more, I am sure you can make your own opinion from that but please let this one go.

- WHO took the photo with Auntie Mary is irrelevant. It definitely was taken in the Summer of 1976. And the hair IS dreadful. 

- Was 'William it was really nothing''s sleeve in relation to Jean Cocteau? No, it was not. The original ADS advert stated 'Will you still respect your speakers in the morning?' and it sort of echoed with the theme of the song. How can you stay with a fat girl etc. and so, will you still respect yourself in the morning? The whole idea seemed to make sense and the photo was a perfect illustration of the idea.

-What's my 'Cocteau theory'?

Well that's a bit long to explain so I will have to keep it short and let you do a bit of research should you be interested but don't feel like you have to.

Cocteau's influence was particularly present in the early Smiths records, although no one ever seemed to pick up on that. Everything tends to be associated to Oscar Wilde. But it is only because people are lazy and lack knowledge. So imagine my excitement when you first mentioned Genet / Cocteau / Marais / Radiguet on your blog!

Back to the theory.

The glove is very present in Cocteau's art (see 'La belle et la bete' movie - The glove is a character by itself. It is magical and full of meaning) and Cocteau once said about Radiguet (after he died) that he "fitted heaven like a glove" and "Radiguet was a glove from heaven" or something along those lines, I am sure you can find exact quotes somewhere.

My 'theory' is that 'Hand in Glove' was maybe inspired by this...?

And like I mentioned before, the sleeve reminds me of the Cocteau tapestry at Villa Santo Sospir but it might just be coincidence or plain wrong.

Then came 'This charming man' with the famous Jean Marais picture (taken from Orpheus, a Cocteau movie) - Marais being Cocteau's lover, the song could be about that? I don't know...

As for the line 'Return the ring', my theory is that it is a reference to the Cartier ring that was designed for Jean Cocteau, called Trilogy. A few words about it here : http://www.troisanneaux.com/articles/jean-cocteau-the-trinity-or-troisanneaux-ring/ 

Totally far-fetched. I am just losing my mind.

There were more references to Cocteau later like on Hatful of Hollow or other things I mentioned on your blog before.

Even later in the solo years does Cocteau appear at times, doesn't he?

Could 'When last I spoke to Carol' be about Carole Weisweiller, daughter of Francine Weisweiller and owner of the famous Villa Santo Sospir, and grew up at Cocteau and Marais's side? No, of course not, Carole was not born in 1975! Silly me. 

I must go. I found some gems today while book shopping in a dusty French store I cannot wait to dive into (see photos attached).

Have you read 'La difficulté d'être' (The difficulty of being)? So inspiring. So true. So Cocteau.

Be happy, be handsome, be confident, be true to yourself, be iconic, be real. It was nice meeting you (virtually that is), some day I might bump into you. Who knows? 

One last thing. I am NOT Broken, I am NOT MorrisseyParody, I am NOT Brokenmorrissey, I am NOT Johnny Morris, I am NOT Linder (although I would love to have her natural grace), I am not even called Fifi (but that I bet you had guessed). You think I am a woman, Willow thinks I am a man, most think I am an illusion of the mind, that I don't exist. And from now on, they are right.

Me. And nobody else.

aka Fire

Day 871 - "Fitted heaven like a glove"

February 1, 2014, 8:20 am

≫ Next: Day 873 - Are We Going Gaga?

≪ Previous: Day 870 - "Blue Rose Society will never die" - Morrissey France 2014

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I didn't intend to blog today, as I am extremely busy, but if I don't catch up with some of the backlog of things I want to mention, then Monday's blog will be about 232 yards long.

Firstly, here is Heather's excellent response to Fire's Cocteau revelations:

heathercat1 February 2014 05:18

Merci beaucoup Fifi, for these intriguing possible Cocteau connections - they give us much to think about. Your contributions are always welcome and needed. It might also be worth mentioning the Cocteau quote that you tweeted recently: "Sun, I am black outside and rose inside which is the metamorphosis." You implied that this quote may have inspired the beloved lyric, "I wear black on the outside 'cause black is how I feel on the inside."

I'm also interested in the 'Hand in Glove' mention because that song was already on my mind lately, as it defines the BRS for me, so I'm intrigued by the Cocteau connection. You had already pointed out the artwork as being reminiscent of Cocteau's naked blue man, and now there's the apparent glove connection. I've noticed that the sun seems to be a recurrent theme in Cocteau's work (e.g. the black sun in the Crucifixion mural at Notre Dame de France as well as the quote I mentioned above and other pieces). Would it be too far-fetched to wonder if there could be a possible connection with the lyric, "the sun shines out of our behinds"? I'm having more trouble following the connections in This Charming Man (what specifically suggests the Trilogy ring?), but there is a bicycle accident in Orpheus, which might possibly explain the "punctured bicycle" lyric.

I apologize for the length of this comment, but because I didn't have time to post a full comment on the previous entry, I just wanted to say what blue rose represents in my eyes. Rats had mentioned that it could represent humasexuality, which is a great thought, but for me it's more all-encompassing than that. The point of humasexuality is total freedom to be ourselves, free from societal constraints and expectations, so for me blue rose extends that idea to all aspects of our beings. No matter what makes us unique and different from others, the message of blue rose and all of Morrissey's music is that it's OK to be you, regardless of what the world thinks. Hand in Glove screamed this message to me when I first heard it 30 years ago and it's been my theme song of personal salvation ever since. Therefore, I think it has a special connection with BRS, which Ratty has previously blogged about, and the possible Cocteau connections make it even more special. 

The whole Hand in Glove connection is really exciting, and as Heather has written, it does feel like a BRS song, although I would guess, that to both Morrissey and Marr, it will always remain their song, probably alongside There is a Light That Never Goes Out. Here is a reminder of what Fifi wrote about the glove:

The glove is very present in Cocteau's art (see 'La belle et la bete' movie - The glove is a character by itself. It is magical and full of meaning) and Cocteau once said about Radiguet (after he died) that he "fitted heaven like a glove" and "Radiguet was a glove from heaven" or something along those lines, I am sure you can find exact quotes somewhere.

My 'theory' is that 'Hand in Glove' was maybe inspired by this...?

And like I mentioned before, the sleeve reminds me of the Cocteau tapestry at Villa Santo Sospir but it might just be coincidence or plain wrong.

The trilogy ring is also a very exciting association to This Charming Man, but WHO was the 'she' who said, "return the ring"? Was it Francine Weisweiller?

Another Cocteau connection to re-surface (thanks to anon posting it yesterday), is the Morrissey poem entitled Poppycocteau, that was written and released on the flip side of the Smiths song London, which came free with Catalog magazine, although actually it was more of a case of the magazine coming free with the record/poem. The poem is hilarious and reminds me of Kenneth Williams. Fifi has informed me that the poem "was not written in a drunken hour at all." Here is my copy of the poem, which rather surprisingly DOESN'T feature in the Top 100 Smiths rarities, as published today by Record Collector magazine. I suppose, technically, it isn't a Smiths release, well certainly not Poppycocteau at any rate.




Yesterday, I also promised to post the photos that Fire had emailed me from France. I have had to photograph my pc screen, as I am a technophobe, and can't work out how to copy them from the email!







I also wrote yesterday, that I wanted to make mention of a 'retweet' that Fif posted, which was originally posted by Morrissey's new record producer, Joe Chiccarelli. The fact that Joe's tweet of Jan 6th might well have been referring to the fact that he will soon begin working with Morrissey ( starting today?) is one thing, but it is made even more interesting by the fact that he says, "Back into the Fire", with Fire being the name that we have recently given to Fifi (aka a Morrissey pessoa). Jigsaw, jigsaw, jigsaw. Here is Joe's coincidental tweet, which on this occasion, really IS a coincidence:

Joe Chiccarelli ‏@artfitproJan 6

2014. Back into the Fire. Except I'm in Nashville and it's 7 degrees!

JOE CHICCARELLI

I have asked Fifi WHY she thinks Joe was chosen for the new album, and I am hoping to receive a reply. Fifi has also informed me of another Cocteau link in Morrissey's solo work, and I hope to write more on that on Monday. I shall leave you with the clue that Fifi has left me... it's on Your Arsenal.

That's it for today, I shall return on Monday. I should very quickly mention that as of today, FTM has received over 376,000 hits, which I think I am right in believing, is now more than MorrisseysWorld, but seeing as MW is closed for around 11 months a year, that is hardly a surprise. Most of my hits are from me and a spam bot in Russia.

And very finally, Morrissey offered Marcus the opportunity to remain in the Blue Rose Society, and he has politely declined via a video posted to myself and Broken on twitter of 'No, thank you' from Cyrano de Bergerac. Here are Morrissey's other decisions regarding bans following this week's 'Fall Out':

Morrissey1 February 2014 15:29

Ban against Sabine - upheld, permanently.

Ban against LizzyCat - upheld, for a minimum period of 3 months.

Ban against Chuck - upheld, for a minimum period of 1 month.

All rise.

'R' - magistrate to the eminent artiste Judge Morr-ee-say QC.

*Goes off singing* My love, wherever you are, whatever you are

Day 873 - Are We Going Gaga?

February 3, 2014, 9:36 am

≫ Next: Day 902 - Twitterdilly Arms Top 50

≪ Previous: Day 871 - "Fitted heaven like a glove"

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I have spent a huge amount of my weekend in the Twitterdilly Arms, leaning on the bar talking to Morrissey..... let me just repeat that again, and give myself a hard pinch as I do, in fact, I'll shout it.... I HAVE SPENT THE WEEKEND TALKING TO MORRISSEY.

IT WAS A BUSY WEEKEND IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS - WILLOW (LEFT) AND HEATHER BEHIND THE BAR WHILST TRB, OUR MOZZER AND LOUGHTON LIL PUT THE WORLD TO RIGHTS (KIRKY IS ON THE VERY LEFT AND PEERING OVER THE TOP OF LOUGHTON'S CAP IS MENIPPUS)

Is this really happening, or is it just a dream? How have we arrived at this? More to the point, how can Morrissey possibly be logging on to twitter whenever he feels like it, and NOBODY is seeing him? It's not even as though he is tweeting as a parody anymore (well actually he still is, but that's a different account), he has registered as himself, '@BrokenMorrissey'. His profile clearly states, 'This time it's the real me', although he has obviously kept his irony close by his side. If only Marcus had read that profile, instead of presuming that the new 'Broken' account was the same as the old ironic one used previously, then he may not have been so accusing of me! But we move on. The 'Broken Morrissey' account has the grand total of 69 followers. Here are some of his highlights from the weekend:

"MW was once very beautiful."
"Broken without irony would be like Morrissey without moaning."
"@MorrisseyParody @BoyGeorge Boy and Morrissey - the two wittiest famous people on twitter . They fit together like hand in glove....... or like Morrissey's head in one of Boy George's hats."

BORROWED HAT?

"They're persecutin' Justin."
"#Beleieve by Justin Bieber is one of the most intellectually challenging movies. #BelieveMovie"

STOP PRESS: I can't post anymore of Broken's highlights, the old b*stard has just closed down both the Broken and Parody Moz accounts. There were loads more excellent quotes from Broken that I wanted to post, including a fruity conversation I had with him on Saturday morning about swords. He even mentioned that he thought we might be compatible; in his dreams, the fag....... Ouch! That looks horrific to see it written like that, doesn't it, GOB? Sorry, I'm being childish, but I hope she (and a few others) can see just why her words caused such a commotion. I'll leave it now.

Let me quickly copy the best of Parody Moz from my phone before the words disappear into a locked cupboard:

"Is there a person out there who can save me from a fate worse than life?"
"Wrong Direction should be thrown in the bargain bin of pop history before they do any more damage to young minds."
"Childhood is spent wishing to be older. Adulthood is spent wishing to be younger. Old age is spent wishing one had wished a little less."
"I can see Tony and Cherie ending up with their own chat show - Richard and Judy without the brains and the looks respectively."

TONY AND CHERIE

"In the time it takes to have sex, one could read a couple of chapters of a book - or at least a couple of pages. #Honesty"
"Bad things come to those who wait; good things come to those who don't."
"With my wit, insight and literary flair, why am I impersonating a former pop icon rather than changing the world?"
"My followers are not as numerous as @justinbieber or as wacky as @ladygaga but they are the most intellectual 641 followers on Twitter."

Parody Moz once again got into conversation with Boy George yesterday, who as we know, is the ONLY celebrity who has managed to work out that it is the REAL Morrissey behind the parody account. At one stage George was tweeting about a racist act he had seen, and posted this tweet: "@MorrisseyParody I just hate cunts!" Parody Moz, quick as a flash, tweeted back:
"I know you do, Boy - but let's get back to the topic of racists." (Ed - I howled with laughter at this one. I'm not sure Our Mozzer would have appreciated Boy George's follow up tweet though, in which he informed Moz, "Your almost as quick as our new hero James Davidson!" (A reference to comedian Jim Davidson who has just won Celebrity Big Brother, and YES, I did watch every single episode of it!)

LEFT - JIM DAVIDSON. AND ON THE RIGHT, HE'S DAPPY, SO LEAVE HIM ALONE

Just to prove that it isn't only Morrissey's broken side that has an obsession with Canada's finest, Justin Bieber, Parody Moz also tweeted about him over the weekend:
"@justinbieber My prediction is you'll be in prison before the year's out." Boy George replied:
"@ParodyMorrissey He's already in a prison of his own making!" (That is quite a poignant tweet, as it could perhaps relate to Moz, or at least to the Moz of the 1970's and 80's, although of course, Morrissey might argue that his prison was built by society rather than himself.... but perhaps that is a topic for another time.)
"@BoyGeorge Me plus you, I'mma tell you one time, Imma tell you #OneTime"
"I maintain that fashion is absolutely essential for those born without a sense of style. How else could they purchase one?"
"Elton John's music most certainly is NOT easy-listening - it's not challenging enough for that."
"Sometimes I even make myself laugh." (Ed - This is my favorite tweet of the weekend. You can just picture Our Mozzer laying on his bed in France, typing away on his laptop, with a large grin on his face as he lunges  into Elton John!


"SOMETIMES I EVEN MAKE MYSELF LAUGH"

"@MozIsMyShepherd I think Kyle should sing another Morrissey song for #BlueRoseSociety. I would suggest he sings with his actual voice. (Ed - As opposed to miming along) His voice has potential."
"I ask you - could anyone else do this?"
"The joy of Twitter, for me, lies in succeeding with some style, yet without anybody noticing."
"The witless 'thoughts' of C-listers make the front pages, while my witticisms and self-deprecating paeans to nihilism are disregarded."
"I will forgive anyone at any time. Just say 'sorry'. I love the #BlueRoseSociety" (Ed - MIKE JOYCE TAKE NOTE, he says he will forgive anyone, although I have already pointed this out to Mike Joyce on Day 43 of FTM; which Mike Joyce then left comment on saying, "in my opinion, I wasn't wrong to take up proceedings in the first place, nor will I ever be." Unless Joyce has subsequently reflected on his mistake, just like one or two of those involved in Bikergate have done, then I don't suppose we will be seeing a Smiths reunion any day soon. There is no place for a reunion at present anyway, but nobody could ever say never, although without that apology, I am pretty sure it wouldn't happen.

 I very much doubt that Mike Joyce still reads FTM, and as he claims he hasn't read Autobiography, then I don't suppose the ramblings of an online rat are going to push aside his current reading material (whatever it may be), but if Joyce happens to be reading this in 2021 (when the penny finally drops to the world that MW REALLY was Morrissey), then do please leave an updated comment Mike. Let us all know the current lie of the land inside your head. Thanks. And yes, I DO know I am a cunt, I really do!)

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD - ELTON JOHN

"Each time one forgives, a small part of one's spirit dies."
"It is no coincidence that most religions preach the value of forgiveness; once they can make you forgive, it's over."

Back to Bieber. Parody Moz posted a video of 'Under the Mistletoe' and tweeted: "Justin Bieber before he discovered he was black."
I then engaged Moz in a discussion about the influence of rap and hip hop, particularly on the white youth of today. Here is his view:
"Mainstream rap and hip hop reinforce extreme right wing values. They are utterly without intelligence. Irony is 'gay'. #Panic"

I pointed out that my children like rap and got this reply:
"@TheRatsBack Do your kids call you 'bro', flash gangster signs at you and wear their baseball caps backwards?" I can report that they don't flash gangster signs or even own any baseball caps, but they do in fact call me 'bro', albeit that it is said with irony.... I think/hope!

"The only time I get down on my knees is to wipe the kitchen floor."

(Ed - Before I carry on re-posting Our Mozzer's tweets, this rather hilarious mention of kitchens has just reminded me of a fantastic photo that Comrade Harps tweeted last night, of Jean Cocteau washing up. The posting of the photo prompted Fifi (who also happened to be on twitter last night; I think it was a bit of a last night blow out from Moz before work starts on the new album today) to tweet:

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2713h

@comradeharps, I bet @TheRatsBack is going to love this one!

Fifi is right, I DO love it! Here is Harps great find:




Actually, the reason Fifi had appeared in the Twitterdilly Arms last night, was because I had asked her a question, following a particular posting on twitter by '@RosyMires', a former Blue Roser (for those who are new around here (Willow and co); Rosy is a 'former' because she lost the faith a couple of years ago (See Day 153 of FTM), although she still apparently reads my blog every day (everyday?) and even visited the Chapel de Notre Dame recently on the back of all Fifi's revelations, although it should also be noted that Rosy Mires DOES NOT believe for one minute that Fifi is Morrissey! In fact, while I'm in these brackets, let me mention that I had another go at trying to convince Rosy that Morrissey is behind this whole phenomenal adventure, but of course I was wasting my time. The only reason I am so determined to get Rosy to see, is because she was there at the beginning, and only lost her way because of 'Houstongate', much in the same way that LizzyCat, Marcus and Chuck have lost their way because of 'Bikergate'. They all lose sight for the wrong reasons, and in fact if you bother reading back through that Day 153 entry, Rosy's actual reason for losing the faith was because MW joked about Morrissey having IBS, which Rosy claimed, "Moz would be hurt by that"! What a line, and reading it back has just made me 'Double Lol'! Anyway, where was I? I'm still in these brackets, so I can't have finished on Rosy.... oh yes, I was trying to convince Rosy (in the Twitterdilly toilets ie twitter DM) that Morrissey is behind OM, Broken, GreyerGirl, Fifi etc, and she informed me that I was wrong, saying, "If only you knew what I know", whatever that means, so I asked her WHO is behind MorrisseysWorld and all these characters? I hope Rosy doesn't mind me sharing her reply, but I think it represents the viewpoint of ALL the thousands of Moz fans who just haven't been able to accept the truth. Here is Rosy's excellent (if somewhat misguided) take on the person behind the curtain:

"He is an intellectual. He gets Moz in an acutely accurate way which most people miss. But he himself is very different to Moz. His parody is more him than Moz. That's his mistake. His ego has taken over."

I asked Rosy how long she and Moz had known each other. She replied:

"His book, his songs, his interviews.... quite a lot to go on. Enough to get a good sense of who he is. What he 'would' and 'wouldn't' do!"

I AM TWO PEOPLE, ONE YOU KNOW BUT DON'T LIKE, THE OTHER ONE YOU DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO

I have now been in these brackets long enough, so I shall get out and get on with what I was getting on with.). Here is the piece Rosy tweeted:




Here is Fifi's response to the piece. Fifi doesn't usually get angry, she is the calming, gentle pessoa, a little like Astraea (who I have to say, I am starting to think might be Linder Sterling!):

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2716h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack My view is it is complete BS. Not true.

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2716h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack They are talking about two different photos, the original one was not modified. Outrageous!

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2715h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack This is the mirror photo pic.twitter.com/SemdyBb8Do

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2715h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack this is the sand photo pic.twitter.com/oYZyknX1yr

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2715h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack And this is the Smiths photo pic.twitter.com/f1yFGbONwS

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2715h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack So how was the original image altered??

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2715h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack Saying Cocteau's vision was not respected is horrifying! And wrong! Marais could NEVER have said that!

 

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2715h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack Who wrote that article dear Rosy? I want to send a vehemently repulsed letter to that journalist!

Rosie ‏@RosyMires15h

@y20m7d27@TheRatsBack Thanks. Interesting. The excerpt was from "Morrissey: Scandal and Passion"

Fifi ‏@y20m7d2715h

@RosyMires@TheRatsBack Oh, I unnecessarily lost my temper. Coming from him, it was OBVIOUSLY wrong! Thank you Rosie!

'Morrissey: Scandal and Passion' is apparently written by a bloke called David Bret, who I mentioned in a blog entry a few days ago. #JournalistsWhoLie

Right, back to tweets from Parody Moz:

"I am considering a duet with Lady Gaga. She wrote to me, asking if I would record a song with her."

Oh, that's it! There are no more tweets left! A duet with Gaga? This isn't the first time Gaga has been mentioned lately. Either Broken or PM tweeted that they had recently 'met' Gaga again. It would certainly be a VERY interesting combination.

That will do for today, although one more quick mention about Rosy Mires. I decided to try and get '@Banjaxer' to convince Rosy that he ISN'T the man behind the twitter account '@MorrisseysMum'. Banjaxer decided to pass the buck to 'Mum', who tweeted:

A N fr ‏@MorrisseysMumFeb 2

@banjaxer@TheRatsBack@RosyMires que vous dormez

Now ain't that the truth! "You don't WANT to believe. You are sleeping."

 'Mum' also sent us all a message yesterday, in the form of a photo, confirming that work on the new album hadn't yet started:


PLENTY OF GUITARS, NOBODY TO PLAY THEM.... DOES ANYBODY RECOGNIZE THE GUITARS?

Finally, finally, I have had no word from Fifi regarding her Cocteau theory on Your Arsenal, but this excellent Cocteau piece was posted on my blog by Comrade Harps:


Re heathercat's observation about the visual connection between the Cocteau murals, Hand In Glove and other Smiths over art, I find that several of the cover stars poses are similar to the poses in the murals. Head down or eyes down, especially. Look at The Smiths LP cover, William It Was Really Nothing and How Soon Is Now singles, for head down. See Strangeways or Sheila Take A Bow for eyes down.
Then look at the Viva Hate cover, Every Day Is Like Sunday, Your Arsenal.


The Live in Dallas DVD cover pose is an echo of a pose in the Judith et Holopherne mural.

Compare:
http://www.pinterest.com/source/vulgarpicture.com/
http://bibliotecapleyades.lege.net/biblianazar/revelacion_templarios/imagenes/Full-Mural_Big.jpg
http://www.le-sud-jean-cocteau.org/route_jean_cocteau/villa_santo_sospir/sospir_judith.jpg

Obviously not Truman Capote on The Boy With The Thorn In His Side, though.

Line of sight was important in Cocteau's murals: http://www.renneslechateau.nl/2008/07/21/nd-de-jerusalem/

I haven't figured it out yet, but there is something about an "inversed 'M'" mentioned at http://andrewgough.co.uk/lastmessage.html - another M reference in a Cocteau mural? Indeed, "inversion" appears to be associated with the artist as a theme (not surprisingly http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_inversion_(sexology) ), but there's probably more to it - and Morrissey would, I'm sure, have read up on it. Sexual inversion is a theme of Coctaeua's Blood of a Poet http://heartbeatred87.wordpress.com/2010/04/28/surrealist-orientation-in-jean-cocteaus-the-blood-of-a-poet/

Come to think of it, a few of the mural figures are looking up, too. And side ways. So, maybe nothing, but I do see echos in Moz/Smiths covers to the poses that Cocteau illustrated in the murals.



Posted by comrade harps to Following The Mozziah at 1 February 2014 23:54

In response to Harps, I posted this:

I was particularly interested in the article you linked about Cocteau's 'The Blood of a Poet', which I still haven't found time to watch yet. 
The more I read about Jean Cocteau, the more obvious it becomes JUST how big an influence he has been on Morrissey's life. It would be interesting to know at what age Morrissey discovered Cocteau's work. M must have found Cocteau's works as the answer to all his prayers, or at least felt great comfort in being able to get a grip on how he felt about the world. Having said that, the world of Cocteau's (and therefore Morrissey's) was far removed from what was 'acceptable' to the outside world, so although Morrissey may have found comfort, the world (in his eyes) would certainly not have allowed him to be the REAL him, so perhaps it just caused more pain. The very fact that this is all coming out now, and Morrissey has found an accepting group of people in his life, may mean that finally, finally, the pain might start to be aliviated for M...., although of course, he would fight against such pain relief with every last bone in his self-deprecating body!
Viva Cocteau

Day 902 - Twitterdilly Arms Top 50

March 4, 2014, 8:55 am

≫ Next: Day 903 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 1)

≪ Previous: Day 873 - Are We Going Gaga?

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The past week has been all about the music. The quality and quantity of music being played in the Twitterdilly Arms has meant that a Top 10 just wouldn't suffice, so for one week only, there is a Top 50. The songs included in this chart have been played on the Twit Arms jukebox by; Astraea, Fifi, Willow, Air, Romina, President Kyle, Heather, myself, Air, GWO, Harrison and CC on the blog.

I have not actually entered the Twit Arms since Saturday night. There is a reason for this, and it will be revealed in my next blog entry, which will be a parody with a punch.

TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 50:

1. LA MAISON OU J'AI GRANDI - FRANCOISE HARDY (RE-ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvLipzWWijU

2. TOUS LES GARCONS ET LES FILLES - FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V-b8QIYOpM

3. SOLEIL - FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcIaJtkeHWI

OH, FRANCOISE

4. MON AMIE LA ROSE - FRANCOISE HARDY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ICFtXx546A

5. TRAUME - FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mT1h_OXBNI

6. ANOTHER PLACE - FRANCOISE HARDY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjaxjh6pKLg

OH, FRANCOISE

7. I'LL BE SEEING YOU - FRANCOISE HARDY & IGGY POP (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmsgg7W4ASw


I COULDN'T FIND A PHOTO OF IGGY & FRANCOISE TOGETHER, SO..... OH, KATE, OH, JOHNNY, OH, IGGY


8. ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES - MAMIE VAN DOREN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSsI-x7Hjyk

9. GO, GO CALYPSO - MAMIE VAN DOREN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcLN2jHmEcM&feature=kp


OH, MAMIE

10. FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN - MARLENE DIETRICH (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=godCPz1i0Hw

(NOTE TO ALL MEMBERS OF THE BLUE ROSE SOCIETY - NOTE THE FLOWERS BEING THROWN AT THE ENCORE IN THE ABOVE MARLENE DIETRICH VIDEO.... THIS IS WHAT WE MUST DO AT THE MORRISSEY CONCERTS. AS HE COMES OUT FOR THE ENCORE, WE THROW ROSES..... AND THE BRAVE WILL MOUNT THE STAGE WITH A BLUE ROSE.)



THE BRAVE. AND ON THE SUBJECT OF KYLE.......

11. FIRST OF THE GANG TO DIE - MOZKIDKYLE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QykKWDQTgh0

12. WHEN WILL YOU SAY I LOVE YOU - BILLY FURY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnBzLksr_U8

OH, BILLY


13. I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR LOVE - PETULA CLARK (ON SACHA DISTEL SHOW) (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXTfKLKD9TE

14. MY LADY HEROINE - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5JjH1LiN5E
(NOTE THE BLUE ROSE IN THE VIDEO)

SERGE - SAY IT WITH ROSES

15. OUR FRANK - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkqVB8ci1Wc
(NOTE THE BLUE ROSE IN THE VIDEO, ON THE SKINHEAD'S ARM (23 SECS IN)




16. TERRY - KIRST MACCOLL (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0teK0FheCrQ

17. HE'S A KEEPER OF THE FIRE - BUFFY SAINTE-MARIE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dLXAk0qli4

18. PADAM PADAM - EDITH PIAF (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfmguyDRBwU

19. SPEEDWAY (PLUS ASLEEP - 25:LIVE) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioefcU8Pk7g

20. BOOMERANG BABY - MARLENE DIETRICH (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl-LYmBDZBw


OH MARLENE...... IS THAT MORRISSEY'S RING?

21. UNE SIMPLE LETTRE/LA PREMIERE ETOILE (DOUBLE 'A' SIDE) (LIVE ON THE TOM JONES SHOW 1969) - MIREILLE MATHIEU (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_hs3gP_Gxk

22. PARIS EN COLERE - MIREILLE MATHIEU (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y5DkG_q_B4

OH, MAREILLE


23. LUCK LISP - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r72WJqc6ho

24. FIREBALL - WILLOW SMITH FT. NICKI MINAJ (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7AQ7No84Uc

25. DISAPPOINTED - MORRISSEY (LIVE AT WOLVERHAMPTON CIVIC HALL 1988) (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_VNhp7PwEQ


OH, MOZ (PHOTO TAKEN AND COPYRIGHT OWNED BY KEVIN CUMMINS)

26. I'M A MAN - JOBRIATH (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9tJncL0RvU

27. SATELLITE OF LOVE (LIVE IN POMONA 2011) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk8vbpJfVb0

28. THE ALABAMA SONG (LIVE) - DAVID BOWIE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa44xQOdHMI

29. THIRTEEN MEN - ANN-MARGRET (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIodUi6L4IY


OH, ANN-MARGRET


OH AGAIN



AND ONE MORE TIME..... OHHHHH

30. YOU'RE THE BOSS - ELVIS PRESLEY & ANN-MARGRET (NEW ENTRY):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr6GPx28fr0

31. BEGIN THE BEGUINE - ANN-MARGRET (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsQD4gq4qxU

32. KING CREOLE - ELVIS PRESLEY (RE-ENTRY):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA_zS6-dO7Q

33. FEVER - ELVIS PRESLEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9Ht1q9psfY

34. WHAT'D I SAY - ELVIS PRESLEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLi5PNasbvA

35. VIVA LAS VEGAS - ELVIS PRESLEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFw5a5Bp_Pw

36. THE LADY LOVES ME - ELVIS PRESLEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AGjidBLgMM

AND OH AGAIN.... AND OHHHHH, ELVIS

AHHH, AND OH AGAIN, ELVIS


37. PERMANENTLY LONELY - TIMI YURO (DOWN 33): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeU_yf-rQL8

38. JEANNE - AIR & FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDUE7AVspbo&feature=youtu.be

39. I'M YOUR MAN - LEONARD COHEN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOnXe8ttmjY

40. JEZEBEL - FRANKIE LAINE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw9j2EN4TU4

41. PASHERNATE LOVE (LIVE AT SHORELINE '91) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUjpUi2VULU&feature=youtu.be

42. TAKE MY HAND FOR A WHILE - FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBqKLJh34ww&feature=youtu.be

43. DANCING QUEEN - ABBA (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFrGuyw1V8s&feature=youtu.be

OH, AGNETHA

44. MEXICO - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIv9V2eH5wE&feature=youtu.be

45. UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjCD1vfStIQ

46. BROKEN - JUSTIN BIEBER (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ8ySTLYIy4

OH, HECK

47. DON'T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD - NINA SIMONE (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ckv6-yhnIY

48. THE MAN FROM GLASGOW - RAGLANS (RE-ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAhCb_bbaGM

49. HEROES - DAVID BOWIE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRqxoM7iqoY

50. BE MY WIFE - DAVID BOWIE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB7skYEv_EM


OH, MARY


RAT (PRETENDING TO PLAY ACCORDION), FIFI, WILLOW (ON TABLE), HEATHER, AND OTHERS IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS

Day 903 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 1)

March 5, 2014, 10:24 am

≫ Next: Day 904 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 2)

≪ Previous: Day 902 - Twitterdilly Arms Top 50

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(The scene is the Twitterdilly Arms, the Blue Rose Society's drinking hole of choice. The pub is heaving with BRS members. There is a stage at one end of the pub, and chairs have been set out to face the stage. MancLad and EARS are behind the bar. It is present day.)


MANCLAD AND EARS

EARS: (to Manc) It's never been so busy in here, Manc. What do you think tonight's meeting is all about, and why has every member of the Blue Rose Society been asked to attend?

(Manc looks around to make sure nobody is listening)

MANC: (to Ears) Well, I shouldn't really say, but word on the street is that somebody is in deep shit, and from what I've been told.... no, I'd better not say.

EARS: Oh, go on. You can trust me.

MANC: Ok, but you must promise not to breathe a word to anybody.

EARS: I promise.

MANC: Well, apparently the boss is on his way, and he's got.... (pauses and looks around again to double check that nobody can hear)... Mam with him!

EARS: MAM?

MANC: Ssh. I've probably said too much. Remember, not a word.

EARS: (In hushed voice) If Mam's coming, it must be a Bans meeting, but if that's the case, how come every member of the BRS has been asked to attend, it's usually just the inner circle who sit on that committee.

MANC: As I said, somebody is for the high jump. I don't think it's just a ban, I think it might be a public flogging!

(Rat struts up to the bar, chest puffed out)


RAT

RAT: (slightly slurring) Good evening Ears, good evening Manc. I'll have another glass of Bolly please, and then I'd better get everybody seated.

(Clover Dean sees Rat at the bar and approaches him)

CLOVER DEAN: Rat, let me get that drink for you, it's the least I can do for all the work you've put in on the blog and with the BRS.

RAT: Oh, it's nothing, honestly. Anyway, Vulgar Angie's paying for this drink, so I can't accept your kind offer, although actually, why don't I just get a whole bottle to save you and Vulgar money? (Before Clover can answer, Rat turns to Manclad) Make that a bottle of Bolly please Manc, Clover here will sort out payment. (Manclad looks at EARS and tuts, before handing Rat a bottle of Bolly)

EARS: What's going on tonight, Rat? Why are the whole of the BRS here for a Bans meeting?

RAT: (laughing) Bans meeting? Who told you it was a Bans meeting? It's just a visit from Our Mozzer, not a Bans meeting.

EARS: Then why were we instructed to set out all the chairs to face the stage?

RAT: Perhaps he's going to come and sing us some of his new songs. It wouldn't surprise me, you know. Moz LOVES the BRS! Perhaps it's going to be a question and answer session. Maybe he'll do a little stand-up routine and throw us some of his mesmerising one-liners...... Bans meeting indeed. There's nobody who needs banning, ever since 'Gob-Gate' we've all been getting on like a house on fire. Hardly a day goes by without this place rocking with music. Fifi and Astraea are in here all the time, and I have to say, that since me and Moz became best mates, life is pretty good. (Rat raises his voice to address the whole pub, and waves his champagne bottle in the air) Did you all hear that, Morrissey emails me, we're mates now, you know! (Rat turns to Jjazzy, who is now at the bar) He emails me you know, Jaz. We really are mates. (Rat stumbles slightly). I'm the new Johnny Marr.

JAZ: Yeah, you are lucky, Rat.

(Sat in a row of seats facing the stage are a small cluster of BRS members, who include; GWO, Heather, Kelly the Crisp, Bunny Gal, Stephanie, Mme de Staël Ghost, Willow and Loughton Lil. They have all heard Rat's bragging. GWO raises her eye brows to the skies and tuts).

GWO AND WILLOW

LOUGHTON LIL: Why the tut, GWO?

GWO: (gesturing towards Rat) I think a certain somebody over there has not only had too much to drink, but has perhaps gotten a little too big for his little furry boots. I have a feeling in me waters that there is one mighty fall on it's way.

LOUGHTON LIL: What, you mean Mark E Smith's coming? (Everybody laughs)

HEATHER: GWO, you sound like log Lady to me. What do you think's going to happen?

GWO: Let's wait and see, but Manclad told me something earlier, that I'm not allowed to repeat, that makes me believe tonight might not be a case of just a casual visit from His Mozship.

LOUGHTON: Hmm, you may be right. Manc has whispered a little something to me too. I'm sworn to secrecy as well, but (Loughton looks around to make sure nobody near the little gathering can hear, and then lowers his voice) Manc said that Mam is coming.

HEATHER:  Yes, he told me that too.

WILLOW: And me.

KELLY: And me.

MME STAEL GHOST: And me.

BUNNY GAL: I'm new around here, and have no idea who either Manclad or Mam are, but the guy behind the bar told me that she was on her way too!

(Everybody laughs)

WILLOW: Shall I put the jukebox on? How about some Billy Fury?

GWO: Fury? That might be quite apt.

(Just then, the doors swing open, and in walk two men and a woman. One of the men is the former novelist, and close friend of Morrissey, Mr Michael 'Mikey' Bracewell. The other man is Morrissey's long-time musical director, Mr Martin 'Boz' Boorer. Between the two men, is Morrissey's mother, Ms Betty Dwyer.

Boorer and Bracewell walk Mam towards the front row of chairs. As Loughton Lil sees them approaching, he immediately scampers to find Mam's own comfy armchair, that is kept in the Twitterdilly Arms just for her. Lil finds the chair and positions it at the very centre of the front row. Boorer and Bracewell ease Mam into her armchair.)

BOZ: Right, I'll go and get the drinks in. May I recommend the Boz Boorer white, Betty? It's delicately crisp, with a subtle kiss.














DELICATELY CRISP

MAM: (In an Irish accent) Not for me thanks, Mortin. I don't think my stomach's quite up to your home brew. I'll have a small stout please love, and a packet of Cheese and Onion.

BOZ: Michael? Can I tempt you with my white wine?

MIKEY: No thanks, Boz, I think I'll stick to my usual. An old malt cask if you please.

(As Boz heads to the bar, the jukebox starts to fade down, the house lights are dimmed, and a buzz fills the room. A chant starts to go up.)

ALL: MORR-EE-SAY, MORR-EE-SAY, MORR-EE-SAY, MORR-EE-SAY, MORR-EE-SAY, MORR-EE-SAAAAAY.

KIRKY: (speaking to Father Brian) It gives me chills every time.

FATHER B: We don't get this in the States.

(The doors fling open, and in walks Morrissey, flanked by a women and a man)


RAT: (Shouting) Morrissey's here everybody, take your seats please.

(Everybody ignores Rat, but surge towards the stage as Morrissey leaps upon it, along with his two companions.)

HEATHER: (to Loughton, EARS (who has joined the group) GWO, Willow etc) Oh wonderful, he's got Fifi and Broken with him.





STEPHANIE: Heather, I'm fairly new around here, so please forgive me if I'm being a little slow, but I thought that Broken and Fifi were both Moz?

HEATHER: That's right, they are.

STEPHANIE: Then how come-

COMRADE HARPS: - Allow me to explain. Stephanie, just close your eyes and everything will become much clearer.

(Stephanie closes her eyes)

STEPHANIE: Ah, yes. That's better. I can see everything perfectly clearly now.





WILLOW: How lovely to see Fifi here. (Willow waves to Fifi, who waves back)

LOUGHTON LIL: I'll agree with you that it's wonderful to see Fifi, but if Broken's here, we can expect trouble.

(Rat makes his way to the front and tries to get Morrissey's attention, but Moz ignores him and leans down to speak to Mikey Bracewell.)

MOZ: Do you know, Michael, I can't decide if that Rat boy is Pike or Jones.

MIKEY: More like Godfrey if you ask me. He doesn't know his arse from his elbow.

MOZ: Hmm, quite so Mikey, quite so.

(Morrissey stands at the front of the stage, and addresses his audience)





MOZ: Thank you all for coming, and thank you for being you, I once again apologise for me being me. I am afraid that I come tonight with my black cloud glued tightly to my chest. Tonight is, unfortunately, just like any other night; in that it is full of disappointment and despair. I had hoped that this little hidden internet pub of yours was perhaps to be my safety haven. A place where I could come and be me. A place where Fifi could and kick off her heels, move her hips, and shake her hair. I thought this might be a place where Broken could find intellect and wit, and discuss the topic of the day, along with all things Bieber, but it seems I was wrong.

(A moan goes up from the audience)

RAT: (Shouting) We all love you Moz.

MOZ: Ah, Rat. Rat, Rat, Rat. Excitable Rat. I thank you for your love, but it is just a word. Unfortunately, Rat, it is YOU who has caused me to doubt this place.

GWO: (Whispering to her small group) I told you.

(Rat looks stunned)

MOZ: Rat, I had grown quite fond of you and your strange little blog. You have at times brought a smile to these cracked old lips of mine, which is no mean feat, but on day eight hundred and ninety eight of your online crusade, you ruined all your good work. Rat, you saw fit to write an article based purely around your findings of an anonymous posting on.... (Pauses. Looks to the floor, and then to the skies).... Solow. (Wipes his mouth).

(There are gasps from the audience)

MME DE STAEL GHOST: (Whispering to Heather and the gang) I didn't see that article, it isn't there now. What was it about?

(Moz has overheard Mme de Stael Ghost)

MOZ: Let me tell you what it was about, Madame. Rat saw fit to criticise... (Moz again looks at the floor and the sky, and looks in pain. He bites his bottom lip.)... Rat, saw fit to criticise........ Johnny Marr!

(The room falls silent. Both Mikey Bracewell and Boz Boorer are seen to tighten their faces, as though tasting something sharp. Mam, who has been quietly knitting, stops.)

MAM: Steven, WHO has criticised Johnny?

MOZ: Rat, Mam.

BROKEN: Cunt!

MAM: (tutting and looking at Broken) Now, there's no need for that sort of language. (Mam looks towards Rat) Rat, love, NOBODY criticises Johnny. Nobody.

RAT: But I-


MOZ: -Where's Boz?

BOZ: (Cruching on crisps and shouting) I'm here, Moz. At the bar.

MOZ: Well, can you forget your stomach for two minutes and switch the projector on. (Re-addressing the audience).
There has been an awful lot of presumption over the years about how I feel towards Johnny Marr, so I am going to ask Fifi to share one of her theories with YOU, the Blue Rose Society, about the relationship myself and Johnny have had since the break up of the Smiths. As most of you know, Fifi's theories are usually incredibly accurate, and her theory will tell things that I would certainly never say publicly, but as the words will be hers, and not mine, and as the words will be contained within a parody piece, on a two bit blog, written by a two bit rat, and as the words will actually be in part two of the parody piece, thus separating it from this page, then nobody will ever believe that these words could possibly be the words of Morrissey..... but if you listen and watch very carefully, then you might just learn the truth about Morrissey and Marr, and you will also learn some things that will ASTONISH you. (looks at Rat) And YOU, Rat, might learn not be so quick to jump to conclusions in the future, about things you know nothing about. I haven't finished with you yet, Rat, but for now, (re-addressing the audience), Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Miss Fifi.

(What is this theory that Fifi is about to reveal? What IS the relationship between Morrissey and Marr really like? What punishment will be handed down to Rat? Why is this parody piece entitled Ping Pong? Tune in next time, for more made up bullshit from the hairy backed blogger)

Day 904 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 2)

March 6, 2014, 10:02 am

≫ Next: Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 3)

≪ Previous: Day 903 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 1)

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(Welcome back. The story so far..... the members of the Blue Rose Society are all crammed into the world's Number 1 online Morrissey theme pub, the Twitterdilly Arms, and are currently witnessing The Mozziah give a bollocking to me, Rat. My offence was to *looks to the floor in shame* criticise Johnny Marr, which as Morrissey's Mam has pointed out, "NOBODY" does. Morrissey has not come alone to the Twitterdilly Arms, he also has with him the acid queen, Broken, and the dancing queen, Fifi (Morrissey once sang 'I am Two People', but that was ten years ago, things have moved on.) Morrissey has just introduced Fifi, and she takes to the stage)

(There is a loud round of applause from the audience and some whooping)

FIFI: (tossing back her hair) You are too kind. (to Boz) Can you turn the projector on please Boz, sweetie.

BOZ ASSISTED BY MANCLAD

(Boz goes over to a projector and turns it on. A picture of Michael Craig, Claudia Cardinale and Jean Sorel from the Visconti film 'Sandra' appears on a large screen behind Fifi.)




FIFI: Boz, this is the wrong picture, please move on with the slides.

(Boz presses a button and another picture of Cardinale appears. Boz presses again, and a picture appears on the screen of Visconti, Cardinale and Sorel at the premiere of 'Sandra'.)






(Boz presses the button once more, and a blurry picture of Morrissey wearing a 'FUCK MORRISSEY-SOLO.COM' t-shirt appears.)



FIFI: That's better. I hope you can all see that? Now, although the image is blurry, the message is pretty clear. Over the years, a lot of 'common knowledge' has been posted on that website about Morrissey and Marr, but common knowledge is NOT always the truth. It is much easier for people to assume, convince themselves, and believe that war is still raging between Moz and Marr, but I can assure you all, that there is no truth to that.

ROMINA: (Whispering to Loughton Lil) I am believing this Filfy. I don't belief that they are at war.

FIFI: There has been a tremendous amount of pain. (pauses). Pain on both sides. The kind of pain you never recover from. There has been disappointment, there have been tears, a lot of arguments, a lot of accusations. Yes.

MAM: (Whispering to Mikey Bracewell) God, (crosses herself), I remember those tears. Horrible times. Horrible, horrible times.

MIKEY: (Whispering back) Yes, and all of those dark, dark days throughout the years since. It never really goes away, although he's been so much better lately, which is all the more reason why we don't need that Rat creature dragging it up again, especially with the new album being made.

BROKEN: (Leaning over to Bracewell and whispering) Yeah, cunt!


MAM AND BRACEWELL

FIFI: Now let's watch a video. Boz, if you would do the honours please. (Boz flicks a switch, and a video of Johnny Marr being interviewed at the 2012 NME awards appears on the big screen- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APCFNXGgqm8. The video lasts for 3 minutes 35 seconds.)

GWO: (whispering to Fancy123 as the video starts) I've seen this before, it's the clip where Johnny says he'll reform the Smiths if the government steps down, and Johnny also says that he doesn't 'NOT' speak to Morrissey.

(The video finishes)

FIFI: Why does he say "I don't NOT speak to Morrissey? Surely a Marr-lie? No. This video is from 2012. They've NOT been NOT speaking since.... but is it really anyone's business? Would such information spark rumours about a Smiths reunion? Who would want that? No one in their right mind.

(A few of the audience look to the ground)

GWO: (Whispering to Fancy123) Well, I must be in somebody else's mind!

FANCY123: (Whispering back) I know what you mean. Perhaps I'm in yours and you're in mine. There's no harm in wanting to see a one night reunion, is there? Or perhaps just one little tour? There are so many of us who never got to see the Smiths play live.

FIFI: (continuing her address) People say, "Morrissey doesn't want to communicate". Yet another presumption. Morrissey does , but what you must all understand, is that it is STILL, and will probably always be, fairly painful, so communication in small amounts is the way to go if you want to protect yourself, isn't it? (pauses) Is it?

(The audience are quiet, but all nod. Rat looks across at Morrissey, who is sat quietly with his legs crossed, looking aimlessly towards the window. Moz has the Twit Arms resident cat, 'Pusscat' in his arms. There is perhaps the hint of a moist eye (Morrissey's eye, not the cat's!).


HEATHER: (Whispering to EARS) These words of Fifi' seem ever so real, Ears. I'm not convinced that we are just sat in the middle of one of Rat's made-up parodies, you know.

EARS: I know what you mean, and Moz's words at the end of part one of this parody, make me think that these aren't the first time these words have been said. Do you think we're getting to see the contents of one of Rat's emails?

HEATHER: Possibly, but if that's the case, we've got to try and work out what bits are real, and what bits Rat has made up. It's all a bit surreal as well, sitting in the middle of a parody piece, discussing it's contents as it's being written. Has anybody ever written anything like this before? We may have underestimated Rat, despite his poor spelling and grammar, this style of writing could well be a first!

BROKEN: (leaning over towards Heather and Ears and whispering) He's still a cunt!

FIFI: (continuing her address) Right then. I have given you some facts, and it is now time for my 'Ping pong theory'.

LOUGHTON LIL: (whispering to Comrade Harps) Ah, so that's why this parody is called Ping Pong.

FIFI: Rat was looking for references to ping pong when he discovered the Solow thread that led him to write his filth of day eight hundred and ninety eight. Rat's need for war clues took him straight into the hands of the devil, and what was most upsetting was that Rat pictured Morrissey as the devil, hiding behind anonymous vile comments. Had Rat's views been different on Johnny, maybe day eight hundred and ninety eight might have looked like this kind of ping pong instead. (to Boz) Next slide please Boz.

(Boz presses a button, and a large photo of Morrissey's 'Kill Uncle' LP cover appears on the screen, which shows Morrissey with his arms spread out.)

FIFI: Ping.



FATHER BRIAN: (whispering to President Kyle) I love this album, son.

FIFI: Next slide please Boz.

(Boz puts down his pint of lager (having moved on from the 'Chateau de Boorer'), and presses his button. A large photo of Johnny Marr's 'Messenger' LP appears on the screen, which shows Johnny Marr with his arms spread out.)

FIFI: Pong.




EDGE: (Whispering to Harrison) Wow! I'd never noticed that before.

FIFI: Next slide please Boz.

(Boz clicks his clicker, and a picture of Morrissey with his back against a wall appears on the screen)

FIFI: Ping.




FIFI: Next please Boz.

(Boz clicks and a picture of Johnny Marr with his back against a wall appears on the screen)

FIFI: Pong.







FIFI: And the next one please Boz.

(Boz finishes putting some nuts into his mouth, wipes his hand on his jacket, and then presses the switch. A photo, well known to MorrisseysWorlders, of Morrissey making circles around his eyes appears.)

FIFI: Ping. I look out for you.




FIFI: Next slide please Boz.

(Boz picks a peanut up off the floor, that he has just dropped, inspects it, and then puts it into his mouth, before pressing the clicker thing. Two photos of Johnny Marr making circles around his eyes appears on the screen.)

FIFI: Double pong. You look out for me.

(Meanwhile, outside the Twitterdilly Arms, a small group of people have their faces and ears pushed hard to the window, as they try to see and hear what is going on inside.)

STILL.I.CLING: (to Rosy Mires) What's going on Rosy, what can you see?

ROSY MIRES: (with glee in her voice) A-ha. It's the proof I've been waiting for. That picture of Morrissey making those circles around his eyes was the one thing from the  MorrisseysWorld blog that I could never explain, but if what that blonde woman in there is saying is right, then Moz was making the sign to Johnny, and NOT the Blue Rose lot. I knew it was all a load of made-up crap.

STILL.I.CLING: Oh, you are clever Rosy. Does that mean we can stop reading Rat's blog and peeking into the timeline's of the people in this internet pub? Can we let go now?

ROSY: Yes, I do believe we can.

CHUCK: But hold on, Rosy. You're getting your evidence from the place that you say is full of bullshit and lies. That's like Rat writing his Johnny Marr theory with evidence from Solow.

MARCUS: Hmm, Chuck's got a point, Rosy.

GOB: Rat's full of shit, full stop. Don't believe a word the arse-hole says.

CATHY: Well, I don't know what to believe. Best we all keep watching.

(The group re-position their faces to the window)

(Back inside the warmth of the Twit Arms)

FIFI: Next video please, Boz.

(Boz presses a button, and a video of You Have Killed Me by Morrissey starts to play on the screen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptUFfvTR294)




WILLOW: (to her group of friends) Oh, FAB!

FIFI: (with voice raised above the sound of the guitar intro) PING. Pay particular attention to these words:

'Til you came with the key
And you did your best but

As I live and breathe
You have killed meAnd there is no point saying this again
there is no point saying this again
But I forgive you, I forgive you
Always I do forgive you."
(The video plays, and the audience can't help but sing along. The video finishes.)

FIFI: Next video please, Boz.

(Boz puts down his 'grab-size' packet of Salt n Vinegar crisps, and presses the button. A video of 'New Town Velocity' by Johnny Marr starts to play on the screen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXEc9WZ1bkY)

ROMINA: (Whispering to Rat) Are you ok, Rat? This is a great song. You surely like this one?

RAT: Yes, I'm fine, thanks. And yes, I do like this song, I never said (pauses). Oh, it doesn't matter.

FIFI: (with voice raised above the guitar intro) PONG. Pay particular attention to these words:

Leave school for poetryI'm in something alright I know
Step out to symphonies
They play on for you and me

Hello you mystery
Mission velocity
Here comes our poetry
New town velocity"

(The video plays and some of the audience play air guitars. The video finishes.)

HEATHER: (Whispering to Ears) These pings and pongs are incredible.

FIFI: The Pongs from Johnny have only recently appeared in the shape of songs on his first real solo album. There are many Pings in Morrissey's albums and, before "The Messenger", Marr's Pongs were in the shape of letters or photos, or anything he intended to use.

COMRADE HARPS: (Whispering to GWO) Wow! This is mind-blowing stuff. It's up there with the recent Cocteau stuff.

FIFI: Has anyone ever asked Morrissey's review on "The Messenger"? Do any of you know?

(There is no response from the audience)

FIFI: I don't think so. Am I wrong?

(Again there is no response from the audience)

FIFI: Let's go back for a second to the last video. Play it again, Boz.

(Boz places his cheese and onion baguette on the bar, and presses a knob. The 'New Town Velocity' video re-starts.)




FIFI: Actually, can you just pause it for a second please, Boz, darling. (Boz pauses the video) This video was a true Marr-style pong. Every image means something. The album Rank was mentioned a while ago by both Morrissey and Marr, and I told you it was personal. Well, let's just say that NTV's pong could be Rank's ping, but this is not straight forward, so let's forget it.



FIFI: Back to NTV video. Johnny has always been highly interested in codes and hidden messages. He still is, and this video is a great example of that. Upon it's release, I can only imagine Morrissey receiving a letter from Marr indicating the clues to look for. The clues cannot be obvious, not even a little, because the last thing Johnny wants is for people to find out about the code and reveal it, as it would make the whole world crumble. Surely. But perhaps a few hints won't hurt, especially as nobody will ever believe anything written in this ridiculous blog. Everything written here is a figment of Rat's very overactive imagination.... isn't it? (To Boz) Ok, Boz, run VT.

(Boz starts the video)

FIFI: At 0:15 and 0:44, you will see Johnny walk backwards, but why? Where is he trying to go back to? Weird. At 0:25 (pauses). No, forget that one, it's too personal. At 0:27, you will see Johnny on Claverham Walk. Is everything backwards now? I can't see. Oh never mind, Let me move on.


FIFI: Wait! Is that the bloody Cocteau star on the wall of the underpass at 0:56? Where are my glasses? Wait. Why has the light gone out? More light, please, I can't see! Oh.... no, it's not Cocteau's star.

A DARKENED UNDERPASS

FIFI: I fear this may be too much information for you all to take in, in one sitting, so let us adjourn to the bar, perhaps even play a few songs on the jukebox, and come back for Part 3 later.


(What more has Fifi got to tell us? What punishment will Rat receive for his criticism of Johnny Marr? Will there be any references to Monty Python's Life of Brian in this parody piece? Will we get to hear from the group outside the pub again? Tune in next time, for the final part of Ping Pong.)

NB. It has today been announced that Morrissey will be headlining at 'Summer in the City' in Manchester, this July, but until this parody thing concludes, it cannot be mentioned within this blog.

Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 3)

March 7, 2014, 7:02 am

≫ Next: Day 906 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 4)

≪ Previous: Day 904 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 2)

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(The story so far. The Twitterdilly Arms is full of members of the Blue Rose Society. Rat, that's me, has overstepped the line by criticising Johnny 'fucking' Marr. Morrissey has told Rat he has overstepped the line. Fifi has started to give a Ping Pong theory about Morrissey and Marr's relationship, but has called for an adjournment to allow everybody to get a drink, and have a shimmy. Broken has taken the opportunity of the break to project a slide show of Justin Bieber pictures. Astraea has joined the gathering (fashionably late) and when Broken slips off to the loo (don't ask!), Astraea gives Boz some of her slides to project.)










MMM - FROM ASTRAEA'S SLIDE SHOW















VERUSCHKA - FROM ASTRAEA'S SLIDE SHOW

(The members of the Blue Rose Society have broken off into little groups, and are discussing what they have seen and heard so far. Rat is sitting alone, in a corner. Loughton Lil approaches Rat.)

LOUGHTON LIL: Cheer up Rat, worse things happen in a MorrisseysWorld parody sketch. Here, I've bought you a pint.
(Rat smiles half-heartedly, and wipes an eye.)

RAT: Thanks Lil, I didn't mean to... (he pauses).... oh, never mind.

(Heather, Ears, Harrison, Comrade Harps, Manclad, GWO and Edge are standing in a group slightly away from the bar)

HARRISON: (excitedly, to the group) I just cannot believe what we have been hearing and seeing. If only the media knew about this place. The information that Fifi is giving us is just incredible!

HEATHER: (to the group) Well hold onto your hats, because I think there is even more to come. I was in the rest room a minute ago, and Fifi was in there, reapplying her lipstick. She asked me if I'd been listening to the re-issue of Your Arsenal, which I said I had. Fifi then smiled and said that after tonight, she thinks that we will all have 'Seasick, yet still docked' on repeat. She then said, "it's a mind bomb", winked at me, and then headed back to the dance floor.

EARS: Well she's not on the dance floor now, look!

( Ears points to a table, which Fifi is standing on (bare foot, of course), dancing to 'Down in Mexico' by The Coasters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1I5TROqpkE)

FIFI DANCES, WHILE MANCLAD (IN THE GLASSES) ADMIRES HER SHIMMIES

(Loughton Lil joins Heather's group)

COMRADE HARPS: (to the group) What has 'Seasick' got to do with Johnny Marr? I've just grabbed the pub's copy of 'Mozipedia' from behind the bar, and according to Simon Goddard, the song is based on Joni Mitchell's 'The Silky Veils of Ardour'. There is no mention of Johnny.

EDGE: But there is also no mention of Jean Cocteau under the 'Jeanne' entry, and yet Fifi's theory on that is much more likely than Goddard's, so we can't base that book on facts, can we!

(At this point, Romina and Bunny Gal approach the group. They are carrying a basket of goods.)



ROMINA & BUNNY GAL

ROMINA: (In Italian accent.To the group) Would any off yew like to buy a weep?

LOUGHTON LIL: (Sounding confused) A weep?

ROMINA: Yes, a weep. To weep the Rat with, in the flogging.

LOUGHTON LIL: Oh! A whip!

ROMINA: Yes, this is what I am saying.

LOUGHTON LIL: We can't whip Rat!

MANCLAD: (to Romina) How much?

BUNNY GAL: The single strap is fifteen pounds, and the six lash whip is a hundred pounds.

MANCLAD: I'll take the six lash. No pain, no gain, as the old penguins used to say at my school.

GWO: I'll take the single strap please, Romina.

(Willow comes skipping over.)

WILLOW: Are you selling whips for the flogging?

ROMINA: That ease right.

WILLOW: Then I'll have one please. I'm looking forward to this.

HEATHER: Yes, me too, it should be good one. Local boy.

MEMBERS OF THE BRS WITH THEIR NEWLY PURCHASED WHIPS

(Boz has slipped outside for some fresh air)

PASSER BY: (to Boz) Excuse me, somebody told me that the Mozziah might be here. Is it true?

BOZ: No, mate. I'm Boz, if that helps, and there is a mess alright, but no Mozziah. Sorry.

PASSER BY: Never mind, thanks.






THE MESS BY THE PROJECTOR

('So Little Time' by Diana Dors fades out from the jukebox, and the Dors lookalike, Fifi, stops dancing, and walks barefoot back to the stage to resume her theory. The members of the Blue Rose Society gather around to listen.)


LOUGHTON LIL: (Whispering to Heather) It's all very well Rat starting part three of this parody piece by suggesting that Fifi looks like Diana Dors, but ever since part two, I've been picturing her to look like Claudia Cardinale.

HEATHER: The beauty of this whole phenomenal journey is that you can picture anybody as anything, or anyone.

LOUGHTON LIL: Fair point, Heather. I wonder if anybody sees me as Clarke Gable?

(Heather looks away, and says nothing.)

FIFI: (Addressing the whole audience) Right then, where was I? Oh yes, 'New Town Velocity'. Can you start the video again please Boz?

(Boz places his pint glass on the bar, and re-starts the projector. The video for 'New Town Velocity' by Johnny Marr is projected onto a large screen at the back of the stage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXEc9WZ1bkY)

GWO: (shouting out) HEAVENS TO BETSY! L'OO'K at 0:42. PING PONG. Sorry, Fifi, forgetting my manners here a bit. I'd better play this one quietly with myself. Tiddly. Wink.

FIFI: (laughing) No, it's ok, GWO. We can share it with everybody, after all, we are all friends here. (calling to Boz) Pause the video for a minute please Boz, and please play the two slides that are behind the bar. (Boz collects two slides from behind the bar, and projects the first one; which is of Johnny Marr (from the 0:42 mark of the NTV video) sitting down.)

FIFI: (addressing the audience) Ping.



(The second image then comes onto the screen. It is of Morrissey sitting in exactly the same pose.)

FIFI: Pong.




(There are gasps from the audience)

FIFI: Identical, aren't they? The 'exact' same pose. They could almost be twins. (calling to Boz) Re-start the video please Boz.

(Boz puts down the new bottle of 'Chateau Boorer' that he has opened, and re-starts the video of 'New Town Velocity')

FIFI: (to the audience) Look at that matrix style wall at 3:36. It smells rank.

WRONG WALL.... BUT CLOSE ENOUGH

HEATHER: (Whispering to Rat) Just what is it about Rank that we can't see?

RAT: I don't know. Despite everything that Moz has told me in those emails, he just won't tell me that, he says it's too personal between him and Johnny, but I think it might have something to do with New Town Velocity. He told me that what Johnny has done with this video, he finds highly entertaining. He also added that that there are few people in this world who can shake your brain as much as a code-writer does. Oh, Heather, I'm in deep shit here, I thought I was being Morrissey's friend by criticising Johnny's vocal on 'Meat is Murder', but the love Moz has for Johnny runs deeper than the deepest sea.

HEATHER: Yes, yes it does.

(The video comes to an end.)

FIFI: So, is my New Town Velocity theory to far-fetched? Listen to the lyrics. What's to add? To me, the whole song and the video are filled with clues, and it's clear who they are aimed at, or is it just my twisted mind? MOVING ON! Ping, hiding inside Morrissey's upcoming album, 'World Peace is None  of Your Business'.

(There is a gasp from the audience)

FIFI: Oh, don't get too excited; you aren't getting an exclusive with that one, you'll find that True To You has just published it. Twelve tracks. Perhaps we should ask Morrissey how he feels about it?

(Everybody looks at Morrissey, who is still sat stroking the cat)

MOZ: (to the audience) I am Beyond ecstatic.

RAT: (whispering excitedly to Heather) Quick, get a pen. Can the words BLUE ROSE SOCIETY be made from the title of the album?

(Heather goes to get a pen from her hand-bag)

MOZ: (to the audience) I expect that one or two of you will already be looking for clues in the title of the new LP, but to save you time, there is NO 't'.

RAT: (Whispering to Heather) Sly bugger.

MOZ: (to the audience) Perhaps this might be a good time for me to mention the Blue Rose Society, just incase any of you are wondering if I am still interested in it.

HEATHER: (Whispering to Ears) I've been wondering this.

MOZ: I would dearly love to have roses brought to me at the upcoming tour. For these past three years, I have asked you to bring roses, and nothing has changed. I will bless any of you who take a rose to one of my concerts, and get it to me.



(Meanwhile, outside the Twitterdilly Arms, the small group of ex-Blue Rose members continue to watch and listen through a window.)

GOB: Has that bastard Rat been banned yet?

CHUCK: Ssh! I can't hear a bloody thing.

MARCUS: What's Moz saying, Chuck?

CHUCK: Be quiet, 'lumpy', I'm trying to listen.

MARCUS: 'Limpy'?

CHUCK: Hold on, Morrissey has just said something like, "blessed are the rose takers".

MARCUS: Did you call me 'Limpy'? "Blessed are the rose takers". Oh good, I took one once, so that must mean me.

GOB: Forget the fucking roses, what punishment has that arse hole got?

LIZZY: They haven't got to that bit yet, but I expect he'll probably get a week ban or something.

GOB: A WEEK! I got a life ban for mocking suicide and making homophobic statements, whilst that Rat bastard has criticised Johnny Marr. He has to get a longer sentence than me!

CHUCK: Well, the hierarchy of the BRS always look after their own, so I doubt Rat will get a ban at all. I've got a few theories on the hierarchy of the BRS. I think I'll go off and write a blog about it.

MARCUS: I'm not convinced that there actually is a hierarchy as such, but I'm going to go off and write a one act play about all we've seen. If Rat's got any sense, he'll get out of the BRS as soon as he can, and go his own way. As a wise man once said, "You are all individuals, you are all different." I want to be like that man. (Marcus limps off, followed by Chuck.)

(BACK INSIDE THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS. Morrissey has sat back down, and Fifi is once again addressing the audience.)


FIFI: Pong. Hiding inside Johnny Marr's upcoming new album. The ping pong game has been going on for years. Is the Morrissey song 'He knows I'd love to see him' a ping?
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aamTIyhGr90)

(Boz presses a button and a picture of Morrissey's Bona Drag album cover appears)




BROKEN: (shouting out) I love that picture. (Turning to Morrissey) Hey, Moz, you aren't playing ping pong with JB too, are you? (Broken goes to the projector, and inserts a slide. An image of Justin Bieber in a red prison outfit appears on the screen.)



BROKEN: (to the audience) They could almost be twins!

(Morrissey looks to the skies and tuts quietly to himself.)

MORRISSEY: Broken, I brought you here tonight for your acidic wit, and for you to insult Rat, can we please leave Bieber out of this parody sketch thing, there are some serious issues to be covered.

BROKEN: Are you saying that Bieber isn't serious? That is so typical of you. Always full of your own self importance. That boy is currently sliding towards the gutter, and all you care about is you. Well, you and Johnny. Always you and Johnny. (Broken turns to Rat) And YOU'RE a cunt!

(Boz Boorer opens another bag of crisps.)

FIFI: Let me continue. In the song 'He knows I'd love to see him', there is the lyric, "'Cause I lived in the arse of the world." Boz, next video please.

(Boz presses the button and a video of 'We share the same skies' by The Cribs starts to play: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DbcAl3EbIs

FIFI: Pong. Pay attention to the words, "This town has got you down and I know I was helping you out, While your hope died under northern skies." And now for another. I like this one. It might sound like a mean ping, but it's really not. (calling to Boz) Next video please Boz, honey.

(Boz places the crisp packet on his lap, and starts the video. The Morrissey song 'Speedway' begins to play on the screen, with the lyrics also displayed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlLP37RQ6Y8)

FIFIi: Pay particular attention to the words:

"I never said
I could have mentioned your name
I could have dragged you in
Guilt by implication
By association
I've always been true to you
In my own strange way
I've always been true to you
In my own sick way
I'll always stay true to you"

FIFI: Strange way or Strangeways? And now for Pong. Next slide please, Boz.

(Boz presses his clicker, and a photograph appears of a Guardian piece from 2007, entitled 'Pieces of me' by Johnny Marr.




FIFI: Item number eleven on this list of Johnny's, is a Speedway badge. As well as having a job on speedways when he was young, the fact that JM uses that badge as part of his most favourite objects surely means something? Or not. What do you think?

EARS: (Whispering to Heather) This is all just unbelievable. Do you think Fifi is for real, or are we just sat in the middle of a parody, and Rat is making this all up?

HEATHER: No. Rat doesn't know the first thing about Johnny. This is all about Moz teaching Rat a lesson, and making sure that in future he shows some respect. It's also incredibly fascinating, so I wish Rat would stop wasting time by putting needless dialogue into this parody, such as this conversation, and just get on with the ping pong.

EARS: I wanted to read back through Day 898 of Rat's blog, to see what it was that he had written about Johnny that annoyed Moz so much, but it's gone.

HEATHER: Yes, I know. And that piece took him eight hours to write, so ask yourself this, why did he remove it?

EARS: Because it upset Moz, I presume.

HEATHER: Exactly. But the one question that anybody who doesn't believe in this whole MorrisseysWorld thing should be asking, is WHY would somebody who is NOT Morrissey, get so annoyed at Rat for publishing something?

LOUGHTON LIL: (Leaning over to Heather and Ears) I was thinking the same thing too. Do you think that the penny will drop with any of those who don't believe?

HEATHER: I very much doubt it. There has been three years worth of evidence proving that Morrissey is behind both MorrisseysWorld and the Blue Rose Society, and NOBODY has believed that, so I very much doubt that they'll suddenly start believing based on something written by that cranky old Rat placed in a parody piece. Anyway, can we please stop having this conversation, and get back to Fifi.

LOUGHTON LIL: Yes, sorry. I'm now picturing Fifi as Bardot.

HEATHER: Are you really, or is this Rat using artistic licence YET AGAIN, just so that he can put a picture of Brigitte in his blog? It's pathetic.



LOUGHTON LIL'S IMAGE OF FIFI

FIFI: I fear I may be giving you all too much information again, and I know that poor Rat is keen to know his fate, so I will finish my ping pong theory with this. (to Boz) Next video please Boz.

(Boz finishes emptying his wine bottle into his glass, and puts on the next video, which is a video of 'Gravitate to me' by The The: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfK3l0qcJeg)

FIFI: Ping.

HEATHER: (Whispering to her small group) This song is from the album 'Mind bomb'. This must be the mind bomb that Fifi mentioned to me in the rest room.

FIFI: I will leave you all to read the lyrics for yourselves. They include, "I know you from a previous incarnation." It is from 1989. (to Boz) Last video please Boz.

(Boz drinks the last of his wine, burps, and presses play. A video appears on the screen of 'Seasick, yet still docked': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv1zy-7-PgE)

FIFI: Pong. Mmmm. From 1992. "I am the lighthouse, I am the sea, seasick, dock" (pauses). It's no jigsaw, it's common sense. Am I right in thinking that the beginning of both 'Gravitate to me' and 'Seasick' are slightly similar? And the album, Mind bomb! Is that a ticking bomb at the beginning of 'Seasick'? Jigsaw. Theories. Bullshit. Jigsaw.

(Fifi sits down, and Morrissey stands up.)

MOZ: (looking at Rat) And now for the sentencing.

TO BE CONTINUED.

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Day 906 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 4)

March 9, 2014, 9:58 am

≫ Next: Day 907 - Morrissey World Peace is None of Your Business

≪ Previous: Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 3)

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(Previously..... Rat (that's me) has upset Morrissey by both criticising Johnny Marr, and also having the audacity to suggest that Morrissey might have criticised JM. The Blue Rose Society are all in attendance at the Twitterdilly Arms (the world's number 1 internet Morrissey theme pub), where they have listened to Fifi present a 'theory' on the actual relationship between Morrissey and Marr. Fifi's theory has been a 'mind bomb', with some unbelievable revelations. We now join proceedings, to see what punishment is to be dished out to Rat by Our Mozzer, for committing such a heinous crime. As Mam has pointed out, "NOBODY" criticises Johnny Marr.)

MOZ: (to the audience) On day 898 of Rat's odd little, 'Following the Mozziah' blog thing, he decided to take it upon himself to write an article, suggesting that I didn't think much to Johnny Marr's work since the Smiths. As we have now heard from Fifi, this is NOT the case, and as Fifi correctly pointed out, NOBODY has ever actually asked me my thoughts on "The Messenger". (pauses briefly) Perhaps I should post my review of Johnny's album on Rat's blog.

LOUGHTON LIL: (calling out) That would be great Moz.

MOZ: The only problem is, do I actually want Rat's blog to remain, or should Rat be banished from the Blue Rose Society forever?

BROKEN: (calling out) Ban the cunt!

MOZ: (looking at Rat, who in turn looks to the floor) Oh, Rat, Rat, Rat. Poor lonely Rat. (To the audience) He sits in his bedsit all day and all night, with nothing better to do than to write about me, and when he can't find a story, he makes one up. Typical journalist, although of course he isn't a journalist, he's just a hairy backed blogger with a dodgy ticker. Oh, what to do with him. Broken is right, of course, I should ban him, but that blog of his does have it's moments. Bizarrely, despite Rat's poor spelling and dreadful grammar, his blog has received 420,000 hits, which is MORE than my MorrisseysWorld blog received. It is the equivalent of The Wanted being more popular than the Smiths. We live in a messed up world.

THE SINGING EQUIVALENT OF FOLLOWING THE MOZZIAH

MOZ: To Rat's credit, he has had the good sense to remove the offensive article about Johnny Marr, and luckily, Johnny will never have read this blog thing. Johnny certainly has no idea that I use twitter and the internet ( momentarily pauses in thought).... at least, I don't think he does. The fact still remains that Rat wrote the offensive piece on Day 898, so although it may have gone, the words, like so many words written before, have left yet another scar on my heart, where the tissue is wearing thin. I can only take so many stabs. Also to Rat's credit, is the fact that he has removed Day 810 of his blog, in which he pretentiously claimed to be the 'New Johnny Marr'. (looking at Rat) There will NEVER be a new Johnny Marr, and YOU, Rat, are not fit to even look at the soles of Johnny's shoes, let alone think about tying his laces. Don't EVER forget that. (Rat looks to the floor, with a tear in his eye.)


MORRISSEY LOOKS DOWN AT MARR'S SHOES, WHICH RAT CANNOT DO

(Morrissey turns his back to the audience and walks to the back of the stage, where he drops down onto one knee. After a few minutes, Morrissey gets up, turns around, and walks back to the front of the stage.)

HEATHER: (Whispering to her small group of friends, which includes EARS, Willow, Romina, Loughton Lil and Comrade Harps) I think he has made his decision. I do hope Rat don't get a life ban, I'd miss his blog.

ROMINA: Oh, I acree Heter. I don't theenk I could surfive without my daily feex off Following the Mezzanine. Perhaps the Rat weal be lucky and just get a mump ban, like Chuck.

LOUGHTON LIL: Hey, that's a point. Chuck's one month ban ended on February 1st, where is she?

ROMINA: I don't think she eez wanting to come here anymore. It eez a shame what 'append with her and Lizzy and Sabine. I weesh they would come back, but Broken doesn't want them here, so I guess that eez that.

COMRADE HARPS: I hope Rat doesn't get a ban, this whole Ping Pong thing between Moz and Marr is just amazing, I can't wait to look for more of them. That video that Fifi showed us of New Town Velocity has reminded me of Morrissey's videos for 'Tomorrow' and 'I Have Forgiven Jesus'. They too feature a lot of walking around urban areas in black and white. It really IS fascinating to think that this has been going on right in front of our eyes, and yet nobody has noticed.

EARS: A bit like MorrisseysWorld then.

COMRADE HARPS: Exactly.

WILLOW: Well that 'Mind Bomb' revelation of Fifi's, and the whole 'Ping Pong' thing has reminded me of Bjork's 'Army of Me'. Did any of you know that 'Army of Me' is influenced by Morrissey? Also there is a bomb at the end of the video, and the bomb has 'Smiths' written on it. The bomb explodes at the end, and Bjork is reunited with her brother. It is the bomb from 'Ask' bringing them together. It's a Bjork 'Pong' to 'Ask's''Ping'.

COMRADE: Blimey. This Ping Pong is going on everywhere.


THE 'SMITHS' BOMB IN BJORK'S VIDEO

MOZ: (To the audience) As I have been saying for many months, I would like my fans to bring roses to my concerts, and as Rat has been one of the few to bring them, I have to forgive him.

MIKEY BRACEWELL: (Whispering to Mam) He's going soft in his old age.

MOZ: I have also found, in my experience, that when it comes to passing judgement, those in position of authority usually get things hideously wrong. I mean, just look at the nose picker and the plate of untouched sandwiches who passed judgement on me. I have therefore decided to let Rat choose his own punishment. Despite day 898, which will never again be mentioned, I trust his judgement.

MIKEY BRACEWELL: (Whispering to Mam) He really is going soft.

(Morrissey stands up and walks towards the jukebox. Broken and Fifi follow him.)

MOZ: I shall now leave you with a song.

EARS: (Whispering to her group of friends) I know what he's going to play. 'Disappointed'. Fifi was playing it in here on Saturday night.

GWO: You may be right, but it is now over a week since Rat wrote the article about JM, and I think Moz might have mellowed. In fact, it has taken Rat so long to write this bloody parody, I think we've all forgotten what happened in Part's one, two and three. I'd be very surprised if anybody's still reading this now, except probably us deluded dozen.

(Morrissey puts a coin in the jukebox, and the song 'I Like You' starts to play. Moz turns to face the audience.)

MOZ: (To the audience) Elegance is a passed fantasy. One continues to read, to laugh, to soak up and soak in, to frown, and more than anything else, to plot. This is MorrisseysWorld.

(Morrissey then rips off his shirt, thus revealing his bare torso, which has written across it 'IMPERSONATE ME'. Morrissey tosses his shirt to the audience and runs out of the pub. Broken throws a two fingered gesture to the audience, and runs out too. Fifi picks up her shoes,  flicks her long blond hair, and gracefully tiptoes bare foot from the pub with Morrissey and Broken.)



(As Morrissey leaves, the audience go into a frenzy, fighting for his shirt. Vulgar Angie slams an elbow into the face of Clover Dean, whilst Romina, screaming like a banshee, launches herself across a row of chairs in a desperate attempt to get to the shirt first. Willow and Heather are too busy singing along to 'I Like You' to make any sort of grab, but the fighting is all in vain as the shirt has already been claimed...... by President Kyle!)

(Outside the pub, as Morrissey comes out, GOB shouts something irrelevant, and is ignored. Moz gets into a waiting Mercedes, and drives away, passing Rosy Mires and Still.I.Cling.)

STILL.I.CLING: (Excitedly to Rosy) Rosy, I think that was Morrissey in that car.

ROSY: Yes, I think you might be right, although if he's just come out of that pub, then it wasn't him, he would NEVER go in there.

STILL.I.CLING: Eh? But you just agreed that it was him! I'm confused. Either you think it was him, or you don't. You can't base it on what you think he may or may not do!

ROSY: Don't you worry you're pretty little head with thoughts like that, you stick with me, kid. Now, let's go and find Uncle Skinny.

(Rosy and Stilli skip off into the sunset. Meanwhile, back inside the Twitterdilly Arms, the jukebox is pumping, and a party is in full swing, but a quiet hairy backed figure is sitting alone in the corner. It is Rat. Loughton Lil approaches him.)

LOUGHTON LIL: What's up, Rat? You should be pleased. You've not only crossed the Moz and lived to tell the tale, but it would appear that he still likes you, and has given you a pardon.

RAT: I think it may be time to end Following the Mozziah, Lil. I started it because I thought MorrisseysWorld might be the work of Moz, and now I not only know it's him, but I've made friends with him. I don't want to keep upsetting him by writing things he doesn't like. I just feel that I should stop blogging.

LIL: Rat, you've known since Day 1 that it was Moz behind MorrisseysWorld, you silly sod. Nothing has changed. The past nine hundred days of your blog have been about trying to convince the outside world, or at least Morrissey's own fans that he is on the internet, and that he is giving secret signs. Nothing has changed there either. And what is more, all the time that YOU are blogging, they will all continue to think that it was YOU behind MorrisseysWorld. And further more, a new album title has just been announced which contain the words BLUE ROSE hidden in it. Rat, the fun has only just begun.

(A smile appears on Rat's whiskered face).

The End

Day 907 - Morrissey World Peace is None of Your Business

March 10, 2014, 10:18 am

≫ Next: Day 908 - Rocket Lollies, Togger.... and the new Top 50 Chart.

≪ Previous: Day 906 - Ping Pong (A Parody - Part 4)

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At last, my marathon of a Ping Pong parody is over, and I have returned to reality. My lesson has been learned..... or is it learnt? Either way, I now know that NOBODY criticises Johnny Marr, although at the very same time that I was receiving my bollocking from Morrissey for my criticism of Johnny, Morrissey was, er...... well, look at this twitter posting from '@MorrisseysMum' (Morrissey) from March 2nd:

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 2

@MozMarrLyrics Lucky for him he eventually met the Crabs and the Modestly talented Mouse.

The 'Mum' tweet was sent in response to this, which had been tweeted by '@MozMarrLyrics':

In fairness, Mum wasn't exactly criticising JM, she is having a (tongue in cheek?) pop at the talents of the Cribs and Modest Mouse, and I guess Fifi's theory didn't actually contain any positive references to Johnny's work in either the Cribs or Modest Mouse, but still! I therefore conclude that the actual lesson I have really learnt (learned?), is that nobody can criticise Johnny, except Morrissey, but then Morrissey and Johnny are twins, so it must break Morrissey's heart to see Johnny wasting his talent with people that he sees as beneath Johnny. I do honestly believe that both Morrissey and Marr would back each other to the end of the world.


TO THE END OF THE WORLD

The other lesson I have learned (learnt?) from Fifi's recent theory, is that Johnny Marr is heavily into codes and hidden messages. I have noticed with a lot of the imagery involved in Johnny's work, that it features rectangles, squares, boxes and straight lines. I may well be barking up the wrong tree, as often I do, but I am determined to try and crack the 'Rank' code, so I have been looking at the album sleeve again. Could this picture from inside the cover have anything to do with Johnny's codes?






FROM THE INSIDE OF RANK - CODED?

There are a lot of squares in the above picture. The other interesting thing about this picture is that the clock on the wall says 7.25, but why would Smiths fans be fighting over a shirt at 7.25? *Penny drops* Oh, the clock must have stopped! Now, what was it that Fifi said about that wall in the New Town Velocity video, "it smells rank." Aghhhhhh, what is the Rank code?

Fifi's 'theories' are always fascinating, although as to whether of not Morrissey and Marr are really playing Ping Pong through their work, who knows? The one thing that is certain, is that the Deluded Dozen will be looking for the signs.

Fifi also mentioned recently that she had a theory as to who 'Chris the wonder-kid' was, in Morrissey's version of 'Drive-In Saturday'. Although Fifi didn't share her theory, I 'reckon' it's NOT Chrissie Hynde after all, I think it's Johnny! Could it be that one Christmas, Morrissey jokingly nicknamed Johnny Marr 'Chris Marr s'? Oh, I'm being silly now...... aren't I?

HAPPY CHRIS MARR S?

Anyway, after what happened with Day 898, it is probably best if I get off the subject of Johnny Marr right NOW, before I upset the Gods again. And on the subject of Gods, or Godlike Geniuses actually, the NME has today announced that it's readers have voted to choose their Godlike Genius for 2015, and the person they have chosen is...... MORR-EE-SAY! Morrissey doesn't of course need the readers of the smelly old NME to tell him he is a Godlike genius, he already knows, although 'Godlike' is the wrong word, he is of course, simply 'God'!

GOD

It will be interesting to see if the NME decide to actually carry out their reader's wish, and award Moz with the 'honour'(?) next year. I expect they will, as they must be DESPERATE to rebuild bridges with Mozzer, but the question is, will Morrissey be prepared to attend their award ceremony to accept it, or in the words of Noel Gallagher, would he be "too cool for this shit"? Incidentally, the Gallagher quote was about David Bowie, who came SECOND in the NME vote. The world is at peace.........


........... which is a lame link to my main topic of the day, Morrissey's new album title, 'World Peace is None of Your Business'. Oh sweet Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. As I pointed out briefly in yesterday's parody piece, the album title does of course contain the words BLUE ROSE hidden within it. Of course it does. It was always going to. It HAD to.


BLUE ROSE - HIDDEN IN THE TITLE OF WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS


This whole wonderful journey just gets better and better. Could Blondie have come up with this sort of thing? No! Move over ALL Godlike Geniuses, NONE of you are fit to even look at the soles of Morrissey's beautifully hand-crafted shoes, he IS GOD, he IS a GENIUS! (I'm getting excitable again, aren't I? I would NEVER win any awards for being cool, but do I care? Do I care? Do I care?)

The fact that BLUE ROSE is hidden in the title of the new LP will, of course, be missed by the masses. It will only be in the year 2073 that historians will finally believe it to be true. For now, I, along with Comrade Harps, Heather Cat, EARS, GWO, Loughton Lil, Father Brian, Yuna, Willow, Vulgar Angie, Clover Dean, President Kyle, MancLad, Romina, Fancy123, CC, Harrison, Edge, Marcus the Greek (Yes he still believes), Jjazmine, Bunny Gal, Stephanie, Chio and one or two others, remain the only ones who can see it. We remain, the DELUDED DOZEN, but surely our numbers will grow? SURELY?

Also hidden within 'WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS' are the words Boorer, Francoise, France, red roses and there are even a couple of 'OO's for good measure. ALL coincidence. EVERYTHING is ALWAYS a coincidence. The question that everybody should be asking, is WHY this particular title for an album, but of course no journalists have any investigative intuition these days, so if they can't phone hack, they haven't a clue. The newspapers and websites are all full of the new title of the album, but not ONE single newspaper has questioned WHY it is called 'WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS', but then again, as Fifi pointed out, not one journalist has ever asked Morrissey for his thoughts on Johnny Marr's album. Why does NOBODY ask the right questions anymore?


FRANCOISE - HIDDEN IN THE TITLE OF MORRISSEY'S NEW ALBUM



I WAS GOING TO PLACE A PICTURE OF BOZ BOORER HERE, BUT DECIDED TO POST ANOTHER OF FRANCOISE INSTEAD. SORRY BOZ, BUT SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!

So, WHY 'WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS'? The only thing that google seems to throw up is this:

World Peace

What goes wrong with humans is they say, “I want WORLD peace.” And we say world peace is none of your business. Personal peace is. You can’t orchestrate world peace. The only way you could ever orchestrate world peace is if you could convince everyone to want exactly the same thing. And you don’t have a prayer of doing that. There is no possibility of getting everyone to agree with you, you see. So then you say, “Yes, but what if I ignore him and so I disengage him [the enemy] from my vibration.” Good word, isn’t it? I’ve deactivated so I’ve disengaged him from my vibration. “But what about the others that he’s trampling? What about those that don’t know as much as I do?” And we say, now you’re back involved. In other words, you get to choose. And we’re not for a moment suggesting that getting involved is wrong. What we’re getting at here is—there are a lot of people that want purpose in life; they want reason; they want something to focus upon. In other words, the war or the cause—at what point does anyone get to decide that it’s gone past nobility and patriotism and into terrorism and overtaking other countries. In other words, It’s really a fine line who gets to decide who the bad guy is and who the good guy is. And always the good guy is you and the bad guy is them—and you all think that. So finally when you say, “I don’t have to figure it out for any of them. And I’m going to align with the energy of well-being and follow that path.” Then it gets easier for you to watch everyone else play out their games. Every now and again, Esther will find herself straddling the line. She can’t decide if she’s happy that the government is making effort to protect all of you or if she is worried that the government in all of its efforts are part of the cause of the problem. And then Esther discovers that there’s no right answer to that. But the answer for her is: withdraw from the thought and live happily ever after. And it is our promise to her and generations that follow—YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRYABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE IS DOING IF YOU ARE TAKING CARE OFYOUR OWN VIBRATION. We would say that to an individual, but we could never say it to a nation. A nation is made up of too many different vibrational beings, you see. As an uplifter we hear the basis of these questions because you are a teacher to the very core of your being. And it’s not any easy thing to know what you know and to live a life that is stable and good-feeling and see others around you that have not figured it out or who cannot find their way. KNOWING YOUR WAY IS THEBEST POSSIBILITY OF THEM FINDING THEIR WAY.

Abraham—Boise, ID 7-3-02

The above piece comes from a Spiritual Well-being group called Abraham-Hicks, who specialise in the teachings of Transcendental Mediation, or TM for short. Of course, even the thought that Morrissey might have anything to do with such a group, or such a practice, would have the masses laughing their socks off, and they would all cry, 'Morrissey would NEVER do that', because, of course, they KNOW. People ALWAYS KNOW what Morrissey would or wouldn't do.

But what is TM all about? Well, let me leave it to Russell Brand to explain, because TM is what he practices, and guess who has a TM Foundation? David 'Twin Peaks' Lynch. Jigsaw, jigsaw, jigsaw.
Here is Rustle, with David Lynch, talking about TM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTG4UcxR_8M

DAVID LYNCH AND RUSTIC BRAND.... HAVING A NAP

Before 'Parody Moz' disappeared from twitter, one of his last tweets was regarding 'meditation'. So, is Morrissey's new album title taken from the Abraham-Hicks piece, and if so, is Morrissey involved with Abraham-Hicks, or the Lynch Foundation, or meditation in any way? As I am now in email contact with Morrissey, I could of course ask him, but I am pretty sure that he would tell me that the influence for his new LP title is, well, none of my business. Actually, he probably would't be quite that rude, but one thing is for sure, he DEFINITELY wouldn't tell me!

My theory is this: Through Morrissey's friendship with Russell, the subject of TM has been mentioned (well it would be, wouldn't it), and it has aroused Morrissey's interest enough for him to research the subject in full. During this research, I would guess that Morrissey stumbled across the Abraham-Hicks article which mentions 'World Peace is None of Your Business', and the phrase appealed to him, A) Because it is a GREAT phrase, and B) Because, as I have previously written, it contains the letters to spell BLUE ROSE, without it being too obvious. There is NO C).

Perhaps Morrissey does meditate, but I very much doubt that we will ever find out, and do we really need to know?


A MEDITATING MOZ?



(NOTE - DAVID LYNCH'S TM TECHNIQUE SEEMS FAR MORE AGRESSIVE THAN RUSSELL'S. IN FACT, LYNCH IS THE ONLY ONE FROWNING.)

And finally Cyril, and finally Esther (not the one from Abraham-Hicks, I am referring to her from That's Life), here is a beautiful poem written by the father of the President of the BLUE ROSE SOCIETY. I do so love our deluded little group!

Father Brian9 March 2014 20:34

Mothers cry, while Fathers stress
to be polite is a disgrace
as children mock you to your face

every day the papers show
that crime and rape did upward go
the things done in laboratories
are stashed away in lavatories

drugs and sex aren't hard to find
it seems as if the worlds gone blind
for what the people fail to see
is messing up society

as Dads no longer head their home
and kids all sit, and chat by phone
what once to all has been a home
is looking like a war torn zone

no longer do you find that kids
are playing in the park
for it's become a hideout place
for gangsters after dark

what once was right now seems so wrong
no more joy and no more song
as what this all was meant to be
lies buried in a cemetery

by telling you these things my aim
is not to make you mad
it's just to tell another truth
which soon will make you glad

amidst the chaos of this world
of hurt, despair and pain
and hate along with treachery
all done for selfish gain

there's this one thing I know of
believe with all my heart
that when I bend my knees to pray
Morrissey will show the Way!

Day 908 - Rocket Lollies, Togger.... and the new Top 50 Chart.

March 11, 2014, 10:15 am

≫ Next: Day 911 - Morrisseys World Peace is None of Your Business

≪ Previous: Day 907 - Morrissey World Peace is None of Your Business

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Despite Morrissey's numerous run-ins with the NME, he must have awoken this morning with a little spring in his step, after all, it wasn't the smelly old writers/editors of the NME that have just voted him as the Number 1 Godlike Genius, it was the readers aka, the music buying public, aka the fans, aka the people who really matter. In fact, forget the spring in his step, Morrissey will be 'chaffered to buggery', 'Over the moon', 'pleased as punch'..... I'm struggling for the right words..... Hmm, let me put it in journalist's terms, 'Heaven knows, Morrissey won't be miserable now.' That's better!


MORRISSEY - HAPPY IN THE HAZE OF A GODLIKE HOUR (IS THAT A CODED WALL BEHIND?)


I think that I am right in believing, that the NME Godlike Genius Award is usually decided by the editors, so for the readers to have chosen Morrissey above Bowie, York, Dylan, McCartney etc is HUGE. It is a phenomenal achievement, and proves that I am writing about the right person. 2013 was a pretty shit year for Moz (except for him having me watch him in New York, oh, and his book selling a few copies), but 2014 is starting to look as though it will be better than any other, EVER.

 There is a new Number 1 LP coming out, there is a US tour, hopefully a UK tour, and Moz remains free to come and go on twitter without being harassed, because thanks to his own godlike genius, he created a parody character of himself, which nobody believes to be him. The PUBLIC Morrissey is bigger than ever, whilst the PRIVATE Morrissey who frequents the Twitterdilly Arms, is smaller than Little Jimmy Scott.

LITTLE JIMMY SCOTT

In fact, Morrissey's current pessoa's of choice, Fifi and Astraea (who are pretty much like twins), are hardly attracting any interest at all. Fifi has just 50 followers, and with the MorrisseysWorld blog now gone, I just don't see that anything could happen to change the current status. However much we Blue Rosers have shouted and screamed that Morrissey is on twitter, NOBODY ever believes us. I'm not actually sure what could possibly change the situation. It would be really interesting to see if anything would change if Moz wore a Justin Bieber shirt on stage, but I don't think it would. I actually don't think anything would change if Moz wore a Blue Rose. Goddamn it, he could even sing 'Trouble Loves Me' now, without Rosy Mires believing that Moz is really behind MorrisseysWorld.


FORMER BLUE ROSE MEMBER ROSY MIRES - WILL NEVER BELIEVE

And on the subject of Rosy Mires, she has informed me that her and another former BRS member, Still.I.Cling, will be attending the Moz concert in Flint, but they WON'T be taking BLUE ROSES, they plan to take BLUE WATERMELON! Still.I.Cling has even posted a picture. WHY? I just don't get it. Perhaps Moz will cancel Flint again.













STILL.I.CLING'S BLUE WATERMELON - WHY?

One Morrissey pessoa that does attract a bit of interest, is 'MorrisseysMum', who has recently changed her user name to MWPINOYB, which is of course a reference to MORRISSEY'S WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS..... actually, before I move on to write about Mum, I must quickly mention that, as would be expected, the internet is awash with references to Morrissey's new album title, but after my little blog article yesterday, FTM finds itself on Page 4 of google's searches, if you type in Morrissey World Peace is None of Your Business. My little blog comes ahead of LouderThanWar.Com, RollingStone.de, Rock.RapGenius.Com and even AfghanistanSun.Com. I've hit the big time.

Back to Mum.

On March 6th, Mum posted a Youtube clip of 'Frozen Britain' by James (which has resulted in it reaching Number 47 in our chart - see below), which I thought might be reference to Moz touring Britain this winter, but it appears that Mum may have tweeted it because Larry Gott of James inadvertently announced live on the radio, that Moz was to headline the Summer in the City festival in Manchester this July. Mum later tweeted, "So much fuss. In vain." followed by "TTY. TTY. TTY. Got it?", which presumably means, 'ignore all rumours, it is only true if it's on True to You.' There has thus far been NO TTY statement.

The following day, Mum issued this tweet:

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 7

As if having @rustyrockets hanging around wasn't bad enough. Thinking of Barbara today. Mums are special.

That surely has to mean that Rustle Brand is currently with Moz in France, doesn't it?


TOGETHER IN FRANÇAIS?


On March 8th, the old Mancunian freelance hack, Kevin 'Banjaxer' Marrinan, tweeted a link to the Abraham-Hicks article that I wrote about yesterday, in connection with WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, and Mum responded to it, tweeting, "And another pathway slips the sunlight. What does this mean?

Mam made another brief visit to twitter on Sunday, jumping to the defence of Johnny Marr. Johnny had tweeted that he had just got a Theremin (I think it must be a guitar!) and that he was learning all the old Smiths riffs on it. In response to JM's tweet, '@mark_meadows' tweeted, "You should never have left Johnny. As annoying as he was, he is now 10 times more famous." Mark Meadows didn't say who the "he" was, but Johnny replied to Meadows by tweeting, "Ignorant and confident. A dangerous combination." Unfortunately for Johnny, the 'ignorant' tweet was interpreted by another tweeter called '@AhmedKhogalix' to mean that JM was calling Morrissey 'ignorant and confident'. JM quickly responded to Ahmed by tweeting, "Wrong. Marr on Twitter Twit not Morrissey. How negative do people want to get? Stirring it as always." It was at this point that Mum joined in, tweeting to Johnny:

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 9

@Johnny_Marr@AhmedKhogalix@mark_meadows Ignore them Johnny. Get yourself a rocket lolly and have a game of togger.

Johnny didn't reply to Mum, but I am presuming that it is another in joke between Morrissey and Marr. We all know that Marr is keen on his togger (its an old Northern slang term for football), but has Johnny ever publicly announced his love for Rocket Lollies? Answers on a postcard please.




Mum was back again yesterday, responding to this tweeted photo by Banjaxer:


TIM BOOTH OF JAMES WITH MORRISSEY

Mum tweeted:

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 10

@banjaxer Ah yes, the 'missing hand' picture.

Mum then followed the tweet up with:

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 10

One man not clapping. pic.twitter.com/5BmR1eE6Hi

YOU'VE GOT TO HAND IT TO MOZ, HE'S A FUNNY BLOKE!

That will do for today. I don't know whether it is worth me continuing to try and convince Rosy Mires and Still.I.Cling, to are they a lost cause? It would be a shame for them to miss the opportunity of taking a BLUE ROSE for Moz. One person who WILL take Moz a BLUE ROSE, is Moz Fiend, who has posted this picture of her ticket for the concert in Atlantic City:



I am SO jealous of all those going to see The Moz, but I just cannot go to the US for this tour, I am a responsible parent, and it is a very important exam year. I just have to hope that the 'Frozen Britain' DOES mean a winter tour of the UK. Time, as ever.




TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 50 - THE TOP 10 WAS BROADCAST TODAY, IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS BY FLUFF RAT (@UPTHEPIER) TO AN AUDIENCE THAT INCLUDED; WILLOW, HEATHER, ROMINA, BUNNY GAL AND GWO)


1. MOI JE JOUE - BRIGITTE BARDOT (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5wtZ_Spjm4&feature=youtu.be


THE PERFECT BOTTOM

2. MESSAGE PERSONNEL - FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h3zy113Nqg

FRANÇOISE HARDY - STILL STUNNING



3. SUEDEHEAD (LIVE IN WOLVERHAMPTON 1988) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BdzY2y9O-o



4. I'M A MAN (ON MIDNIGHT SPECIAL 1973) - JOBRIATH (UP 22): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVTGcQX1Mi4




5. CHEZ LES YE-YE - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a2rrdti8XM

6. DOWN IN MEXICO - THE COASTERS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1I5TROqpkE

7. TROUBLE LOVES ME (RADIO SESSION) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzQxCvVYNks&feature=youtu.be

8. NEW TOWN VELOCITY - JOHNNY MARR (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXEc9WZ1bkY

9. HE KNOWS I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aamTIyhGr90

10. THAT MAKES IT! - JAYNE MANSFIELD (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CRj_MIT_EM

11. TU ES VENU MON AMOUR - BRIGITTE BARDOT (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv-UIf0pdH0

12. LOST - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxNJi40nuF4

13. PORT OF AMSTERDAM - DAVID BOWIE (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uPZIG5BHD4

14. DANS LE PORT D'AMERSTAM - JACQUES BREL (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U06PicY2C4

15. SISTER I'M A POET (LIVE IN WOLVERHAMPTON 1988) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kqWEwQ1MTM

16. LITTLE DREAMER - JOBRIATH (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYtjM9BjbBE&feature=youtu.be

17. COME TO ME - BJORK (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x-l0sRO_ls

18. INITIALS BB - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPOYtC1n5bE

19. SISTER RAY - THE VELVET UNDERGROUND (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d69mDT11yI

20. MORNING - BECK (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZo8_IV0IGQ

21. COMMENT TE DIRE ADIEU - FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9nskz9n64

22. JE SUIS VENU TE DIRE QUE JE M'EN VAIS - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw2hCK3zfZI

23. LUCKY LISP - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r72WJqc6ho

24. REEL AROUND THE FOUNTAIN (LIVE IN DERBY '83) - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfvGbgUnsdA

25. SHIMMY, SHIMMY KO-KO-BOP - LITTLE ANTHONY AND THE IMPERIALS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHb3Jz19WpM




26. JE SUIS VENU TE DIRE QUE JE M'EN VIAS - COEUR DE PIRATE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhk46drbIyY

27. VOILA - FRANCOISE HARDY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFKXj_mzhao

28. SO LITTLE TIME - DIANA DORS (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw95vueZ0iE&feature=youtu.be

29. IT'S TOO LATE - DIANA DORS (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1gBSU6NXxU&feature=youtu.be

30. ROLLER COASTER BLUES - DIANA DORS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZhrAIDOhI&feature=youtu.be

31. ADIEU - COEUR DE PIRATE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgM885vDr74

32. HEY MAMA! - MAMIE VAN DOREN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX3mWEBWnsw

33. THE QUEEN IS DEAD/THERE IS A LIGHT/PANIC (EP) - THE SMITHS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS3UMjNUqFM&feature=youtu.be

34. TOMORROW - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDdQcfz6pbo&feature=youtu.be












35. YOU HAVE KILLED ME (LIVE ON LONG ISLAND 2013) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q3u5gE0UWM

36. WHEN DID YOU LEAVE HEAVEN - LITTLE JIMMY SCOTT (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCZZs4smt34

37. STILL ILL (CH 4 2006) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ePMJ3y6RWI&feature=youtu.be

38. ASK - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoo9Vu1a9bU

39. ARMY OF ME - BJORK (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_9sRuZXpZc

40. JACK THE RIPPER (LIVE IN MANCHESTER 2005) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXeNur-9wwc&feature=youtu.be

41. AS LONG AS YOU HOLD ME - KIRST MACCOLL (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWjldQrC2YI

42. SUMMER IN THE CITY - THE LOVIN' SPOONFUL (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5bUmx-hk-c

43. HEIR APPARENT - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBgaKFunBo4&feature=youtu.be

44. UPSTARTS - JOHNNY MARR (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLOlo2zYqt8&feature=youtu.be

45. LONG SHOT KICK DE BUCKET - PIONEERS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyeG5Vp5j00

46. THEME FROM SHAFT - ISAAC HAYES (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFlsufZj9Fg

47. FROZEN BRITAIN - JAMES (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VuQAebwG84&feature=youtu.be

48. WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE - MARLENE DIETRICH (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ5n6EMgPq0

49. TAMPICO TWIST - LOS BEATNIKS (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDY0JjbRrE8

50. SAN FRANSISCO - SCOTT MACKENZIE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ_WG3d3GL8

Day 911 - Morrisseys World Peace is None of Your Business

March 14, 2014, 3:50 am

≫ Next: Day 912 - Barking Mad

≪ Previous: Day 908 - Rocket Lollies, Togger.... and the new Top 50 Chart.

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My blog entry of Day 907 has made it's way onto Page 1 of a google search using the phrase of Morrissey's new album title,  'WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS'. This is all well and good, except for the fact that anybody stumbling across my blog for the very first time, will not be able to make head nor tail of my entry of Day 907, as it was merely a carry-on of the other 900+ days of my blog. I have therefore decided that it would be far more useful for anybody searching Morrissey's new album title, to find THIS page instead, because I am about to give a resumé of MORRISSEYSWORLD and the BLUE ROSE SOCIETY.

If you have bothered to read the blurb at the top of my blog page, you will see that I have been writing this blog for two and a half years, ever since I discovered that MORRISSEY was on the internet, writing his blog, called MorrisseysWorld....... hold on, did I just write that Morrissey writes a blog? MORRISSEY? Rock God Morrissey? I know what you're thinking..... Morrissey would NEVER write a blog..... well he does, or at least, he did, but it is currently off line. It comes and goes, depending on his mood.

I think you'd better sit down.... oh, you are..... well, prepare yourself to be knocked over with a feather, because despite it being 'common knowledge' that Morrissey doesn't even use the internet, he really DOES have a blog, he is even on twitter, and has formed his own secret society called the BLUE ROSE SOCIETY; which is in homage to Oscar Wilde's 'Green Carnation'. Forget gladiolas, the ONLY type of flower that Morrissey has accepted on stage in the past THREE YEARS, are ROSES. There is even a BLUE ROSE SOCIETY RING, which has passed around BRS members over the years, and is currently with..... Morrissey! He took possession of it ON STAGE at his concert at the Staples Center in LA on March 1st 2013.

Still think all this is too unbelievable to be true? Well let me start at the very beginning....... actually, fu*k it, why should I? If you are that interested, then you can start ploughing your way through my blog. Everything you need to know is here, you just need to open your eyes, and L'OO'K, but before you start, let me just leave you with this..... Hidden within the title of Morrissey's new album title, WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, are the words..... BLUE ROSE. You can also find the words OSCAR WILDE. Far fetched? Hmmm.

 I will now leave you some pictures to help you on your way:

MORRISSEY ACCEPTS A RED ROSE IN POMONA - NOVEMBER 28TH 2011

MORRISSEY ACCEPTS A WHITE ROSE IN BOGOTA - MARCH 17TH 2012

A MEMBER OF THE BLUE ROSE SOCIETY WITH BLUE ROSES AT THE SAN DIEGO CONCERT - MAY 22ND 2012

MORRISSEY WEARS A GREEN CARNATION IN LIEGE -  JULY 5TH 2012

MORRISSEY RECEIVES THE 'KEY TO THE CITY' OF TEL AVIV WEARING A BLUE ROSE TIE - JULY 21ST 2012

A BLUE ROSE DOESN'T QUITE REACH MORRISSEY IN MANCHESTER - JULY 28TH  2012

MORRISSEY ACCEPTS RED ROSES IN BOSTON - 

OCTOBER 5TH 2012

MORRISSEY ACCEPTS A BLUE ROSE - OCTOBER 10TH 2012

MORRISSEY'S TOUR MANAGER DONNIE KNUTSON WITH A BLUE ROSE - JANUARY 8TH 2013

A BLUE ROSE NEARLY REACHES MORRISSEY IN BROOKLYN - JAN 11TH 2013

MORRISSEY MOVES IN TO ACCEPT BLUE ROSES IN SAN DIEGO - FEBRUARY 27TH 2013

KRISTEEN YOUNG ADMIRES THE BLUE ROSE RING

MORRISSEY REACHES TO RECEIVE A BLUE ROSE AT HOLLYWOOD HIGH SCHOOL (AS SEEN ON FILM AND DVD ENTITLED, MORRISSEY 25:LIVE)........

........ AND PLACES IT IN HIS RIGHT TROUSER POCKET

MORRISSEY LEANS TO TOUCH THE ROSES THAT HE HAD REQUESTED FOR HIS BOOK SIGNING IN GOTHENBURG - OCTOBER 17TH 2103

MORRISSEY ON STAGE AT THE NOBEL PEACE CEREMONY IN OSLO, WEARING A BRACELET OF WHITE ROSES - DECEMBER 11TH 2013

MORRISSEY WANTS ROSES AT HIS CONCERTS; EITHER RED, WHITE OR BLUE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO ONE OF HIS UPCOMING CONCERTS, THEN PLEASE TAKE HIM A ROSE, AND JOIN THE BLUE ROSE SOCIETY. YOU CAN FIND US ON TWITTER @BLUEROSESOCIETY, AND REMEMBER THIS:

WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Day 912 - Barking Mad

March 15, 2014, 8:27 am

≫ Next: Day 916 - Putting the Boom-Boom In

≪ Previous: Day 911 - Morrisseys World Peace is None of Your Business

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My attempt to get my blog entry of yesterday onto the front page of a google search for 'World Peace is None of Your Business' has failed miserably, mainly because..... NO BUGGER read it! My blog seems to receive quite a few hits, but it must be just a combination of spam (of which there is loads) and the same deluded dozen people re-reading it, wanting to see if anybody has added anything informative or witty in the comment section.

We are officially in a lull, which is rather a pleasant place to be, but I cannot believe that we can get through the whole of 2014 without a single journalist eventually stumbling over us, and announcing to the world that Morrissey has been secretly communicating with his fans on the internet for three years.... or perhaps we can, especially as the vast majority of Morrissey's own fans can't see what is right in front of their own faces. Surely though, with a new album and tour coming, it is only a matter of time before we are found?

What I do fail to understand, is WHY  Guardian journalist Kitty Empire DIDN'T follow up on her hunch of August 2011, when she (reviewing the concert at the London Palladium) wrote,

"It is a peculiarly solipsistic universe that Morrissey and his fans inhabit. The show in this plush old music hall theatre opens with the words "Welcome to my world". This is either a wry reference to Justin Bieber (who opens his shows with these words) or to a new blog, morrisseysworld.blogspot.com, written in a highly amusing parody of Morrissey's style. Is it him?"

(The whole piece can be read here: http://www.theguardian.com/music/2011/aug/14/morrissey-london-palladium-review)

Kitty has been the ONLY journalist to get close to discovering the truth, but WHY has she never followed it up? Is she lazy, or perhaps just not interested enough?


KITTY EMPIRE - LAZY SUNBATHER


So, while Kitty, Morrissey's fans, and the rest of the outside world continue to go about their business, Morrissey continues to sip Veuve Clicquot in the Twitterdilly Arms, in the guise of a shimmying beauty called Fifi.


FIFI BATHING IN VEUVE IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS..... YES, I KNOW SHE'LL KILL ME FOR THIS PHOTO, THAT WOMAN DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A SHIMMYING BEAUTY...... PERHAPS THIS IS MORE FIFI LIKE:



FIFI



HEATHER AND EARS HAVE HEARD THAT FIFI IS ON HER WAY TO THE TWIT ARMS, AND MAKE APPROPRIATE PREPARATIONS

Morrissey has released a statement on the True-To-You website, announcing that the new album, 'World Peace is None of Your Business', was recorded at...... La Fabrique Studios in France. Well there's a surprise. Didn't I first mention that in my blog on Day 855? Here is the TTY statement:


Parlophone (UK) to issue Vauxhall and I by Morrissey on June 2nd as re-mastered by Bill Inglot; Photograph of Morrissey at La Fabrique Studios in France where the forthcoming World Peace Is None Of Your Business has been recorded

14 March 2014

Parlophone (UK) will issue Vauxhall and I by Morrissey on June 2nd as re-mastered by Bill Inglot in Los Angeles. The 1994 album will include previously unused photographs, and will be available on CD and LP.
Morrissey (above) is photographed at La Fabrique Studios in France where the forthcomingWorld Peace Is None Of Your Business has been recorded.
Photograph by Donnie, with thanks to Paula the dog.

I am presuming that Paula the dog is the chocolate labrador in the photo, or perhaps she is a completely different dog, who is holding Donnie's tripod? Either way, it is a lovely photo, which opens up a few questions, A) What is Moz holding in his hand? B) What make of plimsolLs is Moz wearing? C) Has Morr-ee-say been dieting? D) There is no D! E) Which Donnie took the photo?

The answer to question A) has been answered by Fifi in the Twitterdilly Arms, during a conversation with myself and Willow:

Willow ‏@smashingblouse7  16h

Ah! A recent pic! Looking good....& looks like he has a nice tan..

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@smashingblouse7 Tanned and a tad Veuve-tipsy maybe.

Willow ‏@smashingblouse7  15h

@y20m7d27 Yes...looks like he's nodding off a little...Hope he's not slurring on the album...& what on earth is he holding in his hand?

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@smashingblouse7 A Mont Blanc pen

Willow ‏@smashingblouse7  16h

@y20m7d27 Wow Fifi,darling.You DO have good eyesight! Suppose you can tell what sort of watch he's wearing too!

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  16h

@smashingblouse7 My eyesight is very poor. I just have good memory.

Willow ‏@smashingblouse7  15h

@y20m7d27 Were you hiding in the bushes spying?! Bad Fifi! Hope you didn't ruin your Louboutins.

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@smashingblouse7 I totally ruined them but it was worth it. I was given a free pen.

The Rat ‏@TheRatsBack  15h

@y20m7d27@smashingblouse7 Can Paula the dog write?

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@TheRatsBack@smashingblouse7 No but she can sing.

The Rat ‏@TheRatsBack  15h

@y20m7d27@smashingblouse7 Did she do backing vocals?

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@TheRatsBack@smashingblouse7 Yes, she is on track 4 "Barking mad"

Willow ‏@smashingblouse7  15h

@y20m7d27@TheRatsBack Oh..thought he might have done a cover of the brilliant Baha Men classic..never mind..

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@smashingblouse7@TheRatsBack A cappella Baha Men might be on the following album.

The Rat ‏@TheRatsBack  15h

@y20m7d27@smashingblouse7 Can you imagine a Morrissey featuring the Baha Men collaboration? Solowers would melt. Actually, we ALL would!

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@TheRatsBack@smashingblouse7 I can't imagine that, it hurts my brain.

Willow ‏@smashingblouse7  15h

@y20m7d27@TheRatsBack I CAN imagine it....including the video...my brain hurts now too.

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@smashingblouse7@TheRatsBack Oh the video... Ouch!

Willow ‏@smashingblouse7  15h

@y20m7d27@TheRatsBack Sorry sweetie.....maybe you should drink a few bottles of Veuve to numb the pain.

Fifi ‏@y20m7d27  15h

@smashingblouse7@TheRatsBack More Veuve and I'll start spreading discord as you know.

A MONT BLANC PEN, AS OFFERED TO PAULA THE DOG.... ACCORDING TO FIFI. (IT DOES LOOK VERY SIMILAR. LUCKY GUESS, I GUESS.)

This does of course throw up question A.i) WHY was Morrissey offering Paula a pen? Do the French not have chien chews?

I did ask Fifi if the plimsolL in question was a Fred Perry, but she avoided giving me a direct answer. Perhaps she doesn't want to give too much away, in case people start thinking that she might actually be Morrissey. As if people would EVER think that. Morrissey does look incredibly trim in the above photograph, which would tend to suggest he has been eating healthily in France. With regard to which Donnie took the photo, I presume that it is tour manager Donnie Knutson (as featured in my blog of yesterday), although I suppose it could be Donnie Osmond. No, wait, that's Donny. It has to be Knutson.

La Fabrique looks a magnificent place, and perhaps I had already been told that Morrissey was recording there. Maybe I was sworn to secrecy. There are many photos of La Fab on the internet:



PAULA LISTENS TO A PROMO OF WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS


THE POND AT LA FAB



THE BROCHURE LOOKS GREAT........







....... EVEN IN WINTER *COUGHS*

Speculation continues as to the influence of the new Morrissey album title, 'World Peace is None of Your Business', and an anonymous comment left on my blog the other day, suggests that it is a reference to this saying from MorrisseysWorld: "Tony Blair, world peace is none of your business." There is now no way of knowing if there is any truth to this particular piece of anonymous speculation, as both the MorrisseysWorld blog and twitter feed have gone, but maybe there is something in it? Personally, I still think that Morrissey stumbled across that Abraham-Hicks link. No doubt somebody will ask him soon. Actually, I will ask him. It's about time FTM had another Moz interview. I shall email him with some questions, and if he answers, I will post them on my blog. NOBODY will believe it's from Moz, because I am just a hairy-backed bullshitter, so it will be an exclusive interview for the Blue Rose Society. If anybody has a question that they would like me to ask, please write it in the comment section.


Meanwhile, back in the Twitterdilly Arms, Fifi is the only Morrissey pessoa currently frequenting the world's Number 1 online Morrissey theme pub, with Parody Moz, Astraea, Broken and Greyer Girl nowhere to be seen. Somebody has opened an account in the name '@ParodyMorrissey' but this is NOTHING to do with '@MorrisseyParody', as '@MorrisseysMum' has been quick to point out. The reason that I haven't counted Mum as one of the pessoas, is because that particular account has become almost like an official Morrissey account, in a strange, round about way, and certainly doesn't interact with any of the BRS like the pessoas do. In fact, Mum tends to interact with '@Banjaxer' more than anybody else, although three days ago, Mum i.e. Morrissey, communicated with...... Mike Joyce!!!! It would appear that Joyce is fully aware that Mum is Moz:

professorvanessa ‏@professorvaness  Mar 8

“@mcrhistfest& @Fairarchives bring you a unique exhibition celebrating the glory of Belle Vue Zoological Gardens 21-30 March curated by me

Mike Joyce ‏@mikejoycedrums  Mar 8

@professorvaness@mcrhistfest@Fairarchives Excited about this.Enjoyed gigs & a disco there. Little know fact, a monkey bit me at Belle Vue!

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 12

@mikejoycedrums@professorvaness@mcrhistfest@Fairarchives Ever thought about suing the monkey? Might be worth a shot.

Mike Joyce ‏@mikejoycedrums  Mar 12

@MorrisseysMum I thought the monkey treated me quite fairly, but i did in fact sue I was awarded 25%of the cost of having my finger replaced

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 12

@mikejoycedrums And who paid for the other 75%?

COMMUNICATING

This morning, Fifi posted a great Youtube link to the making of 'Initials BB' by Serge Gainsbourg. I have to admit, I never really understood how Gainsbourg managed to attract beautiful women such as Brigitte Bardot and Jane Birkin, but the more I see of him, the more I m understanding his attraction. He is just so...... French!



JANE BIRKIN



BRIGITTE BARDOT



SERGE GAINSBOURG - SO FRENCH

The making of Initials BB: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO7Eq3b6t8E

That will do for today, but I must make mention of a great interview that Julie Hamill has carried out with former Coronation Street actress Julie 'Hayley Cropper' Hesmondhalgh. I have been a bit hard on Ms Hamill in the past, only because I desperately want her to see that Morrissey is among us, but I really do like her interviews, and the latest one with Julie Hes is probably her best yet. Julie Hes comes across as a HUGE Moz fan, with lots of passion for the songs. When she describes her love of the line 'When you look at me, you actually see me' from All the Lazy Dykes, it brought a tear to my eye. I LOVE that line. Here is my favourite section of the interview:

JHam:  Have you ever met Morrissey?

JHes:  Yes I have!  I was in Kendal’s in Manchester and I was on the escalator going up one lunchtime.  I glanced down and he was behind me!  You have never seen a more uncool performance in your life.  It was unbelievable.  I couldn’t believe it was him.  It was when he was living in LA so I had to really think, it’s him, it’s definitely him!  So I arrived at the top and he passed me and he went up the next escalator.

JHam:  Did you follow him? 

JHes:  Well I was frozen.  I stood at the bottom.  It had been wedged in my brain to shake his hand and say something like ‘thank you for all the pleasure you have given me.’  As he went on the escalator he could see that I was there, and I knew he was a Corrie fan, because he tried to be a scriptwriter for a while and he went out with Sally one night wandering around town trying to find other Corrie actors.  I just thought, there’s no way I can say this to him without sounding really pathetic.  So he was nearly at the top of the escalator and I was at the bottom and all that came out of my mouth was:

‘THANK YOU!’

He turned around and said ‘I think you’ve got me confused with somebody else.’  I lost all sense of irony and just went: ‘oh no!  It’s you!’  Again I thought, he’s getting away, he’s at the top I’m at the bottom.  He turned around and gave me a lovely smile and I just went:

‘ALL ME LIFE!’

And that was it!  It was all I could manage!  I went back to work in a stupor.   I was star struck.  I was shaking, saying:  ‘I just met Morrissey in Kendal’s!’ and somebody said ‘Neil Morrissey?’ and I said ‘f*** off!’  No disrespect to Neil but I wouldn’t be shaking with excitement over meeting him.

He didn’t have to be nice to me.  I think he’s really nice when he meets his genuine fans and he can see they must be overwhelmed.  I love the line in All the lazy dykes: ‘when you look at me you actually see me’.  This must hardly ever happen to him.  It must all be hero worship.  He’s one of the only real stars left, like Madonna.

JHam:  If Morrissey walked in here right now and said ‘alright Julie’ what would you say?

JHes:  I’d be like Oh my God Morrissey, serious to God, Julie is doing a book about you, and we’re doing an interview about you, what are the f***in chances of that happening?  Then I would also ask him if he remembers meeting me on the escalator in Kendal’s.

JULIE HESMONDHAIGH REINACTING THE 'ALL ME LIFE' MOMENT FOR JULIE HAMILL IN THEIR INTERVIEW - PHOTOGRAPH BY JULIE HAMILL

Julie Hamill's full interview with Julie Hesmondhalgh can be read here: http://www.juliehamill.com/post/79550289066/fifteen-minutes-with-julie-hesmondhalgh-actress-and

And finally Cyril, and finally Esther, Willow has announced that on March 19th, she will be 40. I owe an apology to Willow, because when she initially turned up in the Twitterdilly Arms, I was very suspicious of her; mainly because I am suspicious of anybody who just happens to stumble upon our quirky little group, but also because right from the word go, Willow established an unbelievable rapport with Morrissey. Most of us took a very long time to get over the 'Untouchable God' status of Moz, and in fact, it is only very recently that I have felt comfortable enough to call Morrissey a c*nt, but Willow was VERY relaxed in his company from the off. It led me to believe that Willow was perhaps Linder Sterling, but I now accept that she is not Linder, so I would like to apologise publicly, and wish Willow a happy 40th.

Incidentally, according to wiki and other sources on the internet, Linder Sterling was born in 1954, which means that she will be celebrating her 60th birthday this year, but there is NOWHERE on the internet, where it states Linder's birthdate. It would be great if members of the BRS could wish Linder a happy 60th, so can anybody tell me when her birthday is? Fifi theory? Maybe 'Mum' could tell us? Which reminds me, on International Women's Day last week, Mum posted this:

MWPINOYB ‏@MorrisseysMum  Mar 8

Breaking The Rules, Little Girls? #IWD2014

It is a reference to the Ludus (Linder) song 'Breaking The Rules, Little Girls': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNQKQmXyyac




LINDER STERLING - LOOKING FAB AT 60 (OR 59) AND STILL BREAKING THE RULES