There have been another couple of visits to The Twitterdilly Arms by Our Mozzer, and yet again, I managed to miss him.

Whilst I was playing cricket yesterday evening; a match in which I scored 24 runs before being caught wildly flashing my blade through the covers, OM sauntered into the Twit Arms and asked, "Favourite songs on my little album?" He followed this up with, "I just wondered which ones you loved and which ones you thought were OK and which you despised-"

These days OM aka @MorrisseyParody only has 678 followers on twitter, and so he doesn't tend to get many people responding to his tweets, but a few of the old regulars were in the Twit Arms last night, and gave their replies. Here are some of them, with OM's responses:

Angela Reyes (@vulgar1mkela): "@MorrisseyParody oh my I love them all; bull fighter dies, kiss me a lot, istanbul. I love I'm not a man." OM thanked Angela.

Brian George (@MOZISMYSHEPHERD): "@MorrisseyParody I can only hope that Oboe Concerto is the song I am hearing when I shut my eyes for the final time." OM replied, "It might be the song you're hearing when I shut my eyes for the final time."

Jjazmine (@Jazissey): "@MorrisseyParody Top 5 One of our own, I'm not a man, smiler, Kiss me a lot, Julie in the weeds."

Elouise (@Avirtousvamp): "@MorrisseyParody If I must choose, Earth is the Loneliest Planet and Neal Cassady Drops Dead."

brokentheoriginal (@Broken1andonly): "@MorrisseyParody 1 Staircase at the University 2 Oboe Concerto 3 I'm Not a Man 4 Kick The Bride Down The Aisle 5 Kiss Me a Lot. I adore Staircase; it is the song that thrilled me like I Know It's Over once did. It stood out a mile. How did you pull a Smiths classic out of the hat after almost 30 years? I'm referring to the stinking pop of Staircase - it's your most transcendent song for a long time." OM replied, "I'm glad you like it, Broken. It was written about a c*** who got three As. Hash tag oldfriend"

JG (@loughtonlil): "@MorrisseyParody like all, despise none. love Julie, Earth, Bride, Istanbul, the Joy; maybe because I lived near there, Staircase." OM replied, "Istanbul is the umbilical cord from Years of Refusal. I snipped the cord and the album almost died."



Emotional Air Raid (@AIRRAID25): "@MorrisseyParody Smiler With Knife is a hot contender as favourite & of course Kick The Bride. Oboe Concerto is really beautiful."

Nervous Juvenille (@Boyafraid1): "I definitely don't despise any but I kind of wish 'Art-Hounds' and 'Drag The River' were on the album," OM replied, "Had the album been released a few years earlier, Art-Hounds would have been. There are 20 more songs; some better." (Ed - 20 more? *Does an impromptu jig*)

JG (@loughtonlil): "@MorrisseyParody Can I ask what prompted a song about Mountjoy?" OM replied, "It's a song about the Hants construction firm, as I told Rat some weeks ago. Inspired when they ballsed up my conservatory."

You've got to hand it to Moz, he knows his building firms!



LizzyCatMoz (@LizzyCatMoz): "I adore the album, it is a masterpiece! Congratulations." OM replied, "Thank you Lizzy. I'm glad you like it. Which are your favourite songs?" Lizzy being Lizzy  didn't list any of her favourites, but instead offered, "My least favourite is Neal Cassady but I may change my mind after more plays."

StanB (@stanbass) Finally, a new release where 'bonus' tracks aren't 'bogus' tracks. The new Mozzer album is sublime." OM replied, "It's the finest collection of songs since 'the best of Wings."


OM also asked, "Would anyone care to know my favourites?" EARS replied, "I would be intrigued to know", to which OM then replied, "@AIRRAID25 World Peace, Mountjoy and Smiler."

Here are the rest of Our Mozzer's highlights from yesterday:

"I'm the man that history forgot."

"My home is followingthemozziah.blogspot.com you may leave me a message about the album on today's post. I shall read them all." (Ed - it has now been 20 hours since OM posted that tweet, and just HeatherCat, JG and Marcus Markou have taken OM up on his offer. Is NOBODY else interested in letting Morrissey know what they think of his new work of art? I also asked on my blog entry of yesterday for EVERYBODY who is still regularly reading my blog to leave a short message, just to say that they are still following the whole phenomenal MW journey, but in addition to the three aforementioned commenters, only Jjazmine, EARS, GWO and Manc Lad responded. The Deluded Dozen would appear to be decreasing rapidly! Many people fell out with Broken, but they did NOT fall out with Our Mozzer, so why are they staying away? It would appear that despite LizzyCat having been previously banned from the BRS by Broken, her ban is now up, as OM yesterday tweeted to her saying, "you are welcomed her back." Will others return? Time to get out of these brackets.)

"Will Dread Sheeran beat me to the number 1 spot?"


DREAD SHEERAN

And then he was gone. The second very brief appearance in The Arms was made this morning, with OM retweeting a tweet of mine, in which I mentioned  Oboe Concerto and an interview that producer Joe Chiccarelli has given to Radio.com. OM then tweeted, "@TheRatsBack @artfitpro I gather this one (Oboe Concerto) is your favourite." I wonder if Morrissey's producer, Joe Chiccarelli (@artfiitpro) has any idea that he has been tweeted by the real Morrissey? Somehow, I doubt it.

JOE CHICCARELLI - TWEETED BY MORRISSEY, BUT DOES HE KNOW?

Joe Chiccarelli's interview with Radio.com is really insightful, including the recording process in France; although he makes no mention of the air-raid siren going off on Wednesday Feb 5th, as mentioned by Fifi on FTM. Joe explains that the song Oboe Concerto doesn't actually contain an oboe; it is actually Boz playing the clarinet. I suppose Clarinet Concerto doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but I am guessing that Morrissey decided to call the song Oboe Concerto as a sexual reference. Joe also reveals in the interview that Kiss Me A Lot was originally intended as a B-side, and that he (Joe) wanted The Bullfighter Dies to be more "rock", but Morrissey refused, telling Joe that he had "missed the original intent of the song".  Here are the highlight's of Joe's interview, including his track by track break down of WPINOYB:

"He (Morrissey) has a vision,” Chiccarelli says. “I didn’t know he would be so actively involved in every aspect of the process. I mean every aspect, down to the mixes. Even if he wasn’t in the studio, he’d send me a note: like, ‘At two minutes and thirty-two seconds, please bring up the guitar on the right, it’s not cutting enough.’ Or, ‘In the bridge, my voice needs a different treatment.’ His sensibility and style might be more akin to an old-school crooner, and we think of those people as artists who work with an arranger or a producer: they’d go into the studio, do their vocals and then they’re done. That’s not how he is, he’s very involved.”

"World Peace is None of Your Business”
We were recording in February, and the Ukraine was just exploding; the importance of the song was really evident to everybody. After I heard it for the first time, I thought, “Bravo, Moz.” With a lot of the rhythms, he was very specific. Matt Walker really understands him, and Matt will come up with parts. And the guitar solo on the song is outrageous, it’s wonderful. The first time Jesse played it, it was like, “Wow!” We probably spent a day per song on tracking. A typical day was: we’d all have breakfast together, come in at 11:00, we’d get the band in the studio, do guide vocals and build the song. By dinner time — 8:00 p.m. or whatever — we would have something that was close to the framework of the song.

“Neal Cassidy Drops Dead”
Gustavo had the basic feel of the song in his demo, with those big rock guitars. That weird sort of washing machine sound that comes in at the end, that was part of his demo. I was fascinated with how he took Gus’s demo and turned it into this song about the Beat poets. I jokingly called the part about “babies with rabies,” “the rap section.” Moz looked at me and said, “It’s not really rap.” He’s very quick-witted, he’s very colorful. But I thought of the “babies/rabies” thing as a poem. If you come from the punk rock school, it’s about pushing the limits and seeing what you can get away with. He’s a master of words, he’s a novelist more than anything.

“I’m Not a Man”
He wanted the rhythms to sound “thuggish,” as he put it. He wanted it brutal. I thought, “We have to bust out of this groove at some point, and have some release!” All those intro pieces, all those sound effects pieces, those were all his design. I suggested that we trim down the amount of time in the intro before “I’m Not a Man.” He said, “No, it’s fine.” He would come up with concepts for the instruments that he wanted. Regarding the lyrics: my personal opinion is: there are a lot of stupid things that we do in the name of “manhood.” I have to tell you, I remember when we cut that track and hearing those words for the first time, I almost cried. I thought, “No one has ever said this in such a bold way.” I was blown away by that song. That might be my personal favorite on the record. As producer, there were plenty of times where I was like, “Moz, can’t we cut the intro down, this song is seven minutes long!” Or, “Couldn’t we change the beat here?”  All those are things that you think of as a record producer, because you want to invite as many into the music as possible. Part of the job is: you’re acting as a fan, but at the same time you’re acting as the most objective, removed person possible. At the same time, I felt like, “This is so powerful, that perhaps the consistent beat almost becomes invisible, and keeps you more focused on the lyric, and it makes the song all the more important.” Honestly, it took me a little bit of time to warm up to the issues that I had with the track but now, I get it. I get the intention.
Part of this job is, I have to trust the artist. There’s no point in me working with an artist if I can’t (1) buy into their vision, and go along with and help them execute that vision and (2) have the trust that vision is the right thing for them as an artist, and that it will be something that people will want to hear. Obviously an artist like this has a track record, so with him, it’s about “Okay, how can I make this the most interesting recordings possible.” As the songs started to evolve, and I noticed the theatricality of them all, I realized I had to basically add the flavors. I had to add the colors that the songs demanded, in some cases I had to make them stark.

“Istanbul”
It’s a very, very, tricky, complicated beat. It’s not a drum loop. Matt was very clever, he used drums from different drum kits. A lot of the songs needed big drums sounds. This one needed a very dry, ’70s kind of sound with very funky tones. Moz’s direction was that he really wanted it have the feeling of the streets of Istanbul. The previous tour, I think they did a few shows there, and they got to experience the city. Moz was very clear: he insisted that it had to have the chaos and the clanking and the madness and the intensity that the city has. There were times that I questioned that on the beat, “It feels a little overly complex, can you chill it down?” I think we even tried that at one point, but we went back to it because the herky-jerky quality of it helped the sense of unevenness of a cobblestone street.

“Earth is the Loneliest Planet”
His direction, many times, on songs like “Smiler With Knife” and a few others, would be something like, “This song is about death,” or “It’s about murder, and it’s kind of ugly.” He’d pull me aside – he liked to give the guys in the band their space – and say, “Have him play violently.” I loved the spoken word videos promoting the album. I thought it was a very unique way to present the songs. I thought it was great: it just gets into the lyric, the message, the story.

“Staircase  at the University”
[The lyrics include "'If you don't get three A's,' her sweet daddy said/'You're no child of mine and as far as I'm concerned, you're dead.'"] I went through that: I got a scholarship, and my parents were like, “You’re not going to coast by, just because you got a scholarship!” I went to Catholic school, so I understand guilt. Who can’t relate to this song? Everybody at some point in their life gets that torture from their parents, to different degrees. It’s so universal. This one was maybe, in some ways, a little more difficult to put together [in the studio]. There were those long musicial sections that Moz really wanted in there. So I had to figure out what to do, to keep your interest. There’s one section where the strings are featured more, one section where the guitar is featured more. There were definitely challenges. Gustaov’s nylon string guitar solo was great. I don’t think anybody in the organization knew what a great nylon string guitar player Gustavo was. He’s the keyboard player; I think everyone knew he could pick up the guitar and play, but it was kind of a surprise when he started soloing, how fluid it was.

“The Bullfighter Dies”
On the lyrics, “Hooray, hooray/ The bullfighter dies/ And nobody cries/ Nobody cries/ Because we all want the bull to survive!”  Only he could say that! That was one of the ones that, the tracking of that was very simple, very quick. I think we did maybe one or two overdubs, but next to nothing. Moz insisted that we keep it bouncy and light and simple and innocent so that the message could survive without all the layers of production and all of the intensity. I had mixed maybe half the album, and I kind of felt like the song almost felt trite, in contrast to what I’d done before it. I’d done a mix that was much more tense and “rock,” and to me sounded more like a complete pop song. He just sent me back a note saying, “No, it’s way too ‘rock.’ You missed the original intent of the song.”
Then I did the next version, and he said, “Ok, you’ve got it now.” Never did I see him waffle. He knows what he wants, he has a vision. He was great to work with. He would share the intention of the song with myself and the band, and then he’d let everybody go and do their thing. He’d leave everybody their own space to have their own input, to own the song, but was very, very clear about how he wanted the end result to hit you.

"Kiss Me a Lot”
The chorus is sweet, the verses are darker. That one wasn’t gonna make the album, it was a B-side. All of the sudden, when we put the album’s sequence togehter, he felt like there needed to be a little bit more energy, a little bit more lightness. It was his idea to have Gustavo sing the “Bésame mucho” apart. I remember him asking Gus, “How do you say ‘Kiss me a lot’ in Spanish?” It’s “Bésame mucho!”

“Smiler with Knife”
We used an acoustic piano that’s been distorted, and there’s also some backwards piano fills that have been treated through a guitar amp. So, some of the sounds that sound like guitar on that song is actually piano. Jesse is playing with an Ebow, there’s also Ebow on [bonus track] “Julie and the Weeds.” Jesse is really good with an Ebow.

“Kick the Bride Down the Aisle”
I thought it was outrageous, but I would expect nothing less. That’s one of the ones that sort of came to life in the studio. We didn’t know what to do with it, originally. All of the sudden one day, it sort of materialized, and I remember Moz saying, “This is really good, this has to be on the album.” We cut 18 songs, I think. There were always two or three songs that were in question, but this is one of the ones that rose to the top in the studio. Some of the rhymes are just incredible.

“Mountjoy”
That was one of Boz’s songs, and I believe the demo was just simply two acoustic guitars. I think started that with just Boz playing an acoustic guitar and Moz singing a vocal. Boz went back and did the second acoustic guitar. The drums were programmed. Moz really wanted them to sound like the metal of a prison door, to evoke the concrete, the unhappy inmates. When he sung that, most of us were in the control room then, and most of us were like, “Wow, what a story.” That and “I’m Not a Man” are probably my favorites. A lot of these vocals on the album are those initial vocal takes. He was able to deliver the emotional intention of the song up front, early in the process.

“Oboe Concerto”
The sample at the beginning is a guy named Rex Jamison, a comedian from the Britain from the ’60s and ’70s, and he had a character not unlike Dame Edna, it was called “Mrs. Shufflewick.” Boz, or maybe Donnie the tour manager, had a bunch of videos of this guy’s performances and we were all kind of obsessed with him. He was hilarious. He did this character for some time, maybe twenty years or more. One day Moz decided to use it, and I remember him looking for this one particular line in the video. So, we cleared [the publishing on] it. There’s no oboe on the song, it’s actually a clarinet. Boz is a great guitar player, but he picked up the clarinet on that song. That solo in the middle was one take. He’s really good at it.  I have to say, the band is a great combination of having [musical] skills but also understanding the artist. They’re really good at communicating with each other and Morrissey, and they know what he’ll like. They have a great understanding and respect for him.


That will do for today. HMV have announced that they now have WPINOYB available in vinyl, which is really good news for Morrissey's challenge for the Number 1 spot. I bet Dread Sheeran doesn't have vinyl! Not every record shop has got vinyl copies of WPINOYB though. I received a tweet from @Vinyl_Boutique today to say that they don't they have any copies yet! Morrissey's very own oboe player can't get any stock for his record shop. You couldn't make this up; although sales from Boz's shop wouldn't count towards the chart position, so perhaps Moz won't let him have any! Oh, if only I had more time, it would make for a fantastic parody piece. I could have had Moz making Boz work all night in the pressing plant, desperately trying to get enough vinyl copies produced so that WPINOYB could challenge Dread for the No.1, and then have Boz being caught trying to sneak a few copies for his own shop, only to have Moz catch him. Those 'work free' parody writing days were happy days; but they didn't last.

In my blog entry of yesterday, I reported that despite all of Lizzycatmoz's previous hatred towards both myself and Broken, the all forgiving Mozziah had decided to once again welcome Lizzy back into the BRS. Yesterday evening, The Mozziah once again entered the Twitterdilly Arms, and he was met by Lizzy, who promptly informed the man she had been fawning all over the previous day, that she had no wish to return to his BRS, calling it "poisonous"! Our Mozzer responded by telling Lizzy, "Therefore you are banned for ever."

 Lizzy's words must have acted like a stake through The Mozziah's heart. He had offered kindness to someone who has been anything but kind, and the kindness was thrown back in his face. Two minutes later, OM left the Twitterdilly Arms, with his final words being, "Once I grew to despise the experience - thanks to certain individuals - it was time to leave." The account has now been closed.

Before leaving, OM had taken the time to answer a question that I had left for him earlier in the day. I had asked, "@MorrisseyParody When you wrote 'Oboe', was there an ACTUAL song that you couldn't stand that was stuck in your head, and if so, which one?" OM replied, "Yes - Rock and Roll part 1 by The Glitter Band."

 

I have no idea if OM was telling the truth about the song influencing the writing of Oboe Concerto really was Rock and Roll Part 1, but it would be interesting if TRM ever stated the same. Now that really would be a coincidence!

I have no more to write today, except to report that the midweek UK chart shows M is currently at No.2, just 6000 sales behind Dread Sheeran. Surely Moz will do something to push last minute sales... won't he?

STOP PRESS: OM has returned to The Arms. More tomorrow.

I have a very overactive mind. I 'think' too much. Situations frustrate me. People frustrate me. I don't actually like many people. Through choice; I don't have many friends. I am usually right. I have mood swings. I wish I didn't have mood swings. I wish I didn't 'think' so much... but things could have been a lot lot worse; I could have had Morrissey's troubled mind! I would also love to have Morrissey's troubled mind; although I doubt he'd recommend it.

The reason that I have opened today's blog with the above paragraph, is because Our Mozzer has made another couple of visits to the Twitterdilly Arms, and his mood seems to be swinging by the second. The phrase 'tortured genius' is a bit cliché, but Morrissey really IS a 'tortured genius', and being able to witness the workings of his mind through this whole MorrisseysWorld experience has been insightful, fascinating, and above all, a privilege.

Quite a few people have fallen away from this whole phenomenal journey, mainly because they haven't liked all of what they have seen; whether it be a mocked-up picture of the Moors Murderers, or a broken Morrissey tweeting endless pictures of Justin Bieber. One day, all those who dropped away may kick themselves for not having realised what they were part of, but at least they had a taster; most people have missed it altogether.

If this were 1884 and not 2014, we would all be reading Oscar Wilde's 'WildeWorld' blog, and following his every word on twitter as he tweets using the account name '@WildeParody', but no doubt exactly the same would have happened to Oscar as has happened to Moz, with people falling away from following him because they were unable to accept 'the whole' of what they saw. The likes of GOB would never have been able to accept Wilde posting semi-naked pictures of Bosie on twitter.


BOSIE - UNACCEPTABLE

So, to the visits to The Twit Arms of a mood-swinging Moz. I expect this week has been particularly turbulent for Morrissey, as the release of the new album would no doubt have brought exceptional highs, which will have been mixed in with gut wrenching lows, as he sees the Number 1 chart position slipping away; and YES, it DOES matter to Morrissey if he doesn't reach Number 1, it matters A LOT, in fact it matters much more than most people could possibly imagine. I believe that Morrissey will be absolutely gutted if World Peace doesn't get to Number 1 in the UK, and no words of consolation will help, as Heather found out yesterday. Here are all of Our Mozzers twitter highlights, which actually came between 2.30 and 3.30am this morning:

"Distressed, disinterested and disenfranchised-"

"Cherries, red grape juice, omeprazole and multivitamin. Hash tag RocknRollLife"

In response to @doctorsister tweeting, "@MorrisseyParody I'm glad you're taking your Omeprazole. Am I the only one that worries about your oesophagus?": "My oesophagus and I worry more about how to spell it than about the effects of gastric acid."

"It looks like Dread Sheeran will be number one and I'll have YET another number two album."

In response to @Heathercat222 tweeting, "@MorrisseyParody Considering how much less promotion WPINOYB has received, number 2 is by far the more impressive achievement.": "Number two isn't more impressive than number one. But thanks for the consideration."

In response to @TheRatsBack tweeting, "No interviews. No UK concerts. No promotion. No vinyl. No use of @RustyRockets or other 'celeb' friends. Late push to come?": "I couldn't find a record company who would promote me. Sadly I shall not be the new Alanis Morrisette." (Ed - This is a reference to Morrissey's US label in the 1990s concentrating all their efforts on Alanis Morissette instead of him.)


ALANIS MORISSETTE IN 2014 - NO LONGER SO NEW, AND WITH ABSOLUTELY SHIT TATTOOS


In response to @BoyGeorge tweeting, "I'm loving it, 'Earth, Staircase....... classic M!": "@BoyGeorge You forgot ten songs there, old son."

In response to @YahooNews tweeting, "520-million-year-old sea monster with preserved brain unearthed": "@YahooNews When I saw the headline, I half-expected to see a photograph of Ann Widdecombe."

In response to @glitteredup tweeting, "@MorrisseyParody Oh, hello lovely. Late but always welcome.": "@glitteredup You sound like one of my lovers waking up." (Ed - "One of my lovers"??? How many has he got?)

"All we need is an MW bar. Stage five of MW entails opening one. I'm not joking."

In response to @Heathercat222 asking, "@MorrisseyParody So MW isn't over yet?": "The blog is over. But one of the authors intends to open an MW bar. Who needs a virtual pub?" (Ed - A real MW pub! *slobbers at the thought* A jukebox crammed with Patti, NYD, Françoise, Timi, Morrissey, T Rex, Bowie... oh lordy, lordy, but where would it be? It would have to be LA, with semi-naked humasexual waiters.)





THE BAR STAFF AT THE NEW 'MORRISSEY'S WORLD' BAR IN LA - L TO R: LOUGHTON, RAT, MANC LAD AND BROKEN

In response to @Lizzycatmoz snidely asking to be banned from the BRS forever and a day: "Be warned - if you're invited back into MW and you decline with a bitchy aside, you are excommunicated. This isn't the papacy; it's more."

"@katyperry Somehow Katy Perry manages to be more vacuous on twitter than she is in person - SOMEHOW."

"Is it possible to die of tiredness? If so, I am doing. If not, I might be the first."

In response to a tweet from @oxfordsarah saying, "Crazy scary storm. The lightening is just wild tonight.": ""Crazy scary storm" is a good song title."

"@enrique305 How did pop music become so dull?"

"Ziggy, T Rex, The Smiths vs @enrique305 @katyperry @edsheeran hash tag sad"

"This is my finest album. World Peace ranks alongside Queen, Strangeways, Viva, Vauxhall, Southpaw, Quarry and Refusal."

"@AustinMahone Now we have a Justin Bieber copyist. When we all thought even Justin Bieber doesn't want to be Justin Bieber. Who would want to watch a Justin Bieber parody? Ah, over 6 million souls do... hash tag taste"

"I have 10 000 times fewer followers than a Justin Bieber parody with no good songs."

Our Mozzer returned to The Twit Arms again at 7.30am this morning:

"However bad things get, we can all be grateful we're not @ColeenRoo"

"Do you think @ColeenRoo married @WayneRooney for his looks or his charm?"


THE PERFECT MODERN 'CELEB' COUPLE

"We're all too busy to be desperate. It's only when the tiredness recedes that one realises quite what a mess one's made of one's life."

"My talent is exhausted and now I paint over the cracks with past glories and half-formed new songs."

And then he was gone, no doubt to swallow those 16 pills. The highs and lows of a genius being rested for another day.

Before signing off from twitter this morning, Our Mozzer retweeted a Stephen Fry tweet that was promoting a festival for Positive Mental Health.

In other news, Morrissey yesterday posted a statement on TTY regarding the death of the actress Elaine Stritch. In the statement, Moz wrote, "Can we appreciate the people who are around us right now? The answer, of course, is No, for we are all pathetic human beings." The statement was signed Morrissey Switzerland, 2014.


And finally, despite all that has happened in recent weeks, I would imagine that Morrissey was immensely proud to see Kristeen Young make her television debut this week on The Late Late Show. That girl can sing!




"A tired psyche. A heavy heart. And there is no elixir to soothe or heal. With this, we are always alone. I curl into myself and bleed" - @FadingGoldLeaf July 17 2014

NB. My blog entry of yesterday hit a new low. Just 60 hits. I can also confirm that my blog has had NO hits from Switzerland.

World Peace is None of Your Business entered the UK chart yesterday at Number 2; Morrissey's SIXTH album to reach No.2.

Morrissey had carried out NO personal promotion for the album, had given NO interviews, and DIDN'T promote it with a tour. At the same age (55), David Bowie released the album Heathen, which reached No.5 in the UK chart.

Nevermind by Nirvana reached No.7 in the UK album charts, whilst Setting Sons by The Jam reached No.4. The Bends by Radiohead also reached No.4 and Radiohead's last album, The King of Limbs (2011) reached No.7. Achtung Baby by U2 reached No.2, as did The Final by Wham! David Bowie's Tin Machine II reached No.23.

There has been no sign of any Morrissey pessoas in The Twitterdilly Arms, and FollowingTheMozziah has received NO hits from Switzerland.

This morning I was flicking through some old pages of my blog, when I stumbled across a parody piece from May of last year entitled, 'Dear Diary'. I have to say, it made me laugh out loud re-reading it, and it got me thinking that I should write more parody pieces, but I can't, for I have lost my creative juices.

There has been no word from TRM or OM, but the mysterious Orange Mécanique (@mecaniqueorange) has reappeared on the scene, accusing me of posting the Leonid Albrecht story on the internet:


I wrote about Monsieur Orange on June 5th, suggesting that he may be a Morrissey pessoa. Orange Mécanique, who has not been seen around these parts since June 8th when the tour ended abruptly, has since retracted his accusation about me being behind the bluerosesociety tumblr, and has now in fact pointed his finger at the authors of MW, which would mean he thinks it's Moz! Whoever the author of the BRS tumblr is, they have put together a comprehensive list of 'coincidences', and it makes for excellent reading: http://bluerosesociety.tumblr.com/. It is interesting to note that Orange M has said that he was led to the BRS tumblr via this debate on Solow about Smiler With Knife: http://www.morrissey-solo.com/threads/131772-Lyrics-to-Smiler-With-Knife?highlight=bluerosesociety.tumblr.com.

It is also interesting to note that the person on Solow who mentioned the link between Smiler and the Leonid story is..... Vanitas M. Berrymore, who regular readers of FTM will recognise as somebody I have previously written about;http://bluerosesociety.tumblr.com/post/92228727210/brazil being the person who told us we had missed the sign given by @ItsMorrissey about Twin Peaks: http://followingthemozziah.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/day-989-testing-1-2-twin-peaks-link-to.html. Jigsaw, jigsaw, jigsaw.

As to whether Orange M and Vanitas really are Moz pessoas or not, I guess we will never know, but it's all interesting stuff. I can once again confirm that FTM has had NO hits from Switzerland, so it would suggest that Orange M isn't Moz, and it would also suggest that Morrissey is NOT  currently reading my blog.... unless of course Morrissey isn't in Switzerland!


TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 15 (NOT BROADCAST IN THE TWIT ARMS DUE TO NO-ONE ATTENDING WHEN FLUFF APPEARED AT THE USUAL TIME OF 12.45PM):

1. OBOE CONCERTO - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Ej_71ydZs

2. KISS ME A LOT - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6zaCKz1r2U

3. STAIRCASE AT THE UNIVERSITY - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_Sa74o6j3Q

4. I'M NOT A MAN - MORRISSEY (UP 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2oAyMhFheo

5. KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE  - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2lLoSNkYos

6. SCANDINAVIA - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuyYV_BawxM&feature=youtu.be

7. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES - MORRISSEY (UP 1): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDwYwxyW9Nk&list=UUDU3CV0DWroHOlsXK566PVQ

8. MOUNTJOY - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H7mXyRYng

9.  WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 5): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBCg28Pxc0Q&feature=youtu.be

10. ONE OF OUR OWN - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfDJzsBAWaw&feature=youtu.be

11. JULIE IN THE WEEDS - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IztcOrlIU8g

12. FORGIVE SOMEONE - MORRISSEY (DOWN 2): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka7Ocldto2U

13. EARTH IS THE LONELIEST PLANET (LIVE IN SAN JOSE 2014) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 8): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHDNICm9MVg

14. ISTANBUL - MORRISSEY (DOWN 5):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWn5iqSdJUs&feature=youtu.be

15. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE IN MIAMI 2014) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfB9snjudt4


LATE ADDITION: Orange Mécanique has left a comment on today's blog asking, "I also don't understand all the images on bluerosesociety.tumblr. What does the picture of the band mean? 


THE MORRISSEY BAND PHOTO ON BLUEROSESOCIETY.TUMBLR.COM - WHY IS IT LISTED AMONGST THE COINCIDENCES? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? ..... AND ACCORDING TO ORANGE M, THIS PHOTO APPEARS NOWHERE ELSE ON THE INTERNET! WHO TOOK IT? ARE THE MORRISSEYBAND ALL INVOLVED IN MORRISSEYSWORLD?

Answers on a postcard.... or in the comments section of this page. Thank you.

The above photo, which I posted on yesterday's blog, has been identified as having been taken by the barmaid at the 'Kill Your Idol' pub in Miami, and it was apparently (according to Clover Dean) first posted on Jesse Tobias instagram page, although it no longer seems to be there. The reason the photo seems to have been added to the BRS tumblr, is because the photo has the 'All-Seeing Eye' in it, which was a major part of MorrisseysWorld. I shall leave Orange Mécanique and Broken to explain:

"I've stared at the picture of the band for a while now, and two things strike me as odd:
First, Solomon again seems isolated on that picture, like in the album sleeve of World Peace. Could that be a hint at "solo"?
Second, the all-seeing eye in the background. Wasn't that one part of the MorrisseysWorld blog?
As pointed out to Rats on twitter, the band might play a much bigger role in the whole story than everyone thinks. Wouldn't they ask questions why they're supposed to wear certain shirts? Isn't it well-known how good Morrissey and his band work together? I think people should pay way more attention to them."
Posted by Orange Mécanique to Following The Mozziah at 22 July 2014 16:16

"That is indeed the all-seeing-eye. In fact it is the symbol of British intelligence, if anyone cares to look it up, and it was specifically included on the blog. It's certainly a rather creepy coincidence.
The allegation above that willow was 'bullied' is pathetic. Willow expressed anger/frustration at my posting of shirtless biebs, and I told her to 'get lost' and blocked her. I am allowed to block people and tell them to get lost when they insult or criticise me for posting a shirtless picture of a man.
If you don't like me, don't follow me, as someone once said.
The BRS is bigger than ever. The old blog posts received no hits at all and no comments for over two years.
More importantly, we have high quality people, not low quality homophobes and divisive characters.
Parody on the way!"
Posted by Broken to Following The Mozziah at 22 July 2014 19:30

All is quiet in MorrisseysWorld, and FTM has still had NO hits from Switzerland. I think I will make this my last blog entry for a while.

The other day, I reactivated the ability for anonymous comments to be left on my blog, but it has resulted in abuse and spam, so I have now de-activated it again. Here is an example of one of the misguided anon's, although I can't help but think that it might be a self-deprecating Morrissey, although as I have already pointed out in my opening sentence, I have had NO hits from Switzerland, so it can't be:


"Solo will always be above this sorry site!

Maybe if the band and Morrissey worried more about composing some quality music and some worthwhile lyrics, the clown and his posse would have sold more than he did. Additionally, some more attention to quality lyrics instead of worrying about posting ridiculous and disgusting pics of JB, under as TRB would say, a pessoa, would have caused for more of his fan base to connect with and appreciate the release. After hearing many of the singles, countless fans decided that Morrissey has become a deluded old and bitter man who has now devolved into a sorry sod without much to say--or perhaps--without much to say in his former intellectual and intriguing ways."
Posted by Anonymous to Following The Mozziah at 23 July 2014 23:53

As it is a quiet news day, here is my response:

Dear Anon, I think you'll find that you are in a minority regarding the quality of the music and lyrics on World Peace, with most fans and critics seeing it as "the best Morrissey album since Vauxhall & I". World Peace would undoubtedly have sold more copies if the album had been promoted, but with no tour, no interviews and no advertising campaign other than a few posters here and there, most fans were oblivious to the fact that Morrissey had even released a new album.

As for your statement about the "ridiculous and disgusting pics of JB" distracting Morrissey from writing quality lyrics, this is simply laughable.Song writers don't spend all day every day sitting around writing songs, so Morrissey's time spent posting pics of Justin Bieber on twitter is no different to a bio-chemist spending his spare time surfing the internet for 'foot-fetish' porn, or a brick layer reading a Jackie Collins novel. The pictures are only "ridiculous" or "disgusting" in your personal opinion. It is actually VERY feasible that Morrissey would find JB attractive, but you are probably correct in your assumption that some Morrissey fans would not be able to accept their "God" having an attraction to a plastic pop-star like Justin Bieber, which is perhaps why Morrissey does it via a pessoa. It could of course be that it is just the 'character','Broken' who fancies Bieber, and Morrissey himself has no interest in him whatsoever. If it is the case that Morrissey actually does fancy Bieber, and he is showing us see his true feelings, then we should feel extremely privileged. The whole importance of all this will never be truly understood until Morrissey is dead, and historians study him.

Your statement about "countless fans" turning away from Morrissey having heard the singles has no basis. With the exception of Uncle Skinny calling World Peace "plodding, one-dimensional and uninspiring", the majority of fans have praised the singles, although again, due to lack of radio airplay or any promotion, the vast majority of fans would have had no idea that any Morrissey singles had actually been released.

Your final statement about Morrissey not having much to say in his "former intellectual and intriguing ways" is desperately wrong. Anybody who has followed the MorrisseysWorld blog and twitter account will be able to tell you that Morrissey is as intelligent, sharp, witty and intriguing as ever, and the lyrics to this latest batch of songs would also back this up.

World Peace would have been a Number 1 album if somebody at Harvest had done their research properly, and kept it away from being released at the same time as the biggest album of 2014 (X by Dread Sheeran). It is just like 1987 all over again, when Strangeways, Here We Come was released at the same time as Michael Jackson's Bad.

Carry on hating, old son, this world needs haters, or it would be far too sickly.

Viva Hate

Rat

That's it then. Unless that promised parody piece is posted, or Our Mozzer reappears in The Twit Arms, I am off to spend the rest of the summer at cricket grounds across the south of England. This coming Sunday and Monday I shall be at the Ageas Bowl in Southampton watching England play India, and next weekend I am off to Somerset, which has meant giving away my ticket to see Johnny Marr.

I shall sign off by offering congratulations to my  friends, Midlife Matt and STS, on the arrival of their first child, Morrissey!

I have been bullied into writing today by GWO, who yesterday left a comment on my blog regarding an interview given by Morrissey's sound engineer, Maxime Le Guil, with a French website called LesInRocks.Com. The interview is not only very insightful regarding the happenings in the recording studio at La Fabrique, but there are certain things mentioned by Le Guil that the likes of GWO, Jazissey and Heathercat have linked to MorrisseysWorld, or at least to one particular MW article,The Black Lodge; in which Morrissey goes behind a curtain in a café, and ends up in the Black Lodge.


MAXIME LE GUIL - SOUND ENGINEER ON WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

In the interview with LesInRocks, Le Guil explains that during the recording of the LP World Peace is None of Your Business, Morrissey would disappear behind a black curtain to record his vocals, and on one occasion disappeared from behind the curtain and wasn't seen for two days!

 If this is true about Moz disappearing for two days, it may fit in with something Morrissey shared with me in an email from La Fabrique on February 19th, in which he said he went to the "dreary homeland recently" to find the "last missing words". Could it be that Morrissey came back to England without telling any of the band or crew where he was going? I'm not sure if I have posted this email before, but here it is anyway:

Subject: Those who seek eternal treasure must use no guile in weight or measure 

From: ******* *********

To: ******** ***

Date: 02/19/14 23:08:28 



Thank you for your virtual postcard. I was starting to think I had been forgotten for good and yet I was not surprised.


People forget easily.




It is going well in France at the moment. There are days - and nights - of intense work, long hours stuck inside a dark room forgetting which day, month, hour it is, followed by days of intense emptiness and rest.


My typical day involves overexposed confidence, sickening doubt, extreme creativity, gut-wrenching disappointment, child-like excitement and cheese on toast.


A man with a smile larger than his shoulders compulsively listens to the whole repertoire of France Gall (remember I played some of her songs in the Twitterdilly Arms once?) 


On the other side of the room, a man with shiny shoes dances happily to Serge Gainsbourg's songs (I also played his songs but Willow disapproved).


And I am just sitting here, watching them and I caught myself smiling a couple of times (thankfully, no one saw me).


It is all enjoyable and exhausting.


This is life, this is Art, this may be what happiness looks like but how would I know?




As long as what comes next is better than what was before, I will be able to sleep at night.




I had to go to the dreary homeland recently. 


It only took a few lonely hours in a quiet room, a walk in an empty park, zigzagging on a half-flooded path jostled by gale who rudely stole my hat and umbrella and a fresh rain slap, to find the last missing words.




I always know where to go.




I don't know if recording an album in 12 days is natural but it doesn't sound unnatural to me. Once you know what you want to say, how you want to say it and that you surround yourself with the right people, then it doesn't need to take that much time.


But it certainly does not happen very often. Not in these times anyway.




In motu,




***** - ***

I'd love to know what those "last missing words" were. It should be noted that the mention of "12 days" was not a reference to the recording of World Peace, but to me mentioning that Brian Eno's Here Come the Warm Jets LP was recorded in 12 days, and asking Moz if that was natural.

The mention in Morrissey's email of Serge Gainsbourg songs being played in the studio is VERY interesting, as Maxime Le Guil mentions in his interview that, "Morrissey worshipped Histoire de Melody Nelson by Serge Gainsbourg." Of course this is just YET ANOTHER coincidence, and it means NOTHING!





Also in the interview with LesInRocks, Le Guil mentions that Morrissey would drink Champagne, which is rather interesting as Fifi was always partial to the odd glass of Veuve Clicquot whenever she visited The Twitterdilly Arms. I wonder if it was Veuve that Moz was drinking at La Fab?

Le Guil also states that scattered around the studio, on the piano and shelves etc, were shirtless pictures of Moz; although it has been mentioned elsewhere that it was actually copies of Your Arsenal. As to why Moz chose to place Your Arsenal around the studio I really don't know, as World Peace is nothing like Your Arsenal... or is it? In my review of WPINOYB, I likened 'Staircase' to 'Fatty', and the introduction to 'I'm Not a Man' could certainly be linked to 'I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday', so maybe Your Arsenal was an influence for World Peace.


PHOTO CURTESY OF JOE FRADY

Right then, enough of my ramblings. The reason that I decided to blog today was because GWO had mentioned the curtain link, so I have decided to reproduce the whole of the original three part MorrisseysWorld piece, which I happened to take a copy of. Before I post it, let me quickly mention two other snippets; firstly, WPINOYB has entered the Billboard Top 200 at Number 14, which is quite an achievement for a British singer. Cliff Richard's highest charting US album to date is his 1976 LP entitled 'I'm Nearly Famous', which peaked at Number 76, and artists such as Gary Barlow, Robbie Williams and Cheryl Cole have never had a Top 200 album in the USA.

Secondly, Kristeen Young has been receiving a hammering from religious groups in the US following her tv debut on The Late Late Show, with them calling her "satanic". Rather ironically, these religious groups are also saying that Kristeen is being championed by the media, YES, "CHAMPIONED"!  KY shared her thoughts with me on this via twitter: "@TheRatsBack Ha. If only. Please...could I "sell out"? Devil, are you listening? No? That's what I thought. Also, it's funny how I've managed to hypnotize & control the media, major artists, & 1000s into buying my album. How do I do it?" KY also added, "I've always ONLY cared about writing & singing/playing. I've no interest in any other aspect. THAT can be a problem (I've learned)." Kristeen Young is so like Morrissey, and it is such a shame they fell out, but all fall-outs can be mended, so hopefully we will one day see KY back on tour with Moz, and maybe even dueting on stage.


 KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE - MORRISSEY FEATURING KRISTEEN YOUNG

So then, to the main event. Here is the MorrisseysWorld article mentioned by GWO, which was posted in three parts between Wednesday, 18 December and Sunday, 22 December 2013. The parts were entitled; Morrissey lifts the red curtain, The Black Lodge and The Black Lodge Part II. Here it is in full. I do not own the copyright to this piece, but as the author of MW is never likely to reveal themselves, I should be safe!:

Morrissey lifts the red curtain 

In an elegant café at 5.30 pm one weekday afternoon are Morrissey and his friend Jonathan Ross. The two men sit opposite each other at a large table away from the outside windows. At a small table to the side of them sits Boz Boorer in a French maid's outfit. The pop icon and his wealthy friend are taking afternoon tea, while Boz Boorer is drinking tap water from a jug.



         Boz

Boz breaks wind and shuffles his backside around on the chair, looking nervously left, then right and then left again.

"I think even Jason Orange heard that one," says Morrissey in a firm voice, pointing at the chap from Take That, dining at a table for two in the corner.

"I don't think that's Jason Owange, Mozzer - it's Wobbie Williams!" Jonathan Ross says under his breath.

"Oh I call them all Jason Orange, except Jason Orange of course; I haven't the faintest idea what he looks like."

                                                               


                    Jason Orange

                                                 
"Doesn't he live near you Mozzer?" Jonathan asks with undue enthusiasm.

"Next door," says Morrissey flatly.

"Weally? Ah, you almost had me there, Mozzer! I wonder who Wobbie's dining with. Do you think that might be Jason Owange, Mozzer?"

"I think that's his cousin, Jonathan. Robbie Williams changes cousins more often than I change drummers."
     

Picture of his cousin from his Facebook page with the caption: "waiting for the bus."



"Are you enjoying your... tap water, Boz?" asks Wossy above the commotion, with deadpan sincerity.


Boz says nothing, he just stares into the distance.

"Boz, can you hear me?" asks Wossy, concerned.

But Boz doesn't reply.

"Boz..?"

"I wouldn't worry Jonathan - he's probably just trying to remember something; at worst he's having an absence seizure."

"Does he have those often Mozzer?"

"Not that I know of."

"He might be having a stroke or something!"

"Well I could always bring back Alain, or even Craig Gannon."

"Boz...!" shouts Wossy. A few tables turn and stare.

"Sorry there Mr Ross I was just mediating," says Boz Boorer, turning to face the former BBC presenter in full earshot of Natasha Kaplinsky.


            Boz Boorer in meditative mood

The seminal artiste Morrissey rolls his eyes and taps the table.

"I didn't know you were into that," says Jonathan playfully.

"Into what?" Asks Boz.

"Into meditation!"

"Ah yes... I'd forgotten sir... you see one has to empty the mind to mediate properly and I'm such a powerful mediator I sometimes forget I've even done it, you see, sir, sometimes I actually forget where I am. Once I even forgot who I am, but Lynn reminded me and then-"

"-Shut up Boz. We're trying to have a civilised conversation here," interjects the seminal artiste helpfully. "Besides - emptying your mind, it would seem to me, would be the least of your worries."

Wossy sniggers and picks up his cup of tea.

Natasha Kaplinsky smiles at Morrissey. The iconic star looks straight through her as though she isn't even there, and then gazes at the floor.


"That's her from ITV News, Mozzer!..."

"Anne Robinson's plastic surgeon deserves a peerage," mutters Morrissey, sipping his tea.

"No! That's Natasha Kaplinsky, silly... and it looks like she wants your telephone number!-"

"-Fax number, I think you mean..."

"Yes, your fax number. Are you going to give it to her?"

"That's a bit forward, Jonathan," says Morrissey softly. "Perhaps we'll start by just exchanging fax details."

Jonathan Ross splutters and tea runs out of his nose. Boz Boorer laughs fulsomely and nods at Jonathan Ross. Jonathan Ross can't stop giggling, and tries to mop the tea off his salmon-coloured blazer. "Christ!" He mutters, dabbing at his lapel with a carefully pressed serviette.

Boz Boorer bursts into even louder laughter. Jonathan Ross continues giggling. Boz throws his head back and laughs and laughs. Then he begins crying. Jonathan Ross gazes at him and giggles a bit more. Boz gets louder and three or four diners stop and stare. Boz continues crying loudly.

"Eh?" Boz says cheerfully, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Eh, Mr Ross?" His laughter grows louder.

Morrissey's eyes grow narrow. He licks his lips.

"Hahahahahahahahahah" roars Boz Boorer. "Did you see that, Mozzer, I say, sir, did you see that? Did you see that, sir? Did you see what Mr Ross just did, sir? Did you see that, sir? I say, sir, did you see that? Eh? Eh? Did you-"

"-Is this Hell?" asks Morrissey sighing deeply.

"So... how's the old Blue Wose Society coming along, Mozzer?" Asks Jonathan.

"Nothing seems to work," says Morrissey, raising his voice above Boorer's hysterical wailing, which by now, accompanied by thigh-slapping and belly rubbing, makes a sound not dissimilar to that of an exuberant peacock having a loud argument with an extremely forlorn pigeon. "It's rather peculiar," whispers Morrissey.

He goes on, suddenly looking anxious: "Endless references - the prominent blue rose on Morrissey 25 Live, which, of course, you've seen..."

Jonathan nods unconvincingly.

"...the white rose bracelet at the Nobel Peace Prize appearance; Boz even arranged for a female tramp from Manchester - what's the PC term again? Vagrant? -  to pretend to fight with another woman at that book signing I did. I had hoped it would draw the attention of the world's media upon my vase of roses, boost the old enigmatic otherness factor, bring some new faces into the old blogging community - all to no avail, of course... b******ds didn't even put it on BBC News 24. It's on YouTube; it has about thirty views."


2 women pretending to fight at Morrissey's book launch, from YouTube

"Boz arranged a fake fight between two women?" Asks Jonathan with incredulity. "Did you have to pay them, Mozzer?"

"I didn't pay them both, Jonathan. I'm not made of money, you know. I did pay one of them. The other woman was, so far as I know, a genuine victim of crime.... not that I'm criminally liable of course. It was Boz who arranged it all..."

Jonathan smirks: "I'm not sure the police would see it that way, Mozzer!" He laughs, brushing back his dishevelled formerly Wildean mop.

"Keep it down, old son. You never know who might be listening."

Morrissey throws his steely stare across the room. All the love suddenly goes from his expression.

"Sorry Mozzer," says Jonathan, trying to look as serious as one can when one has a face like his. "you were just saying..."

"..Yes, that little performance cost me £150. Which means each view has cost me... the princely sum of... five quid, thanks to Boz Boorer'srank incompetence..."

Boz Boorer turns towards the seminal artiste.

"...I couldn't help overhearing, sir and... I was... just wondering Mozzer... didn't I - if you don't mind me saying so -  pay for that, sir, if you remember, sire?..." asks Boz Boorer with an obsequious bow of the crown.

"... Oh come now, Boz. Pay for what exactly?" Asks the mesmerizing monk of post-punk, appearing suddenly exasperated. "Who is it that pays your wages again? And in triplicate, as session musician, butlerand drag artiste?" Morrissey asks, looking grave. "The b******d government is just the same, telling the British public "WE paid for this," and "WE paid for that," when, in fact, whose money is it actually? Yes, old Mozzer's again. Like the government, Boz, you don't create wealth, you only spend it, old son. Like the government, it's not even your s*dding money. Like the government you're a s*dding parasite... like the government, you're a rapacious b******d with his hand in my pocket, stealing my last pennies just as the worst of the winter weather arrives....a common thief wearing respectable - in your case semi-respectable - clothes....not to be rude of course, old friend-"

"-Of course sir, I hadn't thought about it that way..." says Boorer instantly becalmed.

Morrissey nods with a sceptical look in his eyes which seems to sayyou still don't understand, do you?

"Now you've explained it, sir, it makes perfect sense because-"

"-I think I'll go and powder my nose," mutters Morrissey, standing up and sashaying towards the lavatory.

Once in the lavatory, Morrissey opens his flies and catches sight of some trees out of the frosted window. 'What lovely sycamore trees,' he reflects. When his stream finally ends, he scowls and with an audible heave, pushes again, producing a final dribble, before zipping up and washing both his hands, and, furtively, his penis too with plenty of soap from the dispenser, gazing back over his shoulder and listening out for the sound of the door opening.

Then he wanders outside through the fire exit and gazes at the pretty circle of sycamore trees. Suddenly he detects a strange smell, like scorched engine oil. A red velvet curtain appears to be hanging just beyond the circle. He blinks and rubs his eyes. Yes, there it is. A red velvet curtain just hanging.


Morrissey takes small steps towards the red curtain. It appears to be hanging almost from nothing at all in the leaden blackness of the early evening.

He lifts the curtain and steps beyond it...



Beyond the red curtain lies a room. The sound of music fills the air.




Seventeen voices whisper carefully chosen words simultaneously: a dismal maelstrom emanating from a painting on the wall. The sibilance of the sound reminds one of the sea and of serpentine cunning and of hands sliding down bannisters in a hurry for tea. The words are lost amidst the grotesque ugliness of the sound, the painful euphony of clashing syllables and synthetic emotion. Each voice sounds dead, empty, soulless. The painting is strange.


As the voices coalesce and then diverge in time like the pulsing of a pig's heart, words come into focus and then blur.


"In 1982, intention was all that I had. Wintriness breeds wintriness, as a writer once wrote. When the soul lives in a glum rock box and the air is frostier than any half-remembered June day-excursion to Scarborough, the beauty of the freezing cold is all that one possesses. Sycamore tree leafless and crippled leans, like stag antlers bored into frozen top soil; green frog-eye Wellington boots scurry for grip on un-gritted roads; small bluish hand enshrined in fuliginous fingers, glinting under raw sodium lights; the Arndale centre like some oafish soul-cemetery, sucking in the human spirit like coke through a straw, and twisting it into a walking, breathing, cacophonous death. Snow fell that winter. And I made my plans."


Snow falls upwards from the floor. Morrissey's eyes fill with dread. What does it mean? The picture on the wall fades behind the mass of snowflakes drifting upwards; they land on the ceiling, forming small drops of water. The drops form streams and the streams form puddles and the puddles form an ever-growing layer of water resting on the ceiling, never dripping down, just sitting there, small ripples expanding outwards from the landing flakes.

"Snow falls sometimes when it's cold," says a familiar voice. Morrissey gazes upwards at the swelling lake, which would quite soon drown him. "Snow is comprised of crystalline frozen water which falls from clouds. Children often love to play in snow."

The voice is that of Log Lady. Morrissey knows he must leave. He turns back to leave via the red curtain, but when he pulls back the drapes, there is nothing beyond - only blankness. In a panic, he moves along the room and peers behind another segment of curtain; nothing, just black space. Where is the café? Where are the sycamore trees?

The snow falls heavier. It moves upwards at 1.7 metres per second in waves. The air is a frozen fog. The sound of Jimmy Scott fills his ears and his heart. He runs across the floor, which remains as dry as human bone. Wherever he looks there is nothing beyond the curtain.

The music grows louder.

The water on the ceiling, now a third of the way down the red velvet walls, vibrates in sympathy with each note of piano, each aquatic burst of synth, each sensual hazy burst of that old voice.

Another voice is heard: "It is what we fear that happens to us."

"Oscar?" says Morrissey. But it is not a question.

Morrissey's fingers are cold, his clothes are wet and his eyes can hardly see. Half of the room is now a square lake of water hanging above his head. The snow melts on his cheeks, runs up his forehead and drips upwards from the tips of his hairs. Death will soon be upon him, by drowning or by hypothermia. He licks his lips, filled with regret and a sudden terror: there's a chance the world will never read of this lethal malady on True-To-You, will never obtain the details of his latest diseases and/or hospital stay...




As this fatal thought emerges, he feels a sense of anguish deep within his Barrett's oesophagus.

Just then a slug is seen on the floor, slithering along. There is no rock, no hole, no place for it to have come from and no place for it to go to.

Morrissey closes his eyes and prays. Nothing happens.

The snow is still coming thick and cold.

"Stoned to death," Morrissey whispers; "but still dying."

The water reaches the top of his head. He kneels on the floor shivering, the slug his only companion in a room which will become his grave. As his many mistakes flash before his eyes - why did I hire those b*****d lawyers and dreary drummers? Why didn't I fire more managers? Why sing to substandard fans whom I could have ejected?  -  seventeen whispering voices sound once again:


"Words are crystals; they cry out in a tonic symphony. An experiment in colour is something like a shaft of light in the void of this pitiful verse. When the slug bends, something falls. The cacophony is unbearable."


It sounds like a black hymn: spiteful and true.

Instantly, the slug bends. The water crashes from the ceiling on to the floor before Morrissey can gather his thoughts. In less than a couple of seconds, Morrissey finds himself floating on top of the surface of the water, being dragged underneath by his heavy, dank clothes, with lungs full of inhaled water. He splutters and kicks his legs to stay afloat. He gathers his mind from his shoes and coughs up his Barrett's oesophagus, along with his stomach and half of his duodenum.

The strange painting floats past him, song pouring out of its canvas. He opens one eye. On the painting: a door.

He motions towards it with his fingertips - it is his last hope. The tiny door opens somehow, lifting away from the canvas like the door of an advent calendar. And he squeezes through - into a doorway not large enough for his forearm to pass through.

Some time later...

Morrissey finds himself waking up on the floor of a long corridor. Is this the afterlife?

As he rises from the floor wondering where, in fact, he is, a lit figure moves towards him. Morrissey freezes. The figure resembles a pile of untouched sandwiches and carries a wooden hammer.



"suoived, tnelucurt dna elbailernu." The figure says, hobbling disinterestedly by.

"t*uc," says Morrissey.

He inspects the floor - it's like a black mirror; the walls and roof are the same. He walks and he walks. His legs ache with adrenaline, frozen yet burning; his eyes tired of scanning for imagined danger (rats? Joyce? That man?) in the leaden black of this endless night. In his desperation, he sings the solemn words of his latest single, 'Satellite of Love.' Well, someone has to.

The air is damp and fungal; his fingers quiver nervously; his heart sounds in his ears blocking out the echoing whispers and Lou Reed's song. Still he trudges on.

Finally he arrives at a door. Somehow he knows seven and a half minutes have elapsed, yet it feels like thirty years. He knows he can't turn back. He knows death is behind him.

He glances back over his shoulder into the vast, constricting blackness of the corridor. The echoes are ever more silent, yet they never stop, as if trapped inside an infinity. He places his fingers on a black, metallic doorknob.  'It is what we fear that happens to us.'With a twist, he walks inside, grimacing, as he's thumped in the face by light and sound.

"Welcome back," says the figure, obscured by heads and what appear to be TV cameras. A man points towards Morrissey. "Which camera are we on?" Asks the unseen figure light-heartedly.

"Ah... yes, and now a guest we've been looking forward to interviewing for ages - haven't we?"

"Yes - he doesn't give interviews very often," says a wobbly, slightly fuzzy female voice.

"Uhm, we're very happy to welcome him to the studio to talk about his fascinating book  - Morrissey!"

polite applause. A single whistle.

Two faces come into view as Morrissey steps forward towards the sofa.



Morrissey stands blinking in the bright studio lights.


"Come and join us Morrissey," says Richard. "Your trousers look wet - is it raining out there?"

"... I almost died," murmurs Morrissey. "Half a lake just crashed down upon me. I thought I was going to die."

"He has such a poetic way about him, doesn't he?" Asks Judy with a smile, turning to her partner.

"In a sense," says Richard, sitting forward and musing to himself. "Do you think that's one of the secrets of your success as an artist - the ability to turn a mundane event, like rain, into something that has more emotional resonance?"

Morrissey says nothing and looks disconcerted.

"Because you've been very successful..." Richard goes on. "It's crazythe number of people we know who don't just like you, but love you... isn't it, Judy?"

"Yes... let him answer, Richard," says Judy with irritation.

"...Sorry."

Morrissey places his fingers against his temple and his thumb against his lower jaw. He closes his eyes. Do they know about the corridor? Do they know about the room? Am I actually on TV? Is this a bad dream?

"...well," Morrissey begins. "I..."

His eyes dart around the studio as he suddenly realises the horror of what is happening to him. His voice tails off into a whisper; all thoughts cease. This is worse than The One Show.

"... Do you mind if I pop to the lavatory?" asks Morrissey.

"...Erm... yeah!... Erm..." Richard gazes into the camera, lost just for a moment. "We've never had that request on air before, have we, Judy?"

"Richard, don't be rude. Tell him where the loo is. Morrissey, it's just through that door-" Judy says, pointing at the door he stepped through a few moments ago.

"We'll be back right after the break. Don't go anywhere," says Richard. "We'll be talking about Morrissey's book, which has really grabbed the critics. It's the most talked about book of 2013, isn't it?"

The theme music begins before Judy can reply. Morrissey decides to take his chances and twists the door handle, stepping through and finding himself back inside the same damp corridor. The last thing he hears before he closes the door firmly behind him is Judy saying, "I wish you wouldn't ask me so many questions when you know I've got a headache..."




Disappearing mid interview should boost the old enigmatic otherness factor, leave them craving just a little bit more, he thinks as he trudges along the corridor in his damp shoes. Suddenly being trapped inside a supernatural tunnel in the pitch black with no way out doesn't seem quite as distressing.

If this is it, he reflects - if this is the end, then I will die with dignity. No Richard. No Judy.

As he continues along the corridor, he tries to figure out what it all means. Wasn't it the case that Agent Cooper managed to escape from the Black Lodge by doing Bob's bidding and allowing Bob to possess his body in return for the survival of his beloved, Annie? Perhaps, thinks Morrissey, I can give my body to Bob in order to protect my beloved...Morrissey? He smirks and almost trips up. What was that? As he studies the floor, he sees... is that... a blue rose? He reaches down.

"B*****d belt," he says, loosening it a notch. Then he picks up the blue rose.

Instantly another lit figure comes drifting towards him. That's....that's...





The figure dances with a gentle sway, grinning unnaturally.

"Od uoy kniht m'I ggaws?"

"Pardon, old son?" asks Morrissey.

"Od uoy kniht m'I ggaws?"

"I think you should be rather less concerned about being that and a little more concerned with writing some decent tunes, old son. Now what did happen to that South American tour you'd promised me? When I tweeted Scooter, I got nowhere old friend, and after all that helpful advice Aunty Mozzer gave you... the gold clothing, the geek chic, stripping to the waist. Who gave you the idea for a certain million-selling DVD called 'Never Say Never' with his own fly-on-the-ar*e documentary 'The Importance of Being Morrissey?' Yet who was denied a penny in royalties or even a small word of acknowledgement? Old Mozzer, as usual, always Old Mozzer..."

"Od uoy kniht m'I ggaws?"

"Well old friend," says Morrissey softly. "Not to be rude of course but it takes years to perfect one's appeal. Do you think this old thing came cheaply?" asks the seminal artiste, gazing down at his own trunk, shrouded in an expensive designer shirt.

 "Do you think it's as easy as just taking off one's shirt with minimal effort? Not any old Tom, Dick or Harry can become eye candy, old son. One has to work at it, to perfect every twist of the flesh, to eat and drink well, live well, think well... One must ensure one's torso isembedded within the public consciousness; one's torso almost as important to the average Joe as their beloved's body, and almost as familiar. It takes many decades... years of frinking.... the public service of online erotic assistance. Your scrawny frame just won't do. If you do want to out-last the Backstreet Boys, to become a bona fide sex symbol, to strip off live beyond your late 20s and achieve what neither Nick Carter nor Justin Timberlake managed..."

The iconic star pauses for a moment.

"... You must try harder Justin. I'll show you how it's done..."

With that, Morrissey unbuttons his shirt and pulls it off his shoulders in one swooping motion.




"S'taht ggaws," says Justin, grinning. "Nmad, I hsiw I saw taht ggaws!"

"Your time will come," says Morrissey, strolling off into the dark. "Try writing some better lyrics."

"Yttik Eripme saw thgir," adds Justin in a flat tone, grinning and walking in the opposite direction. "Tub ruoy golb saw llits tihs!"

"I beg your pardon. Less of the 'was.' The Blog, I think you'll find, is still running."

But by now Justin has already disappeared, ever-grinning, swagg-ing and sagging into the blackness.

Morrissey, now shirtless and having been insulted by the ghost of a crass pop star, decides to button his shirt back up as he trudges along the corridor. I don't want another dose of pneumonia. He places the blue rose inside a buttonhole and sighs. He sees another door, which he is almost certain was not there earlier. Again it has a metallic black doorknob. He places his fingers around the handle and twists it...




"Yep - is he back? Ah... he's back," says Richard. "Morrissey come and join us...!"

Morrissey slams the door shut. The same Richard. The same studio. The same door? How can both doors lead to the same place? How is that possible?

"Boz...! Boz...!" He shouts. It's no good. Boz probably can't even hear him, and if he can it probably means the seminal artiste is in a coma, or has had a serious stroke, such that Boz can hear him, but he cannot hear Boz, and therefore there's little point in even having a butler.I'm in no position to demand fresh falafel at five am. Yet do the general public understand the depths of my emotional distress?

Just then the sound of music fills the air. Morrissey dashes to a small hole through which he can hear the sound of Jimmy Scott again. It must be the room he first entered. As he gazes through the aperture, he notices there is no water in there now! And is that... yes! It's the man from another place from Twin Peaks!

He tries to squeeze back through the hole, but he can't - because it's too small. But I came through it. Why can't I go back? Try as he might, even his forearm will not pass through the doorway to the painting.

"s'ti eht eulb esor," says the dwarf.

Morrissey removes the Blue Rose, throws it through the hole and then slides through like sewage inside a polythene bag.

Jimmy Scott's voice slows then stops.




"I want my Garmonbozia," says the Dwarf.

Bob takes his Garmonbozia from Leland Palmer and casts it on to the floor.

"Tub siht si ton laer," says the dwarf. Bob, Leland and Mike disappear. Morrissey is left with the Dwarf alone.

"Perhaps you could help me return to..." says Morrissey awkwardly. "the world... outside?"

The dwarf laughs.

"Erehw I emoc morf eht sdrib gnis a ytterp gnos."

Morrissey licks his lips. "I'd rather leave, if it's all the same to you, old friend. I have two albums to record, a book to promote, a small covered wagon of a band who absolutely depend on my compassion and financial support..."

Just then a face appears; a face so twisted and cruel, so filled with spite and jealousy that Morrissey doesn't even notice it is attached to the body of a goat. It is Mike Joyce, Joyce Iscariot.



The Joyce-goat runs backwards laughing, then closes its eyes. Then it opens them slowly, like the lids of lizards sliding upwards. It says: "Alright, Steve?"

Morrissey says nothing.

"Now you know I have nothing but respect for you, Steve. And that whole court case thing - it wasn't about the money, you know. No hard feelings...."

Morrissey's eyes close slightly.

"...Now this is awkward for me, but I've been told to tell you, Steve, that you can either spend the next thirty thousand years on Richard and Judy's couch getting to know them, or you can listen to music with my friend the man from another place in this room instead," says Joyce breezily.

"How did you attain this position? Just a simple drummer?" asks Morrissey, licking his lips.

"Lleh si tahw uoy ekam ti," says the Dwarf, spinning on the spot.

"If I'm dead - if I'm genuinely dead - and I have to spend eternity with an insane little c*nt... no offence old son.... who speaks backwards, listening to Twin Peaks music, or chat forever to R&J, then I'm afraid it's a rather straightforward decision. Music and the mad c*nt it is..."

"Let's Rock!" says the dwarf with a sickly smile. "There's always music in the air..."

The Joyce-Goat disappears. Agent Cooper and a girl who looks almost exactly like Laura Palmer appear. The music begins.






Morrissey screams.



 
 The room to infinity, the home of The Joyce-Goat - a room which exists beyond the Black Lodge.

Morrissey made a return to Twitter yesterday evening with a brand new account, but was soon chased away by the same old haters who just REFUSE to believe in anything to do with MorrisseysWorld. Many of the haters once again took the easy option of pointing the finger of suspicion at ME, with even the likes of Willow (@Smashingblouse7), who was once a 'full on' member of the Blue Rose Society, mockingly tweeting to say, "Ratty is hearing voices again."

Another tweeter called @Sean_Classic (formerly @Tony_Lemesmer who has been mentioned a few times before on FTM) also laid into me saying, "Rat loves talking to himself whilst pretending to be Morrissey, to sad people who actually believe it." He continued, "@TheRatsBack Each time you actually believe that the REAL Moz is actually on twitter & that there IS such a thing as the so-called "Blue Rose Society" you look stupider!" So, according to Sean, I am both pretending to be Morrissey, and stupid for believing that Morrissey is on twitter! HOW does that work? You couldn't make this up!


Here are Morrissey's (@stillMozsworld) highlights from his two hours on Twitter yesterday evening. He posted 37 tweets in total, and amassed 23 followers. I only discovered that Moz had returned to twitter because Astraea (@FadingGoldLeaf) retweeted the first few @stillmozsworld tweets, which gives the account far more authenticity than an official Twitter tick!:

"I see my album has limped down the charts. Dread Sheeran still tops it. Just who is buying THAT?"

(World Peace fell to Number 12 on Sunday's chart)

"I appear to have as many people following me as bought my latest album. Forever rejected."

In response to @Sean_Classic tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Start working with decent composers then  & not a composer as bad as Dread Sheeran called Jesse Tobias!!!": "And what would YOU know?"

In response to @Sean_Classic tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I know that Jesse Tobias is the worst composer & guitarist that's ever been": "You've clearly never heard Electronic."

In response to @tabootlb tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I bought the deluxe album": "The delux is all you need. My 'favourite' track is on the deluxe."

"@edsheeran You are an odious oaf"

In response to @MozzeriansATW asking, "@stillMozsworld Why a new account?": "The old one had dragged me down. Plus I realised Boy George was tweeting me. This is a stain on my name."

"I run the risk of being a forgotten human. Do you even remember who I am?"

In response to @caterita2008 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Surely not a post man": "The only thing I deliver is grief."

"Twitter recommends I follow the MET police? Do they know nothing about me? Plus my guess is the MET are already following me."

"I have missed your faces. Something tells me I will see them again soon."

In response to me asking, "@stillMozsworld How soon? Will November spawn a World Peace tour?": "January. My dear Rat. A single first. If Harvest can summon the intelligence."

In response to me asking, "@stillMozsworld A NEW song? A PROPER promoted single?": "Promoted all over Universities."

In response to me saying, "@stillMozsworld Especially the German colleges": "I will need to brush up on my Nietzsche. Tonight I am nothing like Ubermensch."

"Does the Blue Rose Society exists anymore? Or has it been cast aside like my new LP."

"I make people wish they were dead just by existing"

"I am totally exhausted from life. I bid you farewell."

"I am not a man. I won't play the role assigned to me."

"Men are great repressors. Of women and animals."

At this point, worn down by a continued attack by @Sean_Classic, Morrissey took his leave and closed the account, tweeting the following:

"@Sean_Classic Good Riddance to False Friends"

"I am sorry. My re-appearance appears to have brought out the worst in people."

The hatred continued this morning on twitter, with @RFerdenzi, @Sean_Classic, @SusieSue132 and @Jake_cfc all laying into me, accusing me of being a liar and a fantasist. Ferdenzi tweeted, "@Sean_Classic Don't worry, this is NOT Morrissey! We all know who it really is." Ferdenzi also informed @SusieSue132, "We all know who's behind all of these fake Morrissey accounts!"

Because I have followed and documented the whole phenomenal MorrisseysWorld journey, people have become confused, and in their confusion they have decided that I must be the person behind MorrisseysWorld. If I had never started writing FollowingTheMozziah, I believe that MW would have taken a completely different course, and by now it may well have been HUGE. I am hampering MorrisseysWorld, so it is time for me to step away. I shall continue to write my observations on this blog, but I will no longer make my observations public. I am NOT a part of the story, I am just recording events. Perhaps when a January tour is announced, the likes of Willow, Denzi and Classic Sean will realise they were wrong, but I expect they will just add it to that ever growing list of coincidences.

Goodbye to the public, hello to my own private world.

TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 30 (NOT BROADCAST IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS AS ONCE AGAIN NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ARRIVED AT THE USUAL TIME)

1. I'M NOT A MAN - MORRISSEY (UP 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2oAyMhFheo

2. SMILER WITH KNIFE - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGbv8JR8x0s&feature=youtu.be

3. NEAL CASSADY DROPS DEAD - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1ToWK5n8Zk

4. ART-HOUNDS - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-DWzgZIUcw

5. OBOE CONCERTO - MORRISSEY (DOWN 4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Ej_71ydZs

6. KISS ME A LOT - MORRISSEY (DOWN 4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6zaCKz1r2U

7. STAIRCASE AT THE UNIVERSITY - MORRISSEY (DOWN 4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_Sa74o6j3Q

8. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES (LIVE IN SANTA ANA 2014)- MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tGRYTGGtUI

9. BALLADE DE MELODY NELSON - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIDuE4U_fZg

10. ONE OF OUR OWN (WITH VIDEO FROM THE BLOOD OF A POET) - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE ): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLNl6Qn-LWc

11. KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE (LIVE IN BOSTON) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfYLV_mTbls

12. FORGIVE SOMEONE - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka7Ocldto2U

12. MOUNTJOY - MORRISSEY (DOWN 5): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H7mXyRYng

13. EARTH IS THE LONELIEST PLANET (LIVE IN ALBUQUERQUE 2014) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imbEN8hqfdQ

14. RUBBER RING (LIVE 2004) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMksTu-cXzs

15. TAKE MY HAND FOR A WHILE - FRANÇOISE HARDY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IPn05MYURQ

16. DRAG THE RIVER - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm97uQSpRDI&feature=youtu.be

17. PAINT A VULGAR PICTURE (LIVE IN SWEDEN 1997) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzCaT7smDBI

18. SCANDINAVIA - MORRISSEY (DOWN 12): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuyYV_BawxM&feature=youtu.be

19.  WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 10): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBCg28Pxc0Q&feature=youtu.be

20. YES, I AM BLIND (LIVE IN SANTA ANA 2014) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sTDWGqBdfo

21. JULIE IN THE WEEDS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 10): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IztcOrlIU8g

22. ISTANBUL - MORRISSEY (DOWN 8):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWn5iqSdJUs&feature=youtu.be

23. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE IN MIAMI 2014) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfB9snjudt4

24. COME BACK TO CAMDEN (LIVE IN LONDON 2011) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2Ne547qyVU&feature=youtu.be

25. I KNOW IT'S OVER (LIVE IN LONDON 2011) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwWHJeLT3q0&feature=youtu.be

26. FRIDAY MOURNING - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0CUeID84BE

27. PEARL OF A GIRL (LIVE ON THE LATE LATE SHOW) - KRISTEEN YOUNG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7OyzUVxsQo

28. AND LIGHT SHINES - DAVID LYNCH (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aJObyhNCoM&feature=youtu.be

29. I'M WAITING HERE - DAVID LYNCH & LYKKE LI (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SpG7C4vHZQ&feature=youtu.be

30. ANGEL STAR - CHRYSTA BELL & DAVID LYNCH (NEW ENTRY):: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgY637KOBQ4&feature=youtu.be


Astraea posted this excellent comment to my last blog entry. Her observation on Richard and Judy Madeley is spot on:

Richard's auxiliary problem is that he is another one of exactly what this world doesn't need any more of – an insipid man. His primary problem, is of course, that grating old battle-axe Judy. A grating battle-axe wearing a 40DDD cup, a smile, and with Chardonnay for blood is still... an incredibly grating old battle-axe, in a typically predictable disguise.

This couple must have prompted the need for the invention of the phrase 'ball and chain'. And to think that people aspire to be like them, and to have their relationship. No wonder this world is on a fast track to hell.

Listen to them speak and and flubber for five minutes, and watch and listen as your own brain cells instantly fizzle away, never to be found or revived again. Thank you, but no.

Best to take MW as tonic instead. Along with some aromatic bitters, the body will be strengthened, the psyche awoken, and the humour fortified.

It's a wild, WILD world out there.

As for the one-liners being as funny as the main dialogue –

'As this fatal thought emerges, he feels a sense of anguish deep within his Barrett's oesophagus'

L O L

Like I said before – it’s a wild, wild world.

You have to grab your coat, thrust your hands deep into your pockets, face the blustery oncoming wind, and simply heave forth.
Posted by Astraea to Following The Mozziah at 26 July 2014 20:43

I fully intended for today to be the first day of me blogging without an audience, but a comment left on my blog yesterday by Kerry Richards (@AmIMoving2Fast) has left me heartened, so despite @RFerdenzi celebrating my demise with a photo of a mouse holding a placard reading "FTM RIP 2011-2014", FTM remains. Sorry Roberto, but you just haven't earned it yet , baby.... and neither are you EVER likely too!


ROBERTO FER-DENSE'S PREMATURE PLACARD. HE CONTINUES TO GET EVERYTHING WRONG

Here is Kerry's heartening comment from yesterday:

As you suggest to many newcomers that they should read from the beginning, so they can make their own mind up; I have been.
Currently up to day 481.
Firstly, I think that there are just far too many coincidences, to just be coincidence.
The list is quite extensive up to day 481.
The theory could be that Morrissey is simply "playing along", but from the evidence you have documented to include announcements that were first posted on twitter or MW blog; that have THEN been announced officially on TTY, can only mean that Morrissey or his "people" are behind MW blog and the MW twitter account (which was still active and tweeting on day 481).

Secondly, as it's obvious that Morrissey is aware of MW blog (if he isn't actually behind it), proven by the TTY statements denying that he is MW blog, would he allow someone else, who is nothing to do with him carry on with all this?
I mean some of the opinions expressed, pictures posted etc are very to the bone, if they weren't his opinions/humour would he allow it to run? It has upset "fans" in the past, surely if it was someone pretending to be him he would make it close down immediately?
Look how much he despises So-Low, look how he will take on the NME etc.

Thirdly, I think accounts have been set up on twitter to throw people off the scent and stop this getting huge.
Morrissey seems to want to interact with fans/BRS members that are willing to think "outside the box", think for themselves and not just to believe everything they are told.
The TTY statements reflect this, most people would read these and instantly believed what they've read without bothering to question (I'm embarrassed to admit I did with the first two, but the third statement made me curious and got me thinking)!
There seems to be a pattern of OM interacting regularly with 20 or so BRS members and as the regular BRS members that interact with him grow to say 35 plus, a new twitter account arrives throwing doubt on the whole phenomenon and hey presto about 10/15 BRS members stop believing/interacting.
I personally think this happens as Morrissey would only want BRS members that are interacting with him to be people that are willing to follow their own minds and work out for themselves the truth. I guess as the following gets bigger some people must slip through the net that aren't particularly what he is looking for. He knows those people will be easy to manipulate and hey presto they go and he is left with a nice small audience and fan base to interact with, again?

Please forgive my grammar/punctuation etc etc, it's 23.49!
Posted by Kerry Richards to Following The Mozziah at 29 July 2014 23:52


At last, at last, at last. Rather than take the easy option of just dismissing MorrisseysWorld because, "Morrissey would NEVER do that", Kerry has actually bothered to read the evidence and make an intellectual and balanced decision. The likes of Fer-Dense, @Sean_Classic and Uncle Skinny haven't done this, they just keep saying, "NO, NO, NO" in the hope that it will all just go away. I suspect that all three of the aforementioned people actually DO believe deep down that Morrissey IS behind MW, but because they have been so, so vocal in their insistence that it isn't Moz, they now feel they would lose face if they U-turned. Sean has bought himself an insurance policy by tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I know that if the bore that composes these tweets really is Morrissey, then the person I've admired for all my life is the biggest let down ever!" Poor Sean; but if he'd opened his eyes rather than shoot off his mouth, then he and Roberto and many more could have been part of this whole wonderful journey. Those who think they KNOW Morrissey, know nothing.... that should be on a t-shirt!

I have closed my twitter account for now, mainly to stop me from hogging The Mozziah, so that other people like Kerry can interact with him, but also because I am fed up with getting drawn into arguments with fools who are too lazy to find the truth out for themselves. Their logic is, "it CAN'T be Morrissey, so therefore, it HAS to be Rat!"

Our Mozzer turned up in the Twitterdilly Arms again yesterday evening, so with my account closed, I watched quietly from the snug, sat with Cousin Fluff (@Upthepier). Here are OM's highlights:

"@TheRatsBack Do not be forced away from me due to 'others' Rat. Stay." (Actually posted on July 28th)

"Well here we are."

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuhlOlLHs58"



In response to OM posting the clip of Alma Cogan's 'Just Couldn't Resist Her With Her Pocket Transistor', @FadingGoldLeaf (Astraea) tweeted, "Oh God... 'He goes wild when she flips that dial'. And she whispers it each time. I think I'm in love", to which OM then replied, "Alma Matters." Astraea then added, "That was darling. She was darling. I need a pocket transistor", to which OM tweeted, "Alas, I know of nowhere that sells them. Music is dying." Astraea added, "Life is full of small disappointments. But songs like that one and girls who know how to whisper make up for some of them", to which OM replied, "Her whisper slaps me around the face harder than any guitar solo."


ALMA COGAN - "EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW HOW TO WHISPER" - @FADINGGOLDLEAF 29/7/14

"My faith in you all is still devout."

"It's like 1987 all over again"

"I am sure to be remembered less favourably than Alf Garnett"


ALF GARNETT AND HIS "SILLY OLD MOO" OF A WIFE.

"Is nobody here? I am alone. Alone. Forevermore"

In response to @Jazissey tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I'm here, not much I know": "This could prove enough. Sweetness of words means so much."

"I see the non believers have their heads stuck in the sand. The stretch of the beach that the truth just doesn't reach." In response to this tweet, @AmIMoving2Fast tweeted, "@stillMozsworld No meaning, no reason The lonely season?", to which OM then rather interestingly tweeted, "There is not just one lonely season. A fatal lyrical regret."

KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE - "A FATAL LYRICAL REGRET" - OUR MOZZER

In response to @Jazissey asking, "stillMozsworld So what was your favourite song of the album?": "Remains a secret. Although I do believe Art-Hounds is the best thing I've ever recorded. That is how time will see it."

"In 2 years Ed Sheeran will be a blip in musical history. Yet today he has sold nearly 400,000 copies of his album. Hash tag Publicdistaste"

"Dread Sheeran's grimace will haunt my dreams for life." In response to this, @AmIMoving2Fast tweeted, "And his double chin", to which OM replied, as quick as a flash, "get that man with double chin Who'll always cheat and always win, Who washes his repulsive skin In women's tears" (This is an extract from John Betjeman's Slough).

JB.... NOT JUSTIN BIEBER

In response to the very silly tweet from @LizzyCatMoz saying, "@TheRatsBack now appearing as @stillMozsworld": "Nobody 'appears' as me. I just am." Poor Lizzy. Despite having seen most of the evidence, and having followed the MW story, Lizzy still ends up pointing the finger at me, probably because she made the wrong calls. It is far easier to blame another.

In response to @LizzyCatMoz asking, "You are Morrissey are you?": "I've been telling the truth my entire life. Except when I lie. I always stay true to you."

"And if nobody believes me here perhaps I will have to become a parody again."

"If you could hear one song live what would it be?" There were many responses to this question, but this one from @Jazissey is the most interesting one, as it brings a further revelation, "@stillMozsworld One of our Own. I'd really love to hear that": "Ah, the follow up to First Of The Gang To Die".

ONE OF OUR OWN - THE FOLLOW UP TO FOTGTD

"Arseholes to our souls"

In response to Astraea's tweet about a Wham reunion: "George Michael will crash three more cars before this happens. He always crashes his car but never breaks his spine. I once picked up a letter and my back destroyed itself."

'There is nothing noble in murdering friends. I should know."

"The deepest pits of hell is where I will end up. It is my fate."

At this point OM disappeared, but then returned very quickly, saying "I find the draw is too much. Is this what life has become?" He then left again, and the twitter account is currently closed.

And finally for today, Astraea has requested that I remove her poem from yesterday's blog, and has tried to buy me off by tweeting pictures of Brigitte Bardot. It might just work.



I am now off to play cricket, so I shall leave Kerry to get on with her reading of FTM. Day 482 is a particularly good one, because it is the day that a blue rose got me into the sold out David Letterman Show. Another coincidence, of course! Welcome to the Dreary Deluded Dozen, Kerry.

It's been a busy few days in both Morrissey's world and MorrisseysWorld. In Morrissey's world, a former security guard called Bradley Steyn, would appear to be trying to sue Morrissey for unfair dismissal on the grounds that he (Steyn) refused to kill David Tseng, the owner of So-Low for Morrissey! You couldn't make this up!


STEYN - REFUSAL

As the news broke of this lawsuit, So-Low's very own Uncle Skinny took to twitter to say, "So Morrissey wants a heavy to do @robot99 in? That is...insane. Totally insane. I smell legal action."




Uncle Skinny's sense of smell was spot on, as Morrissey then issued a statement on TTY to say that the story was a "vexatious lie", and that "Bradley Steyn's statement is now in the hands of the Los Angeles Police Department, and is subject to both criminal and civil action."

So-Low owner David Tseng could have perhaps built some bridges with Morrissey over this ridiculous allegation of Steyn's, but instead of agreeing with Uncle Skinny's statement that the story was "insane", Tseng today took to his own website to write:
"Unless you were there and saw and heard everything that happened you are speculating and you can't be sure you are more right than someone else giving their opinion on who's being truthful. Since this certainly does involve life or death, would you risk a situation if there was even a 1% chance it could be true? Also regarding credibility, at this point I would take a complete stranger's words over Morrissey's judging by what he wrote about me and the site in his latest statement and his overall reliability."

And Tseng wonders why he has a life time ban! And on that subject, Tseng yesterday gave an interview to avclub.com regarding Steyngate, and in the interview Tseng stated that he only learnt that he was banned for life from Morrissey concerts when Morrissey's tour manager told him at the concert in Santa Ana earlier this year. Tseng's life ban was actually issued in 2011, in a MorrisseysWorld blog piece entitled 'Minutes of the Bans and Concert Ejections Committee'. Tseng must surely have read that? In the MW piece, Our Mozzer not only issued Tseng with a life time ban from all concerts, but did so with the infamous line, "Just ban the cunt", which was recently chosen by Broken as his favourite MW line of all time. I am laughing out loud as I type this. It was indeed a great, great line.

And on the subject of the Santa Ana concert, could any sane person really believe it is was just a 'coincidence' that Morrissey wore a BLUE ROSE at that concert? The same concert that he had just had "That Man" barred from? I don't think so.

TSENG - QUARRY.... AND CUNT!

In far more important matters, let me turn my attention to MorrisseysWorld, or as it now seems to be called, MorrisseysWorldStIll. Unbelievably, this new MW blog has been up and running since Monday, but NONE of the BRS bothered to tell me! I stumbled upon the new blog yesterday, ironically thanks to a link placed on SoLow by a Solower called 'Fan'. Here are the entries from the new MW:

Monday, 28 July 2014
The Forgotten Man remains.

Today I feel as though I am trapped in Mountjoy.  The sun brings many things and unfortunately one of those things is 'sunbathers'. Shock number one is that I am amongst them. Not burning of course and with something between my ears but here none-the-less. Unfathomably still here. Unfashionably still alive. Switzerland relaxes the self and postpones reality for a flinching second. Talking of postponements! The U.S tour cancellations have flattened my spirit more than you could ever know. However, the mental strain of the previous years and due to ‘complications’ with harvest I was left mentally drained and struggled to complete any of the gigs. To those who I have wronged, I apologise and I will make it up to you soon.

Yes One’s mental state has somewhat deteriorated over these last years. I could not even summon the strength to promote my new album. World Peace as a result is limping in the charts worldwide and has broken my spirits even more.  I am the forgotten man of music. Thrown on the heap with Rick Astley.  My album was of course less well received than the comeback album of the one with insecure teeth. Oh well, I’ll never learn.

I have spent today lazing, not grazing, on the beach. It is weird how often life imitates art. I have to go now as Boz is bringing me over a drink. Wine for me and a jug of water for himself. He appears to be wearing a dress and holding a lead that has a goat on it. Some things never change.

Do not forget me. Please
Posted by St. ill Morrisseys World at 14:25

Tuesday, 29 July 2014
How can they look into my eyes...

My return tasted like glorious defeat. The naysayer are out in force which is par for the course. In my absence it seems people have largely forgotten about me but that is too be expected. I mean just how can one exist in this music business if one’s face is not plastered everywhere?. I saw a poster of Ed Sheeran hanging from Buckingham palace. Oh how I wish something else was hanging from Buckingham Palace. Anyway we move on. Why? Because we must.
Posted by St. ill Morrisseys World at 11:28


LOG LADY - POSTED ON MORRISSEYSWORLDSTILL.BLOGSPOT.COM ON TUESDAY

Thursday, 31 July 2014
.
An update.
Bodyguard issues aside, see you soon.

Take me back to dear old Blighty
Posted by St. ill Morrisseys World at 15:29


There are a number of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in the postings, which make me wonder if this blog really is the work of Our Mozzer, but I suppose he isn't really feeling great about life at the moment, so perhaps he's just not his usual articulate self..... I wonder if he's unshaven?

Our Mozzer (or St.Ill Morrissey as he is currently calling himself) returned to The Twitterdilly Arms again yesterday evening, and his presence in The Arms attracted in a mixture of people, including excited BRS members, mixed-up Ex-BRS members, and those who just want to keep on accusing Moz of being me. Here are his highlights:

"If one can quote oneself.. "I think I've been accused of everything except murder - which is bound to come at some stage, I don't doubt."


FROM AN NME INTERVIEW IN 2004 - RINGLEADER

"I am incapable of initiating a laugh and I cannot stop crying."

"I am tedious. I've been trying to tell you all for years. Although not as tedious as being Richard Madeley." (Please note, the word "tell" was missing from the actual tweet, so I added it. The 'old' Our Mozzer didn't make these sort of mistakes! This Our Mozzer is like a punch-drunk Parody Moz just going through the motions. He is a parody of his former parody self.... Actually, I'm not too sure if I should be joking about this; Morrissey really might be laying on the floor of a darkened room with just a laptop and a bottle of gin for company. I'm starting to feel a little awkward as I type. I genuinely hope he's ok, and if he's not, then.... then.... then what? I don't know! I expect Morrissey has been in this situation a thousand times before, but each stab in the back must hurt that little bit more. I shall exit these brackets and carry on reporting yesterday's visit to The Arms.)

In response to me stating that I don't know how Moz puts up with all the shit he gets: "I've been stabbed in the back so man.. you know the rest."



Highlights Continued:

"I am a pale replacement for Wilde. But if this is what you have chosen.."

"I should have given this all up years ago and opened up a florist. I'd look good amongst the shrubbery."

In response to @southkirk 's tedious insistence that Our Mozzer is me: "All people are going to remember from this is a rat. Why do I even bother?"

In response to me asking, "@stillMozsworld How do you think it feels being the rat?": "Nobody is welcoming to rats. I should know as I am you. Hello Morrissey."

In response to @southkirk 's further tedious insistence that Morrissey is me: "I don't know how Rat has any time to do anything. He is himself, me, you, Jesus and also Boz."

In response to @southkirk 's further further tedious insistence that I am pretending to be Moz, and asking if the whole thing is an experiment: "The only hoax here is life."

In response to @southkirk 's further further further insistence that Morrissey is me: "@southkirk For the last time, my epitaph - I am NOT Rat. This is getting irksome."


MORRISSEY - NOT RAT

My advice to @southkirk is this; if after three years you STILL believe that I am pretending to be Morrissey, even though you have actually met me, and stood next to me in a hotel in Manchester as Our Mozzer tweeted, then this really, really isn't the place for you. May I suggest http://www.edsheeranfans.com.

Highlight's Continued:

In response to @AmIMoving2Fast asking what one song would M want to hear live: "Let Me Kiss you by Nancy Sinatra. Who else? Of course this changes by the day, if not the hour."

"Health & safety will be the death of us all. Or perhaps it will be attention seeking "bodyguards"

"The novel has gained a new character. Mr. Albrecht.." (Maybe Moz isn't lying in a darkened room after all! Perhaps he is spending time writing a bit more of 'Make Me A Monster, But Don't Kill Me For Being Monstrous'.

In response to Heather and EARS both mentioning that they hoped to be able to read it: "Perhaps one day. Edit. Edit. Edit. then Diet. Diet. Diet." followed by, "Hopefully another Penguin Classic. If they have the guts."

In response to Robert Neville (@geniussteals) asking if he could be a character in the book: "I do believe 'Robert Neville' is already a character in a book. Heaven knows I don't want or need another lawsuit." (I think @geniussteals is another new member of the DDD. I don't know where we picked him up, but hopefully he will leave comment to tell us.)





In response to me asking, "Am I safe writing FTM, or might Moz send Boz to silence me?: "@TheRatsBack Boz is otherwise engaged. He's taking out somebody else at this moment. Then I believe he is working with Example. I may not let him back."

In response to me asking if the statement about Boz working with Example was real: "I refuse to believe Example is real."



EXAMPLE - WORKING WITH BOZ BOORER, OR A WIND-UP BY OUR MOZZER?

"Don't dig for a secondary meaning because at worse you might just find a first."

"I've got a split personality. I hate both of them."

In response to @LizzyCatmoz asking, "@stillMozsworld Please would you give a clue to the next single?": "There are a few contenders. Although after the past day I see no worth in anything."

"My lips are sealed. March, April, May."

"Over and stout."

As Moz disappeared through the swinging doors of The Twitterdilly Arms, the @stillMozsworld account disappeared too. At the last count, it had 46 followers.

And finally Esther, and finally Cyril.... I was contacted out of the blue yesterday by ex BRS member, Willow (@smashingblouse7). It would appear that Willow is still receiving emails from Morrissey. I of course took the decision to severe ties with Morrissey, and instead chose to maintain a relationship with Parody Moz..... "And they say he's mental!"

Buena noches.

Yesterday, as I spread my arms along the back of an ageing wooden bench, whilst sat in glorious sunshine watching cricket in a rural Somerset retreat, I felt truly alive. With no internet access in the remote setting of North Perrott, the only other things to occupy my mind other than the cricket, were the church bells that peeled every half hour, and the adjacent field of Jersey cows lazily chewing their grass. Bliss.

Today I find myself back at work, and also back into the gloomy depths of cyber space. How and why have so many of us allowed ourselves to spend SO much time online, NOT living? I wonder if one day things will go full circle, and we will abandon our laptops, mobile phones and other devices, and realise that life is far too short not to grasp every last second of it? Somehow I doubt it. The problem is, most of the human race wouldn't know how to go about living life to the full, so everybody makes do with actually living in little bite size chunks, whilst the vast majority of our time is wasted on the mundane, and our lives are spent purely existing.

NORTH PERROTT CRICKET GROUND IN SOMERSET

So, as I once again return to cyberspace, the only thing that is of any interest, is MorrisseysWorld. Whilst I was away at the weekend, I missed two or three of Our Mozzer's visits to The Twitterdilly Arms, and as the @stillMozsworld account has once again been closed, it has been difficult to piece together the conversations. It doesn't help that my own twitter account, @TheRatsBack, is also now closed. I closed it last Friday, having been finally worn down by all the haters. I only joined twitter in the first place because I was so excited at having discovered that my hero, Morrissey, was on there, but what started out as great excitement has led to my persecution, with people not only calling me a liar on a daily basis, but I have also had my identity published against my will, I have had my occupation and place of residence revealed against my will, I have been called a racist, I have been reported to the Police, I have had somebody contact their solicitor about me, and I have even received a death threat.... all because I write a blog about Morrissey! You can only laugh things off for so long.

Here are some of OM's highlights from the weekend:

"Is Manchester still there? Or has it been turned into a multi-storey car park? Do Iron Bridges still exist?"

"Most of us are alive but are any of us living? Me? I died in 1997."

"Wod Pace Is Non f Your iness Blue Rose."

Regarding Wham!: "The Smiths would never have worked with an exclamation point. Just like Therapy?"

"The name of the florist will be Florrissey." (Note - I wrote on Friday's blog entry how OM had said he should open a florists.)

"It will be a side business. I will sell my albums there as well. God knows people couldn't find where to buy it this time."

In response to @tabootlb asking, "@stillMozsWorld will you be selling Blue ROSES?": "Out back. Not on display."

In response to @AmIMoving2Fast asking, "@stillMozsWorld Will you offer discounts for those who bought WPINOYB?": "Yes of course. I will offer price increases for those who bought Messenger."

In response to @AmIMoving2Fast asking, "@stillMozsWorld Are you eagerly looking forward to Playland?": "I just can't wait for the singing. Truly remarkable."

In response to @AmIMoving2Fast asking, "Did you write the lyrics for him?": "I've never been more insulted."

And whilst on the subject of Johnny Marr, he played a concert on Saturday at The Wedgewood Rooms, and although I had purchased tickets, I didn't go, instead giving the tickets to my 16 year old nephew, who had "the best night ever" as he watched JM perform Panic, Big Mouth, Please Please Please, There is a Light and How Soon Is Now. Oh to be 16 again. Oh to have that "best night ever" feeling. Oh to one day see Morrissey play a concert in England again......

..... and on the subject of Morrissey concerts, the following has been posted on TTY:



THE O2 IN DUBLIN - MORRISSEY CONCERT "FINALISED"


It is great news that Morrissey is feeling well enough to 'get back out there', and also great news that he has given an interview. This Thursday is NOT looking quite so "pathetic".

Highlights Continued:

"@Vinyl_Boutique Are you stocking World Peace?" (I have also asked this question, but received no reply. I would really like to buy my vinyl copy of WPINOYB from Boz's record shop. Surely he must get a stock of them in soon? Surely?)

"@antanddec Which one of you is scrubbing Simon's floor today?"

"Boz has not yet made my morning Gin and Tonic. Can't get the staff these days."

"The Commonwealth games? The Queen has all the wealth and we are all just common."

"It has been my goal for a while to be on the same level as the Kardashians. i have not sunk low enough yet."

"My grammar and spelling has been off recently. Please blame personal circumstances."

"Boz has finally made my G&T. Now he is asleep at my side. It has worn him out, poor love."

Unfortunately, that's all I've managed to retrieve. There was far more said, including OM apparently reporting that he doesn't wear knickers!

In other news, another of my persecutors, journalist Rob Pollard, has written a rather good article about Morrissey's solo career being better than his Smiths career. Pollard has also taken to twitter to say, "Morrissey read my piece and said it was "absolutely beautiful"." Pollard must be overjoyed at receiving such praise. It's a shame he wasn't quite so complimentary himself about Morrissey's work on MorrisseysWorld.

God, I HATE Mondays!

Today, I continue to write my diary, in which I am recording the story of MorrisseysWorld. The journey has been nothing short of phenomenal, with people's passions running high as they ask the question, "could it really be Morrissey behind all this?". The number of people who believe Morrissey to be behind MW is minuscule, with just 50 people following the current MorrisseysWorld twitter account, and only 13* leaving comment on the MW blog. The vast majority of Morrissey fans continue to belittle or ignore both MorrisseysWorld and the Blue Rose Society that was formed from it. Most of those fans dismissing the possibility of Morrissey being involved, continue to use the argument, "Morrissey just wouldn't do it", or more commonly, "I KNOW Morrissey just wouldn't do it."

In September 2011, I accidentally started recording the story of MorrisseysWorld, documenting my findings on this very blog, and I shall continue to record the story until it reaches some sort of conclusion. Never for one minute did I think MorrisseysWorld would go on this long, and I presumed that Morrissey's fans would have all been able to see that the hero they KNOW so well was behind MW, but I was wrong. I also presumed that the media would have picked up on the story, but that just hasn't happened either. Kitty Empire did mention MW in a Guardian article back in 2011, but Kitty only touched on the subject, and she didn't follow the story through. As time goes on, it seems less and less likely that the MW story will be exposed at all, so it looks as though I may be here for a very long time.

As I continue to document the MW story, I don't just write about those who believe Morrissey to be behind MorrisseysWorld, I also continue to write about those who express a public opinion that they don't believe MW to be Morrissey. We live in a democratic society, where everybody is allowed to express their view, but as I keep telling my kids, if you post something on a public website, you can't retract it, so if ANYBODY posts anything PUBLICLY, I or anybody else has a right to write about it. As I am telling the story of Morrissey, if ANYBODY writes ANYTHING about Morrissey on a public website, there is a possibility I will mention it on my blog, especially if it relates to MorrisseysWorld. If somebody takes to twitter and writes accusingly, "Rat loves talking to himself whilst pretending to be Morrissey", there is also a very good chance that I will write about that on my blog too. Everybody has the right to climb onto their roof and shout as loudly as they want, but if you slip and break your legs, then don't come running to me.

Those who haven't followed the MW story from the beginning are very unlikely to believe that Morrissey is MW, but as I wrote last Wednesday, if people can be bothered to read FollowingTheMozziah from the beginning, just like Kerry Richards (@AmIMoving2Fast) recently did, then all the evidence is here. Morrissey has to be behind MorrisseysWorld, there is simply no other sane explanation, but if you don't believe it, the roof top is yours. I just wish people would come up with a better argument than, "Morrissey would NEVER."



I was again at a cricket match last night, so yet again I missed Our Mozzer's visit to The Twitterdilly Arms; but fortunately he has kindly left his twitter account open, so that I am able to see what has been said. Here are yesterday's highlights plus some other bits that I have missed in recent days:

JULY 31:

"If only time travel were possible."

" I'd go back to the date Piers Morgan was conceived and highlight the importance of contraception."

"Over and stout."

"Over and clout."

AUG 2:

"I could not find a way of retweeting myself. But... "St.Ill Morrissey @stillMozsworld  Jul 28 I have missed your faces" and "St.Ill Morrissey @stillMozsworld Jul 28 Something tells me I will see them again soon."

The above tweets are a reference to two tweets posted by Our Mozzer on July 28th, PRIOR to the TTY announcement on August 2nd that Morrissey will be returning to the stage. I reported those two tweets on Day 1049 of FTM. The tweets are of course just another coincidence.

In response to @UpThePier tweeting, "First of all, @TheRatsBack was ridiculed & then persecuted for writing a blog about Morrissey; now he is being reported to the Police!": "This is most unfortunate.. And not needed."

AUG 3:

In response to @AmIMoving2Fast tweeting, "So Mr have a go on social media can give it and not take it... Usual story... I say FUCK OFF": "Not sure that I deserve to be a police matter. Send regards to Mr Rat."

"This has turned into something it never should have. Harm caused. Goodbye."

In response to @GirlOnBike1102 saying, "@stillmozsworld When people start taking things too seriously, they get their knickers in a twist - unfortunately!": "Some of us do not even wear knickers. Although I an still in a twist."

In response to @girlwithout tweeting, "ooh, pants!": "Is this a review of my latest album?"

In response to @LizzyCatMoz tweeting, "I never imagined you as 'going commando'": "Knickers just are not my thing. They do not flatter my thighs."

In response to @lizzyCatMoz tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I have always admired your sense of humour": "There has never been any sense to my humour."

In response to @GirlOnBike1102 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Please tell me there will be at least one UK concert?!": "See you soon & Stay tuned to TTY."

"I have just discovered there is something called a mozarmyquiz... I would still manage to finish 3rd."

"Ideals will make you feel bitter."

"Currently reading: The Treacherous Man by every person I've ever worked with."

In response to @GirlOnBike1102 asking, "@stillMozsworld Do you ever listen to your own music? Can you enjoy it or does it feel weird?": "I listen. I listen. it feels weird but no weirder than listening to the current Top 40."

In response to @southkirk tweeting, "@stillMozsworld hardly a comparison": "This is where I long to be. Somewhere between Sam Smith and Pharrell Williams"

In response to @southkirk's response to the above with, "who?": "I don't believe the Who have charted for a while. Even more irrelevant than me."

THE WHO - REACHED NUMBER 28 IN THE UK ALBUM CHART IN JUNE 2014, BUT DID ANYBODY NOTICE? I DIDN'T!

In response to @southkirk mentioning that the above comment made him grin: "I smiled once. It made me sick."

"The grinner is a sinner."

In response to @LizzyCatMoz mentioning Tony Blair: "Do not mention that joker here. Joker or war criminal. Remember, he is bringing peace to the middle east."

In response to @LizzyCatMoz responding, "Or helping leave it in pieces": "Children in pieces, unfortunately."

"I'm thinking of playing Sheila Take a Bow on this tour. Leading into Staircase at the university."


SHEILA TAKE A BOW - SUNG IN PERU IN 2012. RETURNING TO THE SET SOON? FEATURED IN TODAY'S CHART AT NUMBER 8.

In response to @southkirk saying, "@stillMozsworld I think people here may like me. Not sure. Deep down they're all algorithms unless I've met them": "Some remain algorithms long after you have met them."

In response to @southkirk replying to the above with, "@stillmozsworld algorithms that will stay in my head though": "Are these people songs you can't stand?" (Ed- This is my FAVOURITE tweet of the day. Classic OM!)

In response to @southkirk discussing meeting people at Morrissey concerts: "Will people come? This is good news."

In response to @southkirk tweeting, "Just thought I'd massage your ego": "This is what Boz is for."

In response to @LizzyCatMoz tweeting, "Nobody believes it is really you. Even I didn't for a while.": "I still don't believe it's me."

"Time passes by like a dream."

In response to @LizzyCatMoz saying that she would leave a large drink at the stage door: "Throw it on stage. Just don't hit my head."


MORRISSEY BEING HIT ON THE HEAD BY A DRINK IN LIVERPOOL 2009

"The blue tick will never arrive. Life does not wait for a blue tick"

In response to @AIRRAID25 tweeting, "WPINOYB is still blowing my socks off": "Wearing socks is advised. Otherwise it would blow your feet off. You would not want that."

"Over and lout."

AUG 4:

"So today is Monday and yet it is also Sunday."

"Everyday is like Sunday."

In response to @mecaniqueorange asking, "@stillMozsworld Would you like some Orange to lighten your grey day?": "Orange is always welcome. Ask David Dickinson."

It would appear from the conversations that have taken place over recent days, that Our Mozzer has forgiven both GOB and LizzyCat for their previous behaviour towards Broken. It would also appear that both GOB and Lizzy still believe Morrissey to be behind MorrisseysWorld, and yet they have left NO comment on his blog, and they recently snubbed his offer to rejoin his Blue Rose Society. As both GOB and Lizzy have been major parts in this incredible journey, I would love to know their current view on MW. As OM has offered them an olive branch, it would be churlish of me not to do the same, so despite everything that has gone before, I welcome their comments.

That is all for today, but with the possibility of a UK concert or two being announced very soon, I have a present for Our Mozzer. With such a flamenco feel to so many of the new songs, I feel pretty confident that we will see Moz adopting that 'flamenco dancer pose' of his during a number of the songs, and I can especially picture him doing it during the bit in Kiss Me A Lot, where he sings, "and then when you've kissed me, kiss me all over again". Morrissey IS Antonio Gades, so here is a present, a video of Antonio Gades dancing. Perhaps Moz can practice some of his moves, although no doubt he'll say he doesn't need the practice!






THE FLAMENCO DANCER BACKDROP USED LAST YEAR

* The 13 people leaving comment on the MorrisseysWorldstill blog are: HeatherCat, JohnGill, TRB, Jjazmine, manclad, comrade harps, romina, Kerry Richards, southkirk, Gina Bacianelli, Emotional air raid survivor and fancy123. I guess these are the current 'Dreary Delueded Dozen'.

Who IS Gina Bacianelli? Does she come here?

Please note that all troll comments will be deleted from today's blog.

TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 34

1. STAIRCASE AT THE UNIVERSITY (NEW VIDEO) - MORRISSEY (UP 6 ): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEsFCscYRcU&feature=youtu.be

2. WHY DON'T YOU FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF (LIVE AT THE BEEB 2009) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_Snd54c04Y

3. OBOE CONCERTO (New Video) - MORRISSEY (UP 2 ): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VederSTf0jY&feature=youtu.be

4. JUST COULDN'T RESIST HER WITH HER POCKET TRANSISTOR - ALMA COGAN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuhlOlLHs58

5. KISS ME A LOT - MORRISSEY (UP 1): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6zaCKz1r2U

6. YOU JUST HAVEN'T EARNED IT YET BABY (LIVE IN BRIXTON 2011) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GPtJYUVx6U

7. SCANDINAVIA (LIVE IN CHILE 2012) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz1B8B7LrXU&feature=youtu.be

8. SHEILA TAKE A BOW (LIVE IN PERU 2012) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtVTsKnHfuE

9. LET ME KISS YOU (LIVE AT HOLLYWOOD HIGH 2013) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdDPqrTXoW4&feature=youtu.be

10. AT LAST I AM BORN (LIVE AT PINKPOP 2006) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT4O3S3plzQ&feature=youtu.be

11. STOP ME IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE (LIVE IN NORWAY 2006) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-pmH1FLcgk&feature=youtu.be

12. I'M NOT A MAN - MORRISSEY (DOWN 11): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2oAyMhFheo

13. SMILER WITH KNIFE - MORRISSEY (DOWN 11): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGbv8JR8x0s&feature=youtu.be

14. NEAL CASSADY DROPS DEAD - MORRISSEY (DOWN 11): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1ToWK5n8Zk

15. ART-HOUNDS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 11): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-DWzgZIUcw

16. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES (LIVE IN SANTA ANA 2014)- MORRISSEY (DOWN 11): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tGRYTGGtUI

17. ONE OF OUR OWN (WITH VIDEO FROM THE BLOOD OF A POET) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 7 ): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLNl6Qn-LWc

18. KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE (LIVE IN BOSTON) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 7): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfYLV_mTbls

19. FORGIVE SOMEONE - MORRISSEY (DOWN 7): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka7Ocldto2U

20. MOUNTJOY - MORRISSEY (DOWN 7): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H7mXyRYng

21. DRAG THE RIVER - MORRISSEY (DOWN 5): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm97uQSpRDI&feature=youtu.be

22.  WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBCg28Pxc0Q&feature=youtu.be

23. YES, I AM BLIND (LIVE IN SANTA ANA 2014) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sTDWGqBdfo

24. JULIE IN THE WEEDS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IztcOrlIU8g

25. ISTANBUL - MORRISSEY (DOWN 3):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWn5iqSdJUs&feature=youtu.be

26. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE IN MIAMI 2014) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfB9snjudt4

27. FRIDAY MOURNING - MORRISSEY (DOWN 1): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0CUeID84BE

28. TO GIVE (THE REASON I LIVE) (LIVE AT HOLLYWOOD HIGH 2013) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJNLvXwLoRE&feature=youtu.be

29. I WANT A LIP - APRIL STEVENS (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRY4JRYC0-M

30. TEACH ME TIGER - APRIL STEVENS (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qAKdm4IwkQ

31. THE BOY WITH THE THORN IN HIS SIDE (LIVE AT HOLLYWOOD HIGH 2013) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMu_Rx9x-IY&feature=youtu.be

32. THE KID'S A LOOKER (LIVE IN WARSAW 2011)  - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe4y1YPqZZo&feature=youtu.be

33. THE COCKNEY AMORIST - JOHN BETJEMAN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kA7RzfFtaGg

34. STAIRWAY OF LOVE - ALMA COGAN (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUXOxfKjkZM

There has been no sign of Broken for a few days, and Our Mozzer hasn't been seen for weeks, so unless one of them appears, this will be my last blog entry, as I really am only here for the MorrisseysWorld phenomenon.

I shall sign off with one of the best pieces to come from the MW blog, An Essay On The Beginnings of a New Man. It was published on Sunday, 21 August 2011, and was signed Morrissey. So the question is, who wrote it? Was it: A) Me, a full three weeks before I discovered MorrisseysWorld, B) Banjaxer, who despite claiming to be a journalist, struggles to put two sentences together, C) Morrissey or D) The Unknown author of MW; who has not only managed to remain unidentified for seven years, but has also managed to get Morrissey to do many, many things, as catalogued here: http://followingthemozziah.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/morrisseysworld-and-blue-rose-society.html. There is NO E).



Sunday, 21 August 2011
An Essay On The Beginnings of a New Man

The nineteen eighties were passing me by. Snarling androgyny, the dullish glamour of those sickly pale-thin creatures in scarlet lippy and girlish belts juxtaposed with crunching guitars - T Rex, The Dolls and Ziggy Stardust - had faded gracelessly into handfuls of black earth, rock 'n’roll retirement, and tie-wearing early 80s chic respectively. The cheaply-assembled but eagerly-deployed scud missile that was British punk seemed to detonate unexpectedly in mid-air, causing chaos, panic and the odd ill-advised trip to the barber’s, but surprisingly little lasting structural damage. As the ash clouds of punk spilled over and fell, gathering like anti-snowflakes on Manchester’s light-absorbing grey paving stones, bringing down as they fell over weeks and then months our studiedly vague aspirations for a slightly different world, the two-up two-downs remained indignant. They seemed to peer up over the brutal urban wasteland – all ersatz municipal parkland, stubborn decaying semis and that mild, nauseating smog that was the Manchester air - wondering what might come next. What would come next? Nothing at all.

Winter 1982. Manchester seemed glassier than ever, all pale angries, and pale sads, and pale cruelties. The death of punk had informed me of the true power of music – which is that it means absolutely nothing. Aestheticism as pure as any Wildean short story, utterly devoid of a moral; music is about beauty and - Being a Pop Star-? Being a pop star is about being fascinating. If you cannot be fascinating, then be handsome. If you cannot be handsome, may I suggest The X Factor Auditions?

In 1982, intention was all that I had. Wintriness breeds wintriness, as a writer once wrote. When the soul lives in a glum rock box and the air is frostier than any half-remembered June day-excursion to Scarborough, the beauty of the freezing cold is all that one possesses. Sycamore tree leafless and crippled leans, like stag antlers bored into frozen top soil; green frog-eye Wellington boots scurry for grip on un-gritted roads; small bluish hand enshrined in fuliginous fingers, glinting under raw sodium lights; the Arndale centre like some oafish soul-cemetery, sucking in the human spirit like coke through a straw, and twisting it into a walking, breathing, cacophonous death. Snow fell that winter. And I made my plans.

The room was probably not as small as I remember. It had that lived-in smell which is inevitable when one never leaves: this I did my best to disguise with scattered rose petals – roses were an undeserved gift from one to oneself, or otherwise nicked from innumerable tiny-but-prim front gardens on the estate. Of course in winter the gardens were as barren as the singer who filled my ears and tugged at my tear ducts like lovelessness itself: Nico. In the absence of red rose petals or white rose petals, orange peel – always in good supply in our house – would adorn the radiator for days, even when, as was more often than not the case, they were switched off. Me? I stayed in and wrote furiously. The New York Dolls thing; the James Dean thing: they passed effortlessly by and yet without any real sense of destiny. Milky, embattled, frozen prose followed. It drifted imperceptibly from the pen, just like one of the many snowstorms that murky Thatcherite November-December, until it no longer resembled prose at all. The first songs were born entirely by accident. This I have always put down to fate.

As I wrote, I would gaze up at the Marc Bolan poster over my bed, pore over the horribly cream-coloured wood chip and wish it would simply disappear; I would crank up the volume on my plasticky record player; it cost £11.30 from a second hand shop in Moss Side called Andy’s (I still have the receipt). And as the stylus hopped over the worn groove, I would sink into Diana Dors, Johnny Rotten, Ziggy Stardust and The Sparks. The natural ageing process of those scratchy records implored me to listen in a way that no horse-throated geography teacher ever could.

The joy of music is that it allows one to dream, which in turn allows one to find that grain of hope. Hope is not a moral; it is a life-force. A good song is as abstract as a dream or nightmare, tethered to reality by frayed threads, liable to snap at any given moment. The song drags one out of bed, it pushes one back into bed and it fills the short period in between. The song – to the true lover of music – is birth, death, and that other part we bravely call ‘life.’ Most people cannot live. They are immobilized: by the fear of rejection, by the self-loathing they endure, by a slim conviction that they are unable to love another; and more than anything else by a crippling sense of devaluation imposed by this world on all of us, unless we fit the idealized notion of what a human being should – these days, must - be. These poor souls shuffle, mumble and crumble through the years like shadows. I knew very, very early on that I was one of those souls.

Well, what could I do? I could spend my life with the shadows, pretending to live: a man with a life-sentence to serve, which never quite materializes. Or I could transform myself into a symbol and give up entirely on real life, as they call it. The song becomes the living; the singing becomes the life; the haircut becomes the material body – fading over the years but never quite leaving. And I began just then to write about life the way it really is. I began to write songs for those who cannot live – which is almost everybody. At least in England it is. While the rest of the world at least attempts to live life, we English apologise and queue politely. This – girls and boys – is why we’re so good at the old art thing. Art is nothing but a survival instinct for the English.

When one is desperate and cold, the hardest thing to feel is hope; and yet precisely – and only - when one is desperate and cold, hope is utterly life-transforming. To have absolutely nothing except hope was what sustained me through those nights. When you’re young, tears are precious. They seem to contain the very essence of life. As my tears landed on that newish pine desk, slipping into the cracks in the useless veneer, in that bland, desolate box room, the Manchester rain pattered on the windows and the roof tiles. The flowing motion of water, of rain, of tears is something that can be found in those early songs, as real to me as blood itself. And just as essential.

By Christmas 1982 I was a jobless waif in my mid-20s possessed of the frankly ludicrous hope of becoming a singer. In the grimness of day, of course, I had no real prospect of becoming one. My hair was all wrong, my clothes were all wrong, my skin, and - my face? As I set about willing into existence the pop star whose name I did not yet know, I gathered up every mossy pebble of a death-wish, each vocal hook I had ever murmured, fewer than five literary influences, and my eternally shattered faith in love. I would sing-whisper in those days, which I pretended was in honour of my beloved Nico but in truth was probably to avoid being overheard by Mam in the room downstairs. I did not breathe a breath of fresh air for more than two months. The windows rarely opened and the curtains never twitched. I had lost weight; my family members were worried for my wellbeing; over my shoulders hung the clothes of an anorexic teenage girl. And then finally out of that bedroom wobbled, and then stumbled, and then fell a singer called Morrissey without a record deal, without a band and without a decent pair of shoes.


Morrissey

Morrissey yesterday issued the following statement on TTY:


Morrissey statement
I am indebted to three sources that have placed their own well-crafted videos on You Tube for the songWorld peace is none of your business. The three individual sources are named as Sharon Jheeta, Héctor González and wpeace123456. These videos fully understand the intent of the song, and I am relieved that these films exist. Yes, a similar document ought to have been harvested by the record label, but please understand that the pop or rock industry can be as dedicated to perpetuating public deception as the world of politics itself. God bless social media!
Liberty, equality and fraternity are the essence of the song; no monarchic rule, no political hierarchies, no bought-and-paid-for government thugs, security forces no longer beyond prosecution, and an end to megalomania, repression and corruption. Meat consumption is climate change, and if ever there were a self-evident lost cause it is the British so-called "royal family". Societies have never been so nervous; Pan Am Flight 103 differs not a jot from Malaysian Flight 17. The United Nations failure to imprison Tony Blair and George W. Bush for war crimes against Iraq has told us all that there can never be enough bloodshed, and the world is suffering its worst nervous breakdown. Do not feel powerless!
Many apparently powerless causes have succeeded in shifting political stupidity and greed. You areintellectual sanity. It is possible for nonviolent change; there are more people than there are aging despots; there are more people than there are world leaders. In truth, the world is leaderless. Please stop watching Fox News; anti-monarchial Britain has given up on the BBC – we know that every slot is paid for. We know that the number 1 position on the pop charts is "bought"; this is not 1955.
Thank you to all of my friends in Israel, Chile, Sweden, Poland, Argentina, Hungary, Romania, Finland and Italy who bought World peace is none of your business. It is 30 years on since The Smiths album entered the UK chart at number 2 with zero airplay and zero promotion, and the struggle for the airwaves remains difficult. Yet, I am writing this to you now, and you are reading it.
In answer to many people who have asked, I should like to finally make it clear that I have not received any television invitations – worldwide!– to either discuss World peace is none of your business, or even to sing any songs from the album.
Thank you for reading this. We have our first World peace is none of your business concert booked in Lisbon (Portugal) on October 6th.
All we have is each other.
for the animals, for intellectual sanity ...
MORRISSEY
5 August 2014.

On October 6th, Morrissey will be back on the stage... perhaps even sooner. This is EXCELLENT news.


RETURNING TO THE STAGE SOON


The TTY statement is the first time that Morrissey has publicly criticised his record label, Harvest, but of course we knew he wasn't happy with them, as Our Mozzer has criticised the label on twitter a number of times, including on May 31st, as reported here, when Our Mozzer tweeted, "My latest singles simply disappeared. Thank you Harvest."

Apart from the announcement that Morrissey is playing Portugal, and the dig at Harvest, there are three other things in the TTY statement that have particularly caught my attention; firstly there is the  sentence, "God bless social media!" This is simply hilarious bearing in mind that the vast majority of Morrissey fans don't believe that he uses the internet.

The second thing of interest from the statement, is Morrissey's use of highlighting random words in bold. There are eight words highlighted in total, and I don't recall Morrissey ever having highlighted random words before in his TTY statements. Coincidentally, my blog entry of yesterday also had bold words used in the middle of sentences for the first time. Eight of them to be precise. As I say, just a coincidence.

Thirdly, despite Morrissey stating that he received no invitations from any Television shows, I believe that under normal circumstances, in the lead up to an album release, Morrissey would have put himself 'out there', but in the lead up to the release of World Peace, Morrissey was in such a crushed state, that he just didn't have the energy to personally promote his LP. It is a tragedy that Morrissey felt too low to promote what many are already calling his masterpiece, but thankfully, the announcement of new concerts means that yet again, Morrissey has somehow managed to lift himself out of the gutter, and he is coming back to once again 'GIVE'.... it is, after all, the reason he lives!



Our Mozzer once again returned to the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday evening, and once again I missed him. The @stillmozsworld account has again been closed after he exited the world's number 1 online Morrissey pub, so I am only able to report on a few of the tweets I saw. Here they are:

"I'm afraid I fell asleep at my keyboard last night. I was not ignoring you. I was ignoring life."

In response to @Avirtousvamp tweeting, "@stillMozsworld The statement was beautiful. As always": "This is what I fell asleep writing last night."

"Romantic and square is hip and aware."

In response to @mharrison55 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld It has been my goal for a while to receive a tweet back. Honoured.": "My reply means less than a Kardashian sneeze."

"Nobody owes anyone anything. Each to themselves.'

In response to @GirlOnBike1102 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Romance isn't dead": "It is round these parts.'

In response to @GirlOnBike1102 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I'll nip out for a fag": "Perhaps have five. Wish for an early death ETC"




"Technology brings us closer. To death."

In response to @stephenfry tweeting, "Join the movement @check_one_two by tweeting a pic of you grabbing your crotch": "I have nothing to grab."

In response to @MadAlix14 asking, "@stillMozsworld What happened to your explosive kegs? Did they go off?": "They exploded once and they were never replaced. To my shame."

In response to @PapaSonsFilm tweeting, "@stillmozsworld Late to the latest party": "Why be late when you can not turn up at all? Welcome."

In response to @PapaSonsFilm tweeting, @stillMozsworld I've got nowhere else to go": "Nor do I. You are in bad company."

"Will I see a Blue Rose in Greece? Turkey?"

""Across lap, trusty Winchester rifle 1886 issue"" (Ed - Does anybody know where this quote is from, and was there anything that was tweeted to prompt OM quoting it?)

"I am travel-stained"

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TtUchwQQO0"

"Let Me Sing And I'm Happy"

"my favourite of them all? wpeace123456"

And here is the World Peace is None of Your Business video by wpeace123456, along with the two others mentioned in the TTY statement by Sharon Jheeta and Héctor González. (wpeace123456's is the third one, as featured a number of times on the Twitterdilly Arms chart.)










In response to @sorcha69 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld @mecaniqueorange is orange the new black to wear on the outside or have i been watching to much shite on netflix": "There is nothing good on netflix. Not that I even know what that is."

If I missed any other tweets of importance, I will copy them when OM returns.


This morning, I awoke to find over 200 abusive comments had been left on my blog overnight by somebody calling themselves 'Disgruntled Human'. I only read two of the comments, in which I was called, among other things, "sick", "perverted", "a bully", "a nazi", "Adolf Hitler", "a woman abuser" and "a child abuser". I deleted the long-winded comments at the click of a button.

The gist of 'Disgruntled Human's comments, were that he wanted me to remove his name from my blog, but 'Disgruntled Human' forgot to mention in any of the 200 comments who he is! I am assuming that 'Disgruntled Human' is a person called Sean Calder, who uses the twitter account @Sean_Classic, although as we all know anybody could be anybody on the internet.

The only reason I am assuming 'Disgruntled Human' is Sean, is because @Sean_Classic has also sent me over 100 abusive tweets of a similar nature. '@Sean_Classic' has also been sending tweets to @stillMozsworld, and interestingly enough, Sean has started addressing @stillMozsworld as "Morrissey"! It would appear that the penny has finally dropped with Sean that Morrissey is behind MorrisseysWorld, and I am therefore guessing that the reason Sean now wants his name removed from my blog, is because he is embarrassed that he didn't realise earlier that Morrissey is MorrisseysWorld, and he is worried that my comments may leave him looking foolish when this whole phenomenal story one day breaks out.

There is of course no need for Sean to feel embarrassed or foolish, for he has actually realised something that that vast majority of Morrissey fans have not, and Sean is in fact one of only forty/fifty people in the world, who has worked out that Morrissey is on the internet interacting with his fans.

I have no reason whatsoever to want Sean to feel uncomfortable, so although he has been extremely abusive towards me, I have taken down all of my blog entries that mention his name, but I would now like to take this opportunity to ask Sean to embrace MorrisseysWorld rather than fight it. The MorrisseysWorld phenomenon has presented a once in a life-time opportunity for Morrissey fans to interact with their hero, and Sean is obviously a massive Morrissey fan, so now that he has discovered Morrissey on twitter, he has the chance to chat to his hero, and what is more, in years to come, Sean will also be able to say, "I was there". The choice is of course Sean's, and he may not want to interact with his hero, so if Sean does decide to walk away and NOT interact with Morrissey on twitter, then I will have no reason to write about him.

The olive branches are being handed out thick and fast this week, and I am pleased to see that both GOB and LizzyCat have accepted the branches I offered them yesterday, with Lizzy posting, "let us draw a line under the past and continue the journey. For me it has always been about Morrissey and I have kept the Blue Rose Society in my Twitter profile. It is always wonderful to interact with Our Mozzer.", whilst GOB tweeted, "@TheRatsBack I am just tired of getting into debates with people and being told what to think or do, so quietly observing in the background. My beliefs about MW haven't changed."

GOB, LizzyCat and Marcus have all been welcomed back into the fold by Our Mozzer, and they are therefore more than welcome to comment here whenever they like. It would be great if the likes of George Edge, Willow and Chuck would also return, as I don't believe for one minute that they've suddenly stopped believing that Moz is MW. MorrisseysWorld can be a complete mind fuck at times, especially when BrokenMorrissey is involved, and ALL of us have made mistakes in how we've interpreted things, but history will one day show that this whole adventure really is something incredibly special, so anybody who is part of it, should hang on tight to the train, and continue on the journey.

For any of those that are returning, and after all, why would you NOT want to be a part of this phenomenon, a word of advice; if 'BrokenMorrissey' returns, try to understand him, and be careful not to upset him. Tiptoe around him. Broken is the cloak Morrissey wears when his world falls apart. Broken is fragile, is easily hurt, and is like a wounded animal, and wounded animals can bite. It is very easy to presume that nothing hurts Morrissey, but that would be a wrong assumption - EVERYTHING hurts Morrissey, and the more blows he receives, the more numb he becomes. As Morrissey gets more numb, I would guess the less things seem to matter to him, which for us fans, is heartbreaking. Broken is a VERY real part of Morrissey, and is probably the side to him that he warned us about in the song I am Two People: "The other one you don't know, but you don't want to". Perhaps via MorrisseysWorld, we have now met this "other one".

I will sign off today by asking, how the hell did I mange to miss the return of David Brent? I am embarrassed beyond belief that I missed this, and only found out about it when it was mentioned today on GMTV. It would appear that Brent returned last year as a Youtube special, and Ricky Gervais is now going to turn it into a film. It just goes to show, that if I was unaware that a huge act like David Brent had returned (along with the unbelievably funny song Equality Street), then it is no wonder that so few people know about MorrisseysWorld or World Peace Is None of Your Business. God may well be blessing social media, but mainstream media currently remains a bigger force, and therefore must have the blessing of somebody much bigger than God. Mainstream media also has Richard and Judy.

Since the new MorrisseysWorld twitter account arrived nine days ago, I have been slightly suspicious as to it's authenticity, mainly because this time around Our Mozzer has used words like "gig" and "ETC". He has even used "&" instead of "and", which he has NEVER done before. I of all people should know that you should never say "never" with Morrissey, but when it comes to writing, most of us are creatures of habit, and we tend to stick to our own rules.

When Our Mozzer appeared in the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday evening, I decided to take the opportunity to try and find out if the person tweeting was the same person who has always been behind MorrisseysWorld, i.e. Morrissey. Not only did Our Mozzer pass my test with flying colours, but he saw straight through what I was doing. Here are his highlights:

In response to @LizzyCatMoz asking, "@stillMozsworld Is there anything you would like to ask us?": "I am stumped."

In response to me tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Stumped? Have you been playing cricket? Do you remember where you said you wished to play cricket with me?": "It is impossible for me to play cricket. I will break for tea though."


MORRISSEY AND SINEAD O'CONNOR BREAKING FOR TEA

As OM had not responded to my question about remembering where, I tried again with, "@stillMozsworld Tea is one of the civil parts of cricket, but DO you remember the village you said you'd like to play?": "Shanklin village"

I then tweeted, "You have a good memory", to which OM replied, "@TheRatsBack I believed you were testing me. I also said I would wear a blue rose."

When I then admitted that I was testing OM because of his use of "gig, ETC and &", he responded, "Oh Rat.... How could you?" and then added, "excuse me, who said never say Morrissey would never?"

"I treat people the way I have been treated by people."

In response to me asking, "@stillMozsworld Have you ANY idea at all why your so called fans constantly kick you? I'd love to know your view": "People always rally against things they do not understand. Those that kick me do not understand me. I just need love."

I had asked the above question because of all the hatred and bile that continues to be aimed at Moz from his 'fans' on Solow, but I also had in mind the MorrisseysWorld fans who recently abandoned Morrissey during his recent illness. Morrissey's answer to my question really hit the nail on the head.... "those that kick me do not understand me". These past couple of months have probably seen Moz as low as he has ever felt in his life, with the word 'depression' not even touching the surface of how he was feeling, and yet rather than try and understand the broken Morrissey, some of his fans simply walked away, with the reason being that a broken Morrissey was no good to them, and wasn't the Morrissey they WANTED/NEEDED him to be. As one of the former MorrisseysWorlders put it yesterday in a tweet, "If Morrissey could treat people like that EVEN IF HE IS BROKEN he is not for me. I would have expected better."




In response to @Jazissey asking, "@stillMozsworld does one have to believe in one's own art in order for it to be somewhat successful?": "If you do not believe in your own art then others will not believe in it either."

In response to @GirlOnBike1102 mentioning that LizzyCat's £2.40 lottery win is nearly enough for a Ryan Air flight to Dublin: "landing just outside Dublin. In Portsmouth." Could the mention of Portsmouth be a clue to one of the city's on the next tour? Dublin has already been confirmed.


Astraea has made a welcome return to these parts, leaving the following comment yesterday:

"Let me take you for a game of ping pong," he said to me.
"I want to see how well you handle the balls," he said to me - again.


The eight words' comment made me think about your own ping pong here. And then of course it made me think about all the other kinds of ping pong there are.

I do happen to like a good game myself. Of ping pong, that is.

And my ball control is absolutely out of this world.

Must be my dab hands.

Posted by Astraea to Following The Mozziah at 6 August 2014 15:11


Astraea's comment makes me think that I might actually have been right about Morrissey's latest TTY statement. Perhaps those eight bold words weren't a coincidence after all, perhaps he really was playing Ping Pong with me!

Well, that's it for today. I haven't yet managed to see a copy of Hot Press magazine with the new exclusive Morrissey interview, but bits are starting to appear on the internet, including this classic:

Interviewer: You must have been offered lots of film roles down the years...

Morrissey: Me? Film roles? Are you serious? I was offered a Rice Krispie's commercial and a Kit-Kat commercial. Thank God I wasn't waiting for Macbeth... I'd be very upset."

Witty as ever.... and no longer broken.

On August 2nd, Jonathan Ross (@Wossy) tweeted, "The new Morrissey album is super." Late last night, Wossy tweeted, "OK, so, I don't like to brag, but I think I managed to cheer Morrissey up a little today. I will sleep well tonight." When @Mozzerlyrics then asked Wossy if there was any chance of having Mozzer on his show, Wossy replied, "fingers crossed", and then added that his show was back in October.

If Morrissey is to appear on The Jonathan Ross Show, perhaps we could expect something like this:

JONATHAN ROSS: (Addressing the studio audience and looking into the camera) Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my vewy gweat pwivilege and pleasure to welcome our final guest this evening, and it is a man who needs no introduction whatsoever; although he has insisted on having one, so here it comes.*Audience laugh* This man is an icon of Bwitish music, and not only has he got five number one albums to his name, he has also managed six number two albums, including his latest super long player, World Peace Is None of Your Business, so could you please put your hands together and give a warm welcome to, Mowwissey.

(The audience clap and Morrissey enters the studio, wearing jeans, a smart button shirt, and a jacket
which has a blue rose in the button hole.)

JR: Welcome.

MORRISSEY: Rarely welcome, Jonathan. In fact, usually most un-welcome.

JR: Well, you're always welcome here Mowwissey. And let me start by congratulating you on the amazing success of your latest album, World Peace is None of Your Business, which I have to say, is already one of my favourite albums of yours ever, *Morrissey smiles in a humble manor, and bites his lip* but yet another Number 2.

MORRISSEY: Yes, once again the bridesmaid, Jonathan, once again the bridesmaid.


JR: I have a copy of the album here, *JR reaches under the desk and pulls out a vinyl copy of the album* (Addressing the audience) and look at this Ladies and Gentlemen, it is an actual wecord, not a cd or download. Wecords do still exist, and I would like to thank Mowwissey's guitarist, Boz Boorer *gestures towards Boz who is stood over on the band stage with the rest of the musicians* for bringing in the album from his marvellous little wecord shop in Camden called, Vinyl Boutique.




JR: (Shouting over to Boz) Can I keep it? *Boz shouts something back which isn't picked up by the studio mic, but the studio audience hear it and laugh* (Addressing the camera) I don't know if you heard that at home, but Boz says I can keep it if I give him eighteen quid *Studio audience laugh again*
(Addressing the audience, Morrissey and the camera) Eighteen quid? No wonder wecords have disappeared. The last time I bought an album on vinyl it was a fiver; mind you, that was back in the eighties *Audience laugh* Make It Big by Wham!. *Audience laugh again* I wonder what happened to Wham!? *Audience laugh again and Morrissey offers a polite chortle*
(Addressing Morrissey) So, Mowwissey, a number two wecord, achieved with virtually NO publicity whatsoever, and with no personal appearances. It is pretty unheard of in this day and age for anybody to have such success without personal pwomotion, but is it twue what I wead in a statement of yours, that not one single television show throughout the world invited you on, in the lead up to the album's welease?

MORRISSEY: Perfectly true, Jonathan. Perfectly true. Not even an invitation onto Richard and Judy, let alone a programme with some actual viewers. *The audience laugh*

JR: You know if I'd been on air, I'd have had you on.

MORRISSEY: But alas, Jonathan, you weren't.

JR: You should've waited to welease the album around now. You never know, you might've achieved the Number 1.

MORRISSEY: I don't think even an appearance on your show would have helped me topple the mighty Dread Sheeran from the top of the UK chart. *Audience laugh*

JR: Mind you, Ed's album is rather good, don't you think?

MORRISSEY: I've not heard it.

JR: Really? Do you not listen to any current music?

MORRISSEY: (Smiling and shaking his head) No, Jonathan.

JR: You mean that you don't have 5 Seconds of Summer on your ipod?

MORRISSEY: Who sings it? *Audience laughs*

JR: They're a band, not a song! *Audience laughs again*

MORRISSEY: Well, I don't own an iPod, but if I did, I'd be pretty confident that they wouldn't be on it.

JR: They're quite catchy.

MORRISSEY: I can't catch. *Audience laugh*

JR: Well you seem to be able to catch illnesses all right. You've been through the mill a bit wecently Mowwissey, haven't you?

MORRISSEY: If what I have been through is a mill, then I shall be giving up bread. *Audience and JR laugh*

JR: You've had just about every illness known to mankind, it's a wonder you're still alive. *Audience laugh*

MORRISSEY: I never have been alive, Jonathan. Not in the true sense of the word at any rate.

JR: We're going to hear you sing a song from your new album in a moment, *a solitary whoop is heard from the audience, which causes the rest of the audience to laugh, and Morrissey and JR both chortle too* but before we start talking about your album, I must ask you about that wonderful blue rose you are wearing. I noticed a member of your audience give you a blue rose in your film that came out last year, and I have also noticed on twitter that there is some sort of Morrissey Blue Rose Society, so what's it all about? What is the meaning of the blue rose?

MORRISSEY: Does everything have to have a meaning? Does anything have a meaning? If I'm honest, I really don't know what it's about. One or two of my fans started bringing blue roses to my concerts around three years ago, and others have followed suit.

JR: Perhaps it is because the blue rose represents unwequited love, or maybe it's something to do with Oscar Wilde, whose followers all wore green carnations?

MORRISSEY: You would have to ask my fans. I just keep getting given blue roses, so occasionally I wear one.

JR: It's certainly a very stwiking flower, and of course the blue matches your eyes.

MORRISSEY: Are you flirting with me, Jonathan? *Audience laugh*

JR: Well, I didn't set out to, but you are a very attwactive man, so perhaps sub-consciously I am. *Audience laugh again* Shall we get down to business? *The audience laugh again* Oh, stop it!
 I mean the business of World Peace, although according to you, Mowwissey, World Peace is none of our business.

MORRISSEY: Well, actually it is our business, Jonathan, but the powers that be would prefer it not to be. They would prefer it if none of us got involved in trying to bring about world peace. They would prefer it if we all kept quiet, and left everything in their capable hands, but unfortunately their capable hands don't seem to have saved the people of Syria, or Israel, or the Ukraine. Nothing ever changes. A hundred years ago, the capable hands of our trusted leaders sent over sixteen million people to their death in the Great War, although what exactly was great about it, I really don't understand. There is nothing great about war, Jonathan, but the world leaders continue to fight, and fight and fight, and we commoners are told to be quiet. *Audience claps*

JR: It's heavy stuff on that opening track, but there are some lighter moments on the album as well, including Kiss Me A Lot, which seems to have you snogging all over the place. *Audience and Morrissey laugh*

MORRISSEY: Yes, that one's a bit of a fantasy moment. It isn't real.

JR: The whole album is quite a change of diwection for you musically though, isn't it?

MORRISSEY: Well we aren't One Direction, if that's what you mean, although Boz does sometimes refer to me as Harry Styles, and me to him as Niall. *Audience laugh* Don't ask me the names of the other band members, I haven't a clue. My band that is, not One Direction, I know all their names! *Audience laugh again*

JR: So who came up with the idea of intwoducing such an awway of diffewent instwuments into this album; we've got harps, clarinets, oboes, accordions, and even a didgeridoo.

MORRISSEY: It was very much a team effort. Believe it or not, The Morrissey band is not just me, we all have a part; although of course, my part is considerably bigger than everybody else's. *Audience and JR laugh*

JR: And tell me something about the lywics, there's the serious, the funny, and the surreal all in there.

MORRISSEY: As always, I just let everything spill out of the pen. I have no control.

JR: And although you didn't do any pwomotion for the album, you did pwoduce a number of spoken word videos, didn't you; including one featuring Nancy Sinatra, and another one with Pamela Anderson, which I think we are going to show now. (Addressing the audience) Would you like to see Morrissey in action with Pamela Anderson, ladies and gentlemen? *The audience shout YES* Don't get too excited, it's not like Pammy's video with Tommy Lee, although there is a rather large tower in it. *Audience laugh and the spoken word video for Earth is the Loneliest Planet is played*


*The video finishes, and the audience clap*

JR: How about that ladies and gentlemen, Morrissey and Pamela Anderson in a video for the song, Earth is the Loneliest Planet. *The audience clap again* And that video has already received hundreds of thousands of hits. It won't be long before it overtakes Justin Bieber's Baby and PSY's Gangnam Style as the most watched video on youtube *Audience and Morrissey laugh* (Addressing Morrissey) Well, Morrissey, it's been an absolute pleasure, as always, to have you on the show, and I believe that you, and Boz and the boys are now going to perform for us, is that wight?

MORRISSEY: Sing, not perform, but yes. We're going to play Staircase at the University.

JR: One of my favourites. You'd better go over and join your band, whilst I intwoduce you on stage, but first of all, can you all please put your hands together for Mowwissey. *The audience clap, and Morrissey stands up, bows to the audience, and walks across to join the band*
(Addressing the camera) My thanks to all my guests this week, including Eddie Izzard, Helena Bonham-Carter, Bill Woache and of course, the man who is seeing us out this week with the song Staircase at the University, taken from the hugely successful album, World Peace is None of your Business, it's Mowwissey. *Audience clap and Morrissey and the band swing into action.




If Morrissey were to wear a blue rose on The Jonathan Ross show, the Solowers would go into meltdown. If MorrisseysWorld.Com were to then open on the back of it, Solow would die. The chances of this happening are ZERO! Morrissey would NEVER!

In other news, Our Mozzer once again briefly returned to the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday, but the question now being asked is, "Who is @stillMozsworld?" Broken left this comment this morning, on my blog entry of yesterday, suggesting that @stillMozsworld certainly isn't Our Mozzer:

Witty as ever - not QUITE.

Though the new 'OM' is passable, it's not quite OM is it? No Wildean witticisms, poetic barbs or snide pop culture references; instead just playful banter a la Fifi.

The fact none of you can recognise the difference between OM and this imposter of an imposter confirms OM's decision to leave to be the correct one.

This truly is nothing to do with MW.

I bid you all a good day.

Broken

Posted by Broken to Following The Mozziah at 8 August 2014 07:47



My "witty as ever" comment of yesterday, was actually in reference to TRM's interview answer about acting, and was NOT an observation on the new 'Our Mozzer', who Broken has quite rightly pointed out, is more like Fifi than Parody Moz. The very fact that I wrote about my suspicions yesterday, goes to prove that some of us did recognise the difference between OM and this "imposter of an imposter", with HeatherCat also alerting me to her concerns. As to whether the person tweeting as @stillMozsworld is a completely different person to the one who used to tweet as @MorrisseysWorld and @MorrisseyParody, I really cannot say, but the difference in style WAS noticed.

It is my interpretation that @stillMozsworld is 'The Real Morrissey' as opposed to 'Parody Morrissey', and Moz is currently interacting with us just as Fifi did, and not as Parody Moz used to, with the "Wildean witticisms", "poetic barbs" and "snide pop culture references". Maybe I'm wrong, and perhaps @stillMozsworld isn't Morrissey at all, and was led to us by Astraea just to test us.

Whether Morrissey or not, here are @stillmozsworld 's highlights from yesterday, and a few missing tweets from the other day. I shall refer to @stillMozsworld as SMW rather than OM, as he is NOT OM:

"I am going to give you a chance to influence my listening. One song I should listen to. Now."

In response to the above, @sorcha69 suggested Hiding Tonight by Alex Turner, to which SMW replied, "The most overrated man that ever lived."


ALEX TURNER - "THE MOST OVERRATED MAN THAT EVER LIVED" - SMW

"I am the man in the high castle."

The above tweet was a follow up to the tweet I mentioned on August 6th, in which SMW quoted from The Man in the High Castle, about a "trusty Winchester rifle". Perhaps Morrissey is currently reading this book, which is apparently about how the world might have been, had Germany and Japan won the second world war; if anybody does actually win wars?




In response to @AmIMoving2Fast tweeting, "stillMozsworld A busker in Macclesfield earlier was singing Panic - made me smile as I walked passed": "Was it the drummer?'

I have still not managed to see a copy of the latest Morrissey interview with Hot Press magazine, but more snippets have appeared online, including one question and answer referring to Scottish independence, in which Morrissey says, "They must cut ties with the United King-dumb. I love Scotland and I love the Scottish spirit and they do not need Westminster in the least - it's the other way around."

The above view is completely different to the view expressed by Our Mozzer (@MorrisseyParody) and reported on my blog entry of July 15th, in which OM said, "Just say 'NO' to Scottish independence." I raised this point with SMW yesterday in The Twit Arms, saying, "@stillmozsworld It would appear that Morrissey is all for Scotland leaving the UK; a differing view to yours... or have you changed your mind?". SMW replied, "I change my mind on a daily basis", before adding, "about everything."

SMW's final tweet was, "0 2 be in london", which is not a new exclusive, as a number of other people on twitter had already been speculating about an O2 Arena London concert in November.

That's enough from me for another week, and I now have a weekend of cricket to look forward to. I shall sign off with one last quote from Morrissey's latest Hot Press interview, which is about his writing of Autobiography:

"I wrote the childhood sequence almost as a child might, and the adolescent period as an adolescent might, and the adult section as a... suicidal might. it's really just a factual account of how events affected me, so therefore any criticism of it doesn't make any sense, since I am me, and only I can know what it's like to be me, and so on."

When yesterday's cricket match was called off due to the rain, I thought I might be in for a dull day, but Morrissey wondered into the Twitterdilly Arms just before lunchtime, and pretty much stayed all day. Before I cover what was discussed, I should mention that I awoke yesterday morning, not only to the rain, but to this bombshell news on TTY:

9 August 2014

Harvest Records

Three weeks after the release of Morrissey's World Peace Is None Of Your Business (#2 UK, #14 US), Capitol Records/Harvest have ended their relationship with Morrissey, as directed by label boss Steve Barnett.
Morrissey is once again in search of a record label.


STEVE BARNETT - DIRECTED HARVEST TO END THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH MORRISSEY


On reading the news, I immediately took to twitter, to try and give a piece of my mind to Harvest's dreadfully inept Digital Marketing Manager, Bich Ngoc Cao (@madcao), but I discovered that I had been blocked by Bich! I can only presume that Bich blocked me following the criticism I gave her back in June. The truth was obviously too much to bear. Bich Ngoc Cao is probably a university graduate, and probably has a marketing degree of some type, but if she is typical of the sort of person that is running record companies these days, then it is no surprise that the music industry is in such a bad way. Harvest had NO idea what Morrissey was about, and without an official Twitter account to promote him, Bich and her team were lost. Harvest failed on every possible level.


BICH NGOC CAO - FAILED TO GET MORRISSEY'S SINGLES INTO THE CHART

Morrissey has given his reaction to Harvest on twitter, but before I report on that, first some other news. In an interview with the Guardian on Saturday, George Michael was asked to tell a secret, and his reply was, "The Smiths are reforming". This statement got some people VERY excited, but Morrissey (@stillMozsworld) poked his head around the doors of the Twit Arms on Saturday to offer the following:

"George Michael is obviously still stoned."

I suggested to Morrissey that perhaps The Smiths were reforming with George as their singer. I then suggested to Moz that perhaps he should take over as the singer of Wham! Morrissey replied, "I have not been approached." Astraea jumped in and added, "this is no time for jokes. What if George gets confused and tries to reform A-ha soon?" Moz replied, ""Some nine year old tough who peddles drugs I swear I only bought an eighth."


GEORGE MICHAEL - HAS A SECRET

Here are the highlights from Morrissey's visit to the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday:

"So once again I tour with no label. Perhaps George had the right idea... I jest."

"Reforming the old group. Does anyone still remember The Nosebleeds?"

"Who knows where we move onto from here. My name is sure to stain the family name."

"The pale moon in the dawning sky"

In response to @hiddensun11 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld So many "High Castle" references": "I am working my way through. High Castle speaks to me this week. At least I have all the time in the world to read now. Sipping tea with a record on. New Ways but Love Stays by The Supremes"

"Harvest was a mistake."

"Harvest would have failed to promote Jesus Christ to the apostles."

"I just assumed they had been lost in a brewery ever since I released the album. No promotion at all."

"Do not get me started on the World Peace "Bundles"."


THE WORLD PEACE "BUNDLES"


ME: "The ONLY thing Harvest had to offer you was their name. It was a name not worth having."

MOZ: "As much use as signing to Jet Records."

ME: "Jeff Lynne did both!"

MOZ: "I like to think my hair is a little bit better."

ME: "Not as curly. The Fall released on Jet in the nineties. I could actually see your name on that yellow label."

MOZ: "Well if anyone is listening... although one would hate to act like a spoilt Victorian child."




"All we have is each other."

"We exist in a well of loneliness"

In response to @tabootlb tweeting, "@stillmozsworld hiya Moz, what sort of venue will you be doing on uk tour?": "Back rooms in pubs at this rate."

MOZ: "The moment changes. One must be ready to change with it. Or be left high and dry. Smiths are not dead."

ME: "But THE Smiths are!"

MOZ: "Exactly Rat. Although as you know The Smiths were only Johnny and I."

HARRISON (@OdysseyNumber5): "What about Craig Gannon? :-) j/k"

MOZ: "By that extension Troy Tate is equally important."

HARRISON: "True. Andy Rourke was a pretty solid bass player, wasn't he?"

MOZ: "Yes but lost himself to his demons."

ME: "The other two kept the beat and all Joyce does now is keep the bleat. Your current band are the best you have ever had."

MOZ: "Well I KNOW this but I am told people do not like them. Jesse is underrated by most. Joyce looks like he has lived his life twice over. He needs a face transplant. I am sure my money can give him that."





In response to @MadAlix14 asking, "@stillMozsworld how's the novel coming along?": "New chapters about incompetent record label bosses. Could write for hours."

In response to @MadAlix14 adding, "@stillMozsworld that could perhaps fill a hefty portion of bio vol.2": "It would be the WHOLE of a second autobiography. "Mistreated and Maligned."

LIZZY (@LizzyCatMoz): "Have you considered writing a weekly newspaper column?"

MOZ: "Perhaps an Agony Aunt role would suit me more. Although I'd only have time to answer my own letters."

ME: "Careful, old son. Tweets like that one are slipping you back into Parody Moz mode."

MOZ: "Is that such a bad thing."

ME: "Of course not. I would love to see Parody Moz back. How about a parody piece about Harvest?"

MOZ: "Give me a week to recover."

ME: "Do you EVER recover from those thrusts of the knife?"

MOZ: "I'm still reeling from a knife that was thrust into me in 1987."

ME: "Reeling, but still able to produce a new work of art. Do you realise JUST how good World Peace Is None Of Your Business is?"

MOZ: "A monster. I know. You know. THEY know. Everybody else refuses to know. The name is tainted."

ME: "I think you are probably right. It is the price you have paid for being true to yourself."

MOZ: "The music industry and increasingly the public cannot take real people. They need those who can read from a crib sheet."

ME: "You know you are right, and actually, it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to be wrong, because whatever you choose IS you!"

MOZ: "I was once wrong. Only once. I wore a shirt that did not match my shoes. I remained in bed for a week."

ME: "Lol. I'm surprised you didn't blame the shirt manufacturer."

MOZ: "I did. A stern letter was written. They paid for the pills."

ME: "A fairly decent payout then, that's a lot of pills."

MOZ: "Yes, I believe they are now out of business. Serves them right for making such horrible attire. Do not ask why I owned a piece."

ME: "It could have been the shoes that were wrong, and the shirt was right."

MOZ: "My shoes are NEVER wrong."

ME: "I was waiting for that."

MOZ: "I've not become predictable have I? Have I become a fat old slag already?"

ME: "A slag with great shoes."

MOZ: "The best type of slag. Perhaps we should stop talking of me being a slag. I am in need of a new label but I won't whore myself."

ME: "What old label do you fancy? Give me 3 off the top of your head."

MOZ: "Sanctury EMI Rough Trade."

ME: "I meant what old 70s retro label do you fancy next?"

MOZ: "The brain is not functioning. Well we have already mentioned Jet. Why not Curb Records and Beggars Banquet."

ME: "I don't remember Curb. Who recorded for them? Post me your favourite Curb song."

MOZ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTqnw6OQXS0 "And before you ask about Beggars Banquet.. Nico - Camera Obscura."



 REMEMBER THE GOOD - ROY ORBISON ON CURB RECORDS



CAMERA OBSCURA - NICO ON BEGGARS BANQUET


At this stage, Astraea (@FadingGoldLeaf) entered the Twitterdilly Arms, and put a few songs on the jukebox, including Les Petits Papiers by Régine.



ME: (To Astraea) "I love it when you introduce us to such gems. Who the bleeding hell is Regine?"

MOZ: "Queen of the Night."

(Note: Régine 'Queen of the Night' Zylberberg: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Régine_Zylberberg)

MOZ: "Can I be bothered to write a scathing True-To-You post? Onwards, upwards. Then backwards, downwards. I always return to where I was in 1982."

In response to me mentioning that I like Adam Ant: "I have a soft spot for Adam these days."

"@jamieoliver Just how airbrushed is your picture? You overweight butchers apprentice"

In response to @edsheeran tweeting, "7 weeks at No.1 in the uk, it's getting more and more surreal": "Yes how surreal. Your record label has bought 300,000 copies of your dire disgusting disgrace of an LP."

"@TessDaly Have you decided on the line up for strictly? I know of someone who has just become available."

"By popular demand I am taking a break. From Twitter and Music. The latter has been forced upon me. Leave me alone I was only singing!"

"I will leave you with this." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWWq5u5XxxY


EUROPEAN ME - JOHNNY MARR - PERHAPS SEEN BY MORRISSEY AS A PING-PONG SONG

Morrissey returned to the Twitterdilly Arms a little later in the evening, and I managed to catch up with him again. I do hate to hog him, but very few people choose to converse with him. Their loss is my gain.

ME: "You don't seem too distraught regarding the parting with Harvest. Is it a relief? WHY weren't they interested in promoting?"

MOZ: "I find it hysterical. It has still annoyed me. They were incompetent, I doubt I have been removed from their 'Artists' page. They were never sold on me. I still believe they think they signed Van Morrison."

ME: "What brought everything to such an abrupt end, was it your criticism on TTY?"

MOZ: "These things cannot be discussed. But it was three things. That was one of them."

ME: "Was your shirt not matching your shoes one of the other two? I don't believe Steve Barnett would've noticed."

MOZ: "Steve has yet to realise he even signed me."

ME: "One day he might realise what he had."

MOZ: "He never had me. This year has been quite an unusual year. It would have crushed a lesser artist. But here I am. Still."

LIZZY: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

MOZ: "I must be the strongest man alive. Apart from Nicola Adams."

ME: "Treble lol."

MOZ: "I feel I am regaining a part of myself. My humour is perhaps returning? If it can be described as such."

NICOLA ADAMS - A STRONGER MAN THAN MOZ

In response to @LizzyCatMoz worrying that she sounded too fawning towards Moz: "We all fawn. I would fawn over Edith Sitwell if the chance arose. Alas, she is long gone."

In response to @LizzyCatMoz asking, "@stillMozsworld What would you say to Edith Sitwell?": "Just where did you buy your clothes? And how much pain are you in?"








"@Johnny_Marr The black peat of the hills when I was still ill. See this mess."

In response to @MadAlix14 asking, "@stillmozsworld Is the homoerotic locker-room part about Johnny Marr too?": "Humanerotic." Moz then added, "Everything I've ever written is about Johnny. Rotten."

In response to @GirlOnBike1102 asking, "@stillmozsworld How about being the opening act for Johnny's new tour?": "We will close the show together but I will not open."



FORGIVE SOMEONE - MORRISSEY - A PING PONG SONG?


LIZZY: "Your follower numbers have increased" (Ed - currently 76)

MOZ: "I am not sure how this has happened? Perhaps they are attracted to failure?"

ME: "In the Hot Press interview you mentioned 38 people who would buy Mrs Shufflewick. Did you happen to have 38 twitter followers at the time?"

MOZ: "Leave that one to you. But there or there about. Or not. I know nothing. I'm not Morrissey remember?"

ME: "I thought you were not Parody Morrissey! I get the distinct impression that you ARE the real Morrissey, although only in this pub!"

MOZ: "I can only be me."

ME: "And yet you own many cloaks."

MOZ: "All more pathetic than the last. Or is that record labels? Who knows."

ME: "Lol. WHO knows indeed." Trouble Loves Me - Morrissey (LIVE in front of 20,000 people THIS YEAR): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ric03zoToc

MOZ: "I was ill from the very start of this tour."

ME: "Funnily enough, somebody DM'd me and told me that. The whole crew were apparently VERY concerned. And now?"

MOZ: "Better. Just. Although can one ever recover from the depths?"

ME: "Whilst there remains a stage for you to clamber on to, then I believe you will always find the strength."

MOZ: "Clamber on to or be carried/stretchered off."


"There's a cash register, ringing, and it weighs so heavy on my back"

I feel I have written far too much for one day, so I shall stop. I haven't mentioned any of Morrissey's Friday night visit to The Arms, but as most of the conversations were with former BRS members who do not want me mentioning them anymore, it makes things a little harder. I have in fact had to block a whole number of former BRS members due to the continued abuse they give me on twitter, with them even having a pop at me for walking my dog!

 Maybe I will post the Moz quotes from Friday on tomorrow's blog entry, and just leave out the names of the innocent. I can't quite fathom out why I am the one that everybody has decided to blame for their previous fallouts, when the actual person that they fell out with, was the person they have now all forgiven at the drop of a hat. I suppose the answer is because I am not Morrissey, and he is, although they only believe he is Morrissey when it suits them, and that tends to be when he's not laying in the gutter. Oh well.

*Goes off whistling Trouble loves me*

The comedian Robin Williams has taken his own life. This is not a shock to me in the slightest, as in every photograph you could see the lost look in his eyes. Although it is incredibly sad news, at least those close to Robin Williams will have comfort in the knowledge that he has at last freed himself from his demons. There is nothing anybody could have EVER said or done to stop Robin Williams doing what he did, he simply didn't have enough reason to remain on this lonely planet. He was probably unable to live the perfect life that he wanted; the one trapped inside his mind.


ROBIN WILLIAMS - TORTURED... AND A VERY FUNNY MAN

Morrissey once again returned to The Twitterdilly Arms last night, and no doubt historians will one day ask,  "what on earth was a genius like Morrissey doing, wasting endless hours online with a handful of fans?" My answer to those historians, would be to take a look at the likes of Robin Williams, or Tony Hancock, or Kenneth Williams, or Kurt Cobain, or Alexander McQueen, or Ernest Hemmingway, or Marilyn Monroe, or..... the list is endless.

One of the most poignant things I have read this morning regarding Williams, is a tweeted conversation he had earlier this year with a fan. The fan (@edkurluk) had tweeted, "Thank you @robinwilliams for making me laugh so fucking hard. I needed that", to which Williams replied, "I needed your tweet. Thank you!".



If Robin Williams had created his own MorrisseysWorld, although not called MorrisseysWorld, obviously, then he may well have found the oxygen he needed to keep breathing. When Morrissey is on stage, he has oxygen in abundance; it is fed to him by adoring fans, but when away from the stage and the adulation, there is just loneliness, and this is where life becomes a challenge.

Morrissey's interaction with us few in MorrisseysWorld is probably a greater tonic for him than either he or we could ever realise, or for him to ever admit. By creating MorrisseysWorld, Morrissey may well have helped save his own life, and we dreary deluded dozen might just be playing our part in his survival. Likewise, Morrissey continues to save our lives too. God, I'm good!



Here are Morrissey's highlights from yesterday's visit:

In response to @BlueRoseSociety asking, "@stillMozsworld Will you be inviting your fans to bring you blue roses on the next tour?": "I thought this would go without saying."

In response to @BlueRoseSociety tweeting, "@stillMozsworld There are 1,113 people following @BlueRoseSociety, so if they all bring you a blue rose, your concerts will be in bloom": "I could possibly drown in blue roses. Much better than drowning in self pity. Or vinegar."

ME: "Do you write a diary entry every day? What sort of things do you write; observations on life, or simply events of the day?"

MOZ: "Suicide notes."

(And if anybody is wondering, NO, the news of Robin Williams death had NOT broken at this point in time.)

ME: "I might've known I would get a response like that. Will you allow your diaries to be published upon your death?"

MOZ: "They will be buried with me. Along with the truth."

ME: "Nooooo! You owe to to history to leave your diaries. I implore you to reconsider."

MOZ: "2014 will be a massive question mark"

ME: "Written in crayon?"

MOZ: "How else do you want me to write it? With a fountain pen?"

ME: "DO you use a fountain pen? PLEASE give me an insight into your diary writing, I'm genuinely VERY interested."

MOZ: "I will never use a pencil because what if I do die and somebody finds them and erases what I have written and praises Joyce?


THE JOYCE GOAT - HIS TREACHERY IS WRITTEN ABOUT IN PERMANENT INK

In response to @IngeKersten1980 tweeting @stillMozsworld The diaries will be needed for 'Morrissey the movie'": "A box office flop."

In response to @mozzamad tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I highly doubt this is Morrissey's account": "People will believe whatever they want to. I cannot change their mind. I am here if you wish to talk."

"Je suis Morrissey"




As I have previously written, @stillMozsworld is NOT pretending to be a parody Mozzer, i.e. Our Mozzer (OM), but is openly being Morrissey. Many people are finding it hard to grasp this, although their confusion is understandable, particularly as @stillMozsworld uses the MW photo as his profile picture, and has the twitter handle of 'Still Moz's World', but there is a VERY obvious difference in the tweets. The person currently interacting with us in the Twitterdilly Arms is an open and relaxed Morrissey, and NOT a 'Broken Morrissey', or a 'Parody Morrissey'.

Even the regulars like Heather and JG have gotten confused, and yesterday they both left comment on my blog referring to @stillMozsworld as OM. This prompted OM, who deludedly calls himself 'Morrissey', to leave the following message on my blog:

I can assure you the individual on twitter is not Our Mozzer. I believe Broken has already told you as much.

Until you refrain from calling him OM, I shall never return.

Posted by Morrissey to Following The Mozziah at 11 August 2014 19:41

Back to yesterday's highlights:

The first tweet is in response to @geniussteals pointing out that the above comment had been left on FTM, and my subsequent explanation of it's meaning:

"Some times I forget who I am. I usually blame it on the gin."

In response to @mozzamad tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Starting to be convinced with the way the tweets are worded but still surprised your (sic... a VERY common sic) following Johnny": "People are surprised by the weirdest things. I once caught sight of my genitals and collapsed in shock."

In response to @mozzamad asking, "@stillMozsworld So what made you start using twitter?": "Somebody placed a gun to my head."

If my theory about Morrissey starting MorrisseysWorld is correct, then his joining twitter was actually himself removing the gun from his own hand!.... God, I'm VERY good!



Highlights Continued:

"Je Ne Suis Pas Morrissey" (*Tuts and rolls eyes*)

KRISTEEN YOUNG: "Friday, Aug 22 at Union Pool in Bklyn"

ME: "@KRISTEENYOUNG Come back to the UK, and make up with @stillMozsworld Life is too short."

MOZ: "@KRISTEEN YOUNG Please do not sneeze whilst you type or I may ask you to leave the internet."

KY - MID SNEEZE

"Personality crisis."

In response to @Jazissey tweeting, "Boredom makes one question everything": "It will make you claw out your eyes. This is why I sing. I also sing because what else could I possibly do."

ME: "How far south will the UK tour be going?"

MOZ: "You'll see. TTY."

INGE: "When?"

MOZ: "November/December. Or at least this was the plan before Harvest pulled the plug."

ME: "Do you not self fund your tours?"

MOZ: "When there is no label. So yes for the past 30 years."

ME: "Lol. EXACTLY, so it's onwards and upwards then... or more like round and round."

MOZ: "As my "good" friend Pete Burns said.. I'm sure you know what he said."

ME: "Can he still speak with those lips?"

MOZ: "He mumbles a lot. But all I see is the murder around his shoulders."

PETE BURNS - A MUMBLER WITH A TASTE FOR MURDER

KERRY RICHARDS (@AmIMoving2Fast) "I'm really pleased you will tour again, but I do worry about your health."

MOZ: "I worry that you will leave within one song. This year I am locking all the exits."

KERRY: "NEVER!! I'll be locking all the backstage exits to stop you from leaving."

MOZ: "You may regret this when I begin with a cover of One Direction."

KERRY: "Hmmm, but maybe that cover would get to no.1 if released? Worth a punt?"

MOZ: "Could you imagine the criticism. Although if @Harry_Styles wishes to cover Suedehead I would be honoured."

KERRY: "I think Harry should cover hairdresser on fire- his needs burning."

MOZ: "Now now. Let us all remember Little Man, What Now. Harry darling, save your money."

KERRY: "Moz and Harry 2 piece?"

MOZ: "I am more than willing. I will teach him to dance."

KERRY: "And sing?"

MOZ: "Is what I do singing? Some may debate that."

ME: "I like Harry Styles. He looks like he doesn't care. He won't fade away, he's the only one who will have longevity."

MOZ: "Well once we release our covers album he will be remembered forever. The man who ended my career.... much to everyone's delight."




MOZ: "Perhaps I will enter the stage and say 'You light up my world' instead of singing a song."

ME: "I was there when you announced "Welcome to my world"... but only @kittyempire noticed, and she didn't follow up."

MOZ: "And the Palladium fell silent."

ME: "Nobody knew what it meant. I only found out later."

MOZ: "I knew. Is that not enough?"

ME: "I'm sure it made you smile... just as "toothbrush" made my jaw drop."

If Morrissey were to walk out on stage at one of his next concerts and announce "You light up my world", I think I might just wet myself laughing. For anybody who may be new to the phenomenal MorrisseysWorld story, let me explain the HUGE significance of "Welcome to my World" and "toothbrush". On the original MorrisseysWorld blog, on August 3rd 2011, Our Mozzer wrote a parody article in which Morrissey and Boz Boorer reviewed Justin Bieber's live DVD, 'Never Say Never'. In Bieber's concert footage, he uses the words, 'Welcome to my World".

Five days later, Morrissey walked out onto the stage at the London Palladium and his very first words to the audience were, "Welcome to my World". Even as I type this now, it STILL amazes me how NOBODY put the two together. It's INCREDIBLE, just INCREDIBLE. The "toothbrush" reference is even more personal to me. On Wednesday January 9th 2013, the day after I had written on my blog how I had lost my toothbrush whilst in New York, Morrissey walked out on stage, and as I stood there watching, he said, "I've been looking for someone to share my toothbrush with, which is why I came here. All in vain." ...... And people say that I make this all up!


AUG 8TH 2011 - MORRISSEY ANNOUNCES, "WELCOME TO MY WORLD" TO AN AUDIENCE WHO HAVE NO IDEA OF IT'S RELEVANCE



JAN 9TH 2013 - MORRISSEY ANNOUNCES, "I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO SHARE MY TOOTHBRUSH WITH" TO 1,999 PEOPLE  WHO HAVE NO IDEA OF IT'S RELEVANCE, AND ONE JAW DROPPING BLOGGER

There is more to report from yesterday, and I still haven't reported on Morrissey's Friday night visit to The Arms, but I have run out of time. I am off to play cricket, because unlike Robin Williams, I still have reasons to live, and playing cricket in August with my youngest son is one of them.

Morrissey's final words on twitter last night were, "As I climb into an empty bed. Enough said." For our sakes, let us hope not.

This week's Twitterdilly Arms Chart will be published tomorrow.


For Robin:

Morrissey made a return to Twitter yesterday evening with a brand new account, but was soon chased away by the same old haters who just REFUSE to believe in anything to do with MorrisseysWorld. Many of the haters once again took the easy option of pointing the finger of suspicion at ME, with even the likes of Willow (@Smashingblouse7), who was once a 'full on' member of the Blue Rose Society, mockingly tweeting to say, "Ratty is hearing voices again."

Another tweeter called @Sean_Classic (formerly @Tony_Lemesmer who has been mentioned a few times before on FTM) also laid into me saying, "Rat loves talking to himself whilst pretending to be Morrissey, to sad people who actually believe it." He continued, "@TheRatsBack Each time you actually believe that the REAL Moz is actually on twitter & that there IS such a thing as the so-called "Blue Rose Society" you look stupider!" So, according to Sean, I am both pretending to be Morrissey, and stupid for believing that Morrissey is on twitter! HOW does that work? You couldn't make this up!


Here are Morrissey's (@stillMozsworld) highlights from his two hours on Twitter yesterday evening. He posted 37 tweets in total, and amassed 23 followers. I only discovered that Moz had returned to twitter because Astraea (@FadingGoldLeaf) retweeted the first few @stillmozsworld tweets, which gives the account far more authenticity than an official Twitter tick!:

"I see my album has limped down the charts. Dread Sheeran still tops it. Just who is buying THAT?"

(World Peace fell to Number 12 on Sunday's chart)

"I appear to have as many people following me as bought my latest album. Forever rejected."

In response to @Sean_Classic tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Start working with decent composers then  & not a composer as bad as Dread Sheeran called Jesse Tobias!!!": "And what would YOU know?"

In response to @Sean_Classic tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I know that Jesse Tobias is the worst composer & guitarist that's ever been": "You've clearly never heard Electronic."

In response to @tabootlb tweeting, "@stillMozsworld I bought the deluxe album": "The delux is all you need. My 'favourite' track is on the deluxe."

"@edsheeran You are an odious oaf"

In response to @MozzeriansATW asking, "@stillMozsworld Why a new account?": "The old one had dragged me down. Plus I realised Boy George was tweeting me. This is a stain on my name."

"I run the risk of being a forgotten human. Do you even remember who I am?"

In response to @caterita2008 tweeting, "@stillMozsworld Surely not a post man": "The only thing I deliver is grief."

"Twitter recommends I follow the MET police? Do they know nothing about me? Plus my guess is the MET are already following me."

"I have missed your faces. Something tells me I will see them again soon."

In response to me asking, "@stillMozsworld How soon? Will November spawn a World Peace tour?": "January. My dear Rat. A single first. If Harvest can summon the intelligence."

In response to me asking, "@stillMozsworld A NEW song? A PROPER promoted single?": "Promoted all over Universities."

In response to me saying, "@stillMozsworld Especially the German colleges": "I will need to brush up on my Nietzsche. Tonight I am nothing like Ubermensch."

"Does the Blue Rose Society exists anymore? Or has it been cast aside like my new LP."

"I make people wish they were dead just by existing"

"I am totally exhausted from life. I bid you farewell."

"I am not a man. I won't play the role assigned to me."

"Men are great repressors. Of women and animals."

At this point, worn down by a continued attack by @Sean_Classic, Morrissey took his leave and closed the account, tweeting the following:

"@Sean_Classic Good Riddance to False Friends"

"I am sorry. My re-appearance appears to have brought out the worst in people."

The hatred continued this morning on twitter, with @RFerdenzi, @Sean_Classic, @SusieSue132 and @Jake_cfc all laying into me, accusing me of being a liar and a fantasist. Ferdenzi tweeted, "@Sean_Classic Don't worry, this is NOT Morrissey! We all know who it really is." Ferdenzi also informed @SusieSue132, "We all know who's behind all of these fake Morrissey accounts!"

Because I have followed and documented the whole phenomenal MorrisseysWorld journey, people have become confused, and in their confusion they have decided that I must be the person behind MorrisseysWorld. If I had never started writing FollowingTheMozziah, I believe that MW would have taken a completely different course, and by now it may well have been HUGE. I am hampering MorrisseysWorld, so it is time for me to step away. I shall continue to write my observations on this blog, but I will no longer make my observations public. I am NOT a part of the story, I am just recording events. Perhaps when a January tour is announced, the likes of Willow, Denzi and Classic Sean will realise they were wrong, but I expect they will just add it to that ever growing list of coincidences.

Goodbye to the public, hello to my own private world.

TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 30 (NOT BROADCAST IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS AS ONCE AGAIN NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ARRIVED AT THE USUAL TIME)

1. I'M NOT A MAN - MORRISSEY (UP 3): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2oAyMhFheo

2. SMILER WITH KNIFE - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGbv8JR8x0s&feature=youtu.be

3. NEAL CASSADY DROPS DEAD - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1ToWK5n8Zk

4. ART-HOUNDS - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-DWzgZIUcw

5. OBOE CONCERTO - MORRISSEY (DOWN 4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Ej_71ydZs

6. KISS ME A LOT - MORRISSEY (DOWN 4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6zaCKz1r2U

7. STAIRCASE AT THE UNIVERSITY - MORRISSEY (DOWN 4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_Sa74o6j3Q

8. THE BULLFIGHTER DIES (LIVE IN SANTA ANA 2014)- MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tGRYTGGtUI

9. BALLADE DE MELODY NELSON - SERGE GAINSBOURG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIDuE4U_fZg

10. ONE OF OUR OWN (WITH VIDEO FROM THE BLOOD OF A POET) - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE ): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLNl6Qn-LWc

11. KICK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE (LIVE IN BOSTON) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfYLV_mTbls

12. FORGIVE SOMEONE - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka7Ocldto2U

12. MOUNTJOY - MORRISSEY (DOWN 5): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H7mXyRYng

13. EARTH IS THE LONELIEST PLANET (LIVE IN ALBUQUERQUE 2014) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imbEN8hqfdQ

14. RUBBER RING (LIVE 2004) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMksTu-cXzs

15. TAKE MY HAND FOR A WHILE - FRANÇOISE HARDY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IPn05MYURQ

16. DRAG THE RIVER - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm97uQSpRDI&feature=youtu.be

17. PAINT A VULGAR PICTURE (LIVE IN SWEDEN 1997) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzCaT7smDBI

18. SCANDINAVIA - MORRISSEY (DOWN 12): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuyYV_BawxM&feature=youtu.be

19.  WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 10): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBCg28Pxc0Q&feature=youtu.be

20. YES, I AM BLIND (LIVE IN SANTA ANA 2014) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sTDWGqBdfo

21. JULIE IN THE WEEDS - MORRISSEY (DOWN 10): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IztcOrlIU8g

22. ISTANBUL - MORRISSEY (DOWN 8):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWn5iqSdJUs&feature=youtu.be

23. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE IN MIAMI 2014) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfB9snjudt4

24. COME BACK TO CAMDEN (LIVE IN LONDON 2011) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2Ne547qyVU&feature=youtu.be

25. I KNOW IT'S OVER (LIVE IN LONDON 2011) - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwWHJeLT3q0&feature=youtu.be

26. FRIDAY MOURNING - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0CUeID84BE

27. PEARL OF A GIRL (LIVE ON THE LATE LATE SHOW) - KRISTEEN YOUNG (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7OyzUVxsQo

28. AND LIGHT SHINES - DAVID LYNCH (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aJObyhNCoM&feature=youtu.be

29. I'M WAITING HERE - DAVID LYNCH & LYKKE LI (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SpG7C4vHZQ&feature=youtu.be

30. ANGEL STAR - CHRYSTA BELL & DAVID LYNCH (NEW ENTRY):: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgY637KOBQ4&feature=youtu.be


Astraea posted this excellent comment to my last blog entry. Her observation on Richard and Judy Madeley is spot on:

Richard's auxiliary problem is that he is another one of exactly what this world doesn't need any more of – an insipid man. His primary problem, is of course, that grating old battle-axe Judy. A grating battle-axe wearing a 40DDD cup, a smile, and with Chardonnay for blood is still... an incredibly grating old battle-axe, in a typically predictable disguise.

This couple must have prompted the need for the invention of the phrase 'ball and chain'. And to think that people aspire to be like them, and to have their relationship. No wonder this world is on a fast track to hell.

Listen to them speak and and flubber for five minutes, and watch and listen as your own brain cells instantly fizzle away, never to be found or revived again. Thank you, but no.

Best to take MW as tonic instead. Along with some aromatic bitters, the body will be strengthened, the psyche awoken, and the humour fortified.

It's a wild, WILD world out there.

As for the one-liners being as funny as the main dialogue –

'As this fatal thought emerges, he feels a sense of anguish deep within his Barrett's oesophagus'

L O L

Like I said before – it’s a wild, wild world.

You have to grab your coat, thrust your hands deep into your pockets, face the blustery oncoming wind, and simply heave forth.
Posted by Astraea to Following The Mozziah at 26 July 2014 20:43