Following The Mozziah

I continue to write in 'Private Mode' whilst in exile. It surely can't be too much longer before Our Mozzer realises how much he misses me, and calls for my return... or not, as the case may be.

The reason that I continue to write is that; despite Our Mozzer (@BRSChairman) announcing two weeks ago today that our journey was over, he, along with Broken (@broken1andonly) and Dawn Mist (@slighdawnmist), continues to appear in The Wrong Arms (a make belief internet pub frequented by a deluded dozen or so Morrissey fans on Twitter). Here are the highlights of the past few days:

SATURDAY 20TH -
BROKEN: "The queen remains dead"

MONDAY 22ND -
Broken posted a picture of the Scottish flag followed by, "December". Our Mozzer did something similar to this in May, when he tweeted a picture of the Australian flag; which in July turned into the announcement of tour dates. No one made anything of that May tweet, and if Scottish dates get announced for December, no one will make anything of Broken's tweet... but here I am, keeping record, and perhaps one day in the future, people will read this little blog of mine and go, "WOW!"

When @mancladmozfan replied to Broken to say that it can be quite cold in Scotland in December, Broken responded with, "as cold as the Manchester audience? I don't think so."

[IMG]

MANCHESTER AUDIENCE LAST SATURDAY - COLD

When @girlwithout sarcastically asked, "Scottish flag and December. What can it mean?", Broken replied, "There is no time to be cryptic. Our time is running out."WHAT can that mean?

TODAY
OUR MOZZER (4.45pm Tel Aviv time - 2.45pm UK): "The mayor of Manchester makes his return and the silence was palpable. Why do I even bother?" The tweet brought no responses, which probably makes him wonder why OM bothers either!

I won't bother reporting Dawn Mists's tweets, apart from one yesterday to @GlamCityRocker which said, "Twitter is my escapism. Without twitter I simply would not exist at all."

In other news, Dave Simpson has reported in The Guardian that Morrissey's plaster was blood soaked on Saturday in Manchester, which just isn't true. Simpson's whole report is mixed up, with him saying that the plaster came off during Speedway, and that Moz pulled his jacket lapels together to hide the blood. The plaster actually came off during Istanbul, and Morrissey had been pulling his lapels together throughout the song, as he often does. Simpson is a twat. More Guardian lies, but that is what we have come to expect from this rag of a paper. Sean Stanley writes a far more accurate piece for the Independent, calling Morrissey one of the greatest; although Stanley does make the mistake of calling Morrissey a performer. Only seals...

Oh, if only the MorrisseysWorld blog was still around, I'm sure Our Mozzer would have written a great parody piece about this. How I miss the MW parodies.

I have decided to come out of exile, and go back to publishing my blog in 'Public Mode'. The only reason I entered exile and started writing in 'Private Mode' was because on Tuesday 9th August, Our Mozzer told me to "migrate to a grave" and announced that it was all over... and yet the wheels keep rolling, and signs continue to be given. MorrisseysWorld is still happening, and what is more, the hardcore members of the Blue Rose Society just don't seem ready to give up on their mission to take roses for Morrissey; with Vulgar Angie, Jaz and even laid back comrade herpes all stating that they will be taking blue roses to upcoming concerts. Vulgar Angie has also been reminiscing in The Wrong Arms about the time Morrissey accepted her bunch of blue roses in San Diego in 2013. As to whether or not Morrissey wants the Blue Rose Society that he formed to keep going, we shall have to wait and see. The song New Rose by The Damned has apparently been added to the pre-concert montage - is this a sign?

Last night Morrissey took to the stage in Tel Aviv; the place where he was given the key to the city whilst sporting a blue rose tie in July 2012... FOUR YEARS AGO!!! Where has the time gone?
Morrissey once again wore a large plaster on his chest last night, but also had a plaster on his finger, which instantly reminded BRS members of a MorrisseysWorld article from October 6th 2011, in which Our Mozzer wrote, "Consider leaving plaster on finger long after healing or alternatively wearing cosmetic finger plaster to emphasise personal suffering on my journey". Whilst others are wondering if Morrissey has hurt his finger, we KNOW what is really going on.

[IMG]

FINGER PLASTER IN TEL AVIV - PERSONAL SUFFERING

CHEST PLASTER

Following on from singing The World is Full of Crashing Bores last night, Morrissey explained a lyric from Suedehead, telling the audience, "while I'm on the very dull subject of correcting certain things, in the song Suedehead there is the line, 'it was a good lay, it was a good lay, it was a good lay', people titter like that because they think it's S-E-X, but a good lai was originally a beautiful poem, and I'm afraid in Suedehead, that's what I meant." So there we have it!

Tonight, Morrissey and his band will play the jaw dropping ancient Roman amphitheater in Israel's Caesarea. I meanwhile shall wait to see if I am welcomed from my return from exile. If Our Mozzer, Broken or Dawn Mist ask me to leave, then I shall leave for good. I'm not really sure what I did to upset The Mozfather, but unlike a certain other Morrissey fan site owner, I have no bitterness towards The Mozziah, and instead of turning on him, I continue to worship at the alter....although not in The Wrong Arms if he bans me.

*Goes off singing* Oh yes, you can kick me, and you can punch me, and you can break my face but you won't change the way I feel... 'cause I love you.

*Changes song* And now I know how David Tseng felt, as the flames rose to his pug shaped nose and his Star Wars figures started to melt.

Morrissey's mini tour of Europe and Israel came to an end in Caesarea on Wednesday night at the stunning Roman Amphitheatre, and there were a few pleasant surprises in the set.

Instead of opening with Suedehead; as has been the tradition, Morrissey kicked off with You're the One For Me, Fatty, followed by Bigmouth Strikes Again and then First of the Gang To Die. My vanity immediately made me wonder if Fatty and Bigmouth were added due to my blog returning, but having listened to YTOFM,F all the way through, there are certainly no 'Ratty's'; just like there were probably none that time in Rio, so I can make no such claim. What is more, despite Dawn Mist telling me that I speak too much, and me ending my blog entry of Wednesday by singing Bigmouth, I really can't claim that Bigmouth Strikes Again was played for me either, and therefore conclude that it's appearance in the set was nothing other than a genuine coincidence - in fact, it's appearance is just as likely to have been triggered by the headline in Wednesday's Jerusalem post that accompanied Sarah Levi's review of the concert in Tel Aviv.

From the footage that I have seen, the concert in Caesarea looked incredible. Bigmouth brought a lyric change of "and her breastplate started to melt", and the song was certainly well received by the audience; with even the front row leaping around full of passion, which you don't see from the poseur front rows in Europe and the USA.

Interestingly, the image of Renée Jeanne Falconetti playing Joan of Arc; that is set to be used on the WPINOYB re-issue, wasn't used as a backdrop during Bigmouth.

Image result for passion joan arc

And whilst on the subject of that Joan of Arc image, I have been racking my brain to try and think who it reminds me of, and it has come to me - Lol - played by the wonderful Vicky McClure - from Shane Meadows's brilliant drama, This is England.
Image result for lol this is england

The undoubted highlight of Wednesday's show was another surprise song, All The Lazy Dykes. I've said it before, and I will say it again, WHAT A SONG!

Despite the various plasters being worn on the 8 date, 19 day tour, there were no cancellations. There were also no blue roses accepted, but that was mainly because only a couple of us offered them, and NO ONE even attempted to get on stage with one. I had a really good opportunity in Bergen when Morrissey arrived on stage for the encore dressed in a jacket with a top pocket and said, "get on with it", but I bottled it. I am kicking myself for not at least attempting to get on stage, and others should be kicking themselves too. The European members of the BRS have failed Morrissey, so now we look to America.

The next leg of the tour will see Morrissey play 26 dates in 7 different countries over a 2 month period. It starts on September 17th in Chicago and concludes in El Paso on November 23rd. And then onto Scotland?

At 11.15pm lat night, Our Mozzer, Broken and Dawn Mist all entered The Wrong Arms. It may have been that they had just arrived back home and were popping in to catch last orders, but if they had, then they were in no mood for chit chat, and they didn't appear very jolly. They stayed just long enough to post one tweet each:

BROKEN: "Money and love are not the same"

DAWN MIST: "I find the "love" of the pretend excruciating. Pass me the sick bucket. The reviews... abysmal!"

OUR MOZZER/BRS CHAIRMAN: "Perhaps if I had killed myself like Ian Curtis then my legacy would have been secured after Meat is Murder."

Image result for morrissey 1985

I think OM could well be right about the legacy thing, but if Moz had checked out in 1985, the world would then never have had songs such as I Know It's Over, Death of a Disco Dancer, Everyday is Like Sunday, Trouble Loves Me, All the Lazy Dykes, Life is a Pigsty, Ganglord or WPINOYB. Morrissey's legacy will come in good time, and with a far greater body of work to be remembered by than that of Ian 'One song' Curtis.

Broken made another visit to The Arms earlier this afternoon, merely to answer a question MerryAnne had asked him about concert reviews. He cuttingly said of her review of Berlin, "I'd rather read the court documents from the Joyce trial."He really can be quite brutal... but hilarious with it.

That's all for today. I haven't been asked to migrate to a grave again yet, so for now, I'll hang around. Where does the story go next? The fact that OM is still using the twitter name BRS Chairman tends to suggest that the Blue Rose Society DOES continue to live on, so will one of the US members of the BRS get a blue rose to Morrissey, and if so, will he then wear it, making it FIVE calendar years in a row? Time, as ever...

Lighthouse keeping tweeter, Dawn Mist (@slightdawnmist), spent yesterday evening in the public bar of The Wrong Arms, interacting with a number of her 34 followers and playing the jukebox.

Dawn arrived at 5.30pm (UK time) and immediately headed to the jukebox, playing Prince's cover version of Creep and Joan Jett's cover of Personality Crisis. Dawn later played No More 'I Love You's' by Annie Lennox.

When I tweeted to Dawn that Creep was one of my favourite songs of all time, she replied, "One of your favourite songs of all time? Tut Tut. Like a dagger to my heart". As to why some scatty old lighthouse keeper would be so upset at me liking a Radiohead song, I have no idea. I suggested to Dawn that she cover it, to which she replied, "It'll be on the b side to Boredom Is A Plague." (Ed - for those who haven't been reading this blog of mine from the very beginning, Bordeom Is A Plague is a fictitious(?) song title that has been mentioned a number of times during the MorrisseysWorld journey.

I responded to Dawn's tweet about Boredom being a future b side by saying, "Oh good, that means it's a vinyl release", to which Dawn came back with, "Now, now. Don't get too carried away. I presume even a cover of 'Creep' wouldn't chart." Dawn is mistaken of course, a Morrissey cover of Creep would DEFINITELY chart, especially in the Official UK Vinyl Singles Chart, where David Brent is currently Number 1 with the highly amusing song, Lady Gypsy. And on the subject of Brent, this week I went to the cinema to watch the Ricky Gervais/David Brent film, Life on the Road, which is absolutely hilarious. There is one song, Ooh La La, that for some reason reminds me of Boz Boorer's new song, El Camino Real. I shall say no more on the subject.

I hadn't previously heard Prince's version of Creep - which was performed at the Coachella Festival in 2008 - and although I wasn't instantly grabbed by it when Dawn put it on the jukebox, I have been playing it on repeat this morning, and I now absolutely love it. I was lucky enough to see Prince play live at his 3121 club in Las Vegas in 2007, and it he truly was an unbelievable live experience. Morrissey took the time to pay tribute to Prince last Saturday at his concert in Manchester saying, "In this year of the reaper, we would like to remember Victoria Wood, we would like to remember Caroline Aherne, we would like to remember Muhammad Ali, we would like to remember Prince; too soon, too soon, too soon."This was followed by the singing of Oboe Concerto.
Image result for prince blue rose singer

Image result for prince blue rose singer

Here are Dawn's highlights from her session in the bar:

"The New Dawn appears to be gathering momentum. A comment has been received."

This was obviously a reference to the, "new dawn for MW" which Dawn first told me about on August 8th. I replied by telling Dawn she was a tease, and I asked for a clue to help me find the website. She replied, "It really is right under your ratty nose" and added, "Some have managed to find from the clues already provided. No more. It's to grow organically like the original MW. No one is excluded." Heather pointed out that perhaps a TTY denial might help us find it, to which Dawn replied, "Well that barely worked last time. Maybe I have another trick up my SLEEVE."

"@sadglamour You may or may not have missed a recent cardigan. Keep your eyes peeled and your feet skipping."

If there really is a new MorrisseysWorld style website out there, then no doubt we will find in at some time, and then of course, I will have the dilemma as to whether to blog about it or not. I will probably resort to 'Private Mode' and see if this time around, the masses actually realise that it really IS Morrissey.

I ended my blog entry of yesterday with the Morrissey pessoa, Dawn Mist, saying that she may have a "trick up my SLEEVE" to bring the "New Dawn" website to the attention of Morrissey fans. This morning I awoke to find that the Solow website was abuzz with a supposed leaked'Rider' from Morrissey's 2016 tour, but having read it, it looks to me like a parody; especially as it reads, "2 Bunches of Nice Flowers (no roses) in nice vases". WHAT THE FUCK IS A "NICE" VASE? I have spent my whole life in ruins... because of vases that are "nice"!

Is this the "trick" that Dawn spoke of? It still doesn't help us find the new MorrisseysWorld!

There has also been another bizarre occurrence. Yesterday morning, at 11.08am UK time, a rather odd comment was left on my blog as follows:

"Ain't Nancy Sinatra tweeting godspeed an awful lot recently?

Godspeed.

Boz."

I haven't been following @NancySinatra on Twitter lately, and didn't give any thought to the comment, but this morning I awoke to see that Morrissey had posted a TTY piece to offer a "loving goodbye" to Nancy Sinatra's daughter's dog, Sunny.

I took a quick peak at Nancy Sinatra's twitter feed, and discovered that last night, at 9.52pm UK time, Nancy tweeted, "We've lost family member Sunny Erlinger. 'If love could have saved you you would have lived forever.' godspeed Sunny". A coincidence that someone had left a comment on my blog about Nancy tweeting godspeed, and then 11 hours later, Nancy tweeting "godspeed"? Nancy KNOWS, you know.

NANCY, MOZ AND SUNNY

Our Mozzer, Dawn and Broken all appeared in The Wrong Arms late last night, and again earlier this afternoon, but I don't have time to report their words now, as I am just about to go out to dinner with friends, and then onto the theatre to watch The Simon & Garfunkel Story. I shall return tomorrow.

Godspeed.

At 2.46pm this afternoon, a new MorrisseysWorld style blog arrived on the internet; it is called, MorrisseysWord.blogspot.com - a very subtle change from the original - there is no 'L' in place for me and my friends.... I'll get my coat. It's arrival has prompted me to take FTM back into 'Private Mode', solely because a number of people blamed my constant blogging as being the reason that MorrisseysWorld didn't take off five years ago. Personally, I don't believe MW would have been accepted by the masses anyway, but let us see if things develop differently this time around without me reporting everything publicly. At least I shouldn't be accused of being the one behind it all this time... what am I saying, of course I will!

The first entry on this new MW blog is entitled, A Very Quick Welcome From OM - Typed by Dawn, and has the following wording:

Welcome to the New Dawn *OM did not actually say this but sometimes it is hard to tell what he saying after a few bottles of the expensive stuff*

Whilst I am officially on a much needed holiday I thought it would be rather entertaining, to restart this old blog of mine. Entertaining for me, not for you. Now before you start your bellyaching and saying “why does he need a holiday, he only works two hours a night on tour”, let me just say that do you know the mental breakdown I suffer when I have to change the setlist?

Talking of mental breakdowns today on so-low I saw that the c**t T***g had gone to the trouble of typing out a fake technical rider. Dear god that man is beyond help. He missed off the Bolly and the Grey Goose for starters. It is an outrage that he doesn't feel that a man of my stature (seminal artiste/iconic singer/poet/independently wealthy political commentator), would request such mundane commodities. *OM walks away muttering something profound about sticky chest lingerie*

So we are back here again. Can we take so-low down?

And before you all ask, the b*****d tour diary is in production. Between that and playing Pokemon Go I am rather busy at the moment. I hope I don't burn myself out. But Riot Festival would be fine to cancel I suppose... Well it won't affect the old insurance and I will still get paid without having to reschedule.

Dawn's typing skills aren't up to much, as she missed out the word 'is' in the very first sentence. Bring back 'R'I say.

The new blog was brought to the world's attention by Our Mozzer, who has changed his Twitter name. He is no longer BRSChairman (@BRSChairman), he has become OM (@SeminalArtiste).

Here are OM's recent tweets:

SUNDAY 4.11pm: "Another denial you say?" - Does this tweet mean that we are set to see a TTY denial about Morrissey having "no connection" with the new MW blog, or perhaps a denial about the 'Tour Rider' being real? Will there even be a denial at all, or is OM just toying with us? He was certainly just toying with us with those tweets from Dawn Mist suggesting that the new site was already up and running, and that some had already found it, and it was right under my "ratty nose". Lying blogger!

SUNDAY 5.26pm: "Lonely is personal terrorism."

5.35pm: "The loneliness of the long distance stunner"

MONDAY 3.03pm: "There is something profound out there. That is my final word."

OM's only other recent tweet of note came in the early hours of Sunday, and was in response to the fact that at Morrissey's recent concert in Manchester, Moz paid tribute to some of those who had died this year - as I reported in my blog entry of Day 1908 - but didn't mention David Bowie, which led to some fans accusing him of being petty, and the NME even using a headline to say he'd been labelled a cunt. Our Mozzer took to Twitter to clarify why he hadn't mentioned Bowie:

"You wish to know why I didn't mention Bowie? It's because Bowie had been living off his legend for far too long."It would seem that as far as Moz is concerned, the legend burned out long before the candle, and when you take a close look at Bowie's career; as I did back in January, Moz has a point - Bowie didn't release anything that could be considered legendary past the age of about 32/33... although his deathbed album was a fairly clever way to check out.

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BOWIE AT 30 - IN THE FINAL KNOCKINGS OF HIS LEGENDARY YEARS

Here for the record, are Broken's latest tweets of note:

SUNDAY 12.28am: "This is no time for enigmatic otherness. So let me say just one more thing. Fuck you all."

1.30pm: "On behalf of everyone associated, you have all been terribly dull."

1.32pm: "Before I'm arrested for verbal murder allow me to say that it has been a terrible five years. Boredom is a plague."

5.09pm: "There are those who make their apparent pain into attention seeking. Those truly in pain keep it within themselves."

And here are Dawn Mist's tweets of note:

SATURDAY 11.23pm: "The mind wonders. The habit falls. The failure feels the pain and disappointment. I've taken it all."

11.52pm: "Tonight I watched. Today I watched. Tomorrow I will skip. Skip with shallow steps of unfounded glee. Welcome. To nothing. Vice."

SUNDAY 3.43pm: "The reissue, may or may not have new bonus material. Don't say I NEVER predict anything."

Dawn also posted the song, Somewhere Else by Razorlight.

Right then, let's see what happens next. OM currently has 292 Twitter followers, but his account is locked. Will there be a TTY denial regarding MorrisseysWord? If there is, will anyone have the brain capacity to work out this time around exactly what is going on? Time, as ever...

*Foot Note* - I pointed out the missing 'IS' to Dawn, and it has now been added.

Yesterday, due to the arrival of the new MorrisseysWord blog, I took FTM into 'Private Mode', but today I am taking it back into 'Public Mode', as I don't believe that the content on the new MW blog is being written by Morrissey.

A new article arrived today on the MW blog entitled, 'My Tour Diary 2016', but it is not only littered with grammatical errors, it is nowhere near the standard of writing that we are used to from Our Mozzer. It's as though Kerry 'the cocktail' Messenger has written it... perhaps she has. There are sentences such as the following:

"I retired to my room only venturing out once all week, mainly due to the constant drizzle, but the threat of bumping into any audience members is always apparent, but much worse still, my Norwegian fan base which I have always avoided."No semi colons being used, and the word 'but' appearing twice in one sentence. Dreadful.

There is also this:

"The old acid reflux has suffered from this too. So I was forced to borrow a loose fitting shirt off Boz, much to my shame."Starting a sentence with "so" and using the word "off" instead of "from" are schoolboy/girl errors. If Morrissey were dead, he would be turning in his grave.
Image result for morrissey head in hands

Image result for morrissey head in hands

I beckoned Dawn Mist into the toilets of The Wrong Arms to point out all the errors and she had this to say:

"I know you have nothing better to do but my lighthouse and I do not care over these things. You are lucky to get a thing. One more petulant outburst like this and we will end it. You will have to go back to your fat wife and dreadful children."

I immediately pointed out that Mrs Whiskers doesn't have an ounce of fat on her... I didn't bother trying to defend the dreadful children.

A few of the regular MorrisseysWorlders also took to the loos of The Arms to discuss this new MW blog article, and they too are confused by the lumpy clumsiness of it all.

My only conclusion is that the article was written by someone else in the Morrissey camp. Damon? Jesse? Boz? Rustle Bland? Wossy? Morrissey's mum? I guess we'll never know, but Mikey Bracewell is obviously no longer editing, and Dawn's secretarial skills aren't a patch on 'R's.... and the author of My Tour Diary 2016 is NOT Morrissey.

Mystery still surrounds the authorship of 'My Tour Diary 2016', with no explanation having come from the OM camp as to the lumpiness of it all.

As the new MorrisseysWord blog is being promoted by Our Mozzer (OM) himself on Twitter, it is definitely not the work of a fraudster, but similarly it is not of a high enough standard to have been the work of Morrissey.... although we are talking about a man who wrote both the classic, There is a Light That Never Goes Out and the not so classic, Oh Phoney, so perhaps we are witnessing the work of a parody writing genius at a low ebb.

There are certainly enough references in'My Tour Diary 2016' to link it to the original works of the MorrisseysWorld parodies; such as the mention of the tour tombola, and the inclusion of Solomon - which is an ongoing joke to suggest that Morrissey has no idea who is currently in the rhythm section of his band. There is also a very funny bit about getting Gustavo to the front so that Moz can, "rest my eyebrows", but there is also the misspelling of Stavanger, lots of poor punctuation, and the other bits and pieces that I mentioned yesterday; which incidentally, have now been corrected. It is all very confusing, but maybe it is supposed to be. Here for the record is the piece in it's entirety:

My Tour Diary 2016

4th - 6th August 2016

Oh Bergen, so much to answer for, and this is where all the pain started. Boz forgot the 'tour tombola', which forced us to carry on with the 2014-15 set list. Although this is a classic set which no-one can tire from, it would have been nice to dust off the old classics; who wouldn't die to hear Journalists who Lie? I myself was quite looking forward to playing Dear God Please Help Me, alas my kegs remain private. For now. *Note: I always thought Boz's weight gain was from him constantly carrying the 'tour tombola' on his front. I'm paying him too much if his frontal weight gain is down to beer and food.

The comments over at that so-low place were predicted by the tour crew several weeks in advance of the first show. Come to think of it some of the comments are verbatim what was said. I hope someone is not leaking information. They will have to be dealt with. Solomon are you listening?

I retired to my room only venturing out once all week, mainly due to the constant drizzle. But also the threat of bumping into any audience members is always apparent, much worse still is my Norwegian fan base, which I have always avoided.

During the 'dress rehearsal' of 5th August, I am met with the horror that none of my DvN zip-up classical shirts fit me. This is mainly due to me having consumed 4-5 Pina Coladas each day on my pre tour vacation in M**ritius. The old acid reflux has suffered from this too. So I was forced to borrow a loose fitting shirt from Boz, much to my shame. I casually threw on a cardigan which was quickly sourced from a Norwegian factory outlet store. And voilà, with a few jewellery tweaks l looked classically and effortlessly iconic.

7th - 8th August 2016

A new interview has worked its way onto the Internet from someone who was in awe of my very existence. Who can blame them really? But it's nice to know that Mozza has still got it.

Spent the morning watching the diving highlights of the Olympics. That Tom Daley does look a nice young man. I feel he would look very fetching as part of my entourage. But then again he does have quite defined abs and chiselled features. I'm not jealous of course, I mean have you seen Old Mozza's face and body recently? No, no, but I can't have him upstaging poor Gustavo, who is reluctant to come forward during Speedway these days, in case someone says something nasty about his gut. Stop being a cry baby Gus and get to the front so I can rest my eyebrows. *Note: Not sure if Tom Daley is a vegetarian, he does look like he enjoys a bit of meat on a Sunday. Doesn't he know he cannot be a crew member if he even looks at a piece of meat? Regrettably another dream falls and dies.

Stavenger apparently became a city in 1125, and judging by what I saw it has not been updated or renovated since then. Perhaps this is where Mike Joyce would feel at home? It is also one of the most populous parts of Norway which, of course, is no claim to fame as I only saw 4 stylish people in my whole stay, and one of them was Boz. Really we should not care how many people live in a city, but judge this city on the style of its inhabitants, therefore Manchester ceases to be a city but instead a giant industrial complex north of Watford.
The above was confirmed with the lacklustre audience, all with confused pale faces and stinking breath. What can be done?

Our Mozzer appeared in The Wrong Arms yesterday evening and announced, "The past. The past. The past. It has cheated the blood from my body."He reappeared three hours later to add, "Mystery still surrounds me. How many artists could survive this long with no real scandal?" How strange. Is a scandal from Morrissey's past just about to break?

And finally, with no connection whatsoever to Morrissey, having watched the Simon & Garfunkel Story at the theatre the other evening, I cannot stop listening to the excellent song, Richard Cory. Where would we be without genius song writers?

Our Mozzer, Broken and Dawn Mist all took to The Wrong Arms yesterday, but for two reasons I have decided to no longer document everything that they tweeted.

Firstly, I no longer have a feel for which words are actually Morrissey's from these so called pessoa accounts; Moz certainly cannot be the sole user of the Broken account, as that account has tweeted whilst Morrissey has been on stage, whilst the Dawn Mist account is littered with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, which is VERY unMoz like... unless of course it is intentional, but I somehow don't think so.

I am starting to think that the Dawn account could predominantly be the work of Damon, with perhaps Moz using it on occasion. I still have a hunch that Moz is mainly the person behind the straight talking Queen bitch, Broken, but maybe Damon plays the role too. It is, of course, all guess work.

Image result for morrissey damon

MOZ AND DAMON - PARTNERS IN CRIME?

The second reason that I am no longer going to document the tweets is because, in the main, they are nothing more than meaningless small talk - boredom is a plague. Yesterday for instance we had: the scattiness of being a lighthouse keeper (Dawn), the importance of cute boys, butter and steak (Broken), and howling at the moon at lost causes (OM). There is one tweet worth documenting, as it is a beautiful piece of poetry. In response to OM tweeting about howling at lost causes, Broken tweeted, "This is my final howl. This is my final growl. I no longer prowl. I'm throwing in the towel."You wouldn't get that from the likes of Robert Smith, I can tell you.

There were a couple of Dawn's tweets of yesterday that were relevant to the MW story. Firstly, Dawn tweeted, "The destruction will not last. I sense part 2 will be more of (sic) the manner one is accustomed too (sic). Scatty is quite amusing though; (sic) mind you."

Dawn also added, "There are also parts 3 & 4. I may publish them in draft too. Why bother redrafting with such little readership?"

Image result for female lighthouse keeper

Image result for female lighthouse keeper

Dawn has also paid a visit to my Twitter message box aka the toilets of The Wrong Arms. I asked her what was going, to which she replied, "I do not answer to you. But, but there has been many changes in the past 2 years."Another mystery.... and good comedic use of two 'buts' in a sentence.

Dawn also posted the following in my DM box, but I don't think it was meant for me, and I have no idea what it means: "I found all your confus. I found it hilarious. Where is it from? And who is it?"What the bloody hell is confus?

And finally, MerryAnne (MTearfull) took to the comments section of FTM yesterday to slag off MW; calling it "low quality work" and to also attack Broken and the other pessoa accounts by suggesting they are "missing wit". Dawn responded by writing, "Be gone, you are not what we are looking for.
MW was never meant to be uncomplicated and charming. It's a challenge. Many have found it provocative. Many have found it to be overabundant.
Your tirade is not welcome here.
Goodbye."

In response to this exchange, Kerry the Cocktail managed to remove herself from the bottle for a brief moment, and decided to try and give me a kicking for some reason, by telling me; rather illiterately it must be said, that last year a MW chatroom was set up by Maren (Orangey Chuck) on Our Mozzer's instruction, which OM and a couple of the BRS members used in secret without me knowing about it. Poor old Kerry, does she really think that she can hurt me with such a revelation? Of course Morrissey needs places away from me and my constant blogging - I can be a pain in the backside.What-is-more, Moz has cast me out on numerous occasions during this journey, but I learnt to live with his rejection quite a few years ago. The fact that he keeps allowing me back in is far more important.

Kerry needs to realise that this is not a competition, whilst MerryAnne needs to stop trying to make everything about her, and realise that the sole reason we are all here is because this is ALL about Morrissey. As OM and Broken have often informed us, our lives are meaningless and trivial, whilst Morrissey's life on the other hand is VERY important. This is history. Morrissey is a VERY rare breed indeed... a living genius, and we BRS members/MW observers are lucky enough to be witnessing part of that genius life close up.

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*Goes off singing* I've been stabbed in the back, so many many times, I don't have any skin, but that's just the way it goes.

With all the uncertainty and mystery that has surrounded MorrisseysWor(l)d lately, it was nice to welcome Mademoiselle Fifi back to The Wrong Arms on Friday afternoon.

Mlle Fifi always manages to bring a certain je ne sais quoi to proceedings, and as he played his favourite songs on the jukebox, it was reassuring to realise that he hadn't been tampered with... ooh er mrs.... or mademoiselle as the case may be.

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MADEMOISELLE FIFI

Mlle Fifi's songs of choice were: Tous Les Garçons, Oh Oh Cheri, Modern Style, Chez Les Ye-Ye, Brigitte Bardot and Mini Mini Mini.
Fifi also played a clip of Charles Aznavour in the film Les Dragueurs - a film released just a couple of weeks before Morrissey was born in 1959. Morrissey shares a birthday with Aznavour, which no doubt is one of the things that particularly drew Moz to him.... although there seems to have been no such draw to Katie Price!

I pointed out to Mlle Fifi that there had once been a cat of the same name, who was one of the three passengers on the first flight across the English Channel to take passengers. I posted a picture of the furry Mlle Fifi, perched on the shoulder of her pilot friend, John 'Captain Kitty' Moisant. I then added the similar photo of Morrissey with Fanny the Wonder Cat perched on his head.
Image result for mademoiselle fifi cat funeral

Image result for mademoiselle fifi cat funeral

The non fluffy Mlle Fifi responded to my two pictures with the hashtag Timeless, and also posted a picture of the said cat, dressed in black whilst attending the funeral Moisant, and tweeted, "Friday Mourning".

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I expressed to Mlle Fifi that the photo would make a great backdrop.... so she made it her profile picture! Not quite what I meant, but still.

Before leaving, Fifi asked, "Qui set Fifi?", to which I replied that I didn't know. The response to this was, "Neither do I".

Astra (@SoStarkSoHaunt) has also made some recent appearances in The Wrong Arms of late, but I am confused as to why Astra both follows and has retreated @sorry_semi, when Broken has been SO insistent that the semi-sorry sod is a fraud. It is all so inconsistent... not that anyone should expect anything to be straight forward when it comes to Morrissey.

I won't repeat all of Astra's tweets, but in one exchange with Broken on Thursday night, she tweeted, "You can join me. I'm starting a new Twitter app next week. And everyone who is tedious will be BANNED." Today I have noticed that the original Astra account, @FadingGoldLeaf has returned, although I have no idea as yet if this is really Astra or yet another tedious hoax from Kerry/Rob/Chucky Maren. I guess time might tell. The @AlfsButton account has also reappeared, but again, I have no idea if this is real or not.

Dawn Mist has tweeted over the weekend, but nothing of note, so I shan't report anything here.

Broken has posted a few tweets over the past few days, one of which particularly grabbed my attention, as he was responding to a tweet of his own from Aug 8th, in which he had stated that he is "a slave for the Scottish accent". On Friday afternoon he added to this, "this remains true". I tweeted to ponder, "Are we about to get an announcement about Scottish tour dates in December?" (as hinted by Broken on August 22nd), and suddenly Our Mozzer popped up to tweet, "Finalising the Scotland dates as we speak. Although we are not currently speaking. On another planet perhaps we are."OM's only other tweet came a couple of hours later.... "Sorrow".

Not Astra's Derrière took to the comments section of FTM yesterday afternoon to declare that she (@SoStarkSoHaunt) isn't Astra. Astra also took to the comments section at 2am this morning to post the following:

The Ode à Francoise was completely beguiling, of course. I could have written it myself.

Words are like cashmere. So easy to spin. I wrap my glittering web around anyone. I can wrap it around everyone.

But the cerebrum? Cuts through the heart's darkness to remind me, again and again

That I am ever alone

ASTRA

Hardy's love of stylish shades may have stemmed from her notorious shyness.

Hardy's love of stylish shades may have stemmed from her notorious shyness.

Longtime MorrisseysWorld 'observer', Jon ConMorrissey Theorist, also took to the comments section of FTM yesterday afternoon to declare that both Broken and OM were frauds.

OM (@SeminalArtist) took to Twitter late yesterday evening, changing his name to Crankfraud (the name given to Morrissey by the Solowers), and tweeted emojis of knives and the Union flag.

Half an hour after this, Alfs Button (@alfsbutton); who incidentally has changed his Twitter name to Morrissey, tweeted, "For the record, if anyone is keeping a record, @SeminalArtiste is a fraud and a terrible impersonation. it can only be the work of one man." I agree, it can only be the work of one man, but not necessarily the one man that Alf was trying to imply!

The Alf/Morrissey tweeter posted a number of other tweets, but as this person could be absolutely anyone, I won't bother repeating the tweets, and at any rate, it was all just small talk.

It could be that Morrissey has decided that it is time to 'change the guard'. If this Alf is Morrissey, he made it quite clear that I wasn't welcome the last time he was on the scene, so I think this is a good time for me to take a break, and return only if something earth shattering occurs.

I last wrote a blog entry 20 days ago, and if I'm honest, I had a feeling that I may not write another one again. I had become utterly confused by all the various twitter accounts that may or may not be Morrissey pessoas, and I was also still reeling from Our Mozzer directing me to my grave; as documented on Day 1891 'A traveller to the grave'. When the AlfsButton twitter account emerged, and immediately blocked me, I decided that my presence was no longer wanted, so I changed my twitter profile to read 'A traveller to the grave' and decided to exit The Wrong Arms, possibly for good. It also seemed to me that Morrissey had lost interest in the Blue Rose Society.

But last night in Brooklyn, on the last night of Morrissey's four date mini-tour of the USA, a glimmer of light appeared; actually, it was more than that, it was EARTH SHATTERING. Not only did the grave travelling song, How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel get sung, but as the show reached its climax, Morrissey headed over to longtime BRS member, Jesse (@Mozfiend), and purposefully reached to take her blue roses; which he then subsequently held directly in front of his face so that there could be NO mistaking what he was holding.

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MORRISSEY HOLDS JESSE'S BLUE ROSES IN BROOKLYN

By accepting Jesse's blue roses, Morrissey not only kept up the tradition of accepting at least one blue rose EVERY year since 2012, but has also showed that the Blue Rose Society that HE formed is alive and well. In the BRS, "you're never alone, you're never disconnected".

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THE BLUE ROSES LAY CENTRE STAGE, SURROUNDED BY RED ROSES WHICH SOMEONE KEPT THROWING THROUGHOUT THE EVENING

Today is a good day.

*Goes off singing*
Oh, I love my Rosie child
You got the way to make me happy
You and me we go in style
Brooklyn Rose,
You're a store bought woman
But you make me sing like a guitar hummin'
So hang on to me, girl
Our song keeps runnin' ooooon
Play it now, play it now
Play it now, my baby

Five years ago today, I wrote my first ever Following The Mozziah blog entry. Quite a bit has happened since then!

Today I have updated another of my blogs, the Blue Rose Society, which charts the story of Morrissey's formation of the Blue Rose Society. To celebrate my five years of FTM, here is a copy of what I have written on that blog:

MORRISSEY'S BLUE ROSE SOCIETY

On September 24th 2016, towards the end of his encore at the King's Theatre in Brooklyn, Morrissey made a beeline to one particular New Yorker - a longtime Morrissey fan called Jesse. Jesse was stood in the front row on the left side of the auditorium, and was holding a small posy of blue roses. Morrissey stretched his hand towards Jesse, took the blue roses and carried on singing, whilst holding the roses directly in front of his face.

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MORRISSEY HOLDS A POSY OF BLUE ROSES AT THE KING'S THEATRE IN BROOKLYN - SEPTEMBER 24 2016

The reason Jesse was holding blue roses, and the reason Morrissey made a purposeful beeline to her to take them; whilst ignoring the gladioli and all other flowers in the audience, is because five years ago Morrissey formed the Blue Rose Society (BRS), and it is tradition for those in the society to take blue roses to Morrissey's concerts, which he periodically, but not always, accepts - he sometimes even wears a rose once he's accepted it.

MORRISSEY WEARING A BLUE ROSE AT THE OBSERVATORY IN SANTA ANA - MAY 14 2014

Despite Morrissey accepting and wearing blue roses on a number of occasions over the past five years, his society has remained pretty much under the radar, with membership consisting of just a dozen or so fans worldwide.

The story behind Morrissey's formation of the BRS goes back to May 2011, when a blog site called MorrisseysWorld first appeared on the internet. The first that anyone knew of this blog site, was when Morrissey himself brought it to the attention of his fans, by mentioning itTHREE TIMES on his official website, True-To-You; although rather than tell fans that he was the author of MorrisseysWorld, Morrissey instead denied it was anything to do with him - well he would, wouldn't he!

Most of Morrissey's fans took the TTY denials at face value, and ignored the MorrisseysWorld site, thinking it was nothing more than the work of a wind-up merchant, but some fans had a hunch, and stuck with it. Although very few in numbers, the BRS was born.

Morrissey explained via MorrisseysWorld that he was forming the BRS in honour of his literary hero, Oscar Wilde; who not only had a theme of roses running through his work, but also had a society of his own called the GREEN CARNATION.

Morrissey's Blue Rose Society is a modern day equivalent to Oscar's Green Carnation, and the blue rose, just like the green carnation, is an unnatural flower that is often portrayed in literature as a symbol of unrequited love.

Having formed the BRS, Morrissey slowly went about giving signs at his concerts.

In May 2012, an Oscar Wilde backdrop appeared at Morrissey's concerts asking,"WHO IS MORRISSEY?" Morrissey was publicising the Blue Rose Society without anyone realising it.

On July 5th 2012, Morrissey's wikipedia entry was updated, to make reference to both the Blue Rose Society and Green Carnation, it read:

"The sign of this secret society is the blue rose; blue roses - as well as their other signs, the red and white rose - have been seen at many Morrissey concerts in 2011-2012 from the US to Colombia. The Blue Rose Society is seen by some as a reference to Oscar Wilde's green carnation-wearing followers."

That very evening, Morrissey appeared on stage in Liege, Belgium, wearing.... a green carnation. The next day, the wikipedia entry mysteriously disappeared.

Morrissey can be seen coming on stage wearing the green carnation in Liege in this video footage:

MORRISSEY WEARS A GREEN CARNATION IN LIEGE - JULY 5 2012

On July 21st 2012, Morrissey was awarded the 'Key to the City of Tel Aviv' . To receive the award, Morrissey wore a blue rose tie.

MORRISSEY SHOWS SUPPORT FOR THE BLUE ROSE SOCIETY WHICH HE FORMED, BY WEARING A GAUDY BLUE ROSE TIE - JULY 21 2012

On October 10th 2012, a BRS member named Brian took his eleven year old son Kyle to Morrissey's concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York. Kyle leapt onto the stage at the encore in an attempt to present Morrissey with a blue rose, but Morrissey couldn't reach it.... so he then made a special journey back to Kyle, to take the rose, which he then wore for the whole of the encore. The footage can be seen here:

KYLE LEAVES HOME WITH HIS BLUE ROSE...........

.....AND MORRISSEY PLACES IT IN HIS POCKET....................

.........WHERE IT REMAINED FOR THE WHOLE ENCORE IN NEW YORK

On January 8th 2013, another BRS member turned up at the David Letterman TV Show where Morrissey was due to sing. The show was sold out, so the BRS member asked Morrissey's tour manager, Donnie Knutson, if he could get him into the Letterman Show. Knutson replied, "No." Not to be perturb, the BRS member handed Knutson a blue rose, and asked him to give it to Morrissey, to see if the situation could be changed. Knutson disappeared, and after a short period of time, one of the theatre's crew appeared, and the BRS member was ushered in to see Morrissey via the stage door.

MORRISSEY'S TOUR MANAGER DONNIE KNUTSON WITH THE BLUE ROSE THAT MANAGED TO GET A BLUE ROSE MEMBER INTO A SOLD OUT TV SHOW

On March 1st 2013, Morrissey held a concert at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. During the concert, he handed his microphone to BRS member Angie Reyes, who was holding a bunch of blue roses. Angie said a few words and asked Morrissey to accept a blue rose ring, which he did.

ANGIE REYES WITH MORRISSEY'S FORMER SUPPORT ACT, KRISTEEN YOUNG AND THE BLUE ROSE RING

On March 2nd 2013, at the concert in Hollywood High School, Morrissey purposefully sought out another blue rose from a young Morrissey fan called Devan. This is shown clearly in the film, Morrissey 25:Live during the first song Alma Matters. Having taken the rose, Morrissey wore it in his pocket, before placing it on top of the drum, where it remained for the whole concert.

Morrissey's Blue Rose Society

MORRISSEY REACHES TO RECEIVE A BLUE ROSE AT HOLLYWOOD HIGH SCHOOL - MARCH 2 2013. AS SEEN ON FILM AND DVD HERE:

THE BLUE ROSE IN MORRISSEY'S RIGHT TROUSER POCKET

On May 8th 2014, on just the second date of a new tour, Morrissey yet again took a blue rose from a fan during the song Yes, I am Blind, and wore it for the whole concert:

On July 15th 2014, Morrissey's album, World Peace is None of Your Business was released. The album title has the words 'blue rose' hidden within it - a coincidence?

On July 18th 2015, at his concert in The Depot in Salt Lake City, Morrissey leant into the crowd once again to accept a blue rose; this time from BRS member, Jaz.

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MORRISSEY LEANS TO ACCEPT YET ANOTHER BLUE ROSE AT THE DEPOT IN SALT LAKE CITY - JULY 18 2015...

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... WHICH IS SUBSEQUENTLY WORN IN THE BACK RIGHT TROUSER POCKET

Morrissey has now accepted blue roses in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016.... and yet still the masses haven't cottoned on. Anyone can join the BRS, just take a blue rose to a concert, and see if you can get it to Morrissey.

Steven Morrissey spielt am Mittwoch (30.09.2015) in der Hugenottenhalle Neu-Isenburg.

The formation of the society and much, much more has been documented on the blog Following The Mozziah.

Where has the time gone?

This is my first blog entry in 77 days. Since my last offering back on September 27th, a number of things have happened relating to both the current world of Morrissey and his former world. From the former world, former writing partner and Smith, Johnny Marr has released his autobiography; which I have no interest in reading, and also former friend Pete 'Dead or Alive' Burns became a former, former friend aka Pete 'Dead not Alive' Burns. The celeb deaths just continue coming in 2016.

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JOHNNY MARR - BOOK WRITER
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DEAD AND ALIVE

In the current world of Morrissey, the tour continued, and BRS member, comrade herpes took a blue rose to a concert in Melbourne at the end of October. Unfortunately herpes was so excited to at last be at the front of the stage with blue rose in hand, that he prematurely off loaded after just two songs.

COMRADE HERPES - COULDN'T HOLD ON

BRS members Angie Reyes and Jaz also took blue roses to a concert in Santa Barbara on November 5th, but their roses were ignored by Moz. For some reason Angie didn't take a rose to the concert in Salt Lake City on November 12th, but even so, she was rewarded for her devotion with an 'arm signature' mid-concert, which she promptly had made into a tattoo.

The concert in SLC turned out to be the last one of the tour; as firstly Gustavo Manzur fell ill, and then the touring money dried up. Morrissey's age on the day of that last concert was 57 years and 174 days. Hopefully there will be plenty more concerts to come, but if not, Morrissey still managed to outlast David Bowie's performing days, as Bowie's final concert in Scheessel Germany on June 25th 2004 was at the age of 57 and 169 days.

There have been three reasons as to why I haven't continued with my blogging: 1) After 5 years I felt I should bring my 'Following the Mozziah' story to a close; particularly as it had taken over my life, 2) I had become increasingly confused as to which twitter accounts were Morrissey pessoas and which were impostors, and was therefore reluctant to blog about tweets that may well have been nothing whatsoever to do with Morrissey - Likewise, I also wasn't convinced that all the articles on the MorrisseysWord blog were the work of Morrissey himself, and therefore was reluctant to continue writing about those too and 3) Back in the Summer Morrissey shared with me some sad news that he asked me not to blog about, which last month I found out to be an outrageous lie, and left me thinking that this just wasn't the place for me anymore.

I now realise that: 1) It isn't up to me to bring to a close the story on Morrissey's secret life mingling with a handful of fans on the internet, so Following The Mozziah will continue as long as there is a Mozziah to follow - and my life will remain dedicated to it, 2) I am now fairly sure that both @AlfsButton and @SeminalArtiste aka @BRSChairman are both Morrissey pessoas, and if @SlightDawnMist isn't Morrissey himself, then it is probably his right hand man, Damon 'Kevin Philips' Anacreonte, and 3) Although he has stopped short of apologising to me about the outrageous lie, Morrissey has given me an explanation of sorts, which although I still find hard to accept, I do appreciate that Morrissey is not right in the head, but this is, after all, why....

So there we are, and here I am - Morrissey remains my God, and I continue to follow the Mozziah....but there is one slight problem. Yesterday, having published two very thought provoking new pieces on the MorrisseysWord blog about art and gender, Morrissey suddenly closed down the blog. He also shut down the two Moz twitter accounts, the Dawn Mist account, and even Broken's account. I feel that I may be to blame, because I had informed Our Mozzer that I wasn't going to report on the latest MW blog offerings - only because I felt that both he and other fans were sick and tired of my involvement. It seems that I can't do right for doing wrong.

So, is that all there is?

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All has been fairly quiet on the Morrissey front of late, but I am pleased to report that: A) Morrissey has returned to Twitter, B) He has lifted the ban on me blogging and C) He rather amusingly joined in the regular Friday night Moz Army Twitter quiz...which he didn't win! There is NO D).

If the winner of the quiz, Brian Forbes (@brianlforbes), had any idea that he had beaten Morrissey in a Morrissey quiz, it would probably make his life - it is certainly something to dine out on. Here is how the quiz; which was hosted by Ian Bradshaw (@Bradder68), shaped up:

Q1 In Morrissey's PoppyCocteau poem, in which city was he held up outside a nightclub by 2 sailors?

The answer was Liverpool, which a number of people got right - including Morrissey, funnily enough - but he was only the third quickest to answer, beaten by @NeilW70 and @brianlforbes.
Image result for poppycocteau

Q2 When Moz got (plastic) bottled off stage in Liverpool in 2009, he was only on his third song, What was it?

The answer was Black Cloud, which again Morrissey got right, but again he was only the third quickest, beaten by @NeilW70 and @MozFreak. Following Bradder's (the quizmaster) tweet announcing who had won the points, Morrissey tweeted, "Sometimes I wonder what I exist for. I cannot even type the answers to questions about me before someone else steals in."
Image result for morrissey liverpool bottle

Image result for morrissey liverpool bottle

Q3 Who was the Shoplifters single dedicated to?

The answer was Ruth Polski, and the points were awarded to @brianlforbes, @NeilW70 and @tonymerchison. I wasn't actually online at the time of the quiz, so I don't know what happened, but my Twitter timeline would shows that Morrissey not only answered this correctly, but was seemingly the first. He obviously felt robbed because he tweeted to Bradders, "I do believe I answered correctly on the deleted tweet.."Bradders didn't respond!
Image result for ian bradshaw stoke morrissey

Image result for ian bradshaw stoke morrissey

IAN 'BRADDERS' BRADSHAW - QUIZMASTER

Q4 "Fifth" Smith Craig Gannon and "nearly" Smith Ivor Perry were later in which band together?

Morrissey answered, "Easterhouse. Terrible name", but he was wrong; as were everyone else. Bradders then added: "It wasn't Perry's original band, but one he formed after they split."
Moz then answered, "The Cradle. Also a terrible name." This time he was right, but the points were awarded to @Banjaxer, @Thedoctorcream and @nigel4036. Morrissey responded to this lack of points by tweeting, "I do not care about ex-band member activity. Unless you are Joyce because I fund your activities."
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JOYCE - FUNDED

Q5 Which Eastenders actress appeared in The Boy Racer video? (Will accept either her actual name or character name)

The answer was Martine MCCutcheon or Tiffany. Morrissey answered, "Martine Kimberley Sherri Ponting", but scored 0 points, beaten by @brianlforbes, @charm972 and @tonymerchison.

It would appear that Morrissey didn't think much to Ms McCutcheon, as he posted two follow up tweets:

"Martine Mccutcheon is a stage name and a stupid one at that. Now where is my gin?

"She was a frightful bore as well. I despise the association."
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PONTING - FRIGHTFUL BORE

At this point in the proceedings Morrissey obviously became fed up with being beaten in a quiz about himself, as he tweeted: "Sod the rules. I am hosting my own quiz."

He followed this up with:

"Question 1) What Animal was Joyce depicted as in MW?"

Poor @TonyMerchison had no idea what was going on, and answered, "A Northern leech?" followed by, "Sorry, still trying to figure out what MW stands for. I'm very dim." Morrissey replied, "Malcontent Womble", but he was of course toying.

Monsieur Merchison (actually his name is Andy) isn't dim, it is just that he hasn't followed the events of the past 6 years, in which Morrissey had a blog called MorrisseysWorld - or MW as it is often shorten to. It was the MW blog that Morrissey 'officially' denied not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES via the True-To-You website having any association with - denials which Andy and all the other thousands of Morrissey fans took at face value and believed. THREE DENIALS! How un-Moz like...it was as though he was purposefully trying to draw attention to it. Doh!

Anyway, the MW blog is now long gone, so it doesn't really matter.....although here we are 6 years on, and Morrissey remains on Twitter, remains unseen by the masses, and even has a new blog site called True Morrissey, which once again Morrissey's thousands of adoring fans haven't realised is his work.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, Morrissey's Twitter quiz. The answer to his first question was; as the dreary deluded dozen who have followed the MW story for the past 6 years all know, A goat!
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THE JOYCE GOAT - AS FEATURED ON MW

It was at this point that I logged on to Twitter on Friday evening, and the first tweet I saw live from Moz was:

"Question 2) What size is my left foot?"

He didn't post an answer.

"Question 3) How much gin is too much gin?"

Again, no answer. I have never personally tried gin, so I don't know if there is a correct answer!

"Question 4) Just who is in my rhythm section?"

No answer given.

"Question 17) Where did I say I would play cricket with @TheRatsBack"

I knew this one - Shanklin village.

"Question 105) What do I daydream about most?"

Harrison (@OdysseyNumber5) answered, "Smacking Robert Smith in the kisser with a bouquet of gladioli?", to which M replied, "Just a bouquet of gladioli? I would hit him with every abortion of a song in his back catalogue. He'd be dead in seconds."

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SMITH - SINGER OF ABORTION SONGS...APPARENTLY

"Question 209) Is there anyone I hate more than Joyce?"

@TonyMerchison answered, "Judge Weeks?", to which Morrissey replied, "Without Joyce I would not know the name of that spineless coward. He saw a press headline and went forward. No regard to me."
Image result for judge john weeks sandwiches mozziah

Image result for judge john weeks sandwiches mozziah

JUDGE WEEKS - AS DEPICTED ON THE MW BLOG A FEW YEARS AGO - SPINELESS COWARD

Andy (@tonymerchison) then tweeted, "My apologies - I should have known better than to pick that particular scab. Forgive me.", to which Moz replied, "I am a forgiving soul. If Joyce wishes to give back all the money he has stolen from me over the years I will forgive him. Also he will need to return the scarf and jeans I gave him back in 1986. Never trust a Mike."

At this point, Moz returned momentarily to participate, sort of, in the Moz Army quiz:

Q6 What comes next in this sequence It's - Belligerent - Farewell - ??

Morrissey answered, "Leave it as it is. That's quite a snappy title. I just need a record label now."

Q7 Moz only played 2 UK gigs in 1997. One in Chester and the other at which London venue?"

Moz answered, "Clapham Common to the random man with his mute dog." The actual answer was Battersea Power Station, so he was close! Incidentally, I still have my unused ticket for this concert somewhere, but I can't for the life of me remember why I didn't go...oh yes, I remember now, I got married instead, and was in St Lucia on Honeymoon! A poor excuse, I know.
Image result for morrissey battersea power station

Image result for morrissey battersea power station

Q8 Excluding the Wolverhampton 88 concert, which was the first Smiths song that Moz performed live?

Morrissey answered, "Money Changes Everything. The Drummers personal national anthem." It was the wrong answer - Shoplifters being the correct one, but I don't think Morrissey was particularly bothered about the correct answers by this point, he was happily amusing himself.

Moz also continued with his own quiz, tweeting:

"I've lost count of the numbers. Shall I tell you who never loses count of numbers? Joyce."

"I improve with time. Even if you refuse to."

"Question 77) Stretford Baths and Chorlton Baths are now what?"

No answer was given, but from what I can make out via google, they are both leisure centres.

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CHORLTON BATHS

"Not a question but a statement. World Peace may be none of your business but it is my personal favourite album."

"Question - 12) How much was I offered to appear on Celebrity Big Brother last year?"

The answer was given as, "Just Rylan's Toenail clippings. More than the winner received. They only got his extensive library on teeth cleaning."

I wonder if M really was made an offer to appear.

Image result for rylan teeth

RYLAN CLARK - ALL TOENAILS AND TEETH

Mozzer brought his quiz, and his tweeting for the evening, to an end by tweeting, "There is no winner of my quiz. You all performed abysmally."followed by, "Take me to Houndsditch."and "I am Jackson Pollock".
Image result for houndsditch 1872

HOUNDSDITCH 1872

Morrissey's final tweet of the evening was, "Join me in chat". I had no idea where he meant us to go, so I asked, and he linked me to a chatroom that has been added to the bottom of the True Morrissey blog; which incidentally has had a new article posted, entitled The Un-Royals, which is basically a series on links to websites about the Royal family. I haven't bothered to read the links as I have no interest in the Battenbergs whatsoever.

Myself and Heather (@heathercat222) were the only two who took up Morrissey's invitation to join him for a chat, and we enjoyed a very entertaining and relaxing half hour in his company; mostly talking about nothingness. Moz did however reveal that he had spent the day watching old episodes of Shameless, and mentioned that he had been listening a lot lately to his Bowie duet, Cosmic Dancer. He also made an incredible revelation, which I am not allowed to blog about, but I think I now understand what M's tweet of last Monday means - here is the tweet:

"Contain your excitement at the next announcement. I fear a backlash. I steer towards a backtrack."

2017 looks like being a rather special year.

I awoke yesterday morning to find the following three tweets in my timeline from former BRS member, MerryAnne (@SadGlamour):

"I would like to die by the age of 40."
"I can't believe people still think that Chairman account (@seminalartiste) has anything to do with actual Morrissey"
"Anyone who knows anything about Moz would know he would never condone or contribute to bullying of fans. He is a sweet man."

The first tweet is an attention seeking lie; similar to many, many attention seeking tweets that MerryAnne constantly posts - which led to Morrissey to write the article False Victimhood on his True Morrissey blog last month - a piece I mentioned on Day 2026 of FTM. For those of us who have lost friends and family to suicide, seeing someone post false tweets about wanting to die irks to say the least, but the world is full of such attention seekers, and they can be ignored.

What irked me far more, was MerryAnne's second and third tweets, because they are misguided untruths, based on assumption. For the umpteenth time on this journey of ours, someone has decided that the online Morrissey can't possibly be the real Morrissey, because the online Morrissey has said something that they don't like, and which doesn't 'fit in' with that person's image of how they want Morrissey to be. MerryAnne's third tweet contains that classic line that we saw time and time again when MW first arrived on the scene, "Morrissey would never".

Image result for MORRISSEY

STEVEN 'WOULD NEVER' MORRISSEY

I have managed to ignore MerryAnne's attention seeking tweets in the past, and didn't bother to comment on her false claim that she wants to die by 40. I was also going to ignore her completely unfounded and false accusation about the online Morrissey being a bully, but when GOB (@GirlOnBike1102) tweeted to agree with MerryAnne - even though she admitted to not knowing what was going on - I could keep quiet no longer, and let them have it with both barrels. It wasn't long before Our Mozzer and Broken were joining in too.

In response to MerryAnne's tweet about not believing the online Mozzer to be the real Moz, Morrissey (@SeminalArtiste) tweeted:

"Oh but you did. You still do. It's not my fault you have an untrue picture of me. Start from the beginning and learn."

MerryAnne ought to read FTM from the beginning, because that would show her that we have been here before - her allay, GOB, knows that more than most having been involved in 'FagGate' three years ago.

OM added other tweets during the ensuing debate, including these:

"Ask Solomon just how sweet I am."

"I've never personally bullied anyone as I know how it feels. I have offered a guide to self improvement however."

Broken also threw in his two penneth worth - well he would, wouldn't he - tweeting:

"Twitter is not a self help book or the psychiatrists office. Miserablists of the world unite and get followers."

When MerryAnne tweeted that she worked in the mental health field, Broken replied:

"I cannot imagine you providing much comfort. You probably relate all problems back to yourself."

MerryAnne replied that the world judges those with mental illness, to which Broken came back with:

"Well if you are the measurement of judgement I can see why." - there is nothing better on Twitter than Broken at his cutting best!

Having got bored of the attention seeker, OM invited people to join him in the True Morrissey chatroom, which myself, EARS, Chuck, Jaz and a couple of anons did. There were no great revelations this time, but it is always pleasant to spend time in his company. I even got invited into a private chat room, where OM asked me if I had read any Burroughs. I told him that I no longer read books as my memory is so bad that as soon as I have finished a book, I have forgotten what I have read. He suggested that he would write an article on the subject - although I don't know if he meant memory loss or Burroughs. The truth is, I doubt he'll write about either!

Image result for william burroughs

BURROUGHS

So, there we have it. I wonder if MerryAnne really no longer believes OM to be Morrissey, or if she is just trying to convince herself it is so because the alternative doesn't bare thinking about? One thing that is for sure, MerryAnne certainly never took a blue rose to a concert out of a love for Moz, she took one to try and get herself noticed.

To finish off, here is the parody that followed FagGate, written by Broken and posted in the comments section of Day 868 on FTM - January 29th 2014:

A scene in a coffee shop.

Our Mozzer and Broken are having a cup of tea with Jjaz and JB. Broken is admiring Justin's latest owl tattoo and nodding safely as he explains its deeper meaning.

"Fag!" comes a voice as a middle aged woman cackles on the table across the café.

"Pardon?" asks Broken.

Silence.

"You just called me a fag-" says Broken. "Do you think that's very polite?"

"Prove she called you a fag!" says Chuck, sipping her latte with caramel.

"Prove it? She just said it!" says Broken.

"Prove it - I just want to see the proof, is all" says Chuck.

"But she did say it," says a tender voice; Heathercat is sitting with a pensive look and dewy eyes.

"Oh that doesn't sound like Sabine..." says Chuck. "Can I have some proof please?"

"You want me to prove Sabine called me a fag when your two friends heard her?" asks Broken.

"Stop bullying me!" shrieks Sabine, cowering under the table.

A plump man with a limp and a slightly ill-fitting t-shirt sashays up to the table. He speaks in a soft London accent and appears to be holding flyers for his latest film.

"I'm sorry, is this man bothering you?" asks the man.

"Yes!" screams Sabine. "What have I done? What?"

"You called me a fag!"

"Trouble maker," says the man.

"But..." says Broken.

"This witch-hunt has GOT to stop, besides you're not really real and the tree bark told me this morning that you're not even Morrissey."

Broken looks over to Jjaz who rolls her eyes. JB is rubbing his blue rose tattoo and Our Mozzer is jutting his jaw out and gazing out of the window.

Our Mozzer stands up.

"Is there a problem here?" He asks in a soft voice, grimacing and poking his tongue into his left cheek.

"Yes," says the man. "This c*** is harassing this woman and claiming she called him a fag!"

"But she did!" cries the whole table, except Sabine and Chuck.

"She wouldn't.... proof!" cries Chuck.

"She mocked my suicide attempt in 2011" adds Broken, looking quite serious.

"Non-existent people can't kill themselves" laughs the man, gazing down at his film-themed t-shirt and wondering what he can eat next.

"I didn't say that anyway!" shouts Sabine. "My son tweeted it!"

"Leave this woman alone, c***" shouts the man. "Here's my mobile, phone me, c***. If you dare, c***."

Our Mozzer licks his lips.

"I heard her say it, and I blocked her a few years ago for saying it, old son," says OM.

"But I didn't say it!" shrieks Sabine. "I wouldn't do something like that."

"You have said it and you've apologised for it," says Broken in a mellow voice. "There are witnesses."

"Look I've already apologised for that - stop raking up the past!" Sabine cries.

"Proof please!" shouts Chuck in floods of tears. "All I'm asking for is proof!"

"But your friends witnessed it - just ask them."

"It's true," says Heather and Lizzy in unison.

"Prove it! I'm only asking for proof!" cries Chuck, standing up and storming out of the café, before reappearing at the doorway.

"I want proof - is that too much to ask?" she screams.

Jjaz rolls her eyes.

"Look, Sabine admitted she mocked my suicide. It's even on the MW archives. But we don't need to post that because Heather and Lizzy witnessed it!"

"My son logged on and made that comment!" cries Sabine.

"See! You lying scum!" screams Chuck. "You bully! Leave us alone!"

"Your son?" laughs OM, stroking his chin.

"Stop this at once," mutters the man, gazing at his t-shirt and wondering what to eat next.

"OK chaps, we'll move over there," says Broken quite calmly.

Our Mozzer nods softly, grimacing and licking his lips.

"Stop right there, b*****!" comes a loud voice from the other side of the café.

"You can't b******d leave! You b******d treating Chuck like this!"

"Pardon?" asks Broken.

"Bullying a helpless woman because she'd defending another helpless woman, who was probably only defending another helpless-"

"I'm just moving away from the homophobic abuse and rudeness," interrupts Broken.

"You can't leave! You can't leave! Don't you dare go! And don't you DARE close down the blog, you cruel b******d!"

"OK let's go home. This is insane," says Broken. He, OM, Jjaz and JB stand up and leave.

"I knew there was something not right about him," murmurs Lizzy, looking at Broken.

"Not a very nice man," says the man. "And your aweful grammer!"

As they leave, someone throws a piece of fruit at Broken.

"Perhaps now the bullying will stop" says Chuck to Sabine.

"Don't count on it," she says, with a roll of the eyes. "The f*g is a right c***."

"All I asked for was proof!" shrieks Chuck, in tears. "Is that TOO much to ask?"

Sabine nods, her eyes closing as she downs her tea.

"I hope this isn't the end," says Heather. "I love the BRS."

"I know... it's awful," says Lizzy. "After we've spent all these years following the blog and twitter too! All the time and effort we've expended. Where's the loyalty? Where?"

Sabine nods.

"Nasty bullies!" says Chuck.

Lizzy runs to the door and shouts down the street: "You scum have no loyalty to your loyal readers! How dare you close the blog down after upsetting my friend Sabine! I tell you what! I don't give a fig for your blog anymore! You've ruined it all!"

Two more articles have been published on the True Morrissey blog, one yesterday and one today. Here is the first, entitled Symbol and Surface, which is all about Oscar Wilde and the role of the artist as seen by Our Mozzer:

18 January 2017
Symbol and Surface

There is no explanation needed of the works of Wilde. Even the most sexually stringent sexually minded Victorian saw the metaphors and understood. Perhaps the most complex of characters was not so complex at all. He had Victorian society in awe when he ripped into the sky that they sheltered themselves under in regards to morality and ‘sexual correctness’. He showed the contradictions and utter absurdity of the time in which they found themselves and in which they conned themselves into thinking they were actually living. When Wilde finished his many masterpieces the jokes did not need explaining, people simply laughed because it was true. Since his tragic passing Oscar has become an icon. We trot him out to explain a plethora of situations. In essence Oscar has become in our time what he should have been in his own time. He is no longer looked upon as the criminal par excellence but as a maladjusted malcontent who could not fit into a society which quite frankly was not worth fitting into.

The event that would befall Oscar and rip to shreds his legacy and tarnish the varnish of his name was the act then called sodomy but what we now call Pure Greek. Rumours were of course persistent before the tragic unveiling of Oscar as the Victorian persona non grata but his talent outweighed the maliciousness. Once the 'sordid', sordid by Victorian standards not ours, details were revealed the public almost choked on their potato dinner. The fact is the personal life of the public artist shocked those who had once been enthralled. The message here? Do not take things at face value.

The artists image or indeed the public image presented by the artist does not match with the true person. As Oscar himself told us 'All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their peril." Those who take public statements as the truth are very simple. The artist lies. Why? To present a more rounded and decent picture of themselves usually. Or simply that the artist is forever changing and adapting to the times. Sometimes they even shape the times. The artist constantly evolves. But the artist is devoid from the person for it is true that creation truly begins when you are born and only ends when you die.

It is an interesting and thought provoking piece, which once again shows that those three denials made by Morrissey on TTY regarding him having a blog should NOT have been taken at face value - "THE ARTIST LIES".

Even more interesting than the actual article, was the photo that accompanied it - a photo of Oscar that Morrissey has previously used with the words 'Smiths is Dead' written on it, but most noticeably the word 'dead' has been blanked out. It ain't rocket science, and as OM said to me in the confines of his chat room yesterday evening, "it is one for the archives". Oh the secrets this little blog of mine holds.

Image result for smiths is dead

Also whilst in the chat room last night, OM took the trouble to explain to me what 'Pure Greek' meant, as I had no idea - after all, I am an uneducated and unread philistine. He said:

Pure Greek my dear rat is what Oscar Wilde quipped to a vicar when he was playing in a garden with Alfred Douglas and the vicar took issue. "What is all this?" the vicar said. "This my child is Pure Greek" replied Oscar.

Further research has led me to realise that the Greeks were rather keen on their man love. I really, really am SO poorly educated. Whilst researching, I found an interesting piece by a now deceased french author called Michel Foucault, who wrote in his book The History of Sexuality, "Greece as the historical memory of a treasured past was romanticised and idealised as a time and a culture when love between males was not only tolerated but actually encouraged, and expressed as high ideal of same-sex camaraderie." So now I know!

Image result for two ancient greek male bonding

Image result for two ancient greek male bonding

The only other revelation from last night's time in the chat room, is that OM declared, "Johnny and I are on better terms, this is true."

The other new piece on the True Morrissey blog is a diary entry entitled January 4th - January 9th:

19 January 2017

January 4th - January 9th

Crawled into bed on the 4th and did not crawl out again until the 9th. Purchased thermal vest and undergarments from the internet. This cold is blistering and I refuse to pay for central heating. It annoys my skin but more importantly it costs money that diminishes the piggy bank. I could always turn up at Boz’s house with a depressed eyebrow. He will show sympathy and let me in. I notice his central heating is always on, how does he afford it? *** Consider lowering wages in 2017.*

Played online monopoly against a user called ‘Drummerboysmith’, I suspect Joyce of course and play an outstanding defensive game of monopoly. He was the bank. Well I was not surprised.

Looked at so-low. They are debating whether I have a twitter account or not. Joyce again. He probably posted this thread as he wants to see if he was blocked by the real Morrissey. He is no doubt stalking all possible Morrissey accounts to see if they are spending any of his money.

Fax machine was non-stop noise. I refuse to answer. I am an icon and do things on my own terms. Anyway it will only be my b****** lawyer.

Fell asleep to the sounds of Nico. Beautiful voice, beautiful face, ugly toes.

And finally, Manc Lad left a great little story in the comments section of yesterdays FTM, that he claims to be true. Apparently Morrissey was overheard in the Altrincham WH Smith asking the lad behind the counter if he had any stamps without the Queen's head on. Comedy gold.

Our Mozzer (@seminalartiste) made a visit to The Wrong Arms yesterday evening, bringing with him a photograph of himself, in which he looked rather 'overly' tanned. He was accompanied by Dawn Mist (@slightdawnmist)

DAWN: Is that a Damart vest I see?

OM: Pure Gucci as you are well aware.

RAT: Lies, lies, lies. Gucci don't do thermals!

DAWN: I noticed he's learnt to apply the "fake bake" rather well.

OM: One does not apply these things themselves. Boz tried. Although not before he tasted a whole bottle. I'm not entirely sure it was even vegetarian.

RAT: Surely a breech (sic) of contract. You should've docked his wages - just to be on the safe side.

DAWN: If he did that Boz would refuse to bed bath OM again.

OM: He still owes me £3000 for the meeting with Gwen Stefani.

RAT: You had to pay to meet her?

OM: I was under the impression it was Lady Gaga.

Image result for morrissey stefani gwen justin

Image result for morrissey stefani gwen justin

MORRISSEY WITH GWEN STEFANI.....OR GAGA....OR SOMEONE ELSE

Earlier in the evening, Dawn had entered The Arms to invite people to join OM in the lighthouse (the TM chat room), where he was "hoovering".

Unfortunately I was not online at the time of the invite, so have no idea which of the regulars joined M in the lighthouse, nor know what was discussed. If anyone reading this was there, then please feel free to leave a report in the comments section below.

Heather also didn't make it, but later replied to Dawn's invite to offer her apologies. Dawn replied, "OM was mainly hoovering the cobwebs from his quiff".
I asked, "Where does he keep his quiff these days - is it in a box?", to which Dawn answered, "It's currently at Raouls being tweaked to perfection. Competition is pending - JM."

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RAOUL'S - WIG MAKERS SINCE 1899

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JM - COMPETITIVELY HIRSUTE

I also enjoyed a brief chat with OM in the toilets of The Arms last night. He informed me that he has written a new Bans Committee parody piece, but doesn't think we deserve to have it yet. He also said that he wished he could start his blogging/tweeting career all over again, but would it have worked out any differently? Those original TTY denials were just too subtle. I actually think M is quite content with how the past 6 years have panned out.

I shared with OM my news that I have just been employed on a local basis as a writer/journalist - I have always wanted to write professionally. M offered me a few 'pen names', and said that he thinks he would have made a good journalist - I think he's right, although with his tendency to lie, he might have ended up being the subject of one of his own songs!

THE BLUE ROSE

A man stood upon the chalk cliff and looked out to sea. He stood alone, of course, always alone, and looked out into the blackness, a blackness who's twin brother had, for all of his life, gripped and held him as though a permanent lodger to his soul. Tonight however, the blackness was broken by the full moon, a moon that not only lit the sky but also lit the sea. The light of the moon allowed the sea to show off some of her blue sheen, but still the blackness dominated, always the blackness dominated. And as the moon reflected, so did the man, but while the moon sought no answers, the man sought many, always he sought the answers but usually without conclusion. The man started to walk along the narrow, uneven, chalk path that had been created by many other feet over hundreds of years. The man, not wanting to follow the same path as others, veered off into the light scrub and as he continued his walk, he felt a presence beside him. The man did not turn his head to look and see who had joined him but asked, "How did you find me?" The presence paused and then replied, "It is my job to seek and find you and, as you know, I am never far away. In fact, of all the people I know, you are one of the easiest to find. Do you know why I am here?" The man continued to stroll and as he did, he kicked out at loose bits of chalk and gravel and then replied, "Yes I know why you are here but I am not sure if it is I who seek you, or you that seek me?" The presence laughed gently, almost mockingly and said, "Perhaps we both seek each other, we have a strong bond you and I, for many, many reasons, so tell me, what is on your mind?" The man continued on his walk and stooped to pluck a brooklime, which he then gently nibbled at as he pondered the question. Eventually he responded, "Over the years I have asked you many things and although I listen carefully to your answers and heed your advice, I cannot help but feel that you charlatanize me, do you?" The presence once again laughed, but this time louder and with a sneer to it's laugh, and then said to the man, "Is that EVEN a word? It is only right that you should question everything and everyone but that blackness that clings to you will not leave until you allow it to go. You think it clings to you with a vice like grip but it is you that grips just as hard, a grip I too have felt. Now tell me, do you know of 'The Nightingale and The Rose'?" This time it was the turn of the man to laugh with a mocking tone and through gritted teeth he replied, " Yes, you know full well I know of it, it too grips at my ankles like shackles and much as I love it with all my heart, it burns me, engulfs me, burdens me." The presence smiled to itself, a satisfying smile and said, "Exactly as I wished and pray tell, which character do you see as you?" The man, without hesitation or pause for thought, responded immediately, "I am surprised you need ask, you know full well I am the nightingale, I am the one full of song, I am told beautiful song and yet my song is never enough and I have to give more, always more, I have to bleed, bleed and sing and each day that goes by, I feel the thorn dig deeper, always deeper as it heads to my heart, so I sing new songs and still it is never enough and even those who say they love my song, they critisise and mock and say that the songs I sing are not the songs they want to hear and then there are those who do not know me and certainly don't listen to my songs, they too critisise and call me ugly and sneer at me and try to pull me to the floor where they can kick me, punch me, walk on me, humiliate me and still I sing, I sing and I bleed and one day I will no longer be there and they will miss me when I'm gone, oh yes, they'll miss me when I'm gone." The man fell quiet, he felt both anger and sadness and he continued to walk. The presence let the air hang still and then mused, "Yes, I thought you would see yourself as the nightingale and indeed you do have many of it's traits, for not only do you sing a fair song, but you are also caring, kind and loving but you are neither a bird nor foolish enough to give up your life for one who you know will not appreciate it, you are no more the nightingale than I." The man was incensed, he raised his voice and cried, "How dare you call the nightingale foolish, she sacrificed her life so that another may love." The presence once again laughed, "I can call her what I like but did her death allow another to love? No, it was a lovely sentiment, but as I say, misguided and foolish. You are NOT the nightingale, try again, what other characters are there?" The man gathered his thoughts and then announced, "Well I am CERTAINLY not the student." The presence paused before saying, "But can you be so sure? the student, like you, is well read, single minded and seeks love, are you really so different?" The man swung his foot at a large stone and sent it hurtling down the cliff. His foot stung with the pain of kicking such a stone and he felt a pain in his heart, for he knew that the presence was right. "So I am the selfish and shallow student am I?" he asked defeatedly, "No of course not," bellowed the presence, once again laughing as he continued, "Do you really think that I should think so little of you? No, you will no doubt be pleased to know, you are NOT the student, but you do have many of his traits. Now, try again." Once again the man pondered, it was easy for him to recollect the characters from a story he knew so well and the character's raced through his mind. "Surely I am not the cynical, mocking lizard?" he enquired? The presence grinned and replied, "Once again you have his characteristics but his role is small, no you are not the lizard, nor are you the white rose, for although the white rose symbolises; purity, innocence and secrecy, all traits that you have, the white rose has always had to play second fiddle to the red rose and you play second fiddle to nobody." The man jumped in, "So I am the red rose, filled with love, respect, courage and passion? Yes, this is indeed me and as we know, the red rose in the story, having been filled with the blood and soul of the nightingale, ends up in the gutter where it is run over by a cart. Yes, at last I can see, I am the red rose, not the nightingale but I have the blood and spirit of the nightingale within me." The presence guffawed with laughter and said, "I should have guessed that you would relate to being tossed to the gutter, your self degradation becomes you, it is one of the most beautiful traits you possess and yes you are SO like the red rose, indeed if the rose were you, I can almost picture it smiling as it lay in the gutter waiting for the cart to crush it. If the student hadn't tossed the red rose to the gutter, I do believe it would have jumped there itself, although of course, as I think about it, I think it more likely in fact, that the rose would TALK about tossing itself to the gutter and would MOCK itself but wouldn't ACTUALLY choose to jump, no, instead, it would hope for a stay of execution and would long to be pinned to the student's lapel or hope that the intended recipient see sense and accept it after all, so that there would be a 'happy ever after'. Mmm, you are very nearly the red rose, but not quite, so try again." The man looked perplexed and announced, "I am running out of characters, I cannot possibly be the rose tree, for although it shows some knowledge in that it is able to supply the nightingale with the solution of how to produce a red rose, it has a nasty, perverse streak and it seems to cajole the nightingale to pull closer to the thorns, knowing that the nightingale's death will be a death for no reason. No, I am NOT the murdering rose tree." The man stopped and looked toward the sea, the moon's reflection had gone. He looked up and saw that a large cloud had smothered the moon, as though trying to keep it quiet as it rummaged through it's pockets. The man had still not turned to look at the presence, but knew he was still there. The man spoke, "So who am I?" The presence puffed itself up as though preparing for it's final submission to the court and said, "You are the centre piece to the story, the main character, is it not obvious? You are the professor's daughter." The man was confused, "But why?" he asked. The presence continued, "The whole story revolves around the daughter. The student deeply loves her and wants to impress her, the nightingale is prepared to die for her, so that she can get what she wants, the red rose is wanted by her and then rejected by her and the chamberlain's nephew even buys jewels for her. She is everything, YOU are everything. You have traits of everything and everybody in the story. You ARE the story. You are Unattainable, Impossible and exist only in fantasy, not in nature. You are unrequited. You are the first of all pleasures. I both love you and need you." The man looked content. He said, "And if I am the professor's daughter, then you must be the professor. You professor, are trouble, the trouble that loves me." The man turned to face the presence for the first time, but nobody was there, just a blue rose.

I have been writing this blog for the last eight months, and one of my regular readers is none other than Morrissey himself, he has 'even' occasionally left comments. Yesterday, I decided to try and interview him, so I posted twenty questions in the hope that he may respond....he did, and his responses can be found in the 'comments' section of yesterday's blog entry. Here is the interview WITH MORRISSEY in full:

TRB: You are currently in Hawaii, a) Is it how you imagined?, and b) were you influenced to go there because of the Elvis films, or was it 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'?

Morrissey: a) When I close my eyes I can't imagine anything except melody and hooks; and many would no doubt add that that's debatable. My poverty of imagination for all things material leaves me bowled over by each sojourn into far-flung places. As I grow older and absolute senility creeps ever closer, it feels more miraculous by the day that I exist at all; that places as mesmerising as Hawaii exist too is just... breathtaking.

Satisfaction is enjoyment minus expectations. My expectations are now so low that even my life is capable of satisfying me.

b) It was Dr Jacoby and his Hawaiian wife. You should know that.

TRB: You've been touring for a long time now, do you still feel the same desire to perform, or are the endless flights and hotels getting to you?

Morrissey: Only seals... and 'yes.'

TRB: You and the band certainly seem to be having fun on stage, can you explain 'why' Boz has adopted the dresses and 'why' do the band often go topless?

Morrissey: As a band we feel it's very important to glamorise girls who wear 'Plus Size Clothing.' The media obsession with waifs is becoming oppressive: in 2012, anyone older than thirty-three or larger than Victoria Beckham around the waist has no right to be seen in public. The fact that Boz is currently sponsored by Evans Clothing and we as a band are sponsored by Caramac is neither here nor there.

TRB: It's been noted that during shows, as you sweat, a 'heart shape' appears on your back, how do you do that, does Boz spray deodorant over you beforehand?

Morrissey: I don't know where these rumours spring from. I shall have to start padlocking my dressing room door.

TRB: You actually change your shirt two or three times during each show, have you considered Boz having a mid show dress change, to add a bit of Je ne sais quoi to the performances?

Morrissey: This is an excellent idea. Keep your eyes peeled.

TRB: It is your 53rd birthday next week, and you look in fantastic nick....for a man of your age. Are you comfortable with how you look, and would you ever consider a 'Rooneyesque weave' if your infamous quiff goes awol?

Morrissey: As I approach my very late forties, I realise more with each passing day how very fortunate I was in my twenties and thirties. I didn't go bald, nor did I look like a forty-two year old foetus born in close proximity to the Sellafield reprocessing plant, wearing a fetching brown toupe. Sadly I do now, of course. But we can't have everything we crave. If we could, I would have ceased to exist over two decades ago.

TRB: And talking about birthdays, how did you celebrate (?) your 13th, 23rd, 33rd and 43rd birthdays, and how did you feel at each of those ages?

Morrissey: 13th - a large cake with 13 candles. Appalled.

23rd - a small cupcake with a solitary candle. Anguished.

33rd - a currant bun. Afflicted.

43rd - a slither of lemon Turkish Delight. Apathetic.

53rd - a gulp of San Diego air? Absent?

TRB: Your setlists always include a number of Smiths songs, do you purposely look to include a certain number of them, or do you see all your songs as being from one big catalogue, and not give any thought as to who wrote the music?

Morrissey: If we were face to face, I would probably roll my eyes and give the same answer I usually give at this juncture. As we are not, I shall simply say, 'no,''yes' and 'no.'

TRB: You have recently stated (yet again) that you dislike 'What Difference Does It Make', but for many of us, it is 'the' song that led us to you. Do you 'ever' think you will fall back in love with it? Is there any chance of us 'ever' seeing you perform it again?

Morrissey: 'What Difference Does It Make' is musically interesting but lyrically it is very... Simon Le Bon. I find the lyrics facile and mildly embarrassing. Otherwise it's a majestic pop melody by Johnny and, ironically, had the lyrics indeed been penned by Simon Le Bon, I would probably cover it! As it is I'd feel too ashamed. I might sing it during the pause in 'Speedway-'

TRB: In recent concerts, you have recited lines from two Don McLean songs during the pause in 'Speedway' and also lines from Houseman's 'The Welsh Marches', why these particular quotes?

Morrissey: I would like to say more but I can't and so I'll say less.

TRB: At this moment in time, and obviously it changes, what are your top 3 songs of all time and your top 3 Moz written songs?

Morrissey: Avoiding the first question entirely:
1 There is a light that never goes out
2 First of the gang to die
3 Everyday is like sunday

They will change tomorrow.

TRB: You are rarely asked about your record collection, and I'd LOVE to know, so please answer honestly, how many 7 inch singles are in your collection, how many albums, and how do you store them; alphabetically, by date, or another method?

Morrissey: I own literally thousands of records. Most of them are stored in large banana leaf coffins in the basement of a large house and are not touched from one decade to the next. They will be buried with me - or rather, I shall be buried with them.

TRB: As you always seem to be on the road, where do you call home these days, ie, where is the aforementioned record collection kept?

Morrissey: Home is a question mark.

TRB: Talking of records, are you any closer to a record deal, or are all talks dead?

Morrissey: There will be an announcement of 'My World' quite soon.

TRB: We fans are desperate to buy the half dozen songs you've showcased, would you ever consider just releasing digitally, or signing to a small independent label?

Morrissey: As I tweeted, finding one of my albums in the local newsagent taped on to the front of the Sunday Mail is probably my biggest nightmare. Releasing it electronically would be a close second. The third option is now my only hope.

TRB: Have you written any new songs lately, and if yes, will you be playing them live?

Morrissey: Boredom is a plague, The tyranny of tedium, My world. Possibly. We hope to have a new song in the set by Manchester.

TRB: And what's happening with the autobiography?

Morrissey: Coming to a pulping unit near you soon.

TRB: All seems to have gone quiet on the NME court case, is it still going ahead, and if so, when?

Morrissey: ...

TRB: Why have you decided to just play one UK show this year, and can we expect anything special in Manchester?

Morrissey: We had a debate about one off concerts in two countries. The first is scheduled and the second will probably happen in the near future.

TRB: I'm not going to ask you about MorrisseysWorld, because I don't need to, but anybody can see that you have accepted just two flowers on stage in the last year, and both were roses, do you have a particular love for roses?

Morrissey: I love flowers and Oscar Wilde dearly adored roses. This is enough.

TRB: Thank you for answering my questions, can I have an exclusive? Nobody will believe this interview is real, so you're quite safe.

Morrissey: Thank you for asking your questions. Nobody will believe it's real, and indeed it isn't real. And neither am I.

FOOT NOTES: Morrissey's mention of 'Dr Jacoby and his Hawaiian wife' in question one, is a reference to one of his favourite television shows, 'Twin Peaks'. In relation to question five, it should be noted that Boz Boorer has NEVER had a costume change mid show, and if it now occurs as a result of this interview, I reserve the right to claim a fee from 'Our Mozzer' for some sort of 'artistic introduction'. Morrissey's response to question nine means I will now be listening to the 'pause' in 'Speedway' with renewed excitement, although I won't hold my breath! Is Morrissey's response to question fourteen an 'exclusive' that his next album will be called 'My World'? We will have to wait and see. The reply to question sixteen suggests a 'new song' will be added to the set in Manchester, which is very exciting. It should be noted that Morrissey's 'non response' to question eighteen about the court case, was followed by a statement just a few hours later on his 'official' website 'True-To-You.net' which said the court case 'IS' going ahead, and is scheduled to start on July 16. Morrissey's answer to question nineteen, about 'one off concerts', is a reference to a debate held on his 'unofficial' website 'MorrisseysWorld.blogspot.co.uk' on February 17th, entitled, 'Debate: Should Morrissey play one-off concerts in France or England? Or anywhere else?' The 'official' statement regarding the 'one off' concert in Manchester appeared on TTY on April 8th! Could it be that a 'one off' concert in France will be announced soon?

Morrissey CLEARLY would like roses to be taken to his concerts, and has previously asked for; red, white or blue ones to be thrown onto the stage.

I am claiming NO COPYRIGHT on this interview, and give my full permission for anybody to reproduce either part, or all of the interview, as long as they give a credit to TRB and mention 'FollowingTheMozziah.blogspot.co.uk as it's original source.
TRB

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