Wednesday May 2 2018 (The real and proper Day 2422) -The rover returns

May 2, 2018, 9:13 am

≫ Next: Friday May 4 2018 (The real and proper Day 2424) - This Charming Man

≪ Previous: Friday April 20 2018 (The real and proper Day 2410) - For Britain

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Yesterday evening, at 8.20pm UK time, the doors of The Wrong Arms were flung open and in walked a sputtering Morrissey - The Mozziah has returned.





Members of the Dreary Deluded Dozen started to interact with him immediately, but although Mozzer was using the Twitter handle 'Seminal Artiste' with the account name @Alfsbutton,  I was sceptical as to whether or not this was the real Mozzer or an imposter. My doubt was quickly laid to rest when the seminal artist dragged me into the cloakroom and showed me his credentials. It was him all right!

And now that I know I am writing about the real deal, here are his Twitter offerings from last night:

In reply to Dan Abnormal (@nothappysad75) (who probably isn't Ricky Gervais, but who knows) asking, "Are you ill?": "Forever, lamentably" 

"In truth we find falsehoods and in falsehoods we find ourselves."

In reply to Jesse Nothing (@MozFiend) tweeting, "I can't believe I have this opportunity to talk to you and yet I don't. My phone is dying and I am in a bad situation": "My phone is in a bad situation and I am dying"

In reply to Nat (@HoarselyCry) tweeting, "Good to see you back":"Are you sure?"

In reply to Nat enquiring as to whether this was a ghost from the past in the same body: "I wouldn't describe myself as having a body. It is more akin to a bin bag stuffed with lard."




"You were not supposed to agree with the lard comment."

"I once confused France with a sewage system. That was extremely insensitive of me. A sewage system has less odour problems."

"Kanye West states slavery was a choice. Somebody should choose to emancipate Kanye West from the burden of being Kanye West."




"Nephews latest photomontage"










It's great to have Our Mozzer back, and even greater when he is laying into the likes of Kanye West and the French. Hopefully we will get more of this, and perhaps we may even get to see OM laying into clubs on Twitter, just like he did in the old days.

Whilst I was in the toilets inspecting OM's credentials, we also had a little chat. I asked what had happened to the email that he was going to send me, that was to be published on FTM. He explained that the content had been posted on Morrissey Central instead i.e., the article titled I've Been Dreaming of A Time When - it was obviously decided that the article deserved a wider audience than FTM could give it.

OM also informed me that, "the lighthouse keeper is lost at sea once again", which I presume means that he has lost the password for the Dawn Mist/Dawn the Second Twitter account.

I asked Mozzer where he had been of late, and he replied, "I have been turning the clock back." I asked, "Hair transplant? Face lift? Tummy tuck", and got the reply,"Gender reassignment."




The new Morrissey Twitter account has so far amassed 22 followers.

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Friday May 4 2018 (The real and proper Day 2424) - This Charming Man

May 4, 2018, 4:32 am

≫ Next: Monday May 7 2018 (The real and proper Day 2427) - Liberate

≪ Previous: Wednesday May 2 2018 (The real and proper Day 2422) -The rover returns

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I was just about to go to sleep last night, when I saw in my Twitter timeline one of those silly and utterly pointless questionnaire thingies that you sometimes just can't ignore. This particular one on Buzzfeed.com and was titled, 'Which The Smiths Song Are You Based On These Random Questions?', and they really are random questions that can't possibly give any indication of anything. None the less, I am apparently The Headmaster Ritual:



Although there had been no sign of Mozzer (@AlfsButton) on Twitter, I decided to tweet him a link to the questionnaire thingy and asked him which Smiths song he was. Five minutes later, I rather unexpectedly got a reply:

"This Charming Man of course"

We then had the following conversation:

ME:  Did you actually take the quiz?

MOZ: Do I actually need to answer that?

ME: It would be fairly amusing if you were to take the quiz. A screenshot of the result it gives would also be amusing. Will you amuse me?

MOZ: You have over six years of me amusing and abusing you on your very own blog. I suggest you read that.

ME: Oh go on, humour me. You know you want to take the quiz. You actually might get This Charming Man. What are your current Top 3 favourite Smiths songs?

MOZ: I Want the One I Can't Have, Reel Around the Fountain and Ask

To my surprise and utter delight, I then received a DM with a screen shot showing that Morrissey really DID get This Charming Man on the quiz. He also wrote, "Happy now?"



I decided to post the screenshot on Twitter, which resulted in old Mozzer tweeting:

"That was for your eyes only. I do not sit around partaking in quizzes on the Internet all day. I have no time what with spider solitaire and Candy Crush Saga."

(Cut to the Statler and Waldorf of the Morrissey world, aka Uncle Skinny and his Solow chum, Charlie Cheswick)

SKINNY: FRAUD, FRAUD, FRAUD - The real Morrissey wouldn't know what Candy Crush Saga is, let alone play it. This fraudster who has been pretending to be Morrissey for the past seven years will soon be tripped up and exposed.

CHARLIE: Yeah, I agree with you.

SKINNY: And anyway, I have no interest in Morrissey anymore, he's a racist, and I should know because I'm right about everything, always.

CHARLIE: Yeah, I hate Morrissey too, and want nothing to do with him, the racist.

Poor old Skinny and co. They really don't have a clue about ANYTHING, and despite what they would like to think, their obsession with Morrissey is stronger than ever.

And yes, it really is now SEVEN YEARS since Morrissey started MorrisseysWorld.




Back to my Twitter conversation of last night with Morrissey.... YES, the REAL Morrissey.

ME: Do you ever listen to your songs and wish you had changed a lyric or added something else/taken something out?

MOZ: No never. Added a drum machine. Taken drummer out.

ME: As you write new songs and change lyrics, do you keep original notes or do you throw any workings away once you have the finished article?

MOZ: I archive and hoard everything. I have quite an accumulation. This will no doubt fall into the wrong hands of those that disowned me. They must make their fortune upon my death.

ME: I wouldn't be too concerned about those wrong hands - you'll outlive them all. You'll be in that care home aged 103, banging out requests for the other residents.

MOZ: Banging out requests? I'm not Elton John.

ME: Not yet, but you might in 40 years time.You archive? Do you have ring binders?

MOZ: And you were doing so well. End of the Spanish inquisition.

ME: Bugger it! Thank you for humouring me. Goodnight.

MOZ: I think you humoured me more...


MORRISSEY BANGING OUT YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME, FATTY CIRCA 2062 


Along with that screenshot of This Charming Man, I also had another DM from Mozzer last night which read, "I've been here for over 48 hours. No one bothers to speak to me except you. What's the point?"

AlfsButton currently has 33 followers. As to why all these people aren't all taking this incredible opportunity to converse with Morrissey, I really don't know. Perhaps the cat has got their thumb.

*Goes off singing* Punc_tured bi_sick_all on a hillside desoo_let, will nature make a man of me yet? And in this charming car, this charrr_ming man

Monday May 7 2018 (The real and proper Day 2427) - Liberate

May 7, 2018, 2:43 am

≫ Next: Wednesday May 9 2018 (The real and proper Day 2429) - The return of Len Shackleton

≪ Previous: Friday May 4 2018 (The real and proper Day 2424) - This Charming Man

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There were a couple of very brief visits to The Wrong Arms by Our Mozzer (as @AlfsButton) over the weekend, but I missed both of them.

The first visit was on Saturday at around 5.30pm (UK time....I have no idea if Morrissey is in the UK!). Morrissey retweeted a photo posted by Joe Chiccarelli from La Fabrique recording studio; where he is working with Vagabond Specter, and then replied to a question which had been posted by @comradeharps.
Harps asked, "Have you ever felt the need to be liberated from the burden of being Morrissey?", to which Morrissey replied, "I always hear how difficult it is to be a Morrissey fan, However, one did not force oneself on these people. This is something I'd like to be liberated from." 

Why anyone should find it difficult to be a Morrissey fan is beyond me. In fact, it is a ridiculous statement for any fan to make, and yet it is true that many are making it these days, particularly on Twitter. In truth, I don't think these people find it difficult being a fan at all, they are just politically correct fools who only ever say what they believe other politically correct fools want to hear. Fuck 'em all.


LA FAB - AS POSTED BY JOE CHICCARELLI ON TWITTER


Morrissey's only other visit to The Arms was yesterday evening. He tweeted, "Intervention for staged anorexia. Collapse. Rehab. Relapse."

Caitlin (@a_monster) responded to this by stating that to get mental health treatment you have to have something more than just anorexia, and asked, "Were things ever worse or are we going backwards?" OM replied, "No fast forward, just rewind."

I have no idea why Morrissey is tweeting about anorexia, but would presume that somebody close to him must be suffering. It is a dreadful illness, and those close to someone with it must feel so helpless.

I have nothing more to add today other than to mention that Alfsbutton has a new profile picture, and his follower numbers are now up to 42. These 42 include people like @stracy1675 and @YunaGunarso, who have both been involved in the MorrisseysWorld journey previously. Are there people who are just happy to watch from the sidelines, or are they still not sure (after seven years) if this really is Morrissey?


ALF'S NEW PROFILE PICTURE

Wednesday May 9 2018 (The real and proper Day 2429) - The return of Len Shackleton

May 9, 2018, 8:30 am

≫ Next: Tuesday May 15 2018 (The real and proper Day 2435) - The real, real Morrissey

≪ Previous: Monday May 7 2018 (The real and proper Day 2427) - Liberate

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I was rummaging through some old FTM's the other week, when I came across one from April 2016 - Day 1688 - The Sending Off of Len Shackleton.  The piece was about a line in Big Hard Excellent Fish's Imperfect List - a track that Morrissey used to play to the audience just prior to coming on stage.

My piece from April 2016 didn't manage to come up with a definitive reason as to why the line about Len Shackleton's sending off was included in the Imperfect List, although one of the author's; Morrissey's old mucker, Jake Walters, had let me know that it was an, "in joke" and, "a nod to an old friend of ours designer/artist Vaughn Oliver".

Having re-read my piece, I decided to make contact with Jake again, via Twitter, to see if he would give me any more information about this very peculiar mentioning of the former Sunderland footballer, Len Shackleton, and in particular, the 'sending off', which isn't mentioned anywhere. I had always presumed that it must have been a famous sending off; in an FA Cup Final or something similar, but it just doesn't seem to have happened. As far as I am aware, Shackleton was NEVER sent off in his whole career.

LEN SHACKLETON

Jake didn't reply at first, probably because he was working in Sao Paulo when I tweeted him, but yesterday he did. First of all he reminded me that it was an in joke that he and Josie Jones had with Vaughan Oliver. He then added, "We loved Vaughn who never stopped banging on about Shackleton (arguably the greatest player of his time). He was an outspoken anti-establishment figure which we liked. The 'sending off' is a metaphor. Including LS in the list is a nod to Vaughn and a sort of camp joke."

So there we have it, Len Shackleton's sending off wasn't an actual sending off at all, it was some sort of metaphor as a nod to Vaughan Oliver's obsession with Shackleton.


VAUGHAN OLIVER

Jake also told me that he can no longer listen to Imperfect List, saying, "I'm afraid I can't listen to it anymore... Josie was extremely special to me." Jake added that he had lost touch with Vaughan, who according to a 2014 interview I have found online, is now lecturing in universities.


JAKE WALTERS WITH MORRISSEY

There has been no sign of Our Mozzer since Sunday evening, although he has gained one extra follower on Twitter - Romina! - putting the total number at 43.

The only other thing to report, is that the Morrissey Central website has posted a link to a film trailer for The More You Ignore Me, which is written by Jo Brand, and stars Sheridan Smith. The trailer features Smith saying, "Do you know Morrissey? He's me saviour. I need to get to him". She needs to pay a visit to The Wrong Arms!

Tuesday May 15 2018 (The real and proper Day 2435) - The real, real Morrissey

May 15, 2018, 6:02 am

≫ Next: Thursday May 17 2018 (The real and proper Day 2437) - Nothing to see here

≪ Previous: Wednesday May 9 2018 (The real and proper Day 2429) - The return of Len Shackleton

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In the past week I have been pulled in many directions, and none of them have been in the direction of The Wrong Arms. My Twitter timeline shows me that I haven't missed too much, but I have missed Our Mozzer on three occasions.

On Thursday of last week - just before 9pm (UK time) - OM (as @AlfsButton) tweeted, "This is a time that cannot pass but it passes even so."

When Kev (@MozzaKev) replied to say that we will soldier on until the world stops going around, Mozzer responded, "The world stopped spinning years ago. We now are on a spiral of despair."



Morrissey then tweeted, "In 25 years time the UK Number One will be sung in Arabic. The news will be read to you in Arabic. Your wife will be raped to the sounds of the Arabic tongue."

Goodness only knows how the snowflakes would have reacted if that last tweet had been posted on Morrissey Central. We would no doubt have seen another stream of lily livered politically correct Morrissey fans leaving the stable, although actually, there surely can't be any of the 'offended by anything' brigade left! The Guardian and Uncle Skinny would self combust with rage if the real Morrissey made such a statement. Ironically, it is we 47 followers of AlfsButton who get to see the real, real Morrissey.


@ALFSBUTTON - THE REAL, REAL MORRISSEY

Mozzer returned to The Arms again on Sunday evening to reply to a tweet by @MozzeriansUnite, who had posted a copy of a piece in The Observer/Guardian about a book written by fanzine writer, Dave Haslam, which includes a recollection by Haslam of the day he cooked Cauliflower Cheese for Morrissey - which Morrissey didn't eat because, according to Haslam, Morrissey had already been fed by his mother. MozzeriansUnite had tweeted, "We're all wondering what he had for tea, aren't we", to which Mozzer replied, "Self loathing and yoghurt."



Morrissey again put in a brief appearance at The Arms last night, and followed up on the subject of the visit to Haslam's house: "I had not eaten before arriving. However once I saw the dinner abomination I immediately vomited across my seminal jeans. I see that was omitted from the account."

Haslam is yet another in a very long line of people who have tried to make money and a name for themselves on the back of Morrissey. Julie 'Pigsick' Hamill and Dickie Felt 'em have taken it a step further, writing books about people who don't even know Morrissey. Some of us our happy to write about Morrissey anonymously, and without trying to make money.... although if in 2035 you see an edited version of FTM in a bookshop near you, then feel free to call me a hypocrite.

Haslam has also given an interview to The Guardian to promote his book, and in the interview he is quoted as saying, "Everything he (Morrissey) was - informed, charming, gentle - he is opposite now - uninformed, charmless, bitter and twisted. It's a strange one, especially because he says he hasn't changed. From my perspective, he has."

Of course Haslam is completely and utterly wrong. He has made the common mistake of judging Morrissey on the stories he reads in the mainstream media. Those of us who interact with Morrissey on Twitter know the truth:

A) Morrissey is more informed than most, and certainly more informed than Haslam - and this ISN'T information that is fed by The Guardian or the BBC, it is researched information about what is really going on in the world.

B) Morrissey is anything but charmless, he is as witty and delightful as ever. Just because Haslam may not agree with Morrissey on something - probably Brexit - it doesn't make Morrissey any less charming. Haslam hasn't spoken to Morrissey in years, he doesn't know him at all. Those (dozen or so) of you who are reading this blog right now on May 15th 2018 know more about the 2018 Morrissey than the likes of Dave Haslam. Yes Haslam once cooked cauliflower cheese for Morrissey, but that was thirty five years ago. Haslam knows NOTHING of the Morrissey of 2018, in the same way that my girlfriend/boss/work mates/casual acquaintances of thirty five years ago know nothing of me now.

C) Bitter and twisted....yeah, I'll give Haslam that one.

Morrissey's only other tweet from last night was in reply to Frankie Boyle, who had tweeted, "Say what you like about Eurovision but it's always promoted tolerance. Tolerance of shit music." Moz replied, "Say what you like about the United Kingdom but it's always promoted tolerance. Tolerance of shit comedians."

 
FRANKIE BOYLE - SHIT!

Thursday May 17 2018 (The real and proper Day 2437) - Nothing to see here

May 17, 2018, 9:50 am

≫ Next: Friday May 18 2018 (The real and proper Day 2438) - Ginius.....or otherwise....Mozzer's ruin

≪ Previous: Tuesday May 15 2018 (The real and proper Day 2435) - The real, real Morrissey

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Despite my blog readership having never been so low, and despite only ever getting comments of any description from a half-cut Manchester City fan - who usually then deletes his comments once he's sobered up - and an American woman who is far too pleasant and thinks she's a cat, I soldier on. As I have written many times before, this is a historical record of Morrissey on Twitter, so although it may not be appreciated by many at this current moment in time, I have no doubt that one day in the future; when all probably won't be well at all, this blog will be of importance, and appreciated.... or something.


Before I get on to Morrissey's latest visits to Twitter, I must first make mention of yet more 'coincidences' that have occurred. Yesterday afternoon, whilst I was enjoying myself playing cricket at Shanklin; which incidentally is where Our Mozzer once said he would like to play cricket with me.... although he did later retract this saying, "It is impossible for me to play cricket, I will break for tea though"....where was I? Oh yes, Yesterday afternoon, a Youtube clip appeared on the Morrissey Central website titled, 'The Real Morrissey???'. The clip was of a Morrissey impersonator, but the relevance of the clip to our little story is the title, because the title of my blog entry of Tuesday was.....wait for it..... 'The real, real Morrissey'.



The second coincidence comes from another Youtube clip posted on Morrissey Central yesterday. It was a clip of The Smiths playing I Want the One I Can't Have. Two weeks ago, on Twitter, I had asked Morrissey to name his current three favourite Smiths songs and, as recorded on my blog entry of May 4th, the song he listed first was.....wait for it.....wait a little longer.....you know what's coming.....I Want the One I Can't Have. Morrissey (as Alfs Button) tweeted last night when I made mention of this latest coincidence,  "Yes. Nothing to see here."The reality is, there is PLENTY to see here, but unfortunately no one is looking, and those that have looked, have then dismissed the authenticity of it all, and walked away. One day these people will be kicking themselves, although they're so inept, they'll probably miss.

And so to Morrissey's latest Twitterings, which occurred last night starting at 11.08pm (UK time - I have no idea if old Mozzer is in the UK or not, but if I was having a wager on it, I would stake that he is either in the UK or at home in Switzerland. I'm probably completely wrong. Perhaps he's in Rotterdam or anywhere, Liverpool or Rome. Who knows? Who cares as long as he's in The Wrong Arms). Morrissey was on top form, and treated his 52 followers to some hilarious tweets:

"Sputter. Where is my microphone."

"Mutter. Where is my tombstone?"

In reply to the latter of those two tweets, Jesse (@MozFiend) tweeted, "Where do you want your tombstone to be? How would you like it to look? What would you like it to say?" Jesse got the following response:

"Nowhere, Nondescript, Nothing."

Jesse replied, "You don't want midnight gatherings filled with debaunched wraiths dancing at your gravesite?" Morrissey replied:

"I suppose my death should be a facsimile of my life".

Jesse replied again tweeting, "Then your ghost will sing for us at your burial site?", to which Morrissey rather humorously came back with:

"Just ever so slightly out of tune." 



Jesse continued the conversation by apologising for being silly and embarrassing herself, to which Morrissey replied with the quote of the day:

"There is no embarrassment online otherwise Cheryl Bowel Movement Incontinence would be a hermit".


CHERYL BOWEL MOVEMENT-INCONTINENCE

Mozzer's second best quote of the day came in reply to Marcus the Greek (@PapaSonsFilm), who had tweeted a picture of Aston Villa footballers, Jack Grealish and John Terry. Our Mozzer responded to it by tweeting:

"One of these looks like a melting waxwork of a gnome and the older one looks like a White Van Man nonce."


 
JACK 'MELTING GNOME' GREALISH AND JOHN ' WHITE VAN MAN NONCE' TERRY


Marcus replied, "Ha ha! You should have been a comedy writer", to which Moz tweeted:

"I hear it doesn't take much. Sometimes no talent required."

Here are the rest of OM's Twitter highlights from last night:

"We look to Windsor this weekend and gag. The Royal Dreading must, must, must, go ahead despite the growing disinterest from the general public. The crowds will be paid plants."

"My one wish for Ramadan is that IS target Windsor."


ISLAMIC STATE (IS) TERRORISTS - REQUIRED BY OUR MOZZER TO BE IN WINDSOR THIS WEEKEND

Morrissey finished his evening on Twitter by doing what every other Twitter user does, playing hashtag games. One of the trending hashtags was EndaRelationshipInFourWords, to which Morrissey tweeted the following three suggestions:

"Morrissey matters more darling"

"I voted Labour once"

"I've converted to Islam"

For the hashtag LoveInTheCountryside, OM tweeted:

"Is this the name of Bill Oddie's sex tape?"

Jesse replied to this by tweeting, "A sex tape of him could blind, maim or kill the unsuspecting", to which Mozzer replied:

"And they would pray for such an outcome."


BILL ODDIE

Although I missed Morrissey in The Wrong Arms yesterday, I did manage to have a brief exchange with him earlier today. I was keen to know if he still thought as highly of George Galloway as he did a couple of years ago, but I didn't get far. Here is our conversation:

ME: Two years ago you spoke supportingly of George Galloway. Do you still feel the same about him?

MOZ: Which me? The real me, or the real real me? To imitate ones true self for over seven years is terribly confusing. 

ME: Don't we know it! I have no idea when you are being the real you, the real real you or the parody you. Anyway, whichever you you currently are, what are your thoughts on Galloway? I really don't see anything other than a c**t in c**ts clothing.

MOZ: Takes a c**t to know a c**t

And then he was gone.

Friday May 18 2018 (The real and proper Day 2438) - Ginius.....or otherwise....Mozzer's ruin

May 18, 2018, 6:58 am

≫ Next: Monday May 21 2018 (The real and proper Day 2441) - Oh mutter I can feel the soil falling over my head.....Mutterlein, Splutterlein

≪ Previous: Thursday May 17 2018 (The real and proper Day 2437) - Nothing to see here

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Just after 9pm yesterday evening (UK time....although apparently Morrissey has recently been spotted in Berlin, so 10pm Berlin time), Morrissey once again entered The Wrong Arms in the guise of Alfs Button. It transpired that he may have been a tad pissed, which was rather amusing. His first tweet of the evening was a shot at me:

"I find FTMs blog titles extremely boring and dull. @TheRatsBack must improve."

Today's blog entry has two titles, so hopefully one of them might mildly amuse His Mozness.

Here are some more of Morrissey's tweets:

"@KimKardashian is living proof that beauty cannot be bought, whatever the budget."





"On my fourth gin down and I begin to ponder - what was so unsatisfactory at the third that I need a forth? Is this how Beethoven felt?"

"Hunt "royal""life" not Free Life."

"I give you advice and I often self medicate. However I am no doctor or philosopher."

"In years to come artists will attempt to create a scene from the musical debris I left behind. They will fail. Nobody will realise."




"Alas death can be pleasurable. However once committed we are no longer allowed choice for more. That is one of the cruel tricks of life."

Mozzer then took a swipe at Marcus the Greek, telling him that there was still time for him to develop a funny bone. Marcus took exception to this and tweeted, "You must be drunk. The sober Morrissey is much sharper." Morrissey replied, "Please see aforementioned post regarding Gins."
Marcus came back with, "Your grammar is all over the place. No more gin. This could get very embarrassing", to which a numb fingered Moz replied, "Has it not been embarrassing before Marxus (sic)?" - if tweets could slur, then Mozzers were slurring. This is EXACTLY how a tortured genius of the 21st century should be - drunk tweeting. Beautiful!



Marcus continued the conversation by tweeting, "I guess you can always delete the tweets or the entire account in the morning", to which M replied, "One would never do that. If I could I would have deleted Kill Uncle may moons ago." Marcus then asked, "Is this a cry for help?" to which Morrissey replied, "I think your wife has been crying that silent cry for years now."- drunk or not, and despite what Marcus may have perceived, Moz was as witty as ever.

Jesse then chipped in tweeting, "An inebriated Morrissey is still sharper than the rest of us", to which Moz replied, "A dead Morrissey is still sharper than 48% of Britain."That dig at the 48% who voted Remain made me laugh, but it was too much for Remainer Marcus, who tweeted, "God. This is painful." Morrissey replied to this with, "Now now, I was a comedian last night but tonight I am one gin away from career suicide?" Marcus rather wittingly came back with, "Not possible. Gin is temporary. Genius permanent." Morrissey obviously found that tweet funny too, and replied, "You've redeemed yourself in my eyes with this tweet. Carry on."

Final Score:

Pissed Mozzer 3 Marcus the Greek 1

There was another appearance in The Arms from Mozzer this morning, just before Midday....or just before 1pm to those in mainland Europe. He was obviously bored, which I get the feeling is a rather common state at present. Here are his tweets:

"Would anyone care to participate in a game of tiddlywinks?"

I replied that I was up for Scrabble, but my limitations were four letter words, to which he rather wittingly replied, "Don't push yourself."

When Nat (@HoarsleyCry) said that she would play tiddlywinks as long as they didn't stick to the rules, Morrissey replied, "We will be adhering to the modified rules ratified at the 2001 meeting of the national tiddlywinks association."This made me laugh, but when I googled it, I discovered that there really were modified rules passed in 2001, and tweeted to say this. M replied, "I know. I have read them."He really is bored!


NAT TAKES ON MOZZER IN A GAME OF TIDDLYWINKS - 2001 RULES.

Monday May 21 2018 (The real and proper Day 2441) - Oh mutter I can feel the soil falling over my head.....Mutterlein, Splutterlein

May 21, 2018, 7:04 am

≫ Next: Tuesday May 22 2018 (The real and proper Day 2442) - Happy Birthday, Mozzer

≪ Previous: Friday May 18 2018 (The real and proper Day 2438) - Ginius.....or otherwise....Mozzer's ruin

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Over the weekend a number of announcements were posted on the Morrissey Central website. These announcements included confirmation of a long running rumour that All The Young People Must Fall In Love will be released as the fourth single from Low In High School, but even more exciting than that are announcements that Morrissey is to play concerts in July in Manchester (x2), Berlin and Rattvik.

As it currently stands I don't think I will be able to make it to any of the four concerts, but if things change, then who knows. The concert in Rattvik, Sweden, should be particularly special as it is taking place in the breathtaking Dalhalla Arena, which is a former limestone quarry.



Twitter user Dan 'Ricky' Abnormal (@nothappysad75) immediately linked the announcement of the concerts to Morrissey's (as @AlfsButton) first tweet of last Wednesday, in which M tweeted, "Splutter. Where is my microphone?" Dan tweeted, "Quite a hint", but he then backtracked by tweeting, "That microphone tweet doesn't prove its Morrissey. Lucky guess." This seems to be Dan's role in the MorrisseysWorld story - he brings to our attention a 'coincidence' that we may have missed, and then goes on to ridicule us for thinking that it actually might mean something. It makes me smile because if Ricky Dan really thought the 'coincidences'weren't relevant then, WHY BOTHER TO POINT THEM OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE? I think I should rename him 'Dan, Dan the contradictory coincidence finding man'.

And whilst on the subject of coincidences, Morrissey's second tweet of last Wednesday was, "Mutter. Where is my tombstone?"and what should appear on Morrissey Central over the weekend....... a couple of new photos of Morrissey leaning on.....wait for it....the tombstone of Nico and her mütter/mother.









As coincidences go, the tweeting of "mutter" and "tombstone" in the same sentence just days prior to a photo appearing of Morrissey next to a tombstone of Nico and her mütter, Margarete, is HUGE, HUGE, HUGE, and when I tweeted earlier today to point it out, even Ricky Dan was agog, tweeting, "I'm actually speechless." He went on to admit that he couldn't possibly see it as just a coincidence.

Dan wasn't the only one impressed by the 'mutter' tweet. Twitter user Wolf66 (@Uffe_Sirkka) tweeted, "I'm convinced by the Tombstone coincidence and up for a round of Tiddlywinks (loppspel) at Dalhalla."

Will others now realise, at last, that this really is Morrissey? Probably not! In fact, I was tweeted by someone using the twitter name @JulietteAdAstra earlier today who wrote, "I asked your 'Morrissey' a question only he (assuming he is the real deal) and I know the answer to. He got it wrong. Nevertheless, I'll keep watching this whole thing for the entertainment value. Hats off to whoever's behind this, it's the most delicious fun."
And there we have it, despite 'muttering tombstones' and hundreds of other pieces of evidence that would prove beyond all reasonable doubt to the man in the street that this really IS Morrissey, it can't possibly be because he answered a question wrongly. That sort of logic reminds me of a piece I wrote about logic five years ago.

Nico is buried in a woodland cemetery (cemetry?) in Berlin. She would have been 80 this year, but died in 1988 after falling off a punctured bicycle on a desolate hillside in Ibiza. Morrissey will be playing his Berlin concert in the same week as the 30th anniversary of her death. As to who will be in the band, I guess we will just have to wait and see.


There was no tweeting by Morrissey over the weekend, but he did appear today to warn me, "if your next blog has the word tour in the title I will be livid beyond belief." He then came back a little later after I had pointed out the relevance of the 'mutter tombstone' tweet, to tweet, "Oh mutter I can feel the soil falling over my head."..... and there we have today's title!

---

Tuesday May 22 2018 (The real and proper Day 2442) - Happy Birthday, Mozzer

May 22, 2018, 2:59 am

≫ Next: Thursday May 24 2018 (The real and proper Day 2444) - Stupid and dumb

≪ Previous: Monday May 21 2018 (The real and proper Day 2441) - Oh mutter I can feel the soil falling over my head.....Mutterlein, Splutterlein

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Today is Morrissey's 59th birthday. A year ago today both Morrissey's birthplace and vocation were attacked by an Islamic terrorist. The death of 22 innocent people; mainly children, at a pop concert in Manchester quite obviously, and quite understandably, had a huge effect on Morrissey, and led to him making a strong statement expressing his anger.



Although there was nothing controversial in Morrissey's anger-filled statement, the fall-out from it was quite incredible, with so called Morrissey fans turning against him on social media as they chose to believe the misguided words of the Morrissey hating journalists and jealous fools like Billy Bragg and Martin Rossiter.

As the anti-Moz momentum gathered, the fools all turned into Social Justice Warriors (SJWs), getting a thrill out of looking cool in their small group, without ever stopping to think about the truth, and without ever stopping to think about the real issue - terrorism on the streets of Britain.

A lesser person might have been crushed by such nasty, vicious and completely inaccurate attacks, but not Morrissey. Rather than let these cunts kill him off, Morrissey has stood firm. Bragg and the rest of the loony left offer NOTHING other than 'prayers and thoughts' to the victims of attacks by the Islamic State, whereas Morrissey has been brave enough to actually risk his career by standing up to the terrorists. Morrissey has recently planted himself firmly next to Anne-Marie Waters and her For Britain party - the only political party who are prepared to speak out against Islam. By doing so, Morrissey is standing up for Manchester, he is standing up for those in the entertainment business and he is standing up for a Britain that is under attack.

Bragg & Co have, of course, labelled Britain First a bunch of racists, but this hasn't deterred Morrissey, because unlike Bragg, Morrissey isn't prepared to stand by and do NOTHING whilst Britain is attacked by these evil people. The attack in Manchester last May could very easily have happened at a Morrissey concert, and Morrissey realises that if nothing is done to stop these terrorists, it could still happen at a Morrissey concert. It could also happen at a Billy Bragg concert, but Billy is more interested in looking 'right on' than actually doing anything to prevent it.

The announcement of the upcoming Morrissey concert in Manchester on July 7th made mention of 'invited guests'. This may be a reference to a support act, but I wonder if we might see Anne Marie Waters giving a speech. It would be yet another brave move by Morrissey, but he has ALWAYS stood by his convictions, and that is why he is admired by so many.

I am prouder than ever to be a Morrissey fan, and whether he likes it or not, I wish him a very happy birthday. My gift is a Youtube clip of I Need Your Love Tonight by Elvis, which was Number 1 (as a double A side) on the day Morrissey was born:

Thursday May 24 2018 (The real and proper Day 2444) - Stupid and dumb

May 24, 2018, 9:43 am

≫ Next: Saturday May 26 2018 (The real and proper Day 2446) - Frightening

≪ Previous: Tuesday May 22 2018 (The real and proper Day 2442) - Happy Birthday, Mozzer

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This is just a quickie because I am rushed off my feet with things in the real world.

A couple of days ago an interview was published in which Sparks singer, Russell Mael is quoted as saying about Morrissey:

"I'm totally in agreement with anybody being disillusioned because I am as well. It seems so inconsistent, all these perspectives that he has on various issues, just stupid, dumb kind of things. I obviously don't agree with any of these things. They're just so ill-conceived and wrong."

Obviously the quotes may not be true, but if they are, it is very disappointing that Mael; just like so many others, has been sucked-in by mainstream media headlines. Mael doesn't actually state what exactly it is that he finds "inconsistent" or what words of Morrissey's are "stupid and dumb" or what it is that he doesn't agree with. He also doesn't state what it is that is "ill-conceived and wrong".

It is sad enough that the average pleb in the street is sucked-in by the media bullshit, but when someone who you think wouldn't fall for it does, one can't help but feel truly, truly disappointed.... or maybe I have got it wrong, and Mael hasn't been sucked-in, but simply doesn't agree with Morrissey's view on Islamic terrorists. Perhaps Mael sympathises with them. Who knows, but if anyone is looking stupid and dumb here, it is Russell Mael.

LEFT TO RIGHT: RON, MOZ, RUSSELL

In other news, someone called Moby has also apparently taken a shot at Morrissey, but as I don't know anything about Moby and have no interest whatsoever in his ill-informed viewpoint, I haven't bothered to read what he has said.

In other, other news, there has been no sign of Our Mozzer in The Wrong Arms in the past few days, although he did 'like' a tweet I posted yesterday, so he is keeping his eye on things. For anyone who may be remotely interested, the tweet he liked was:

"I Know It's Over would have been a perfect song for Nico to cover - I can even hear her singing it....and changing 'mother' to 'mütter'." - M obviously hears it too.

Saturday May 26 2018 (The real and proper Day 2446) - Frightening

May 26, 2018, 2:54 am

≫ Next: Tuesday May 29 2018 (The real and proper Day 2449) - Play Up Pompey

≪ Previous: Thursday May 24 2018 (The real and proper Day 2444) - Stupid and dumb

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Once again I don't really have time to write a blog entry today, but something happened in Britain yesterday that I feel I have to write about, because it is frightening.

Yesterday morning, the broadcaster and political activist, Tommy Robinson (aka Stephen Yaxley-Lennon), turned up outside Leeds Crown Court to do a report on the sentencing (not the trial) of a gang of Islamic rapists. On the order of Judge Geoffrey Marson, Robinson was arrested - on the trumped-up charge of Breach of the Peace - and thrown in prison. For this to happen in Britain should be a concern to EVERYONE. Forget your political preferences and put aside what you might think of Tommy Robinson, the actions of the state in this instance is FRIGHTENING. It's the sort of thing we expect to see happen in Russia or North Korea but NOT in the UK.

Those on the left of the political spectrum; such as the self-obsessed Guardian journalist, Owen Jones, and the despicable George Galloway, are celebrating the imprisonment of Robinson, which just goes to prove that they have NO interest in freedom of speech and NO interest in civil liberties, unless it is on their terms. They are charlatans and frauds.

Also frightening is that there has been a news blackout on Robinson's arrest, and the only way people are getting to hear about this major injustice is on social media. Such is the outrage, that people are going to gather in Whitehall today at 3pm to protest against the arrest and imprisonment of Tommy Robinson. Will this demonstration be reported in the media? I very much doubt it. It is ALL horrifying.

Meanwhile, in the world of Morrissey, tickets went on sale yesterday for Morrissey's two concerts at Manchester's Castlefield Bowl. I have no idea how ticket sales are going, but one person on Twitter called Tony Donaldson (@teedee74) tweeted yesterday to state that because Morrissey has recently aligned himself with For Britain and their leader, Anne-Marie Waters, he believes ticket sales will be slow and stated that he won't be going. He added, "I'm not the only one...seen him in Glasgow, London, Manc, Munich, Krakow, Prague, Dublin...Will always listen to him but now pay £75..to mention Anne Marie Waters?"

I replied to Donaldson with, "So, you believe Morrissey shouldn't speak out about the barbarism of Islam because it might smear his lovely career? You obviously weren't listening to those lyrics of Crashing Bores. Bravo to Moz for putting his career on the line to speak out - he's ALWAYS spoken out."

And it is true what I tweeted, Morrissey really has put his career on the line by speaking out against Islamic terrorism. Many of Morrissey's fans are people on the left of the political spectrum, and these people want to believe that love is enough to make everything right, so for Morrissey to take a stance on these terrorists, they have backed away .....ironically using words full of hate, not love.

One thing that Donaldson is right about, is that in the good old days Morrissey would have sold out The Castlefield Bowl in a flash,  but here are the five main reasons why this hasn't happened:


1. The anti-Morrissey media - the words of the media have greatly influenced people, and many now truly believe that Morrissey is racist.

2. Social Justice Warriors - people such as Tony Donaldson and Peter 'Uncle Skinny' Finan have influenced people, and made them believe that it is 'cool' to no longer like Morrissey. Every one of these people who have labelled Morrissey a racist have damaged his career.

3. Fear of Islamic attack - the bombing of a pop concert in Manchester last year WILL have put people off attending events like Castlefield. People are scared.

4. Short notice - for many people; me included, the relatively short notice is a factor in not being able to attend.

5. Recent attendance - Many Morrissey fans attended concerts in March in the UK, and will therefore have made the decision not to go again so soon.

The ticket price of £75 may be a decision maker for some, but it certainly didn't stop the concerts in March selling out, and tickets for the London Palladium were £100.


That's all I have time for today. It is both worrying and sad that Britain is in such a state. It is disappointing that so many Morrissey fans can't see the truth.

Free Tommy Robinson.

Tuesday May 29 2018 (The real and proper Day 2449) - Play Up Pompey

May 29, 2018, 4:32 am

≫ Next: Friday June 1st 2018 (The real and proper Day 2452) - "I will be here after we have all gone"

≪ Previous: Saturday May 26 2018 (The real and proper Day 2446) - Frightening

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Our Mozzer has come out in support of the journalist/political activist/political prisoner, Tommy Robinson, who, as I wrote on Saturday, was arrested and jailed last Friday having done absolutely nothing illegal.

Mozzer (as @Alfsbutton) took to Twitter  yesterday afternoon and tweeted :

"Free Tommy Robinson"



Morrissey's 'Free Tommy Robinson' tweet was replied to by a tweeter called Garrett (@MRLennon__40), who wrote, "whats sad is you cant even look up what happened without being piled with useless rhetoric from the left and right. mainly left of course but still i digress". Mozzer responded with, "The modern malady", to which Garrett came back with, "gotta dig it baby, this is the modern world".  This reply obviously amused Mozzer, and he tweeted back to Garrett, "You have raised my lip 45 degrees on the left side".




It takes a lot for anyone to interest Our Mozzer on Twitter, let alone make him half-smile, so I immediately became suspicious of this Garrett character, and let my suspicions be known. M initially replied to my tweet of suspicion with, "I'm suspicious this is you", and also posted a video of Elvis singing Suspicious Minds in Vegas, but when I tweeted to say that I suspect Garrett to be one of his rock n roll chums, he replied, "Joyce?".
I shall keep an eye on Garrett, but I'm sure I will never discover his/her true identity. It's all fun and games.

Morrissey remained on Twitter for a while yesterday afternoon, and although he seemed in a fairly jovial mood, he wasn't up for engaging conversation. For instance, when I told him that I thought Johnny Marr's new song, Hi Hello was A) There Is A Light Part 2 B) A nod to Morrissey C) A good song D) A song that perhaps Morrissey might consider covering, I got no reply.

When Manc Lad (@mancladmozfan) tweeted to insist that Morrissey's Saturday night show at Castlefield Bowl would sell out, and that he knew a few people who hadn't yet gotten around to buying their tickets yet, Moz wittingly replied, "Waiting for giro day?"




The rest of OM's tweets were centred around the Tommy Robinson story. I replied to Mozzer's initial tweet of 'Free Tommy Robinson' by tweeting, "It really is very frightening. If it had been Owen Jones thrown in jail, you can bet your bottom dollar there would have been no media blackout." A tweeter called Mark (@towergreen) replied to this with, "To be fair, Owen Jones doesn't preach hate", to which Morrissey replied, "Neither does he challenge hate."I replied to Mark too, tweeting, "Tommy Robinson fights for justice. He has been incorrectly 'labelled' by the media. Don't fall for it.". Morrissey obviously agreed with me, as he 'liked' my tweet. He also retweeted a cartoon drawn by Ben Garrison of Tommy Robinson being carted off to jail by a Muslim rapist and a Politically Correct Policeman.




Morrissey also tweeted a Youtube clip of him singing The National Front Disco at the Hollywood Bowl. If this song had been written last year and not in 1992, it could quite possibly have been about a character called Raymond going off to join IS.

Actually, if Morrissey were to add The National Front Disco into his next set, and change the words from 'David' to 'Raymond', 'England for the English' to 'England for the IS' and 'You've gone to the National Front disco' to 'You've gone to the Islamic State disco', would the likes of Martin Rossiter finally understand the meaning of the song? Probably not!



RAYMOND MATIMBA OF MANCHESTER, WHO LEFT HOME TO JOIN ISIS - A MODERN DAY DAVID


There has been no word of support for Tommy Robinson from 'Official Morrissey' but that is hardly surprising. Morrissey's backing for Anne-Marie Waters and her For Britain Party has undoubtedly; and very unfairly, done a lot of damage to Morrissey's UK support, so for him to publicly support Tommy Robinson could do further damage..... although actually, maybe it wouldn't, maybe it might actually have a positive effect. Thinking about it logically, all the lily livered politically correct bods have already disowned Morrissey, so the ones who remain are the fair minded, balanced lot, and public support of Tommy wouldn't send these people running to the hills. In fact, as over 500,000 people have now signed a petition for the release of Robinson, publicly supporting him might actually do Morrissey a whole lot of good. Well, I wonder....




Morrissey returned to Twitter at 12.17am this morning to tweet, "Lighthouse gin has been my most successful venture to date." I do love it when Moz hits the bottle!

Morrissey also returned to Twitter earlier today, after it had been announced that he will play Portsmouth Guildhall on July 10th. I was unable to control my excitement, and had tweeted, "PLAY UP POMPEY! @Alfsbutton I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU", to which he replied, "Whatever next? Isle of Wight Community Club?" I replied, "The way you're managing to shed your fan base, you'd struggle to sell it out", to which he came back with,"Yet they are still here...."

And indeed we AREstill here, THOUSANDS of us, and all very happy to still be here. Those who have turned their backs on Morrissey are fools. Those who have walked away (although ironically most haven't actually walked away, and are still hanging around on social media obsessively writing about Morrissey) are the ones whose lives will be worse off for not benefitting from the joys that a Morrissey concert brings..... and all because they let themselves get hoodwinked by a couple of journalists from The Guardian and Independent.

And whilst on the subject of The Guardian and the Independent, Morrissey has used positive quotes from those two particular newspapers to publicise the ticket sales for Portsmouth. Oh, what a wag old Mozzer is. Hilarious!



That will do for today. I really can't believe that Morrissey is going to come to Portsmouth. I sent him a Twitter DM earlier which read, "Call me a deluded old fool, but I know you are playing Portsmouth for me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You are very kind." He replied, "You are a deluded old fool."

Roll on July 10th.

FREE TOMMY ROBINSON

Friday June 1st 2018 (The real and proper Day 2452) - "I will be here after we have all gone"

June 1, 2018, 10:20 am

≫ Next: Monday June 4 2018 (The real and proper Day 2455) - "Evil is the food of genius"

≪ Previous: Tuesday May 29 2018 (The real and proper Day 2449) - Play Up Pompey

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Our Mozzer (as @Alfsbutton) paid a visit to The Wrong Arms late last night and stayed from 10.15 to 12.40am...we had an extended licence.

Moz appeared to be in good spirits, and interacted with a number of the regulars, including, Garrett (@MRLennon__40); who I still think might be one of Mozzers showbiz buddies, and also Contradictory Ricky Dan (@nothappysad75) who I am now absolutely 100% convinced is Ricky Gervais....although I have been known to get one or two things wrong....but not this time!

RICKY 'CONTRADICTORY DAN' GERVAIS.....WHO IS ALSO QUITE POSSIBLY @BOBOGERVAIS ON TWITTER - HE HAS MORE PESSOAS THAN MOZZER


Moz started his session by posting a Youtube clip of LBC's Maajid Nawaz talking about how the word Islamophobia should be scrapped. To hear this from Maajid will no doubt completely confuse the Social Justice Warriors, but their leader, Owen Jones will no doubt tell them how to react to it.



I responded to Morrissey's posting of the clip by tweeting that I like Nawaz, and find him a level headed and balanced person. Moz replied, "He will probably be silenced soon enough. Religion does not allow for rational thought."


And on the subject of Owen Jones, he was next up on Mozzer's tweet list. Responding to a ridiculous anti-Tommy Robinson/anti-free speech piece written by Jones for The Guardian, Morrissey tweeted:

"Oh Owen. An Oxford education clearly doesn't make you intelligent. You are on the wring side of history and on the wrong side of Muslim grooming gangs. Sorry, does the word Muslim offend you?"

When Garrett replied, "citing the guardian....real player huh", Morrissey responded with, "I'm scything the guardian if anything."

Here are a few more of Mozzer's tweets:

"I assume everyone has noticed that Diane Abbot always looks to the skies when answering a question. Her answers are plucked from thin air and her thinning hair."

I replied, "Hairist", to which Our Mozzer came back with, "I am so used to hearing another word like that."I then tweeted, ""With every its and every ism". Those deserters who all sang along at the top of their voices were failing to actually listen to the words." Moz then replied with quite possibly one of his best quotes ever, which I have used as today's blog title:

"Not just words. Messages, secrets, history, truth. I sang their life and then their life changed. Or they pretend it has. I am still here. I will be here after we have all gone."





"It is impossible to lift me up.....psychologically and emotionally you understand. Not in the weight sense. I'm not Peter Kay just yet."





"I once said Richard Madley had married his mother. He now appears to be dressing like his son who has gone on an innocent night out in soho and returned home with a tattoo of a swallow."





"@ToplessMoz is the most erotic account on Twotter. Which is remarkable considering Piers Morgan has an account."

In reply, Contrary Dan tweeted, "I've heard @rickygervais is behind that account. Nothing better to do", to which M came back with, "That account would not hide Gervais." Dan replied, "True. However, there is a photo of Morrissey in a bathtub. Just saying."

Hmmm...


RICKY GERVAIS - BIG BONED BATH DWELLER

In reply to me suggesting to Moz that Garrett (@MRLennon__40) is, "One of your lot", M replied:

"A masculine lonesome traveller?"

Just before leaving for the night, Mozzer tweeted,"So I must inform you I am entering Rear of the Year 2018. Please vote using the red button."


And finally, my ticket has been purchased for Portsmouth. All those who have denounced Morrissey in the past few months because they think they look cool doing so, will miss out. They lose.

Monday June 4 2018 (The real and proper Day 2455) - "Evil is the food of genius"

June 4, 2018, 5:32 am

≫ Next: Thursday June 7 2018 - Hidden in plain sight (The real and proper Day 2458)

≪ Previous: Friday June 1st 2018 (The real and proper Day 2452) - "I will be here after we have all gone"

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The last few weeks have been absolutely manic for me, with a number of family 'issues' taking up a lot of my time. On top of that I have also been: putting together a business merger, organising & playing cricket matches, carrying out the job for which I am paid, buying into a new business venture and packing up all my worldly goods in readiness for this month's house move. I also been doing tip runs galore and carting car loads of stuff to charity shops.  Finding time to write this blog has been challenging to say the least, but despite last Friday being the day of the business merge, I somehow found time to write a blog entry. The reason I was so keen to blog on Friday was because Morrissey (as Alfsbutton on Twitter) had given a wonderful quote that I wanted to report on as soon as possible, just in case the account got deleted, as has happened in the past. As I have stated a number of times over the past six (nearly seven) years, I truly believe FTM will become some sort of historical record; or if nothing else, an interesting story of the interaction that took place between Morrissey and a dozen of his fans that the masses refused to believe was real, so I don't want to miss recording anything.

I take great pleasure in writing this blog, in fact, it probably gives me more pleasure than anything else; not just because of the reasons already stated, but also because I would always have loved to have been a writer, and so this is my way of fulfilling that dream....although the pay isn't quite what I would have liked it to be.

I also get a huge buzz knowing that Morrissey enjoys this blog. On a few occasions he has even sent me messages via Twitter asking when I am going to publish....although I am sure he would NEVER admit to such a thing. 

I still can't quite believe this is all happening, after all, I only ever started writing Following The Mozziah as a personal diary to record my suspicions that a blog and Twitter account called MorrisseysWorld might actually be the work of Morrissey himself. Who would have thought it would lead to this?

Anyway, back to last Friday, and that blog entry that I really had no time to write, but did so because A) Morrissey had given a particularly brilliant quote that I was excited to report on B) This is history in the making C) Writing this blog gives me more pleasure than anything else D) Morrissey enjoys reading my blog E) There is NO E. Having published the blog at 6.20pm, I linked it on Twitter and waited to see if anyone would place a comment. Three hours later I gave up waiting. Five hours later Morrissey took to Twitter and sent me the following message:

"Please wait until you have more time before writing that blog of yours. It needs more care."

 One minute later, Garrett (@MRLennon__40) appeared from nowhere to tweet:

"kinda agreed, ya missed some goodies from yesterday"

Thirty seconds later Contradictory Ricky Dan appeared from nowhere to tweet:

"It was lame as fuck."

Everyone's a bleedin' critic! 

At this point I should write, why do I bother, but of course I bother because it matters, and in fairness to my critics, Friday's blog entry was rather rushed (unsurprisingly!), but apart from mistakingly referring to Contradictory Ricky Dan as Contrary Ricky Dan, I didn't think it was that bad a blog entry. As for the "goodies" I didn't report on, the only tweets of Our Mozzer's that didn't get a mention were the ones where he posted photographs of three actresses called June following his tweet of, "June, June, June", plus some interaction with Garrett. Admittedly the posting of the three actresses was quite funny, especially as "June, June, June" is an ongoing MorrisseysWorld theme*, which incidentally in previous years has meant Morrissey related announcements and nothing whatsoever to do with ageing British actresses, but nonetheless, was my omission of the June tweet really such a heinous crime?

For those wondering, the June's in question were: Brown, Whitfield and Chadwick. I had never heard of Chadwick before, but apparently she played the character of Lydia in V: The Series - which was an Sci fi series from the 1980s.

JUNE CHADWICK IN V: THE SERIES

When Morrissey posted the photo of June Chadwick, I asked him who it was and he replied, "I refuse to answer the question. Next!" Garrett then interjected, "And what has Lydia have to do with this mess?" Morrissey replied, "You're far too young to know this. Who are you really?" Moz then tweeted to me, "Apparently @MRLennon__40 is aware. He must be the youngest looking 89 year old in the world."

Here is the rest of Our Mozzer's interation with Garrett:

MOZ: June, June, June

GARRETT: Doing anything fun in june?

MOZ: I have no idea what that word means.

GARRETT: Sorry, should I ask that in more apocalyptic terms?

MOZ: A gentleman would not ask at all.

For both Morrissey and the mysterious Garrett to criticise my blog entry for omitting those short conversations must mean Garrett is a somebody....but who? And how would Morrissey know that Garrett was too young to remember V: The Series? Hmm...

Morrissey posted just one solitary tweet over the weekend. At 3.46pm yesterday afternoon he wrote:

"Evil is the food of genius."- there was no explanation.

Following Contradictory Ricky Dan's tweet that my blog entry of Friday was, "lame as fuck", I replied, "You write it then", to which he responded, "Me?  "He certainly didn't spend much time putting Humanity together..." 14 weeks of blood, sweat and tears my friend."

Did I really write that quote about Humanity? I've just read back through my two FTM entries (here and here) where I wrote about my theory of Contradictory Dan being Ricky Gervais, and I can't find the quote. If I did write it, it must have been on Twitter. It obviously struck a nerve! Is my theory right? No one else has backed it - it looks like I am on my own with this one. 

Whoever Dan really is, I like him, and he is certainly very good at putting the misguided Moz haters right on Twitter. He also continues to contradict, contradict, contradict. He made me laugh with a tweet on Friday night which read, "I'm right that it's not Morrissey. I just sense it", which came after I had sent him a DM which read, "I'm right about you, I just sense it." I also sent him a DM to apologise for calling him a, "fat cunt" on Twitter, and informed him that he was, in fact, just "sturdy". He replied, "Big boned" and then added, "Imposing". I replied, "Big boned cunt just doesn't work the same way, to which he very wittingly came back with, "Imposing cunt on the other hand does". IT'S HIM I TELL YER!

It was yesterday announced on Morrissey Central that a Morrissey compilation album is to be released on July 6th titled, This Is Morrissey. This is a very pleasant surprise. The LP is being released on vinyl and download - no mention of CD or streaming. The tracks include the Mael Mix of Suedehead, which is all well and good, except that just a few weeks ago, Russell Mael was, reportedly, slagging Morrissey off.

Right then, that will do for today. The critics will no doubt slam my work once again, but why should I care? And now, in my glamour-filled life, I shall return to packing boxes.

*"June, June, June" was first tweeted by Morrissey (as Alf) in December 2014 (as discussed in the comments section of Day 1230 in January 2015 ) - it turned out to be a clue to Morrissey appearing at Firefly in June 2015. In April 2016 I wrote about June June June with a loose connection to the book Three Junes. In April 2017 Morrissey (as @seminalartist) again repeated the "June, June, June tweet, and this time it was a hint that a new album was to be recorded in June.

Thursday June 7 2018 - Hidden in plain sight (The real and proper Day 2458)

June 7, 2018, 9:20 am

≫ Next: Tuesday June 12 2018 - A twelve minute wonder from the new Fletcher Lynd (The real and proper Day 2463)

≪ Previous: Monday June 4 2018 (The real and proper Day 2455) - "Evil is the food of genius"

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On Monday May 28 Our Mozzer (as @Alfsbutton) tweeted, "Free Tommy Robinson". I wrote about the tweet the following day on this wonderful blog of mine. The real Morrissey had NEVER made mention in public of the broadcaster/political activist, Tommy Robinson.

On Tuesday June 5 a new Morrissey interview was published on Tremr.com - the interview was conducted by Fiona Dodwell. In the interview Morrissey stated, "It's very obvious that Labour or the Tories do not believe in free speech... I mean, look at the shocking treatment of Tommy Robinson."

Coincidence? YESSSSS!


TOMMY ROBINSON - FIRST MENTIONED BY MORRISSEY ON TWITTER AS ALFSBUTTON


On Thursday February 1 2018 Our Mozzer (as @DawnTheSecond) tweeted about Paloma Faith's voice as follows, "I do not think it's a voice. More a distressed chime. Or am I describing myself? One can hardly tell these days. I blame the sound of the lighthouse seagulls."I wrote about the tweet the following day on this mesmerizing blog of mine. The real Morrissey had NEVER made mention in public of 'seagull sound'.

In the interview published on Tuesday, Morrissey stated, "I don't think I sound like anyone else, and this is often a traumatic problem... because modern music and modern radio must have a common seagull sound".

Coincidence? YESSSS!




Morrissey continues to tweet whilst hidden in plain sight, but will anyone who hasn't already realised sit up and take note following these latest 'coincidences'? NO, of course not!

This latest interview is one of the best ones in years, with lots of wit and lots of good quotes, but all that anyone seems interested in discussing online is Morrissey's heinous crime of mentioning the name, Tommy Robinson; a mention that expressed NO opinion whatsoever about Robinson himself or what he stands for, Morrissey merely stated that treatment of Robinson had been shocking, which indeed it has been - in fact so shocking that over half a million people have signed a petition insisting he be released from prison.

The online 'news' outlets and the Social Justice Warriors who have spent the past 48 hours screaming hysterically, "racist, racist, racist" in Morrissey's direction are repeating their behaviour from last October, when Morrissey happened to mention the name Anne Marie Waters; again without actually mentioning at that stage whether he supported her or not. Have we really reached the point where you can't actually say somebody's name without it being presumed that you support that person. If this is the case, anyone who dares to utter the name Adolf Hitler or Beryl Reid is, by the definition of the press and SJWs, a supporter.



What is interesting is that Morrissey is currently under attack equally by both the right wing press and the left wing press, which pretty much gives the conclusion that his views are central - which is probably one of the reasons why he named his website Morrissey Central. In the interview with Ms Dodwell, Morrissey states, "I don't think the word 'racist' has any meaning any more, other than to say "you don't agree with me, so you're a racist." People can be utterly, utterly stupid." It's true of course, and those people he was referring to have once again proven his point.

Also in the interview Morrissey ridicules the press for snobbery and the tiresome headline of 'Bigmouth Strikes Again'; which is wheeled out every single time he says something new, and right on cue, the snobby sounding Sebastian Murphy-Bates yesterday published a piece for the Daily Mail with the headline, 'Bigmouth Strikes AGAIN!'..... it's all so VERY dull, dull, dull.

Quite a lot of people jumped on the anti-Morrissey bandwagon yesterday, including the lead singer of The Charlatans, Tim Burgess, who tweeted, "The irony of Morrissey being a gammon." Gammon is a modern day insult which is used by those who 'think' they are on the left of the political spectrum, to insult people who they see as racist, white, middle-aged men who voted to leave the EU. The best comeback to Burgess's 'gammon' tweet came from Morrissey impersonator, Paul Freeyourself (@Viva__Morrissey) who replied to Burgess, "You do realise that you insulting Morrissey is like an extra from Hollyoaks insulting Laurence Olivier?".

I must confess, I am disappointed in Burgess, I thought he was one of the was more intelligent ones. I was wrong - The irony of Burgess being a charlatan.



BURGESS - HOLLYOAKS EXTRA

Whilst on the subject of Paul Freeyourself; who Our Mozzer has mentioned a few times in parody pieces, it was brought to my attention the other day that Paul is a fan of FTM, so yesterday I tweeted him to see if he believed it was the real Morrissey interacting with us. He doesn't!....which goes to show how little he knows.

And whilst on the subject of Morrissey tribute acts, one of the more bizarre Twitter accounts to turn on Morrissey yesterday was @TheSmythsUk - a Smiths tribute band. The Smyths posted a tweet to distance themselves from Morrissey, and suggested that people, "just remember The Smiths as they were". The tweet was later deleted when it obviously dawned on someone in the band that they could lose their livelihood by taking an anti-Moz stance. The question is though, what sort of people would wish to make money on the back of someone they deem to be racist? It is bad enough that The Smyths are foolish cunts, but to be hypocritical parasitical cunts as well makes them the lowest of the low. I have seen The Smyths play on many occasions, but NEVER again.


THE SMYTHS - HYPOCRITICAL, PARASITICAL, JUDAS CUNTS

There was a lot of anger on Twitter yesterday, as Morrissey fans and ex-Morrissey fans battled it out. At one point we even had The Smyths and Paul Freeyourself at each others' throats, which made for mild entertainment.

Another person to attack Morrissey was mobile DJ, Dave Haslam who; as I reported last month, has released a book which he is using Morrissey's name to promote - another Judas parasite. Haslam was delighted to report on Twitter yesterday that Shelagh Delany's daughter, Charlotte (@charmalotta) had tweeted the following about Morriseey, "He better not nick any more of my mum's dialogue....she wouldn't like it." Shelagh is, of course, dead, so Charlotte has no idea whether her mother would like Morrissey using lines from her work. She certainly didn't mind when she was alive, and one would like to think that Shelagh would have shown more intelligence around the subject of Morrissey than her easily influenced daughter is currently showing.



CHARLOTTE DELANY - NOT HER MOTHER


Our old friend GOB (Sabine Maltby @GirlOnBike1102) was another one who couldn't help but put the boot into Mozzer, and when I pointed out to her that she was once again making a fool of herself, she blocked me.....AGAIN! When I tweeted to say that I had been blocked by her, Morrissey (as @Alfsbutton) replied, "Sie oder ihr Sohn?", which is German for, "She or her son?" I have to say that I burst out laughing as I read the translation because Mozzer was referring to the time GOB had a big fall-out with Morrissey (as Broken) back in 2014, when she called him a fag; which she later tried to deny by suggesting her young son had hacked into her Twitter account. He's a funny bloke is Mozzer.

A parody piece was written about 'Fag-gate' by Broken in the comments section of Day 868 - it is very amusing.


MOZZER - FUNNY BLOKE

I wonder if Morrissey is immune to all this nonsense by now. It must hurt him when he sees people turn on him when he has done absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe he just laughs at such idiocy.

So many people were discussing Morrissey on Twitter yesterday that he became the 7th most discussed trending subject. The only comment made by Our Mozzer to any of the many fools was at 10pm last night, when he replied to a singer called James Kennedy (@JamesKennedyUK); who I must confess, I have never heard of. Kennedy accused Morrissey of saying, "redundant, needlessly provocative & offensive things", to which Moz (as @Alfsbutton) replied, "I've been saying things outside of the norm for decades. Am I offensive? Only for the easily offended." Kennedy didn't reply - well what could he say? What can any of these fools say?


JAMES KENNEDY - YET ANOTHER MISGUIDED FOOL

Ricky Dan (@nothappysad75) reinforced OM's tweet to James Kennedy by adding, "And the brainwashed". Ricky Dan's role in this story is to argue that Alf isn't Morrissey, not to join him in battle! He really is a contradictory old thing.    


There were two contenders yesterday for tweet of the day. The first one was from the previously mentioned Morrissey impersonator , Paul Freeyourself, who in reply to me asking him if he believed that the person we interact with on Twitter was the real Morrissey, replied that he didn't like to see people impersonate Morrissey. Oh, the irony. I felt compelled to point out to Paul that he himself impersonates Morrissey and he replied, "It's an easy mistake to make, but in actual fact I don't. I don't sign bad cheques in his name, nor do I extort money out of lonely housewives on the internet by pretending I'm Morrissey, I occasionally get up onstage and sing his songs dressed a bit like him, that's all." And they call me deluded!



PAUL FREEYOURSELF (FRONT) - NOT AN IMPERSONATOR!

The second contender for tweet of the day yesterday came from a Twitter user called Rachel Cosens (@Rachel_Cosens) who was replying to a tweet from the incredibly forgettable Reverend & The Makers (@Reverend_Makers); a band who once had a solitary Top 10 hit a number of years ago, who had tweeted that, "Morrissey is a proper cock isn't he". Rachel replied, "Yep. Always thought The Smiths would have been better without him too." And that, ladies and gentlemen, just about sums up how mad everyone has become lately.

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Tuesday June 12 2018 - A twelve minute wonder from the new Fletcher Lynd (The real and proper Day 2463)

June 12, 2018, 5:49 am

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Following the publication of my blog entry on Thursday evening, Morrissey (as @Alfsbutton) took to Twitter and sent me the following, very touching, tweet: "I must commend you on today's blog. Utterly mesmerizing."

My chest swelled with pride at this praise from the very highest level, and I tweeted to tell Our Mozzer that I was touched, and that the blog entry had taken me all day to write.

My swollen chest was quickly deflated though, when Our Mozzer's contradictory side-kick, Ricky Dan (@nothappysad75) appeared in the Wrong Arms and tweeted, "All day? Christ, I'd have said twelve minutes tops to throw that nonsense together." - he is obviously still smarting at me suggesting that he didn't spend much time putting that Humanity thing of his together. It's just jealousy of course - Ricky may have earned millions of pounds over the past seven years writing films and things whilst I have earned nothing whatsoever writing FTM, but he and I both know that in a hundred years from now, the world will still be talking about the cutting edge underground piece, Following The Mozziah, whilst absolutely NO ONE ANYWHERE will be talking of Special Correspondents.....come to think of it, no one anywhere is talking about Special Correspondents now!



Our Mozzer replied to Ricky Dan by tweeting, "I was being ironic. Is irony banned in 2018?", but when I then responded with, "thanks a bunch", Mozzer swayed back my way, tweeting, "Just kidding, I was very impressed. There was a favourite personal portrait of mine thrown in for good measure."



Also following the publication of Thursday's FTM, I received a Twitter DM from Our Mozzer which read, "If less than 20 comments on today's FTM I will close Alf."I shared this message with my 97 Twitter followers, and thankfully seventeen of us combined to leave enough comments to keep our favourite diva in situ.

In the very early hours of Friday morning - 1:49am to be exact - Our Mozzer posted, "Found Found Found", and as if by magic, up popped the mysterious Garrett (@MRLennon__40) who replied, "I really believe the more you give your trust and love the more you're bound to loose (sic)", to which M then wittingly came back with, "Foot loose and fan free?". I wonder if OM and Garrett had been out late, or if they were up early, and were they together? Hmm.

FOOT LOOSE AND FAN FREE


OM's next visit to The Wrong Arms came exactly twelve hours later, when he replied to my tweet of, "Morrissey is Jonathan Livingston". He asked, "Are you Fletcher Lynd?" I'd like to think so.


Morrissey's only other tweet of Friday was in response to newcomer,  Wolf (@UZ_1966) tweeting, "I've heard the tongue now must be centred at all time", to which M rhetorically asked, "Or is that censored at all times?"

This blog entry will get no praise whatsoever, and was thrown together in twelve minutes. They can't all be Pulitzer prize winning candidates.

Friday June 15 2018 - Marred (The real and proper Day 2466)

June 15, 2018, 9:59 am

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All has been fairly quiet on the Moz front over the past few days, with Morrissey's only visit to The Wrong Arms being on Wednesday afternoon to make a comment on a list of songs I had tweeted as a request for the upcoming concerts. He tweeted, "None of the above". The list included Trouble Loves Me, Pigsty, Israel, In Your Lap, My Love I'd Do Anything and Jacky's Only Happy. Surely at least one of those will be played... won't they?

In other news, Morrissey has been spotted in Soho House, which is a members drinking club in the heart of London. If he has been spending nights out on the town, it may explain those late night tweets that I mentioned in my last blog entry.

In other, other news, the despicable and morbidly obese, LizzyCatMoz; who was heavily involved with our story in the early days before disappearing up her own backside, has once again been putting the boot into Morrissey on Twitter.....but I can't be bothered to write about her because she is irrelevant. I won't mention her in this blog again - ding dong, the witch is dead.

And finally, Johnny Marr was on Channel 4 News yesterday, where he stated that he disagrees with Morrissey, although he didn't actually say what it was that he disagreed with. I doubt he even knows what he disagrees with, but just disagreeing will no doubt help him shift a few copies of his new album to all those Smiths fans who have turned their backs on Morrissey. I am reluctant to criticise Johnny Marr, because the last time I did, I got severely slapped across the wrists, but there was no need for him to try and look 'cool' and 'right on' by saying that he disagreed with Morrissey, and in doing so, he has cheapened both himself and the Morrissey/Marr legacy. Morrissey has never done that, and I'm pretty sure he never would.

Monday June 18 2018 - Fuck MozArmy (The real and proper Day 2469)

June 18, 2018, 6:20 am

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I awoke yesterday morning to find that Our Mozzer (as @Alfsbutton) had been posting tweets at 5.30am, which either means he had another very late night, or he had awoken early. Coincidentally, Contradictory Dan (@nothappysad75) had also been tweeting at that time of the morning too - had Morrissey been out on an all night bender with Ricky Gervais, and then the pair of them had arrived home and taken to Twitter?




It is a rather far fetched theory about Moz and Ricky both tweeting at 5am, and as Ricky Gervais's official Twitter account sprang to life at 9am yesterday morning, I think it is highly unlikely that he was awake at 5am tweeting as Contradictory Dan, so perhaps it is time for me to drop my theory that Contradictory Dan is Ricky Gervais, but I remain convinced that this Dan fellow is someone'connected' to Morrissey..... I think.

In truth, I don't know what I think, so let me stop thinking and get back to the one thing that I am quite sure about - Morrissey as @Alfsbutton.

At 5.25am yesterday, Alf tweeted, "Time. Slowly slips away."

His next tweet was a reply to a tweet posted by his most recent interviewer, Fiona Dodwell (@Angel_Devil982). Fiona had tweeted, "The cards that best represent my emotional life are the ones that read: [BLANK INSIDE]", to which Mozzer replied, "[BLACK INSIDE]"



Morrissey's final tweet of early Sunday morning was actually a retweet of a tweet I had posted on Friday which read, "Fuck MozArmy". The reason I had posted that tweet is because I have been in constant dispute with members of the so called MozArmy lately, pointing out to them that they are hypocrites to still be using this group name when they have all turned their collective backs on Morrissey.

One of the biggest hypocrites in their group is a Scottish guy called Andy B; who for some reason uses the Twitter name @tonymerchison. Andy B seems to be one of the leaders of this MozArmy, and yet although the profile on the @MozArmy Twitter account reads, "Kindness to Morrissey", this despicable Andy B/Tony weasel has a pinned tweet which states that Morrissey's words are, "abhorrent, inexcusable & indefensible" - that's the Moz Army's idea of kindness! First of all we had Judge John Weeks calling Morrissey, "Devious, truculent and unreliable", and now we have Weasel Andy B calling him, "Abhorrent, inexcusable and indefensible" - what a pair of cunts.

Weasel Andy B's pinned tweet also goes on to state, "I'm damned if his words are going to spoil the friendships I've made through @mozarmy; a warmer, kinder & more loving group of people I have never known", to which Morrissey has wittingly replied, "People said the same about the SS."


 
ANDY B IN HIS MOZARMY UNIFORM - APTLY GIVING A NAZI SALUTE 

These ex-fans of Morrissey are the worst kinds of wretches imaginable. If these turncoats all want to remain friends with each other then fine, but DON'T do so in the name of Morrissey, and STOP obsessing over a man that you supposedly no longer care for. I ran a Twitter poll yesterday to see what other Morrissey fans thought about these people. The result was:

20% were in favour of the turncoats being banned from MozArmy
33% wanted the MozArmy renamed SmithsArmy
47% thought that MozArmy should be disbanded

Whatever happens to this group, the one thing that is absolutely clear, is that Morrissey does NOT approve of them. The MozArmy has now sunk to the levels of Morrissey-Solo. Of course the truth is, as we all know, that these weasels do still love Morrissey, will still buy and play his records, and some of them will even have the audacity to still go to his concerts....although whether or not they will be allowed in is another matter - Morrissey KNOWS who these people are. The likes of Andy B would do well to remember what happened to Hugh Clark - you can't expect to slag Morrissey off on social media and then expect to be allowed to waltz into his concert halls when it pleases you.

The MozArmy founder, Julie Hamill (@JulieHamill), is one of the few members of the 'Army' who hasn't yet turned on Morrissey, but whilst she continues to let these deserters tarnish Morrissey's good name whilst being part of her 'gang', then in my eyes it is guilt by implication and association. She is as bad as them.

One day these MozArmy lot will wake up and remember that the lyrics to All You Need Is Me were right on the money.





Mozzer's early morning activity on Twitter yesterday not only surprised one or two of us irregular regulars of The Wrong Arms, but also must have surprised those at Twitter HQ, because Alf's account was yesterday 'restricted'.



This restriction didn't last long though, and at 12:37 PM, Morrissey returned to Twitter to tweet, "Never fear, fear is here"....and then he went again, although not before 'liking' a tweet of one of the songs I had posted - Art-hound. Could we be getting this song on the upcoming tour? Probably not!


And finally, just as I had managed to convince myself that Contradictory Dan isn't Ricky Gervais, a 'coincidence' occurred on Twitter yesterday that has immediately brought my theory flooding back to the forefront of my mind. Let me explain:

Yesterday morning I was in a debate about Morrissey with a couple of no marks called, Michael Legge (@michaellegge) and Christopher Webb (@chrisporkerwebb) whilst using the BRS Twitter account. In an attempt to try and belittle me - because they couldn't out-debate me - Porker Webb tweeted, "Wasn't Blue Rose the name of Mike Read's crazed stalker fan?" - as it happens, Porky was nearly correct, DJ/Presenter, Mike Read did have a crazed stalker fan, who actually went by the name of Blue Tulip Rose Read - Blue Tulip Rose deludedly believed that she was married to Read, hence the reason she had taken his surname.

A few hours after my Twitter debate, Ricky Gervais (as @RickyGervais) posted a tweet about German football coach, Joachim Löw's hairstyle, saying that it resembled the hairstyle of......wait for it.....MIKE READ!!! Of all the DJs and all the hairstyles in all the world, WHY did Gervais mention Mike Read? No doubt it is a genuine coincidence....maybe....definitely maybe.  



*UPDATE*

Julie Hamill has now reported me to the Twitter police. It would appear that the MozArmy are not happy to have Morrissey fans call-out their Moz hating members - you couldn't make this up.

Tuesday June 19 2018 - Let downs and c**** (The real and proper Day 2470)

June 19, 2018, 10:24 am

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Our Mozzer (as @Alfsbutton) entered The Wrong Arms yesterday evening dressed as Mike Bassett and announced, "As England will be playing football tonight I will be selecting my all time England 11 shortly."




Mozzer then added, "This is not in position order."

We were then treated to the following:

"Number 1) Gary "I'm still 28 really" Lineker. Much like Joyce he never missed an easy target. Also like Joyce he is paid by the bucketload for doing very little and using his name famous decades previously."

"Number 2) John "I feel no guilt" Fashanu. For reminding us he was almost as bad at football as he was at being a brother."


JOHN FASHANU - SHIT BROTHER

"Number 3) Rio "I discovered the alphabet aged 11" Ferdinand. His brain learnt the way to kick a ball and then promptly decided to learn nothing else."

"Number 4) Carlton "please don't play me" Palmer. Reminding us that ample legs does not equate to mesmerising grace."

"Number 5) Bobby "national icon" Charlton. Who made it acceptable to have a ridiculous hairstyle and still maintain some standards."




"Number 6) Steven Gerrard - for without football he would surely be serving life in prison for aggravated burglary at his mothers house."

"Number 7) Michael Carrick - for being as boring and uninspiring as his name would suggest."

"Number 8) Kieron Dyer - The one man who must have suffered more sudden illnesses than I."




"Number 9) Emile Heskey - reminding us playing a house as a striker is not necessarily a good idea."

"Number 10) Ashley Cole - for breaking the heart of the nations princess."

"Number 11) The Neville's - just look at their smug ugly faces."




"Number 12) and English by my honour. Bert Trautmann. Broke his neck and carried on playing. Much like my life from 2008."

Following the announcement of the Number 12 I replied, "Tweet of the day", to which Our Mozzer came back with, "This was all an elaborate set up for my punchline."

The incorrect use of an apostrophe for the Nevilles left me wondering if someone else had posted this tweet, but even lyrical geniuses make the odd mistake....as do hairy backed bloggers.

When Kev (@MozzaKev) asked, "Who's the one player you wish was English?", he received the unsurprising reply of, "George Best."





I interjected that I thought OM had a soft spot for Rio Ferdinand, and got the reply, "Has he not made the team?" 

I also enquired, "This is your 'All time 11'? All time WHAT?", and got the reply, "Let downs and c****..... and there you have your next blog title."

I pointed out that that could have been the title of Monday's blog, to which OM replied, "Change it immediately", but I didn't, I have saved it for today.

Alexander Burley (@AlexanderJB89) responded to the Bobby Charlton tweet about maintaining standards with a ridiculous hairstyle by tweeting, "Thought that was you". I expected Burley to have his head ripped off for such impertinence, but Mozzer must have been in a good mood, as he wittingly replied, "I do not have any standards".

Dan Birch (@danbirch1) tweeted to state that he was surprised Mozzer hadn't picked Beckham at Number 7, to which M replied, "He is not a let down as I never expected anything from him. He is a c*** but everyone knows that."

When Boozey Kerry (@eponymousgeek) asked, "No Joey Barton?", Alf replied, "He is a captain of a different team".




I don't think Mozzer's 'All time 11' would be very good, especially as he didn't select a goalkeeper. The actual England team won last night's match against Tunisia 2-1. I still believe.

All the excitement of the World Cup reminded me that in 2006, I wrote a new version of Three Lions, and not only recorded it and sang it on my local radio station, but also performed it on Meridian Television. I tweeted one of my verses, which went:

"Out in Japan it was going to plan
And Beckham was our ma_a_an
When he scored, we all roared
We thought that this time
At last we can win, and at last we can sing
But Brazil did their thing
But I'm still singing

Three Lions on the shirt...."

My tweet got the following response from Alf:

"Christ."


This morning I woke up to discover that the Twitter Police had suspended my account for alleged 'hateful conduct'. They cited two tweets I had sent to a Moz Army member called, Matt (@Matt_1976), in which I had called him a, "ginger cunt". There was NO hate whatsoever in either of the tweets, but Twitter obviously don't believe in free speech, and don't care about context.

I don't think for one minute that it was Matt who reported me; especially as he has spent the last two/three weeks calling me every name under the sun - he gives as good as he gets. I am pretty sure that it is the MozArmy Commander General, Julie Hamill who has reported me. She has turned her group into exactly the same sort of group as Morrissey-Solow, i.e. full of Moz haters, and she bans and censors any Morrissey fan who doesn't agree with her point of view. These aren't Morrissey fan groups, they are Morrissey hate groups. You couldn't make this up. One can only hope that Johnny Rogan gives Hamill a lift up the M56 after he has picked up LizzyCatMoz.

Mozzer took to Twittter at 1:52 PM today to respond to my free speech being taken away by the Twitter police. He tweeted, "And now he knows how Tommy Robinson feels."

Thursday June 28 2018 - Nearly forty & never laughing (The real and proper Day 2479)

June 28, 2018, 6:46 am

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In the absence of Our Moz
And in the absence of any tweets
I have decided
I'm throwing my fists towards, Haslam

I should point out that my fists have only been thrown metaphorically, but whilst Our Mozzer has been absent from Twitter I, along with a few other Morrissey fans, have been laying into the journalist/fanzine writer/DJ/ex-Moz fan, Dave 'has been' Haslam, and exposing him for what he really is - a liar and a fraud.

The reason so many Morrissey fans have turned on this Haslam wretch is because he has arranged a 'Hope not Hate' disco to coincide with one of Morrissey's Manchester concerts in July, with his idea being that the few dozen ex Morrissey fans who now believe Morrissey to be a racist, have somewhere to congregate.

However, despite Haslam having dragging up quotes of Morrissey's from nearly thirty years ago in a pathetic attempt to try and back-up his claims that Morrissey is racist, and despite Haslam claiming he hasn't liked Morrissey since the 1980s, a number of Haslam's own very recent quotes have surfaced, in which he claims Morrissey is a friend. The man is a hypocrite and a phoney, but it seems he knows no shame.

As to why Haslam is trying to attract those with a love of Morrissey's songs by holding a reggae disco is quite bizarre - surely a Smiths disco would have made more sense. I can only guess that somewhere in Haslam's twisted mind, he thinks that the playing of black artists music somehow signifies the opposite of Morrissey. You can't help but feel that Haslam is a subspecies, and he now joins the list of people who will hopefully be picked-up by Johnny Rogan for that drive down the motorway.

DAVE 'HAS BEEN' HASLAM - A LYING BASTARD WHO IS READY FOR A LIFT WITH ROGAN

I am having to be a little bit careful about what I write on Twitter at the moment, because last week I was arrested by the Twitter police twice in two days. I wrote about my first arrest last Tuesday - for calling some nobody a, "ginger cunt" - but I was re-arrested the following day for calling a guy called Michael Legge (@MichaelLegge) an, "ugly cunt". My Twitter account was again suspended for twelve hours and I was forced to delete the tweet, which really is very silly indeed, because it had already been read. If Twitter are going to behave like school teachers, they should go the whole hog and make you apologise to your 'victim' before you are allowed back. Deleting the tweet is a nonsense. I was informed on both occasions that my account was suspended under Twitter's 'hateful conduct' policy, but the hate is supposed to be on the grounds of race, gender, age or disability, so I can only presume that in both cases I was nicked for hatred towards the disabled. I guess being ugly is a disability of sorts, whilst being ginger certainly is. I shall try and keep my nose clean.



MICHAEL LEGGE - "UGLY CUNT"....WHO IS ALSO GINGER - A DOUBLE DISABILITY

Anyway, enough of all these battles with  people who are completely insignificant to anything or anyone. It is time to look forward to the upcoming concerts, which begin in just six days time. And on the subject of concerts, a Latin American tour has now been announced for November/December covering; Mexico, Peru, Brazil, Paraguay, Argentina and Chile - it's funny how Morrissey is embraced all around the world, and the only people who seem to accuse him of racism are the Brits.




And finally, after an absence of a week, Morrissey (as @Alfsbutton) has made a couple of appearances in The Wrong Arms. He popped in on Tuesday afternoon to reply to a couple of people who had tweeted him. The first was to a Twitterer called Little Rabbit (@1Littlerabbit - who follows no one, and has no followers!) who had tweeted, "I love you", to which Morrissey replied, "Why?"

M's second tweet was a reply to Wolf66 (@wolf66_m) who had asked, "Would you ever consider doing album anniversary tours", to which Mozzer wittingly replied, "As long as we don't count greatest hits, compilations and reissues. I'm nearly 40 and can't go on forever." 


NEARLY FORTY....

Just before 2.30pm today, the Alf account was closed down, but just before it closed, Mozzer did post one last tweet to me (using the @BlueRoseSociety account), replying to me asking if a tweet I had seen had made him laugh. The tweet in question was from someone called @jackgraymcr, who had tweeted, "I've got my mum wank presents for her birthday over the years so I'm buzzing to take her to see Morrissey for the first time in 20 years next week. Get in." Morrissey replied, "I never laugh".

And now we wait...